Friends of Pests

Weak-tongue Update: “Friends of Pests” is proud to announce that our organization through your generous donations did succeed - in “record breaking time” - to raise enough “loot” to buy Sarah Palin a “Step Stool” to spare the Fido from abuse. But there was a minor delay, as our 1st purchase was from Home Depot but that didn't go over so well with “Made in America”. So we needed to collect another $5-bucks, so we could then shop at SEARS and be guaranteed a “stool” sample from China. But I do thank the 1999 individuals that volunteered to donate, as this was indeed a “hardship” situation with the Palins. So thanks again. You will be receiving a “Spare Fido Campaign” donation slip and a bumper sticker in the mail shortly - for purposes of declaring the donation against your income, but a penny may not help all that much. Hey a penny saved is a penny earned, still in today's inflation then deflation circus. And those that donated, if was for the cause, and right at Christmas! Now we thank the City of Fairbanks for offering to handle the gasoline costs to get this much needed “stool” to Sarah's shack in Lake Willbegonesoon – down there in Wasillabilly proper. And of course we had to bribe the gatekeeper when we tried to drive through “Felonyville”, but when Mayor “Bad Breath” heard we were on a “mission” to deliver the “stool”, we were then escorted by men-of-the-felon to the lake's entrance under surveillance by Greta Van Susteren, who has been camped out on this story. I guess Hannity has gone into deep depression over this, so FOX wants up-to-date coverage the outcome. With the “stool” delivered, that should close another chapter in the Dr. Victor archives. Wow, so everybody was chipping in to head off a serious problem. And since all good deeds deserve fudge, we are now being asked to find donations for another worthwhile cause. See, the Mayor of Fairbanks is under observations for the “Big Head” syndrome. Researchers now realize that “Air Pollution” may cause not only respiratory problems, but behavioral problems as well. “Because PM 2.5 is so small that it can enter the bloodstream it can affect just about any part of the body, including the brain. Recent studies have linked exposure to air pollution to decreased cognitive abilities.” According to anonymous sources, the attempt to screw the citizens out of $15,866 for a $37.50 “personal” fine reveals that something ain't working right in Mayor Everfart's brain functionality. And the “Air quality” has been nasty up north this year, breaking all kinds of records. The MD that contacted us on this dilemma feels if we can put the APOC fine to rest, then the citizens will be no longer at risk and maybe then the swelling in Mayor Everfart's brain will subside and he will then be able to function without a disability. So we are once again asking for a helping hand, to pay off this fine before the Alaska Public... See, the Mayor used his e-mails inappropriately and was caught, so was fined! I mean, have your cake and eat it too with such a measly fine for defecating on state campaign laws. Wow, just received a nickel from Lake Willbegonesoon! Might be another weather breaking day!