Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind


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Sunday, October 27, 2013


Wow, after spending over 550000 man-hours alive on Planet Enema – a.k.a. Earth before the 113th Congress convened – it means many a World Series has come and gone wherein, praytell I finally have figured out what the “7th Inning Stretch” is all about. See, it has nothing to do with the fans, like allowing for an extended urinalysis because of the habitual guzzling down of too much of that piss ant beer brand – a.k.a. Budweiser. Do you know what “Bud” means in German slang? “grandma's underwear”. Do you know what “weiser” means in German slang? “stinky”. So just add the definitions together and you get the point! Honestly, why drink this crap if it makes you want to piss like there was no tomorrow? So the “Stretch” is a time out so the peon workers assigned jury duty in the dugouts can pick up all the crap and litter left behind by the players who may as well have “Slob” painted on their jersey. Newsflash: And today “Slob” was indoctrinated into the Pete Rose Hall of Shame! Pete was the greatest baseball player ever to play the game! Anyway, the “stretch” is job security I guess for the waste management “above” minimum wage earners, as I am sure with the “spit” that accompanies the dugouts trashed, it can be classified as a “Love Canal” zone – so maybe the workers are allowed hazardous duty pay! Yes, it comes to you in living 3-D “phlegm” in the comfort of your living room across that super wide TV screen! Thought that blurb flying across the screen was a bird it's a plane, think twice. See, I know, as the other day after watching Sarah Palin on the FOX during her narcissist like sermon wherein the Wasillabilly Queen enlightens her lemming followers how making out with a toad means slimy business, well I consumed way to much beer watching the melodrama. I thought FOX was supposed to be news' wise intelligent? When the bimbo broadcast finds Sarah & Company teaming up, well gag me with a spoon full of kaopectate! Now during this Palin frog follies and still not having to pee - as good brew stays with you and doesn't want to be pissed away like when Congress gets a hold of the Treasury's safe combination - while in couch potato mode the other day and surfing, I found this great America sport alive and well. No not FOX's fixation with the queen and her toad, but real live baseball. And like already mentioned, these big screen “I want to take over your living room” Best Buy addictions, I was amazed at how littered the dugouts were, when the camera man focused in on the spit shooting contests of the Major Weed Players. It was unbelievable to say the least, what a bunch of pigs! I hope when they go home to their families they put this child like rivalry away. “Spit you”. “Hey, spit you to”. Yuck! But it is the dugout trash crew that takes a beating, picking up after a few innings at bat because a tripping hazard now exists, and the way professional players like to sue the fans, we must make these sacred grounds “safe” or else. How come we never see attacks on the unions of major league sports, like we see with Scott Walker trying to make us all slaves? Look, when Farve regains his consciousness and litigates the hell out of the football network - ha, ha FOX - we will pay as the price of a can of “Grandma's Stinky Underwear” will quadruple, just to pay for Farve's retirement plus! Today's litmus test puzzler: “Is Bret more brain dead then Sarah – with that I can see Russia from here bullshit moment?” Look, the trickle down theory was made possible by your representative taking bribes from yes, “Grandma's Stinky Underwear” corporation with Citizen's United taking over. See, when the supreme beings made that decision – or opinion as it is called so finds no legal standing – it appears half the court had just finished watching the Queen on the FOX so were totally confused and the other half, well maybe it was the beer! “We the People” pay for everything. We pay for prisoners to lead a life of luxury as gang members. If your dreams early on in life aspire to a “prisoner” calling, hey 3-squares a day, no sweating allowed and free “Converse”! And on special occasions non-alcoholic “grandma's.... “We the People” pay for the Congress, to lead the life of prisoners, that luxury thing for theft upon the Constitution. Yes, it all boils down to the middle class being pissed upon some more. Damn, smells like “grandma's....So maybe with the commencement of the next game, maybe a salute to the trash crew. But here comes the surreal McCoy. What's with the umping? Color blindness sneak in? But when the camera crew was not busy tracking globs of spit exhausted from the orifices of multi-million dollar majors, low and behold, members of Congress have taken up a new sport. Yes, at Saturday's gig at Busch Stadium with the Cardinals against the Bean Town Behemoths, it was House Speaker John Boehner behind the plate, and couldn't tell a strike from a ball. Mitch was on 1st and Alaska's Don Young on 3rd – but he was wearing a Nancy Pelosi “Rabid Skunk” mask for Halloween! And Turd Cruz was supposed be way out in left field, but he was at face blasting practice, because he wants to grow up to be just like Dick Cheney. That's what I like about Obama's affordable heath care, as Mr. Scud Crud Cruz can get that artificial heart now, has here is an individual without a heart. So we see that with Congress performing the refereeing, it was like how they perform when in session. Let's see thinks Mr. "Tanman" Boehner, a strike? What's the hand signal from the lobby constituency say about that. “Balk,” Congress' greatest asphyxiation with representation. And in the final seconds of Game 3, Boehner called “Obstruction”, because the 3rd base player laid down on his job and the runner, some lobbyist trying to get to “K” Street in a hurry, tripped. See, like with the bad habit spitting that goes down, it is how we are treated by Congress. We look up to them, as that body is supposed to represent our intent at fulfilling our dreams - that life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. But even so, the “spit runneth over”. Our national icons in the fields of green are littered with trash and spat upon with no remorse, and when laziness gets in the way they cry foul, and then we see the true blood reaction and it's called “Obstruction”? You're OUT! And Congress is well beyond the “3-Strikes” doctrine, isn't that a ticket to that jail? Now, that would not be a waste.... as long as Sarah was made the Warden with a whip!

By Design....

Toad for a Day!

Wow, just in! FOX to air new reality show, called “Toad for a Day”, starring Toad Palin in his attempt to find Cinderballyall. I guess he finally realized that Sarah was the wicked witch of the....Lady Tremaine, or was it Madame Termite?

Friday, October 25, 2013

Alaska Was!

Let it SNOW!

Tank Farm or Ant Farm?

Workers in Valdez, Alaska, remove snow(2012) from atop a crude oil storage tank holding 500,000 Barrels.

People Please HELP!

People of My Country 'tis of Thee, when is enough truly enough? From the east coast of America: A young math teacher throat slain in Boston by a 14-year old kid. From the west coast of America: A 13-year old kid carrying a fake AK-47, killed by police! We have become so reckless, can we not just put down our fears for a time and act civil? At least during the World Series! Seriously...has civil disobedience and civil dysentery become the normal course of events upon the Red, White & Blue machine? Maybe just try for once to smile at one another instead of shooting at eachother. What motives? A dysfunctional society has no motives, as it has no clear cut goals as many think the “mission” is accomplished - we have become stagnated and it is strangling us from sea to shining sea! America has become the “Killing Fields” extraordinare and we have found ourselves on that “Dead End” round-about circus merry-go-round with “Hell” the only exit. And what exercise upon the 1st Amendment allows for abuse upon the Constitution, with the “Quick Draw McGraw” blog-shooting gone wild, wherein you can camouflage yourself in the comfort of your home surrounded by hi-tech hi-speed “crapola” and take wack like pop shots at your fellowman – it is not in most cases a “freedom” of speech – as it surrounds itself with Palin like “HATE”! This sort of thing continues to segregate our freedoms. Why the news' media allows for this maniac revenge to rage on is a demonstration that Neanderthal behavior is modern man's corporate demensia! Yes, we forget we want to advance civilization, yet at the same time we practice a ways and means to set us back. And forget about any higher intelligent race finding those “time capsules” of value, as I am sure those things smell of corruption and are forever banned from possession. Who in hell would want to see how we live and act? And didn't we learn from our past mistakes? Sad it is, as there was hope on the horizon, until..... It brings back memories, of where we may have gone instead of gone way too wrong. Some of us were trying to head us all in the right direction, even though it appeared we were off course and ready to run “Hard Aground”, but not there yet then “BANG, Bang, Bang Bang! Like there exists a faction out there that wants failure, that “Total destruction is the only solution” kind of “mindset”. Look, there came to be a prophet in our midst, one that may have been able to keep that civil flame of “Brotherly Love” from poofing out. “Glory Be” was on the horizon, then, well the narcissists – aborted fetuses from zombie whores - invaded what was left standing at Tranquility Base and that was the foundation of our very existence, so today we see this nation has fallen overboard as that foundation has been corrupted - maybe today beyond repair. The reason we have a failed Congress! Look, Congress fails only if it is failed by the “People”. Don't blame Congress for all that is going wrong, just look in the mirror to get a glimpse of who is to blame for this mess! We are all accomplices to the crime spree wave. Back to that prophet that once upon a time was here to deliver what was needed to right all the wrongs of a dysfunctional ballot. See, Gabrielle Gifford was smart, a good looker, a hunter that cherished the 2nd Amendment's right to bear arms and a liberal from the Madman state. With those qualities, hey move over Mr. McCain and company! But Gabrielle was a threat, as she was supposed to become this nation's 1st “Woman President”. But she was targeted by the Wicked Witch of the North and probably attacked from behind the scenes by “Filthy Hillary” - Bill's whore piece! See, this is what has happened to America. When we have before us a middle ground thinker, that supports the 1st and 2nd Amendments and all the others, this is quality leadership that has the ability to mend those battered bridges we stand upon today. Too bad her passion was cut short, by a short-circuited nymphomaniac. Yes, John McCain unleashed Godzilla's “Montezuma's” revenge, when he decided to bring a bimbo aboard his sinking ship during the 2008 “I'm a black prisoner” race. Yes, I can be frank and honest and correct that the reason today we see Gabrielle struggling to regain consciousness, it was due to a jealous sore looser named Sarah Palin. OK, so I take back what I said about the “Filthy” one, maybe she is innocent! And why Palin was never arrested as an accomplice in that massacre down in Arizona a few years ago, it goes to show that Texas is winning the battle being fort and wants to turn this nation into the old west shoot'm up statutory night special every night special edition of Nazi Germany! Instead of the gas chambers, our streets and our schools have been turned into asphyxiating nightmares. And Sarah still prances around like she has a toad stuck up her twart. I'm serious, she is a bimbo bitch and has done no good for this country. When she was affiliated with that web-site called SARAHPACS, that site posted a U.S. map that held Gabrielle in the cross-hairs of the sights of a deadly and lethal hunting weapon, what do you expect, as you are asking and looking for trouble. Sarah killed Gabrielle's chance at the White House, because she was angry that there was another woman in Uncle Sam's life, a good looker that had a brain, and was about to surrender away forever Palin's piss & vinegar - away for good. Yes, Sarah is an accomplice and should have been escorted off to the sing-sing loony-toon farm. But we act as if it were some nut-case, that visited those Palin “sites” with the “sights” of destruction, and then was summoned to do the “Dirty Harry” deed, and the real instigators go free. That is what is wrong today! When you put his scenario into the DaVinci “Time Backwards” Machine, you see a civil society that does not tolerate this kind of hate rhetoric and political blasphemy. In that “re-wind” results from the DaVinci “code”, after the massacre, Palin is lead off in chains, through the streets where once obedient now angry citizens are allowed to rock Palin to a brain dead state, which doesn't take but a flea-bitten monkey pebble, as she was already brain washed dead to begin with. But that is what was supposed to happen, but we have not come a long way even though we have come a long way. For better or worse, just look at Gabrielle today, from who she is today to what she could have been, the answer to our problems here in the Heartland, well praytell it is not difficult to comprehend. And maybe, maybe that “screwup” by James Taylor during the opening of game II of the World Series was supposed to inflict a subliminal message, as America was at one time “Oh, so beautiful”, until the “bombs bursting in air” - the killing spree of today - made it so “UGLY”. We will know when we have learned from our mistakes and another new dawn is on the horizon, the day when Sarah wakes up and turns herself in to the authorities, that is when we can begin to fix what is ailing! Until then....Thanks Gabrielle, for caring and trying!

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Alaskan Bumper Sticker

Sarah KILLED Gabrielle Giffords

Availability(SOLD OUT)

Sarah's Getting OLD!

A Break from the FOX
(Picture courtesy Toad Palin)

That's Our GOV!

Alaska Governor Parnell announces digital learning initiative aimed at rural students:

ONE means......

Runt for Red October

The “Runt for Red October”, an award given to the individual that promotes Scott Walker Communism by attacking “workers rights” here in America, that award goes to Alaska's Anchorage Mayor Dan “Fuck Your Brother” Sullivan, for making the GOP Pete Goldbug think police & firemen are lazy and have not dangerous occupations. See, with Sullivan and his “coffee” Gestapo clan, it is like an intestinal virus that attacks the decency of the entire infrastructure that is supposed to work together – in union-son! But Mr. Sullivan is toast, will never amount to anything above a “snot” - sometimes called a booger(DNC) or goober(GOP) - and the only reason he was elected was the fact we thought he would be trustworthy like his father George – Anchorage's Mayor during the late 70s. Like father like son, hardly and what a disgrace - were we conservative “voters” so wrong to vote in a “Runt”! Rumor has it that his dad disowned him when as Mayor elect, Dan swindled the old man's insurance policy away from the rightful owners. And since it appears a “Red” bug has crawled up Pete's ass – his comment about pansy wimp workers that fight our fires and make safe our streets – it appears that Mayor Dan is way up Scott Walker's ass, so this award stinks of “Communist” infestation augmented by Alaskan style “Corrupt Bastard Club” diarrhea! Congratulations Anchorage!

Scott Walker 
"Fuck Your Brother(FYB)" & Communist Party  Leader

Anchorage Mayor Dan Sullivan
After Receiving "Runt for Red October FYB" Award



If I wake, blinded by the night,
As long as I can write, I alright!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Hunt for Red October

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that...Rat race, rat race, what a rat race, some a lawful, some a bastard”! What the hell has happened to decency here in the Heartland? As we baby bummers remain defiant that nobody is going to retire our egos, well as we maintain our ship on the correct heading, our elders have been made to walk the plank! We get pissed at child abuse, but at the same time the elder abuse is sickening, like they are adults so can fend for themselves? Bullshit that sentiment! Sure we can blame it on Congress, as they do nothing to uphold decency so the crooks move in and takes advantage of the most vulnerable. And by the time Congress gets around to pass a law against this pilferagee, plunder and rape – because of the delays due the “Lobby Can Interferere Act” - it is too damn late as the hen house''s golden egg has been stolen – a.k.a. retirementent savings now valued at pennies on the dollar! Why is it so that today those that take advantage of others and end up $zillionaires$, think they are philanthropists? Outstanding this country finds itself today! Yes, our elders, the men & women that made this country free are now in exile, under attack and we let it go on, day after day after day. See, the Congress doesn't give a rat's ass about our WW vets, as most recently there was a bill on the House floor that would have initiated a “starve” them out ritual “Public Law”, as the Ryan Cruz Missile clan was all in favor of dismantling the “Meals on Wheels” program. OK, didn't we learn our lessons by trying to eradicate the Native American Indians, through a starvation program? No different here. Many elders, those that fort in the trenches abroad while the ladies stayed home to “man” the military production lines, they rely on this food program. If you think it's welfare, then find another country to honor your dishonor! To even think to dismantle such a program, it points to the fact that “Our” Congress has been infiltrated by traitors, a worse off enemy then a middle eastern terrorist attack. If we let this continue on, this abuse upon our elders by homegrown bandits, then kiss Miss Liberty goodbye! About a year ago, I received a panic call from the hospice social workers that were visiting my elderly parents, way back in Rhode Island. I live in Alaska, so can't board a train or a bus home! And even though this state receives $zillions$ in FTA grants to help build a rail infrastructure, some how that money ends up in the hands of those philanthropists. And trying to get an empty seat on the high wire at last moment, it costs the entire family's PFD combined - just to get to Boston! Anyway, I finally found a seat and headed back east, but the only reason I was able to climb aboard was the fact that the airlines were cancelling flights all over the east coast, due Wind Storm Sarah - which originated in Wasillabilly Alaska. So with a tail wind, wow, I was back at the “Green, green, grass of home” in no time flat. I guess everybody else was afraid to fly! Now the hospice caretakers were upset, that my parents were not heeding the warning of this massive storm front and heading for a shelter – where they would most likely get ripped off at the same time their house would be available for ramsacking. Look, this “theft” upon our elders is happening all across America, from sea to shining sea, but they are afraid and embarrassed to admit defeat! We must take action, else they go down in defeat and we will live forever with blood-stain on our hands and souls. See, dad didn't give a rat's ass about a storm named Sarah, as he wasn't about to let some “bitch-slap” wind and rain intimidate, even though the experts were starting to say “she” was the storm of the century. Madman McCain can attest to that fact! But it didn't faze my folks. Hey, they have lived in love long enough that they really don't give a rat's ass about tomorrow, as long as they can be together today in the comfort of their own home, no matter what kind of storm is haunting the horizon. Too bad some elders have not the comfort of their own homes any longer, due “reverse revenge mortgage” rip offs as advertised by former U.S. Senator Fred Tompson – once a U.S. Senator turned actor turned turncoat. Look, what the hell you mean to confuse our elders with that “Government Guaranteed” bullshit Fred, it doesn't guarantee anything except to the swindlers. Fred, answer me this, to you have one of these rip off mortgages? Look, my dad gave up on Congress a long, long time ago. I never believed him about how corrupt this body of governance was when I was growing up and he was trying to “teach your children well”, he was right! Anyway, it was nice to sit back with the elders during the approaching storm, as roads were closed as were stores closed which meant the drug lords were in hiding. Even Starbucks was boarded up! Wow, it was so quiet. But I had the opportunity to see what my folks were up against, egad, up too their necks in “PILLS”. I guess “Mother's Little Helper” and “One Pill Makes you...” had found new meaning. That is what I meant when I said the drug lords were in hiding. Not those shady characters in dark alleys, but the mainstream drug outlets found so conveniently at every corner and neighborhood strip-mall, with easy access – to addict our elders! What the hell is this drug lord addicting society trying to actually accomplish? Has greed taken on a whole new dimension? Now the real reason that the hospice workers called me after filing an “abuse” case against my dad, because mom wasn't taking her pills, was the fact that they were convinced that my mom and dad had only a few weeks to live and thought incarceration was a better option. Yes, take them away to the “funny farm where life is beautiful all the time”. Good thing I intervened, even though mom & dad could hold fast their fortress on their own accord. Look, my dad is Irish”! Doesn't the “Fighting Irish” ring a bell of fear? Look, my dad could go in the ring today and whip the ass of any U.S. Congressmen or Senator, even Harry Reid would be no threat! But here it is in another world reality without show. Sure Al & Gert looked deprived of life, liberty and that pursuit of happiness – as there came an ugly ghost like eye contact. Something was wrong, as phone conversation between Alaska and Little Rhody didn't get the point across as to the level of their actual health. Things sounded better, but when the law was about to take them away, unless I guaranteed that I was here to help - which meant quitting my job up north - there came a confused couple. What had they done wrong that warranted taking them away, to a place where abuse is rampant, like in those assisted living jails – wherein abuse is considered doing business! But it was clear and convincing as too what was causing this death grip upon my parents – the drugs. See, my dad still cooks and they do get visits by the “Meal on Wheels” guy, so it wasn't their diet and it wasn't their lifestyle, the common denominator instigating poor health was the drug store cowboy! I told my parents to get rid of the “Pill Box” hats, get rid of this prescription that interacts with that prescription that interacts with this and that, get rid of this garbage and get rid of the doctor that prescribed all this kaleidoscope candy. The entire medical society has turned itself into a drug addicted discipline – as doctors get addicted to the money a pill can make, it is reasonable to say a “mission” at hand to keep up the addiction, as that is what addiction is all about! I guess anybody can be an MD these days, just know how to scribble! What interactions? Look, I had a doctor try to tell me that it is up to the pharmacist to determine any interactions? And did you ever try to read that nano-print that talks about “interactions”. No, but be sure that in that language prescribed by an attorney, that you give away your option and right to sue should you wake up in the morning with an extra nose, or a nose missing! It is evil, this drug promoting fiasco, once again, it is Congress that allows for such a dysfunctional society at the grip of the pharmaceutical corporations. And you thought oil companies were bad? There was at one time a Congress that made laws to protect the ”People”, today, we find that the turncoats offer protection to the “Lousy Lobby”. Now a year latter, on the anniversary of Hurricane Sarah - my parents are much better off without the drug addictions and yes they fired that doctor! My dad can see better, my mom can walk without assisted contraptions, they get out of the house and do yard work and watch the birds. They go out, to restaurants. And the money my dad saves from not getting those pill bottles filled, he is living a better life as he doesn't have to get a loan to pay for that Congressional approved crap donut hole gap. Yes, Congress has failed here also, as it is allowing the pharmaceutical crooks to turn us all into zombies. Yes, my parents were turning into zombies, by some MD that loved to play by the rules, “Bill government deliver addiction”. The modern day creed for the medical profession that should confess to this apocalyptic approach to extending life, it finds no merit. It is not extending anything accept a doctors ego, that money thing. And it isn't only the prescription fantasy that is detrimental. Even the natural stuff should be thrown out. It is sad when we see more people in line at the drug store then the liquor store. Or when we see the “Organic Food” counters closing down so the “crap in the bottles” can look inviting, to satisfy another addiction. Here it is, if one eats a good diet, stays away from fast foods, eats an apple a day, a good life is simple. Look, when you eat beets, the next morning when you crap “red”, you know something good it pushing out something bad. When you eat good stuff, like Squid ink pasta, when you crap green the next morning, same argument as with the red crap. Eat broccoli and or asparagus, hey that next morning when pissing, you want to call 911 to report a gas leak. With the stuff that comes from America's farmlands, we should see grocery stores with “No” processed food isles, as the vegetable department should take up at least half of the floor space. What pills..... In fact, way back when, during the 60's, we had fortune tellers informing us all about what is actually happening today - had we only listened. Like Pete Segger, Dylan, Baez, Van Ronk and all the rest. Maybe we should start re-listening to what they said back then, to see how it has affected us today. In ending, thanks to poet Dylan with respect to today's Red October and how our elderly are being treated:

Dr. Filth, he keeps his world
Inside of a leather cup
But all his sexless patients
They’re trying to blow it up
Now his nurse, some local loser
She’s in charge of the cyanide hole
And she also keeps the cards that read
“Have Mercy on His Soul”
They all play on pennywhistles
You can hear them blow
If you lean your head out far enough
From Desolation Row

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

RE: Good Guy Award

Wow, are readers of my blog pissed - especially Ben & Curtis & Dan, Enstar shareholders - just because I decided to defend EXXON! The “Tiger” deserves credit, for instigating a “secretive” lock-up lock-down on ANWR, for at least the last 50-years. Now though, through a court order, the state has the keys so watch out - as the “Independents” are flocking “North to Alaska” to invade tranquility. In fact, a new city east of Deadhorse called “Podunk” has incorporated, flying a flag with a Rick Perry imprint! But back to EXXON. See, I had to come to the defense of the “Tiger”, not only for what appears to be a plan that was to keep ANWR locked away from oil development, but after having the opportunity to review the script and testimony of an upcoming documentary, with convincing evidence never revealed from workers in the know as to what went on in March of 89, the EXXON Valdez wreck was indeed and now without doubt a sabotage! Instigated by some idiot that came across as the “Pipeline Workers” whistle-blower environmental “gadfly” and his cohort in slime, a state worker that was supposed to be an environmental scientist, but was also known to spend his weekends wrecking the coastline outside of Valdez with a massive Cat bulldozer. See, these misfits wanted the wreck to happen, so bad to get their point across, that they befriended disgruntled individuals that had the capability and knowhow to send that tanker on a crash course with Bligh Reef. Yes, there were some locals that had the tools to disable and misalign the radar systems, not only on the tanker, but were successful in corrupting the Coast Guard “watch” that could have and should have prevented this wreck – wherein another set of eyes does wonders. Yes, chameleons these misfits were, disguised as the “Good Guy” and today they can say “We told you so”! I wonder if they can sleep at night? It is no different then when Sarah Palin was affiliated with that web-site that published a hit-list targeting “liberal” democrats with gun sights of a hunting rifle aimed upon the victims, wherein Gabrielle Giffords was one of those targeted. See, let somebody else do “My” dirty-work. This is how the EXXON Valdez ran “hard aground”. Not by some supposedly “drunk” captain, but a planned attempt to satisfy a “Broke” oil brokers ego, a planned attempt to satisfy the ego of an inept and derelict environmental engineer.... Wow, another “Bad Guy Award” recipient!

PS: The documentary by Eat Pie Productions, “The Sabotage of the EXXON Valdez” is due out next year, to commemorate the 25th-anniversary of the wreck, and the time has come to understand the truth as to what really came down to bring down the "Tiger"!

Monday, October 21, 2013

Good, Bad & Ugly Duckling

EXXON, the BIG TIGER ~ Good or Bad?
Enstar, your local natural gas supplier ~ Good or Bad?
Ben Stevens ~ Good, Bad or Ugly Duckling?

Right off the bat a Big NO have it your way! As contrary to popular demanding opinions, EXXON does get the coveted “Good Guy” Award while Enstar gets the “Bad Guy” honors and Ben gets the “Ugly Duckling” trophy. If you don't read on as to why this awarding's outcome is credible and deserving, then you are conceited. The “Good Guy” and why: See, back in 1965, the tiger under the humbleness of Humble Oil Company, it had acquired an oil & gas tract lease way up “North” in Alaska – for about $1.5-million bucks. Which accounted for about 25% of the state's take-home payola for its “14th Competitive Oil & Gas Lease Sale”, wherein the results were broadcast by Walter Cronkite during the popular CBS evening's newscast – as it was an historical event! All of the lease sales up to the 13th were Dudley and more! For the “Tiger”, that was a whole lot of money back then! Now this was during the time period that Alaska was seeing inevitable $$$ change, as with the discovery of oil, it meant a “Black Gold” opportunity for a state that was still reeling from that Congressional stamp of approval with “statehood”. Yes, Alaska was no longer a territory and with this “striking it rich”, it was about to become the envy of the Red, White & Blue nation as the wealthiest reserve owner that would catapult this “wilderness” from rags to riches. Today, a reserve that reaches close to $40-billion, owned by the 49er state that is still the Federal government's NO. 1 recipient of Uncle Sam handout welfare. True fact, even with the Obama “Stimulus”! And yes, the rainy day “$Reserve$” is from oil! Now this lease located in the middle of nowhere that was acquired by EXXON when it was still “Humble”, it was a rather interesting prospect – for two all important reasons. First and foremost, it wasn't an ordinary “oil pool”, as it contained some very, very good “Hot” stuff. No not Sarah Palin! Basically, it didn't need any further refinement as right out of the ground, it was usable as motor gasoline – rich “lead in your pencil” gasoline! So it was already marketable without a whole lot of extra fanfare to make it worth something. Secondly and probably more important, this “strike” was only two-measly-miles away from Area 1002, of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge – ANWR it is called. In the North Slope world of things technically challenging – 2-miles is chump change and now with extended reach drilling finding no bounds, ANWR's underworld was basically ready for the taking by outside attackers. From EXXON's lease, it would have been very easy to send a drill bit right into ANWR, to see and suck. But EXXON decided that ANWR was off limits, too much of a controversy nightmare ready to haunt even the toughest of players - even before that EXXON tanker hit the rocks in 89. So EXXON decided not to develop the Pt. Tompson pool – a high-pressure retrograde condensate formation for reasons other then “Greed” usually rules. See, the state geologists knew that this was the ultimate “pot-of-gold” and was an accurate indication of what may exist underneath ANWR, just over yonder. Remember this was good stuff and it was in an area already sanctioned for development and permitted, the Green Light was lit, right at the ANWR doorstep. See, EXXON didn't need the “potent oil” from Tompson for its “warehousing” portfolio as the controversy that would follow development close to ANWR, it would be akin to that albatross around the Tiger's neck, it wasn't worth it. EXXON knew how to make a good profit in Alaska, even without going after this “glory hole”. And even though it was so close to ANWR, it was still about 60-miles away from the mainstream development of the Prudhoe Bay area, and EXXON planned to keep this area off limits. It isn't cheap holding on to leases and refraining away from development, as it costs money to maintain the leases, it is money down the drain if development doesn't take place. Oil companies are always throwing in the towel on leases that can wait and have lost interest, but in this case EXXON wanted to keep it in the family. Yes family, as it was partially owned by the other major players already on the Alaskan scene, like ARCO and SOHIO. So it has been a team effort at keeping ANWR locked up, by the very powers that could benefit from “Open for Business” – said again, it is too much of a controversy and that can only get you tied up in environmental nightmare litigation. So “Big Oil” said the hell with ANWR, but didn't want some “podunk” coming in and getting access – the ultimate reason to keep a grip on the expensive leases, even if it meant $millions$ thrown overboard to keep current with the state resources' boss! But that was the intent, as EXXON was adamant about keeping it in good hands. So EXXON and its partners in Pt. Tompson threw away money, year after year, until the state went pissed. See, the state wanted EXXON to develop this tract, as EXXON had the “Big Pockets” to build the infrastructure required to get closer to ANWR. And now the state under Parnell's mis-leadership, it has insisted on shoving the “Shared Facilities Agreement” down “Big Oil's” throat, wherein the outfits with the big pockets have to “share” so the peons from Texas can make a buck! This is American at its best, without such interference from Perry, wherein competition rules, not “podunking”! But the fight was on and the state was loosing ground. Alaska thinks it is going broke, so has called in the Independents – the podunks. These sleaze-bag outfits, many under foreign flagship, they are cheap and want the state to bend over some more, with royalty and tax relief that brings in nothing for the state coffers. So the state finally decided to take EXXON to court, for reneging on developing this tract. Either get with it or get away from it was the state's sentiment. And finally, after years of maintaining the leases and $millions$ in litigation, EXXON lost out and is now forced to develop the lease, by building a pipeline and processing facility that even the podunks could use, as they reach closer to ANWR. And the state knows it has EXXON by the balls, as there is renewed interest from Alaska's mansion to spend money to get that oil out of ANWR! So it will only be a matter of a few years before we see ANWR looking like industrialized Prudhoe Bay, and all it takes is a little slip of that joy stick and that drill bit will be heading right smack into that area of controversy and all the state bureaucrats will just turn their heads, and worship the crookedness that surrounds this entire mess. So basically speaking, EXXON has been the roadblock to ANWR development for well over 50-years by now. Now of course EXXON and its partners will never admit to this, as it is an oil company conglomerate at work and would never be allowed to instigate this kind of stalling. But that road-blocking came at a cost, as EXXON had to spend $million$ in litigation costs. When the pressure was on by the state and the governor had the superior court on his side, it was do or die for the “Tiger”. Yet EXXON wasn't about to just give in and give up – no way in hell. So it put up a pretty good fight and we now see the “Final Frontier” being invaded! Look, it is the state of Alaska that is pressing forward to go where no man has gone before and where caribou still thrive by the thousands! See, nobody was hurt by keeping ANWR locked up, except the State of Alaska. So due the fact that EXXON was trying to keep ANWR closed, an accomplishment 50-years in the making, it deserves this “Good Guy” Award! And the reason as to why Enstar gets the coveted “Bad Guy” award, stay tuned! Look this company that supplies natural gas to south-central pays the “Book Keeping Cooker” a lousy salary, like maybe they have him in a pinch. At the same time, that same corporation pays Ben's buddy a whooping over the hill salary to play out his fantasies as a newscaster pubic relations man. Now with respect to the “Bad Guy” and the “Ugly Duckling”, well Enstar used to be “humble”, when it was owned by Seagull Energy. But when the crooks took over, that band of misfits out of Michigan, the first thing we hear about is some bull-shit that the consumers have to eat $6-million in lost profits, because Enstar tried to screw the ARMY by overcharging the cost of gas so men and women in uniform could use the laundromat! Yes, Enstar overcharged the military in the tune of $8-million, so had to repay or else face a firing squad – a drone attack today! Look, Enstar's shareholders should be eating that humble pie – not those with no responsibility this blunder – us consumers. But Enstar was caught taking candy from the cookie jar! Hey, even EXXON wouldn't try to pull this kind of criminal mischief off. See, EXXON at least had the courtesy to realize what was in store for the Tiger, Enstar thought it could get away with thievery at our expense. Why, just ask the “Ugly Duckling”, because he made off with some loot!

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Congressional Report

OK, so now that Congress at the last moment caved in and passed a budget that allows government to re-open, and right after that midnight hour vote the entire Congress left for another vacation splurge following the spending spree, at least that representative body had the courage to finalize and send out its “Report Card” before it went AWOL again. How many days this year already has that body of government been absent and delinquent? See, Congress has total immunity but feels it still has the responsibility of “self-grading” how well it is doing upon its sworn efforts at upholding the U.S. Constitution and the citizens fight for that life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. To hell with those “polls” that favor incarceration for the buns. So here it is, hot off the Library of Congress printing press. 

United States Congress 2013 Progress Report

PS: Some say if you look close enough you can see the pattern of a human face – called a pedophile – that of House Speaker John Bonner's face-print. Sorry, Mr. Soylent Brown Bonner, so it's called a parliamentary pareidolia, - I stand corrected!

Killing ANTS!

If you have nothing good to say about a person but must say something, make it a POEM!

Palin, Sarahites, Parasites & Fallopians

OK, so since the time is of age wherein age-old religions have “gone down” for the count and are no longer counted, the void left behind by disappearing perverts and your child's “Holy Communion” molester, these goons in gowns now AWOL seems to have aroused the “Snake-Oil” preachers and daily sermons on the FOX are trying to win us over. Not just with the religion aspect of “Holier then Thor” but trying to make it mandatory in efforts to erase over 216-years of separation this regional religious fanaticism away from the political scene. Have you forgotten about what we gained by inciting the “Great Emancipator” into action, our Constitution? We may not have a “Right to Privacy” as the Citizen's United Supreme Court believes, but separation is necessary yet be perish away to insanity. Church away from State is one area wherein segregation finds meaning. There is today a weakness in “who we are” and there are opportunist that see it as a ways and means to disrupt that separation, the goons in gowns left standing are trying to take advantage. And today, new age religious factions that use the “political podium” to advance there religious leprosy, it is starting to allow a sneak preview of the “New Testicle”, and the word according to the Sarahites as told by the Fallopians! Look, when the FOX has a hard time trying to decipher what in hell that UFO was all about, Utter-nonsense from a Female Orifice - in this case from Sarah Palin in a recent interview with Mrs. Foxy Lady Kelly - it is basically Fallopian Rage and Rant. Wherein that message for Sarah's followers - those lemmings wearing a coat-of-arms indicating that leprosy is alive and well - it is a message hinged on this new beginning – that the “New Testicle's” time has come! So Kelly FOX, Sarah meant and said exactly this in Fallopian tongue: “All women shall go down”. Now just ask any male - especially an oil-filed worker like her husband Toad - what this “shall go down” means and you will find out what is behind Sarah Palin's subliminal message in a bottle that is shaped like a dildo, that all women are “Blow-job delivering whores”. What else is she trying to spread around with her eunuch breath? But, she may be on to something, through her mean spirited attack on the women kind and narcissistic like crucifixion used to get that message across....No I will take that back as when Lennon sang out that “woman is the nigger of the world”, that had true meaning....With Palin, it's like a stuck up toilet, wherein a plunger would work wonders! Parasites you ask? Her following!

Friday, October 18, 2013

Dear Sarah Palin

What did you mean when you told the FOX woman that "All women go down...?” Is this something the Toad puts you up too? Ever thing of a domestic.....

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Crowd Cheezer

Crowd Cheezer? Wow, did you catch Sarah Palin “passing” wind - yes farting - which aroused the crowd she was entertaining, like a real crowd pleaser - this crowd cheezer! See, her following is according to the “Book of Shit” according to Testament of the Fallopians 6.6.6 wherein it is set in stone – Thou shall smell another's gas passing! And it was good for some, this “passing”, as we needed something of interest to get another terrorist attack off our minds and break the menopauseny. But the seed for that attack has been sowed and watered, so look out! What you mean you NO Understanday! OK, so with re-opening of the government, in that bill that allowed the national parks to re-open just in time for hunting season, there is an earmark rider that offers $2,350,000 to fund the Kentucky militia in efforts at continuing to disrupt Obama's term as the Commander-in-Chief. Look, here it is a nutshell. The TEA-Party won this go-around. Yes they did! But the failed democratic party used this opportunity as another abuse of power, wherein the age-old cronyism made it look good on their part in front of the American Observer. See, Obama was ready to sign an “Executive Order”, if there came no compromise by the midnight hour, but the only way a compromise was forthcoming out of an inept and corrupt and dysfunctional Congress, well Reid had to give into Mitch McConnell, and that is where that “loot” to finance the terrorist movement was treatised. So Mitch has that handsome amount of U.S. Taxpayer loot to continue to ruin this nation, by attacking Obama. There is something wrong with this picture, it's totally insanely “Corrupt”! Look, the democratic party was out of favor many elections gone by, way before Congress went “SORRY, Closed for Business”. What you mean I don't know what I am talking about, as Obama was elected by that party. No, the vote went Obama's way not by party affiliation but out of desperation. Can you imagine if Mitt had won, we would all be eating according to “Ann of Soylent Green Gables” recipes, which are part of that “Book of Shit”. You thought “shit on a shingle was for the ARMY”, it would become our main staple, as the 1% dined on caviar and steak, maybe baby kids stolen away from the masses. Look, the 1% faction would eat our baby's if Ann cooked it up. And look, Obama is the President, he takes no sides as he represents “All Americans”. Now when the democratic party was smothered and obliterated out of existence during the Bill Clinton affair years of endangerment, the rules of the road indicated that it would only be a matter of time before the GOP found the same exit stage right strategy, as without them dems, the GOP was toast. It is the way of inhumane nature. So what was born out of this, out of the desperation, it was the TEA-Party. What's missing, the final demise of the democratic party due its cronyism still, along with its trademark lies and cheating spree, it has not seen a party contrary come along to take over but I can hear it on the horizon, that rumble, like an out-of-control freight train coming our way. It will happen, as in time soon it will be the TEA-Party against the FREE-Party. Look, I embrace some of the TEA-Party's “mission” as in the beginning the original signatories of that party held some very good and strong ideas for America. But opportunists hijacked the momentum and set the party on a crash course. See, it wasn't until Palin and Joe the Scumbag Plumber entered the stage did the KOCH Brothers see a ways and means to disrupt a true revolution, by embracing that party and making a move to take over what the party really stood for, which by now has been lost forever. So the FREE-Party is here to take up the slack, and compete against the Flea-Party, I mean TEA-Party. Are not you tired of botox fueled legislation, tired of the Pelosi in-bed-with Reid mentality, then it is time to jump ship and come aboard the “party” ship NOT of fools that finds a single “mission” not yet accomplished, to get this nation back on track. We need not to limit government spending, we just need to police how and where that money is being wasted – it is that simple. We need to reign in the out-of-control military spending, take that money away from the “Masters of WAR” to build new infrastructure, like a “Truckers' Highway” across America. We need to build a multi-redundant underground electrical grid from sea to shining sea and litter the Nevada landscape with “Wind Turbines”. Mass transportation has found its time here in America. We need to upgrade the rail system, for freight transfer and public transportation. These are projects that support the working class, not multi-billion dollar defense contracts that support the wealthy! We can reduce our thirst for hydrocarbons by 15% a year, and by the year 2020, we could see America as the greenest nation on this earth and an economy vibrant, as money spent on the infrastructure instead of the “War Machine” has the potential to make us proud, instead of running us on empty. It is a proven fact that “WAR” has no longer an advantage or meaning in modern day society, as does an overly strong and zealous military, as it erodes and drains the American spirit and finds depression as its fix. We are tired of war, yet spend how much of our GDP on a no-return handout policy? We are tired of potholed roads, yet how much is not yet spent to fix such a mess? Look, keep a few nukes, if we are threatened, give Ted the CRUZ control - just kidding! So we must see to it that another party is able and willing to take over where the donkey has failed, and that is not a hard chore. Yes it is time for the stalemate cronies to retire, as they have not contributed to anything except a circus and crisis fabricated stooge show, wherein today we have a Congress that plays the “narcissism” card for self-centered gains. So join me in supporting the FREE-Party, as we join arms against the TEA-Party, or at least it may be the time for dueling banjos to play in tune, and get something done that helps this nation, not hinder its importance in the form of impotency! The FREE-Party, coming to a voting booth near you soon!

Sweet Baby...

Don't you just love that “Home, Home on the Range” Viagra commercial, where that cowboy is camping out in the middle of the desert, by himself, with his horse and a bunch of  cattle because his truck is stuck in the mud. But for some reason still curious, he takes that pill! “For an erection lasting longer then 4-hours....his horse and his cattle are his only companion”. What the hell? So is Viagra like cowboy candy? Now we all know that cowboys lead a somewhat secluded lifestyle, but how much Viagra do you need just to corral cattle? Something wrong with this picture? Stick'm up may have found new meaning!

"A herd and Viagra his only companion..."

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

What's In A Name?

The Tea-Party has officially changed its name, as entered into the GOP record by Don Young, the Shaffer Cox spokesperson of interest. From now on, in efforts to provide a name that represents this party's “Mission” in a clear and concise format all can understand, it will from now on be referred to as the “Couch Roach” party.

 Couch Roach(Tea-Party) Attacking Obama!
 Couch Roach(Tea-Party) Attacking "Black Voters"
 Couch Roach(Tea-Party) Marching on Pennsylvania Avenue

Couch Roach Party Having Litter

House of Aboo Dobuy

They are NOT stupid or cheap! I am talking the government of Aboo Dobuy that offered only $2-Million for the M.V. Susitna, Don Young's day-dream day-time job wet-dream. OK, I stand corrected as Don passed this wet-dream down to “ALL Alaskans” as he is the Congressmen for “All but the Poor Alaskans”. What a motto! Look, here is a way out for this “Boat to Nowhere Nobody Wants”. We should have the Alaska legislature float a bill so we can hire pirates. Yes, pirates! Give them a wage and a boat so they can raise havoc upon the safety and security of the cruise ships calling on the the ports of the “Inside Passage”. Think about it, “Pirates of the Cruise Ship Crap Passage”. Maybe we can even employ the expertise of Keith Richards, as the “Pirate Extraordinare”? It doesn't have to be real, just a “Disneyland like fantasy, wherein pirates start to attack a cruise ship because of illegal toilet flushing while in “port” and then comes to the rescue the M.V. Susitna. Hey, this “ship of fools” finds a design which follows that of an amphibious assault vessel, so it fits well with this kind of staged saga. And the film industry, it would go crazy over a stage like this, for the “Film Tax Credits” industry, in efforts to show-off another embarrassing moment about Alaska. Yes, it is pathetic as to what comes across the “tube” these days with respect to Alaska. Like the “Ugliest Catch”, “Alaska's Bimbo X-Governor Goes for the Gold”, “Alaskan Drug Dealers Deal Blow to the Politicians”. And those prefabricated “Hate Mongering” shows that highlights the History and Discovery Channel, it is all about prejudice upon the Alaskan Native society. Why the Alaskan Courts allow this type of rhetoric, from men and women in uniform, it goes to show we are a failed state. Yes, there should be no “Tax Film Credit” for hate! And how can those goons in uniform call themselves “Alaska State Troopers”? I can't wait until the next phone call comes in from the “troopers” asking for a donation! I will donate a piece of my mind! But my idea of letting the pirates loose so we could try and find gainful work for the Susitna, my idea has merit. And the entire crew would finally have work, as many have been receiving a paycheck for nothing in return! Look, since that ship tried to leave port down in Ketchinpox, the crew has been on paid “Standby”. Sounds like Congress! We could – that is the U.S. Taxpayers that footed the $120-million dollar bill for this pork boondoggle – we could recoup some of that theft from the U.S. Treasury. And look at the possibilities, as Don Young could finally have a job that must perform something other then utter “Beanie Bag” nonsense. See, he maintains his marine vessel license endorsement, so why not let Don do the driving? See, he has been using that “endorsement” to shipwreck this nation, so is well qualified for this helmsman's position. OK, his perssona fits that of a pirate over that of a law enforcement officer boat captain. Yes, when Don was representing this country, he was instrumental in allowing American liberty walk that plank, allowing a furlough upon what the U.S. Constitution was supposed to uphold. Look, we gave Joe community service for wrecking his ship on Bligh Reef, so why not let Don live out his fantasy, continuing on as a “pirate” for the vessel he wanted but had no future – except as a science project proving that rust still rules. Look every other bad-hair brain idea for this ship has failed, so why not use it for something worthwhile, with this “Pirate” thing? Else, maybe the Army has a drone looking for some action...And while they are at it, why not take out that “Bridge To Nowhere” that Don finally built, that ridiculousness across the Tanana. That “bridge” has no apparent use, accept it is a get-away route for the Tea-Porty that has taken over Alaskan politics with the likes of a Shaffer Cox thug like militia mentality, the coalition that Don signed onto as a signatory – to overthrow Obama. Damn, call in those drones, but wait until the flea-bag monkey couch-roaches are fishing off that bridge....and Don is there visiting his twisted constituency. Off course? Of course, and way off!

Cruz Missile Launched

Wow, wow, talk about a shot across the bow! According to “sealed” affidavits on file with the Canadian Provincial Courts and made available to the United States Department of Denigration, a Mrs. Claudette St. Pierre of Calgary, Alberta, has sworn to testimony that she switched babies on December 23rd, 1970, claiming that Rafael Edward “Ted” Cruz is her daughter's baby. She supposedly performed this switch as she wanted the daughter's out-of-wedlock baby to become an American citizen, as the Cruz's were working in Canada and it was easy to make the switch. According to this testimony of record, Mrs. St. Pierre worked at the RGH, so knew the local medical staff on duty and was given permission to gallivant about the “Baby Wing” without an escort. Which means Ted Cruz is NOT an American nor a bonafide U.S. Senator, so no wonder he is trying to single handedly destroy the American dream machine. He's a CANADIAN! Maybe Ted knows this fact, is ashamed at his heritage and the fact that he is NOT a true-blooded American, so to him it means total destruction is the only solution – to destroy America. That is why he rushed to judgment to deny his Canadian citizenship when it was discovered that he was born out of this country. The U.S. Senate Sergeant at Arms has placed Cruz under a “Citizens-House” arrest until such time a DNA can be performed. This is serious business, goes to show this nation has let down its guard as we have terrorists invading our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. The damage that Cruz has done since he was elected to represent the fleabag monkey couch-roach party of imbeciles – a.k.a. the Tea-Party, it is like the launching of a cruise missile at ourselves. This is a developing story, so stay tuned.....

Alaska Corruption Update

Wow, this is unbelievable! Even though the government is in a shut-down lock-down mode of operation, it still has its finger on the pulse of things. Which may be a good thing. See, I have been using my GCI cell phone way outside its intended “Coverage Foot-print” and have violated the “Contract”, which means the “Butt Heads” can take action – like re-arranging my sim-card memory so the alpha-numeric keypad generated “Texting” message gets all mixed up. Anyway, the GCI “Butt Heads” - name for the technicians that listen in on your conversations by using a hi-tech “butt plug” undetectable by any FBI eavesdropping equipment - well they were not keeping track of my “Contract Violation” spree and this was costing the GCI stock to crater. See, they can't really disrupt my service if they are derelict in their own eavesdropping & spying, and thus must purchase “bandwidth” from another carrier to make sure the “contract” is not breached on their part - which costs a fortune for them as it is sold at a premium. It is part of that age-old law, if you let something slide, it keeps on sliding and the courts will not address the issue, you knew about it and let it go on. So remedy is moot! Just like the Congress of today, the longer they play and we pay them to play, we have no re-course. Hey, not my problem this “contract” land slide with my cell-phone provider! All was cool and I was getting my money's worth from this “Bundled” Alaskan monopoly until the National Security Agency warned the “Butt Heads” about my activity, just a heads up from the “furloughed” questioning how I could be in two-places at the same time. Wow, talk about a storm on the horizon! I started receiving “hate” calls and harassing calls, from the “Contract” administrators of GCI! It was like that department had been invaded by a bunch of wannabe “Sarah Palins”. Really, talk about an attitude of “Thy shat doesn't stink”! OK, so it was s snow-day in Anchorage and some had to go to work! So GCI shuffled my keypad, and when I sent out a text about Cyclone Philian, it came across the wire as Cyclone Palin. Imagine, a wicked storm named after our dear Sarah! I like it when Palin comes alive on the comedy stage, or when we hear she is part of the Traveling Circus, the “Mad Lady with a Russian Brain” attraction. Yes, laughter is the best of prescription medicine. I do believe that part of Obama's “Affordable Health Care” finds a ways and means to keep Palin and the Cruz missile in the news, for the laughter aspect. Anyway, GCI is a shabby business entity, but unfortunately for the voting consumers, the “Telecommunication Regulators” have decided it is OK for a monopoly to rule. Regulation in Alaska, it is just a suggestion, just like obeying an Anchorage traffic light. For those not in the know, this GCI outfit is a “Master Pimp”, and has over time engaged the costliest of high price hookers'n whores, like Ted “Hulk” Stevens. Look, please get mad, as Ted was killed performing as an “escort whore” for the owner of GCI. Some call it lobbying, I call it selling your soul. Remember, every call you make, every text you send, you are contributing to a political process that has made Alaska the laughing stock and branded the “Last Frontier” the “Corrupt Bastard Club” state. I don't need to provide a “historical” of how the Duncan Yo-Yo used his wealth and influence to ruin Alaska's political climate – and today we have the Tea-Party coming out of the wood-work, like couch-roaches on the attack. Look, we used to have a “democracy” in Alaska! Honestly, if it were not for Ted, that yo-yo mon would still be performing tricks in his garage instead of buying up remote fishing lodges so he can wine & dine destiny. And “let me tell you this about that”. See, Ted was run out of town on a bad deal, which culminated with his plane crash death! So sad, as that premature ending could have and should have been avoided. His friends did him in, shoveled the dirt on his coffin while it descended towards rat-hole hell. He was innocent of any wrongdoing, except trying to perform his sworn-after duties as a U.S. Senator. When we compare Ted's track record with that of Begich or MoanaLisa MurCowpie, we see the reason as too why “KY” should be outlawed. Look, Begich used his “Little Runt” attitude to violate and stoop lower then a “turd on the run”, by trying to use his muscle to harass the military brass, because the Tea-Party went upset that the Eielson AFB was closing down and their cushion jobs were about to vaporize. Imagine using the “Little Runt” syndrome to hold up the promotions of our men & women in uniform – to keep the Toilet-Paper Couch-Roach party at bay? Yes he did, used the “Bully Pulpit” to delay promotions, of men & women placing themselves in harm's way to defend liberty, only to be turned down a pay raise because Mark was upset that the “brass” were not telling the truth! And MoanaLisa, she's a “Cowpie”! Look, I was never a real fan of Ted, let's get that point front and center. Especially when in his office in Anchorage many years ago, he made it clear and convincing that he was upset, at the way people - supposedly his sidearm friends - mistreated his generosity. Yes, generosity, because he was adamant that when a proposal was sent through his office and came across his desk asking for appropriations in the form of $$$, that it was a sound investment, that it had no strings attached, so he would go to bat for the requestor. Honestly, when Ted was on this subject of “friendships”, he went verbally upset and I thought he was about to jump out the window. Yes, pissed he was, as he knew all too well that many of trust abused that generosity and used the money for, well personal gains and fun stuff. He made it clear to me, that when the money arrived, it was out of his hands. Especially bothersome to Ted was the money that he earmarked to study the penis size of the Musk-Ox! Who in their right mind...never-mind as the money was abused and used to build a hunting camp. That is what Ted's friends did, I call it grand theft larceny fraud. Ted was trembling when we discussed this subject matter, upset beyond the trembling that occurs when son Ben accepts donations – suspicious loot I am talking about. Like father like son? Ted had a job too do, and tried to keep it ethical and regardless of how his “friends” screwed him over, he still believed he was doing what was necessary for Alaska. He was, but the advantage takers were out for blood, not camaraderie. Ted died, for their sinister.... Yes he was a “whore”, as he was run out of town and needed to do something so found a job with the yo-yo mon. Now what is there to celebrate, as his friends know they screwed him over – like Don Young passing the bad buck and blame for the M.V. Susitna as Ted's baby. It was Young that wanted that boat to nowhere, and now that it is a rust-bucket heap, he tries to throw the blame at dead Ted. Talk about throwing a friend under the bus. This is what we have representing Alaska today – brats! Here is another thing of suspicious interest that needs attention. When did the “Rail-Belt” get natural gas? See, for some reason or another, Enstar convinced those state regulators “Missing in Action” that it needed to store natural gas in-case it gets colder then normal, to “Supply the Rail-Belt”? Another remarkable project we have not paid attention upon, that is about to bite us in the ass – ouch! Here is the take on that matter, huge profits are in store for entities engaged in gas storage, but not from a sleaze-bug outfit like Enstar. Profits can be realized from the entities that produce the gas like “Big Oil”, not some podunk gas company out of Michigan. See, gas comes out of the ground all year long, it is hard to vary that outcome. So in the summer, when gas is abundant because it is used less frequently, compress it and stow it all away in an abandoned cave – like an old oil formation that has a dynamic barrier to keep the gas contained. Then when that cold spell hits, like magic, there is no gas shortage! It basically follows the “Buy low in the summertime, sell high in the wintertime” formula. But Enstar is a utility, that can only hide away so much in profits, I know as I used to work for Enstar and I also worked for GCI, so I understand the ins and outs of these two fine ethical Alaskan corporations. Good laugh, you betcha! Why in hell is Enstar's fathership incorporated in Delaware? If you know anything about the American business climate, Delaware is where “Citizens' United” had its beginning. So this project, it is a “Big Joke” and in the end we Alaskans will pay dearly while humongous profits tiptoe through the Benulips to SEMCO. Yes, Ben had something to do with this mess! See, Enstar used to be a good community citizen, now it's all a front, as the Michigan management committee hates unions but must contend with a union force of able-bodied workers that have the backing from the “Plumbers & Pipefitters Union”. When it was under the wing of the Seagull, it was a very good part of Alaska's untarnished history, before the inception of the Corrupt Bastards' Club – during the Non-Corrupt Bastard Club history era. But corruption gets in the way of decency, as why in hell did Enstar pay Ben Stevens $70k when he was a sitting state Senator. Oh, it was when the senate was on recess, good answer. And I have a bridge, I mean ferry for sale cheap. See, this state has corruption written all over it still. As things political in nature went compromised back then, when the Stevens-Young-MurCowpie clan was trying to mow-over the Three-Stooges dynasty, wherein that success still finds it has a foothold today. Just look at those attending the masquerade party the other night in Felonyville, something called the Mayor Sullivan's Dysentery Dynasty Disenfranchising “We Hate Unions” Ceremony. Yes Bob Penney, need I mention anybody else as this guy was another one of Ted's dearest of friends, and he taught MoanaLisa all about land swindling deals too good to be true - but we are the elite and we have Ted, so go for it! I could go on, and on, and on about how corruption ruined a good thing here in the 49er, but why go there, as all we want is a fix - a clean slate for a chance at a clean state - so our kids can maybe get back a sense of pride, of what Alaska was all about and supposed to be all about. It will take a whole lot of time to clean out the house of whores and the filth left behind, as for some reason that dysentery continues to pave the way for many of today's politicians and there aspirations – to be like Don. They are all whores, prostitutes, pimps, perverts and gang-banger gangsters. Anyway, GCI wants to be my friend, as they reneged on their own contract and now want to buy me out. Amazing, and try to get out of a contract on your own accord and the bill collectors will be at your front door trying to get blood out of a turnip, just like Ted's buddy-fuckers thought they could get away with, by befriending a decent man. They drained the life out of Ted and in turn drained the life out of this state. But it ain't over with yet, as we have a real dismal future with a Sarah Palin leftover, as that guy Parnell, well let's hope he is the ending chapter of a bad scene horror like book, and Alaskans finally wake up and smells the lingering stench of corruption, as it is as rank as a dead corpse! Ted, R.I.P.!

Monday, October 14, 2013

Dear Sarah Palin


Massive Oil Spill - Alaska

A massive oil spill is seeping crude oil into the Beaufort Sea! This is a developing story, so stay tuned!

Map Pin-Points Massive Oil Spill

 Weathered "Pool" of Oil from Seep!
 Seep causing a Lake of Pollution!

Sunday, October 13, 2013


Mitt Romney and his cook unveiled their new “House Plans” to reporters. The old Romney mansion in San Diego will be razed allowing for the new construction, that which just received a permit from the local office of mindless house plans. It was a tough fight, according to Martha the cook, but the Romney's won, and are now allowed to construct their “West Coast” Whitehouse!
Romney's new house under construction in San Diego!

Alaska Pipeline On Empty

Even though the 49’er state has a Governor that thinks he understands “Big Oil”, that is far from the far-reaching evangelistic truth. See, Parnell learned from Palin who learned from Limpdick - GOP suck head - who learned from Bill Allen who learned from Ben who learned from Ted…get my point! Trickle-down politics found bimbos, mustangs, blunders and rested its case with corruption. Look, why did Enstar pay Ben $70k – for Nothing? First and foremost, get it out of your migraine noggin that the price of a barrel of oil has anything to do with anything besides “nothing”. It is immaterial, as it doesn’t matter if oil is $10 a can or $100 a drop, with consideration upon the players in Alaska’s game of “Monopoly”. In a nutshell, it all boils down to that Return-on-Investment. If a company’s board says 30%, the barrel’s cost doesn’t matter. All that matters is the fact that the ROI goals are met, by hook or through crook. Look, how much has the escalation of oil escalated the cost of a gallon of gasoline? If it were in comparison on equal footing, we would all be walking towards work. So now you get it! Now “Big Oil” in Alaska is a very interesting concept, studied by many, understood by few. A science onto its own that has re-written the book on oil profits. To re-emphasize, how to sustain such profits year after year after year for nearly 35-years by now takes guts and “Think Tank” tactics that investigates every nook-n-cranny and interests the imagination and fascination of the brightest of scholars – the “Bean Counters” society. You thought the Skull & Bones was wicked – well Pete’s Wicked One is an Alaskan trademark – it’s the name of a well up north! Blood out of a turnip? Not a problem. And that is why the state has a difficult time trying to comprehend what “Big Oil” is up to these days, as there exists no “BIG OIL –Alaskan Style 101” in print on the bookshelves. Which means every-time the state needs expert testimony, some guy high on testosterone but alone in his thinking finds that he understands Bo Dudley squat crap and the state’s expensive “Think Tank” subject matter experts finds a constipated commission having hangover cramps – as they can only bend over so much. That commercial that you see on the GCI web-site, “Do You Poop Enough”, it was intended for those down in Juneau, and those on the cruise ships! Back to the subject! And since most “Big Oil” information is “stranded”, it isn’t easy trying to grow “Greenbacks” from a premonition – a.k.a. Parnell wet-dream! And how come somebody in the know has not come forward, to spill the beans, say a disgruntled oil accountant? It’s called the “Black Gold” omerta, as “Big Oil” guards its secrets with stealth, treating the caretakers of such wealth with a royal appreciation, so there comes no mutiny on this bounty. Plus, “Big Oil” has an interesting affiliation with the Alaska Superior Court justices, and how they behave in matters before the court with respect to “Big Oil”, anyway. So why is “Big Oil” so successful when this state has failed miserably, as a partner? It started way long ago, with simple things like getting permission from the state revenuers to re-invent the wheel of fortune, with something that had never been tried before, the use of a “decreasing pipeline tariff model”. They were up to something! Basically, tariffs increase over time due the fact as age incites leaks, it costs more to keep the oil out of the corn fields. Sorry, that is only in North Dakota. But here in Alaska, the regulators allowed the owners of the TAPS to settle their indifferences up-front, by a higher tariff so they could recoup their investment to bring “North Slope” crude oil to markets, else it would have been in the same category as the natural gas is today, “Stranded” – along with all those “Confidential” records. So “Big Oil” learned early on that re-writing the “book” was at their disposal and with help from the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, it has become private party policy that cannot even be disrupted by politics. Sorry Parnell, so please go change your diaper! Now when the TAPS owners decided to cut back, by shutting down and remodeling what was left after all those years of unabated profits, in a project called the “Strategic Re-Configuration”, it was for a reason. This is the project that pissed on Palin – the Wicked Witch of the North – pissed her off her rocker which in turn pissed off the TAPS owners, because Sarah thought she could see this project from Russia and trumped “Big Oil” on the costs that could be deducted – for the remodel job as it didn’t include a drive through Botox prescription booth in Wasilla. So when Palin went on the war-path, it cost 35000 jobs on the “slope”, based on that “Think Tank” expert witness testimony. Anyway, this project was well thought upon, one that would deliver that required ROI for the next 30-years. “Big Oil” didn’t need more oil, as the days of 2-million were over with. “Big Oil” was comfortable with a fraction of that, for reasons behind a comfort level with that ROI being an everlasting reality. The infrastructure was paid for in full, basically it was an easy goal without a whole lot of extra efforts to incite more exploration and development. See, the state makes money based on throughput, so that is why Parnell has a nightly wet-dream, visions of filling up the line. It ain’t going to happen, as there comes a ROI point-of-no-return, a point of dimisnishing returns, wherein it goes overboard – harder to shelter the profits which equates to profits “stranded”! So “Big Oil” knows what it is doing here in Alaska. It doesn’t give a rat’s ass about a major gas export pipeline, even though it would love to be able to deliver natural gas for in-state use, to say Fairbanks. Yes they care, and would tomorrow send gas down that small diameter Arctic Fox pipeline proposed by local businessmen in the know, but because Parnell – well he doesn’t know what he is doing. Honestly, if we had a state administration and legislature that gave a damn, there would already be affordable natural gas heating up Fairbanks and every city in-between – or at least a ways and means to get a liquefied portion of that commodity to outlying villages. Just look at the village of Nuiqsuit, and how “Big Oil” found a ways and means method to get gas to the blubba house, where the “Muktuk” was boiled! So “Big Oil” is happy with the present day status-quo, as it has emerged with a solid plan with a steady income for the future, a ROI that makes the stakeholders smile so they can sit back in comfort for the next 30-years, without having to spend a whole lot more to keep this gravy train running. Said again, this hurts the state, but with a Constitutional Budget Reserve of $45-billion – what’s the problem? Look, this state can’t cry baby to anybody when it has $billions$ in reserve! In fact, Uncle Sam should be suing this state, to recoup some of the fraud money sent this way courtesy the Alaska delegation – yes fraud. Why in hell did we need funny money in efforts to measure the penis size of the Musk-Ox? Yes, Mr. & Mrs. U.S. Taxpayer, you did! Now part of the economic comfort level realized by “Big Oil” today in the “Lost Frontier”, it is the fact that the state pissed off its only bread-winner, so it went on the warpath. “Big Oil” was forced to bend over to this state, wherein some asshole from the Natural Resource's Commission convinced the eunuchs in Juneau, that “Big Oil” likes to share? Yes, “we learned it all in kindergarten”! Where in hell did that expert come up with this scary un-realistic scenario? So “Big Oil”, through “Facility Sharing Agreements”, it has become basically a whore, selling off the use of its infrastructure to owners of “Stranded Oil”, sometimes called the satellites, little pools with recoverable oil but “stranded” unless it can be processed through the nearby infrastructure, at a cost that benefits “Big Oil” - imagine that. When oil was first discovered in Prudhoe, did those little oil companies – that are today the big majors – did they cry to Juneau like the producers of today? Imagine early on oil producers telling the state to build the processing facilities, or else! So today these agreements have been shoved down “Big Oils” deep throat. But you mess not with an entity that knows what it is doing! No I’m not talking about the state. See, such agreements which target the Independents, it finds a legal means to make sure those in harm’s way - “Big Oink Oil” - gets rightfully compensated for providing out-houses for migrant workers, as the legislature forced this to happen – started with Palin and when the “Witch” realized she was in over her head, retreated to the John “Insane” McCain camp and we were left with the leftovers – a.k.a. Sean Parnell. And Parnell thinks that these “Independents” are going to make his wet-dream a reality by filling up the pipeline like once upon a time WOW – and since these Cheechako explorers cannot afford qualified workers, yes they dig into the migrant worker pool, herein defined as non-Alaskans! I once retained Parnell, what a joke, he is the epitome of a wimp! He is probably saying I breached that client attorney privilege by telling you this story – said again, WIMP! See, when he was in private practice, he was about the only local attorney that was not on the oil company books, so hung out over in Spenard. Not because of his convictions against such lucrative retainer-ships, he was out of that league. That is why “Big Oil” supports him, as it is better to have a know-it-all then a stow-it-all governor. See, he thinks he knows it all and “Big Oil” laughs all the way to…And that is what “Big Oil” likes, stowing it all away, as there is no rush in getting and pumping what’s left in the Prudhoe Bay field or the Kuparuk field to markets, as in time it will find depletion. In the meantime – it makes out as the ROI is a sound investment strategy. Some call it warehousing. I like to think of it as “Whorehousing”. In ending, we must give credit and salute “Big Oil” for having an understanding of sound economics, especially here in Alaska. Don’t laugh, as those involved in this success story are your friends and neighbors, who believe in Alaska just as much as anyone else. The sad fact of the matter, they have refrained from telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me Ted, as then they could set the record straight. And if so would the state be any better off, instead of a “Think Tank” mentality that has for as many years strangled good opportunities, by not taking on the sentiment if you can’t beat them, join them. But like already alluded upon, “Big Oil” is smart, and does not want to ruin a good thing! So NO, don’t serenade yourself with pictures of grandeur, wherein we see that TAPS filled up and filled out. It means fewer jobs with this status-quo, but we had our “Golden Goose Years”, and now it is time to re-assess our future, to finally come to grips that this state blew it in developing a sustainable jobs infrastructure and we will never again see such an opportunity – had we only listened to “Big Oil”, then maybe that Constitutional Budget Reserve would be safe. Here is what I’m getting at. If Parnell offered up a peace-pipe to “Big Oil”, by reducing the Royalty rate to what the Independents enjoy - 5% instead of that 16% - then “Big Oil” would have to deliver, with increased exploration and production, which would create jobs. But it may be too late, as instead of enjoining “Big Oil” for compromising resolutions where the state and “Big Oil” flourishes, our political climate strangled the opportunity. Look, most of the pumping stations have been destroyed beyond ever working again, it is called the “demolition phase” of TAPS. Early on and along the way, had we found and voted in legislatures that cared, that knew what they were talking about instead of listening to Ben and company, we would not be in this predicament today. We would already have in-state natural gas pipeline to the interior, which would be comforting to the military brass that are today re-assessing Alaska’s military might, because it is getting too expensive to operate here. But the state has failed time after time after time to read the warning signs, that is was supposed to be a “with them not against them” union, and that “Think Tank” chose the latter, which is why we will one day see the CBR henhouse raided and once the berserk break-in occurs, it will bleed to death that inheritance. As we have not learned a single thing since oil started flowing back in the 70s, except we are stupid! OK, we are not all to blame! But there is more than enough blame targeting an inept legislature, and we think the U.S. Congress has failed? When we had scoundrels at the helm, both in Juneau and in DC, the Federal earmarks gave us a “too comfortable” a comfort factor. They screwed the “Golden goose” - a.k.a. Uncle Sam’s U.S. Treasury - in efforts to keep their name, rank and cereal number(Fruit Loops) – all to the detriment of a plan to succeed, as that word was only a suggestion, just like an Anchorage traffic light. We didn’t need any assistance from the U.S. Treasury, just like we never should have started this PFD bullshit. Alaska was never intended to be the U.S.’s Numero-Uno welfare recipient, we still have that image today – even under the Obama stimulus! We had plans, but for some reason the political climate poisoned what we should have aspired upon, self-sufficiency. One day, when the pipe is gone, someone will ask what happened. Then we will see a book in print on the empty shelves in the empty stores in the empty malls, “Alaska – Too Big To Fail? - 101”, and until death do we fall apart, Alaska will be recognized for one and only one reason, that “Corruption” pays….. A fix? Yes, give “Big Oil” a break just like the breaks the legislature has given to the “Independents”, with the royalty rate and severance tax. Kill the PFD program and institute a sales tax. When one drives across America, we see how important a sales tax is, especially for garnishing money to build bike paths, something Don Young hates. And once Don goes crazy from construction activity building those much needed paths and retires to his coconut fame, well maybe this state can get back on track. In the meantime, wow did we blow it! In ending, it takes time, a whole lot of time to clean the “House”. The political corruption that got in the way of self-sufficiency, it is still with us today, slowly going away, but it continues to ruin good opportunities, and sometimes we don’t get another chance! The only way out of this mess, yes we must bend over to “Big Oil” and maybe we can at least see a future with prosperity, something we should have already captured for our future generations to come!