Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind


Beware an "Eyes Only" Site
Stories All About Alaska and More...
Contact the Ghost of Spam McGee
We All Tweet in a Twitter Submarine: @AlaskaChinook
(CopyRight Protected)

~ This Machine KILLS Fascists ~
Solidarity National Anthem
"This Land Is Your Land"

Monday, November 28, 2011

Don Young, Shut Up Again

I was recently under relentless road rage attacks, while driving through conservative controlled country during the time that Don Young was under the influence – from lingering side effects caused by getting hit on the head with a coconut a few years back while lobbying down in Florida. Don is Alaska’s lone-star congressmen, and due this behavior promoting fits of rage against his fellow men and women, he is considered alarmed and cantankerous, so approach with caution. Do not try waving a peace sign to calm things down as the “Don” thinks that retreat means “Target Practice”! Do not try to comprehend, leave that to the TSA. Now these attacks upon my wellbeing, it was promoted by numskull Don’s ego gone wild, wherein he pissed off the “Conservatives” because he pissed on a righteous American citizen trying to opinion true facts of the matter under consideration during a Congressional debate on ANWR. So the conservatives put out a subliminal APB to harass Alaskans, to get back at Don, as it appears guilty by association wins favor. See, with every vote counting these days, even little outbursts can cause a party crash. Wow this harassment, it must work and is cheap political assassination! It meant a whole bunch of close calls, dodging cow pies and all kinds of rotting fruit thrown my way, due the fact my vehicle sports Alaskan “Last Frontier” plates and I was traveling in the lower-48. Enough is enough, as why the hell should I have to suffer for Don’s ignorant ignoramus like behavior? Now in efforts to fend off this truly unprovoked harassment, as I am not in any way shape or form a Don Young apostle, it meant an on the sneak creeping back to Alaska, through the back woods back roads of America. Wow, this is true America, like an Alice in Wonderland adventure. Was it an LSD flashback? No! This is for real. Thanks Don, as had you remained cool, calm and collective, I never would have found this “American Secret”! Fertile like lands embracing a breadbasket of fruits and vegetables as far as the eye could see, then some. So that is what finds meaning by “Free Range”! And people wore smiles! It was truly an agricultural society in harmony with Nature. See, Don and his cohorts in crime – environmental crimes – think preserving nature is for pussies, thus ANWR in their vision is nothing but a wasteland so who really cares if we attack it with over-flowing “Porta-Johns”. Look, when men assemble to exploit natural resources, there comes a whole lot of bull-shit and “thy cup do runneth over”! But here in the back country of America, one can see that nature is something we need to preserve, away from oil development and today's crusade to over developing. With the “Good Earth”, soil and water from the heavens, and the seeds of time still on our side, good flourishes, providing a cornucopia of nourishment. Wow, it is autumn still here in God's country - that sentiment according to the “natural” sign - and the great migration is in full bloom. And a whole lot of these winged ones came back from Alaska, from ANWR, as this refuge still under protection acts as a Serengeti for a very short birthing season. So why in hell do we plan to disrupt this beauty, there or here? Now besides food network central, here before my very eyes was a work of art with the varying colors from the varying species of all living things, from the legged species to the winged resting their wary wings. And the bird life that exists, mind-boggling to say the least, like a never tiring symphony. Maybe herein exists the answer to modern day mans’ future. No chaos around here, as life revolves around the seasons which revolves around fields of gold. And with winter time, it meant a slow down time. As far as my well-being, it appeared that I was now out of harms way, from the previous attacks fostered by my affiliation with Alaska and Don Young's outrageous rage on behaviors - how humiliating an experience that was! Imagine, a congressional hearing rage wherein he attacked decency to the point that it boiled over and people, good American citizens, went on the warpath. And those on the warpath are the conservative right, realizing that when idiots like Don go on the warpath, it derails the entire system of merits. Wow, this is nice. I haven’t read a paper for a few days or listened in to the news, so maybe Young was placed under “House” arrest and that is the reason for the calming. Then again, maybe it has something to do with my where-abouts. Wow, there are all these fruit stands and vegetable stands offering all kinds of fresh and succulent varieties, the bounty's last round as nature begins to dig in for winter. And being a Sunday, it is all on an “Honor System” basis, to purchase this God given resource. Honestly, in this day and age of gang warfare and bipartisan warfare, here in the cornucopia we find people still insisting on the “Honor System”. Wow, fresh eggs for a dollar. I felt bad, so I left 2-dollars! And that rings a bell and brings up a very interesting subject matter. The “Honor System”. What happened to the U.S. Congress with respect to “Honor”? That is in effect what we expect isn't it when these supposedly statesmen with some semblance of home-grown ethics and honor make it to the “House”, instead of the end-around massacre, that affiliation with lobbyists that continues to derail our freedoms. Look at what is coming out of Wall Street, now that “whistle-blowers” are running scared their occupations with the “Occupy” movement. There is an un-written rule that a WS investment meeting cannot allow more then 3-blacks at any given time? And it is well established that any trader that doesn't change party affiliation to that of the GOP, he or she is a trader and gets paid less and is scared into believing that the democrats want to tax the yearly bonus awards. And it is Congress that allows this egregious behavior to continue on, no different that what the Sargent of Arms allows Don Young to get away with. I am sure that somewhere in the rule making book there is something that protects American's from the likes of Don and such outrageous behavior – it is called censuring! But it has become a ship of fools, this “House” and they all defend themselves, because of all the skeletons! We vote the idiots in, then we expect them to abide by some semblance of honor, but that becomes just a suggestion. There is only one thing that the representative body preys upon, a job for life is the game. Look, we don’t ask for a report card before we pay out big bucks for their honor gone missing. We don’t look at the goods delivered before we disperse their pay. And maybe that is where we as Americans have gone wrong. Maybe it is time to hold back paying the representative body until such time they produce. It is a contract isn't it? Maybe they should have to send every voting citizen a report card, and that is where we can rate their performance, thus their pay. Say a scale of 1 to 10, and the average of all ratings cast determines their worth, wherein a 10 gets the maximum allowed Congressional payout, a 1 finds a minimum wage payment. Yes, they will be on trial until they can prove that they have done something constructive. With todays ratings so bad, the money we taxpayers would save, it would help eliminate some of that deficit they allowed, by being AWOL! Yes indeed, it would be nice to be able to use an honor system, but we can see that doesn’t work any longer and even if we did demand something in return, they would just make more “immunity” legislation, behind our backs to protect their interests - which has “In Bed with the Lobby” written all over. Lost cause, it appears so as nowadays an AWOL 112th is all we see. It is nothing short a pathetic slug-fest, bent on no accountability whatsoever. So maybe we need to dig deep into America, to see what is still working for this country. Like this “Honor System” that appears to work, in an agricultural scene that is, that is “Socialistic”, as that is the outcome of a system that works with such “Honor”. But for now, I need to pay attention to road rage, as the honey moon is done with and I am back in enemy territory, thanks to Don, for being so stupid upon his fellow man! And Don, you do work for us as it is the taxpayers that puts bread on your table, don't forget it. And if you disagree, then credit to Tom Delay for teaching you how to disenfranchise American decency and transforming the “House of Honor” into a “House” full of fools, with yours truly a member in good standing!

Something Stinks!

What the hell is that stench? Wow, there goes Newt Gingrich and his entourage in a hurry through the airport, must be body guard generated body odor from his recent engagements and in a hurry to get to Tiffany's – for the “Black Friday” sales extravaganza. Then again, it appears that Newt is walking crooked with a limp, like something is stuck to the bottom of his shoes? Dog crap it is and he is tracking it everywhere he goes. It stinks, this trail assassination of his, left behind for the “servants” to contend with. Maybe that's what he was talking about, that rift about taking a bath and allowing 9-year young kids to become janitors! See, the news' media re-defined this ED out of context, as Newt was complaining about himself with the odor ordeal. Can you imagine this “statesmen” supposedly, once upon a time Speaker of the House complaining about other American citizens “stinking”? People have problems, but don’t use this handicap as a political advantage. And Newt went on a rage about getting a job as he hasn't been gainfully employed since his days as a historian for Fredrick's of Hollywood, or whatever it was that paid him handsomely, in the tune of a few million for nothing. So besides a bath, he yearns for a job that does something for this country, other than rape thy neighbor. But getting paid for nothing? Par for the course with ex-politicians on the loose and on a trail of abuse. I would have to say that incarceration is a bonafide post-requisite for all politicians once they leave or loose office, just so they can re-learn how to contain their egos back to normal. For real, this Newt relationship with FreddieMAC scandal stinks its own stench, just how many foreclosures could have been avoided with this loot Newt confiscated, had it been used on righteousness instead of aiding and abetting the “right”? “Take it with you”, the GOP motto. I hope the Pearly Gate has a tax collector present or a confiscation policy. Honestly, if a single penny ever makes it past the Master, Heaven is doomed. What is a historian needed for anyway, for a federal institute that should survive and thrive not by sending people to the homeless ranks, but polices that American spirit to own a home? So his position was nothing short a scam, courtesy in part the U.S. Taxpayers loot – getting taken again! If Newt thinks he has what it takes to lead this country, we all know what road he will take us down – Doomsday Alley, just follow the dog crap. And what is with this “Red Tag” concept Newt embraces, wherein illegal aliens will be given a chance to stay in America, if one has been here 25-years, has paid income taxes, has not broken the law and is a member in good standing with a local church. What the hell does religion have to do with it? But it is pretty pathetic, with the GOP run for the Presidency contenders. In reality, look at the money we save from not having to buy comic books! In fact with all the available political fodder behind the runners, SNL is thinking about show-time every other night instead of just on the weekends. And if laughter is the best medicine, this phenomenon before us fresh could make Americans healthy again, so stay tuned. Honestly, I can hear Twain rolling with laughter in his grave over what is going down with the GOP candidates. Now what is funny but at the same time bothersome is the fact that these runners are true grit liars. They lie to cover up lies and don't even realize that lies covered up by another lie can only lead to the attribute of a Congressional member. Just think of the “Not the whole truth, so help me God” qualifier for a U.S. Senator then multiply that times ten and you get the true picture of GOP available presidential material. That is why these goons are making waves in the polls, all told together it accounts for an approval rating of George Bush's IQ. Really, “Mission Accomplished” finds an IQ equal to that of a “peon” – measurement impossible. I understand that George is in deep, deep desperado depression, as nobody read his book - his pathetic memoirs - and the fact that Dick Cheney “Dicked” him. I hope Dick tries smoking marijuana some day, as that was his downfall, when instead of enjoying life as a college kid he was plotting against America during the “Assemble Peacefully” Vietnam era, and that is why we have Gingrich off-springs running around with crap on their shoes, as they were never taught to clean up after themselves. I did take a gander at George's memoirs, but every page was “Intentionally left Blank”? Maybe it was a misprint, but is was a signed copy, in Pig Latin! I do believe that the GOP is trying to help George’s approval rating, for history’s sake, by finding numskulls to lead the party. So far they make George a genius in comparison. Now Godfather Cain doesn't have anything to sweat with all the money he is spending to convince the world he is a moron and no sweat not only because he has the taxpayers footing the bill for “Security” detail, as the Congress has come to his aid, with Pizza now a bonafide “vegetable” that can be served at schools - in efforts to eradicate child obesity? Yes indeed, Congress doesn't have anything better to do but must do something to collect their $175,000 dollar salary, so decided to waste time debating the merits of including “Pizza” in the list of “healthy” things allowed in a school lunch program. Congress gets involved in junk food approval because the taxpayers foot the bill for nutrition AWOL from homes. It appears Congress can't get anything right. And then there is Rick Perry, reminds me of roll playing Colonel Kurtz of Apocalypse Now – move over Brando! Romney is living proof that when a man is desperate, try to buy your way to the top. Look, if Romney makes it to the helm, get used to “Minimum Wage”, as it will become a reality. Servants we will become at his beckon call and within reach through class-warfare and freedoms restricted. He must have Hitler DNA! Buchmann, lost for words of advice as nothing could help this fruit-case nut-case. Is she really a member of the Congressional “Intelligence Committee”? And how in hell does she get so much time off her job as a wack-whore and still get paid? Bottom-line, she should have taken a sabbatical, just like all the other members of Congress practice with pay. I feel sorry for her husband, but maybe he is happy, “Freedom at last” on the road again. Sabbatical, yes indeed. Congress is on a paid Sabbatical, as they cannot get anything accomplished, except redefining “Pizza” in the vegetable category. Hey, you got any pizza seeds? And here is the sad fact of the matter. There is a guy named Huntsman in the running but he is getting “zero” traction as that stench attacking decency is the GOP rotting to death. Why you may ask this ignoring? Because he has some intelligence, not that he would garnish my vote, but let’s get real this Presidential aspiration instead of showing the rest of the world more laughter. But it all boils down to misfit politics that over-time by now is showing its patheticness. This party lost, by allowing the likes of Tom Delay and others to disenfranchise the American spirit and destroy all party credibility. The Delay Era was the time when the “Plumber” saw to it that America was not the home of the brave, but the paradise of the lobby-reform-movement and had all his buddies rallied around his lost cause. I hope his buddies, those on that sabbatical or in hiding, visit his sorry ass when the bars & stripes become his retirement time. It backfired and now the GOP is desperate and trying to save face by ruining the other party, and eye-for-an-eye mentality and this comes about at the expense of our kids and their future, which is on hold because of what is happening. In the mean time, fill up on “Pizza”! But the sad fact of the matter, the other party was derailed when Bill Clinton ruined the office of the Presidency, by LYING! Since then this country ends up with individuals not even fit for a position as an ambulance chaser, take George Bush for instance. Obama, well he tells us things that are borderline fibbing, not quite to the “Liar, liar pants on fire” stage, so there is hope. Maybe we all need to be placed in detention, a kindergarten refresher, just so this county can get back to a baseline decency wherein we care about each-other, regardless of one's beliefs. And yes, religion has a whole lot to do with what is going on and down today. Wherein we as Americans once upon a time a nation not of lemmings but of individuals, could awaken each and every morning to not find more and more homegrown turmoil, it stinks. Snake oil medicine at its best utilizing the power of the pulpit to further a segregated agenda has become a ways and means to justify “No” separation, and that is a dangerous proposition. But we find no one willing to take on this domain, a hands off approach it is, when in reality it is time to defend the “Separation” clause - at any expense. If it takes a revolution, so be it. Religion has become the damning factor upon this nation, and instead of nation building, it is destroying decency and allowing this once great nation to slide down the scale, almost to the status of a 3rd world nation with respect to liberties. And when it came to pass, when this nation was at its weakest period, when the Presidential helm was under attack that the pulpit attacked and today we find freedom is at risk. Religion, get out of politics! Politics, get out of religion. To all those preachers, mind your own business. Get a life and get out of our lives and if bored, go pray for sanity, as the GOP candidates need something besides wealth to prophetize their portfolios. For those that are still trying to figure out what the ED is all about? Explosive Diarrhea, defined as opening ones mouth and letting out not intelligent thought, but premeditated hate, and it stinks.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Don Young, Shut Up!

It has been only a few days by now since Alaska’s Congressmen extortionaire Don “Shut Up I’m Right Your Wrong” Young started a fight in the House, trying to duke it out with a genuine U.S. citizen minding his own business. Don went ballistic when this citizen reminded Mr. Congressmen that it is the taxpayers’ that pays out a representative’s salary, when the “Don” tried to act as this citizen’s superior. Way out of line it was for Don and has provoked another “Occupy” movement, called WOODY, for “What’s Occupying Old Don Young? People are outraged over this pirate like road rage, a trait of Young’s, not a real good example to set being a longstanding member of Congress, a genuine abuse of power it appears. In fact, the “Approval” polling officials said this outburst of patheticism by Don Young right before Thanksgiving has allowed the Congressional Approval Rating to slip another 5-points into the weeds, which means the Dunce Clock has hit “Zero”. Now I had to travel across America during the Turkey Day, through ultra-conservative front and back country, and I never had so many threats of intimidation cast my way. And I wasn’t driving a Subaru with an Obama 2012 sticker advertising my preference! People in the lower-48 are angry at Young. People are pissed off over this Congressional member’s behavior, directed upon another American called to testify in good faith – more like a pissed on citizen! Maybe the next time someone is called before Congress to spill the beans, take the 5th, just like occurs when CEOs of large corporations are asked if their corporation paid any income taxes. Look, I had a vehicle try to run me off the road, after a high speed bumper to bumper cat & mouse chase, and when this guy finally passed me by realizing he won the California verses Alaska showdown, he slowed down enough for me to catch his campaign bumper sticker - McCain Palin 2008! See, I have Alaska plates on my car, so it has become a target of interest following Young’s mental state questionable outburst and an affair being used as a hot topic broadcast by the news’ media. And when in line at the stores and checking-out, I get the same old treatment when the secret is out, that I am a resident of Alaska, like people in the lower-48 do not want to associate themselves with Alaskans - like we have a dreaded disease from that affiliation with Don Young as our representative. In fact the check-out person told me to fill my own bags, after he found out I was from Alaska! Now things were pretty quiet for a while, ever since the Palin Follies lost sponsorship, but Don has rekindled the hate upon Alaska, due in part to the cesspool politics that has been an icon of Alaska since Ted Stevens was asked to represent the “Last Frontier”. Bottom-line, when a member of Congress acts like this, wherein he should be sent home and censured until he receives anger management coaching, we see yet another ways and means that a misfit Congress disenfranchises the American spirit. In fact, the Committee Chairperson present during Young’s outrageous behavior, Doc Hastings, instead of trying to remind the now irate citizen belittled by Young about mannerism and “Ethics” when appearing before Congress, the Doc should have slammed the gavel down hard on Young’s outburst. The Sergeant of Arms should have been called upon to arrest Young – for citizen abuse, no different than domestic violence. To try and turn this outburst around with blame upon an American that has an opinion that differs from Young’s about opening up ANWR, it is just another indication that there is a “Bastard’s Club” mentality alive and well amongst the cohorts in crime of the 112th Congress, and in this case, reminiscent of the Alaskan “Corrupt Bastards’ Club” reign. Look, I didn’t vote ever once for this moron Young, but the fallout derails my right to life, my right to liberty and my right in that pursuit of happiness. Don Young and his nasty mentality fosters an interference upon our freedoms, which is no different than a mad-man terrorist on the loose. And what happened to being left alone, with these indecent attacks upon my well-being because of misfit representation? Guilty by association sucks. But this is what we have front and center today with a mismanaged Congress wherein the membership thinks their you know what doesn’t stink, when it is in reality sending a stench beyond decency from sea to shining sea, and they just continue to waddle around pleasantly in their own filth and disgust and as a whole gets worse off than ever every passing day that Congress is in session. It is like Congress in no longer the “Servant” of the people, and instead they take the stand they own us. Pathetic it is beyond real. And had Citizen Caine performed inappropriately by “correcting the record” with Young, Hastings could have found him in “Contempt of Congress”, but that would be a sad day and a tough thing to prove from the way Young was behaving. Young deserved to be talked down upon. So to come to Young’s defense and try to paint Mr. Citizen in the wrong light, Hastings should step down his position. Doc Hastings, like Don Young, both stooges were completely wrong in the way this matter was handled. Wow, someone just pounded my car with a rotten pomegranate. And it looks like there’s a cow pie heading my way. And what do you mean you don’t take credit cards from Alaskans, I need gas to get back home to Alaska where it may be safe? So thanks Mr. Don “I need anger management” Young, for making me a target of your pathetic ways and means that is in no way shape or form helping this country survive, but diminishing its standing in the category of “Trust”, as it appears the concept of trust is today and always was just a suggestion in your book of moral and ethical behavior. Who in hell voted this guy into office, for how many terms of endangerment? Must be something wrong with the polling equipment, or something in the water! So if you are an Alaskan on the road in the lower-48, run for cover and when at a store, use the Canadian “political” asylum gig as a way to distract any further attacks and for reasons at defending your well-being as an Alaskan, undercover!

Friday, November 25, 2011

Clown Act for Hire

Have an engagement or celebration wherein a class-act clown is needed? Call Don Young, Congressmen for all “Rage-on Americans”, for a laugh of a lifetime. For years, Don has been keeping Congress laughing, during sequestered House hearings, especially when the “Rabid Skunk” was present – a.k.a. Nancy Pelosi. And now, Don is coming out of the closet, offering his laughable rage like acting to the general public. Don and his entourage of Clown Aid aides can take issues of national interest on an entirely laughable excursion, especially “History”. So have a Congressional clown of Don’s caliper show up to your kid’s birthday party, and Don equipped with his legendary “Beanie Cap” disgracing America by disgracing the Office of the Presidency can joke on issues of environmental responsibility and in no time flat, pissed off pissed on liberal parents will be taking their kids away, just what you wanted so your kid can have a liberal-free birthday party. Don has the ferocity and gift to use laughter to weed out the liberals! And what is an anniversary without a clown? Don “Coconut Grove” Young, dressed as a statesmen and concealing a tube of K-Street jelly, he can have the women begging for mercy in no time flat. For a free sample of Don’s laughable class acts, just tune into any government hearing wherein Don was invited in as a clown, and enjoy comedy at its best. Book now, as engagement schedules are limited. Sorry, cash only and this offer limited to Republican registered voters only. Bookings can be considered business deductions in-line with political contributions with no paper trail. This is a not-for-profit entity abiding by Congressional rules & regulations that conflict with IRS codes, but who gives a rat’s ass. If the IRS bugs you about any donations to this cause, tell them to eat shit. All proceeds to benefit the Mitch McConnell “Man Missing a Brain” Museum or the John Boehner “Tan Me, Spank Me Booth” Museum. PS: Don prefers “Pizza” at all occasions wherein he is paid for performing as a clown, as he prefers this “vegetable” for a healthy diet! ~

Free Pizza

Now that the U.S. Congress has cast the majority decision that “Pizza” is a vegetable, it is time to take advantage this historic legislation. So write your Congressmen and Senator and ask for a free bag of seeds, the “Pizza” seeds, so you can grow then enjoy the fruits, I mean vegetables, of your labors. Imagine the possibilities this work of art, fresh off the vine, a pepperoni or sausage - even vegetarian delights. Gee wiz, is this what Generic Engineering Effort can accomplish? Or is this just another Dan Quayle “Potatoe” moment! Yes indeed, for the present day representation that costs the U.S. Taxpayers $175,000 per year per seat warmer in the House, whose membership finds more time off for bad behavior then Oliver North, about the only thing accomplished this session was passing a bill that allows “Pizza” to be categorized as a “vegetable”, in efforts that this staple still be considered part of a healthy school lunch program that is supposed to in effect help eradicate kid obesity. See, the taxpayers foot the bill for the “School Lunch” program across America, in the tune of $18-billion each year. So when the inclusion of “Pizza” was about to be banned, the doughboy lobbyist stuffed - not dough - but hard cash down the throats of those in control to make reasonable decisions, so today we find “Pizza” recognized as a “vegetable”. Now when you hear that the approval rating for Congress is at an all time low due in part to bipartisan duke-it-outs, wherein nothing finds compromise, rest assured that when it comes to feeding their fat faces, they can accomplish the ridiculous, with Pizza! In the mean time, kids can enjoy this healthy alternative for lunch and breakfast, as we need more vegetables in our diets to make sure for a healthy America. Yes indeed, the 107th Congress goes on vacation for the Christmas holidays with only two successful votes in favor say ye “Yey” this entire session. Their cost of living increase and the “Pizza” caper. What a job! So even though this has not been decided upon by any representative body except my own free will and in honor of Alice’s Restaurant Massacree anniversary #40 plus some, Hairy-yee, hairy-yee, Hilary-gee comes now this decree declared: “Beer” like “pizza” and being equal in opportunity and benefit likewise, finds itself this day declared a vegetable, as Pizza and beer have a whole lot in common, that marriage made in Heaven, a truly America bipartisan concept aligned as equal for the common cause. Sorry, I can’t help the cost-of-living thing!

2011 Alice’s Restaurant Award

Each year on Thanksgiving and in honor of Alice’s Restaurant Massacree, wherein the story-line finds a true American hero arrested for littering, an annual survey takes place. Like the Christmas Day bird count that tries an attempt to get an accurate bird count through volunteers spread out across America from sea to shining sea, in efforts to access the health of the winged population through numbers counted, this Turkey Day Special survey in honor of Alice makes an attempt to access the litter abuse across our highways upon our byways - since this day finds more travelers road bound than any other day of the year. One year this award went to Budweiser, for discarded cans counted, until it was learned that Madman McCain’s old-lady is the Budweiser Queen, and sales tumbled like a rambling weed lost across the windswept desert landscape of Arizona. And since road side rest areas have become a place for the homeless to hang their belongings, discarded aluminum cans mean income, so the litter is self-policed. Sorry Bud! Then it was the Mac attack litter that elevated Ronald the Clown to the high honors of America’s worst road-side litter enemy violator. It’s really no joke this attack upon the roadside attractions. Look even Raven’s can’t digest this Mac crap on a bun. Have a neighbor that you need to get even with prank wise? Just place a Big Mac on the hood of Mr. & Mrs. Neighbor’s car and let the Ravens indulge, then crap away. It’s a great paint remover and it takes dynamite to remove it dried over and those stains left behind? Forget it! Now diapers made the headlines one year in the Alice’s litter award, but with the economy in the weeds, it appears that this nation’s birthrate has tanked, so diapers lost out this time around. But low and behold, this year’s results are in and the winner is - bum roll please - “Red Bull”. The volunteer count is mind boggling, as it finds enough discarded “Red Bull” cans that paints a sad picture of what Americans are investing in, ingesting to fuel their handicaps. So for those individuals preferring this beverage over stuff that invites a DUI award and tastes like piss, BRAVO. Wait, there’s more. And for those who indulge this “Bull Crap” and at the same time believe that littering away the empty can of caffeine high on Viagra is OK, drink on and throw down! So in honor of Thanksgiving and another successful litter count across America from the mountains to the prairies to the oceans, “You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant. Walk right in its around the block, just a half a mile from the railroad tracks…You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant – except Alice” and Red Bull crap! ~

Monday, November 21, 2011

Nothing for Nothing

August 2nd of 2011 is another historical date that should not be remembered by any sane brain inventory. No, it was not the date wherein Congress was to be abolished, due record breaking approval ratings in the dirt, as they have fallen to even lower levels of mistrust since then. Blame it on the holidays? The 2nd was the inaugural date for the Super Debt Committee following the Congress finally passing a long and over-due debt limit ceiling. And it has been three long months since the bill's inception, and the single priority effort of this committee is supposed to enlighten our Thanksgiving holiday spirit, as the day before we gouge ourselves on the bird and all the fixings, this committee is supposed to have a “fix” for the debt, deficit, lack of taxation upon the wealthy, whatever it is called. Yet low and behold, it appears that this bipartisan bickering committee is still trying to define its own “mission”. Does “Mission Accomplished” ring a bell of patriotism gone astray? But did we really expect to see a compromise from an equal opportunity committee, made up of 3-reds from the Senate, 3-reds from the House, and the same defense for the other side? And all that was heard all weekend long was this horrible outcome of doom, if there came no compromise to cutting $1.2-Trillion dollars away from special interests. Now I blame a whole lot of tensions these days on the news' media, as in efforts to make things interesting to the few souls that still try and keep informed, which means either a link to FOX or a link to MSNBC, since this stuff is boring, there comes this effort to make it exciting. Talk about spin, it is out of control. Here it is in a nutshell, and a realistic bipartisan approach to erasing the woes of too much debt. First and foremost, eliminate all “Corporate” taxes! Just do it, as then there would be no excuses for a pathetic employment picture. If it is the “Corporate” tax burden that is causing a strain on jobs creation, do away with it, or at least suspend any collection of taxes upon corporations to see if the GOP was on to something. It would indeed be a litmus test and it is something that the Mitch McConnell race could indeed shed tears upon with joy, “I did it MY way”! And Grover Norquist could go into retirement. So this doing away with “Corporate” taxation satisfies the Republican ego, it is that simple. Now we have eliminated half of the “Super” committee and they can go back to work, as they have a job to perform as members of Congress – trying to keep the pig sty afloat. With that in mind, since “Corporations” are known to get rebates from Uncle Sam when the “Balance Sheet” is manipulated, thus doing away with the “Corporate” taxation would be a windfall for the U.S. Treasury, as there would then be no need for this “Corporate Welfare”. That would account for an increase of about $600-Billion to the Treasury, according to Phineas J. Whoopee. That eliminates half of the cuts required under law! Wow, we are making headway and nobody is complaining, so far it appears to be a credible cost cutting program. Now this next option is what allows all of us to enjoy across the board cuts, as the “Corporation” has received its fair share, so should the individual taxpayers. Every American taxpayer then has to decide what to give, just like going to church, how much is it worth? Now this may bring out some dishonesty, but all in all, it may provoke some true patriotism, as when one has met the desires, has succeeded in the goals promulgated with life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, what is leftover should be consumed by the tax collectors. So that is why it is not an across the board “Tax Rate”, as everybody's goals are different. If after the 1st attempt at this, if there is not enough to run government, then Uncle Sam passes the hat. Now here is where I get serious to make sure there comes enough income to fuel government. Tax the income from the shareholders of these corporations at a 50% rate! Eliminate all the existing “Tax Code” preferential treatment to “shareholders” income. In this working plan, a model of a new-age system dealing with taxation, a corporation makes money and if there comes no taxation upon that “income” due this new structure, then that money must be continuously re-invested, for new equipment, which creates jobs all around. Yes, it is spent or else! And it could and would support new wage structures. Now any income that is not part of the “Balance To Zero” - the leftovers - then those profits must be stockpiled away, as dividends to the shareholders and before it is distributed, it is taxed at the 50% rate, that is the only responsibility afforded a “Corporation” with respect to Taxation under this plan. And most CEO's get paid through “Stock Options”, as do many of those in the executive ranks when it comes to retirement and “Golden Parachute” type binges, that excess in “Options” will be no different then taxation upon the “Over Balance”. So the American corporations make out, as they will no longer be required to hire creative accountants, as the money saved, it will be re-invested to do what a business is supposed to do, grow. And as a business grows, so does the entire infrastructure. And Americans, now enjoying a bonafide system of taxation upon their own income based on “merit”, after the “Trinity” is accomplished for themselves and family, then the leftovers are sent to the Treasury. See, this works because it is well proven that Americans love to spend, so it keeps the economy bailed out, something we can feel good about instead of Uncle Sam coming to the rescue. It affords us the ways and means to have control our destiny with respect to what takes “loot” to accomplish, be it war or highways. What would you rather pay for, a highway renewal project over here or a highway robbery project in some other country? It is a simple answer when you see what condition our transportation system is under. So if a business must send money outside, it can only end up in one other place, the shareholders, and with this legislation, it will be taxed at 50% and sent directly to the U.S. Treasury. Look, shareholders don't read the yearly statements, so they won't know what hit them. And according to Phineas, this will bring in an extra $2.1-Trillion, which will easily offset the taxation on income for the working class. And since corporations are growing and thriving under the plan, there is a lack of workers, which means a future for this country, as our kids will have something to look forward too, instead of the un-employment line. And without that line, it is even more money for the Treasury's safekeeping. This plan works, for the Corporations, for the working class and it also works for the shareholders. But it doesn't work for Wall Street, and therein my friends exists the biggest excuse for liberty being degraded each and everyday through greed! Tear down that Wall, let's do it sooner then later! Bottom-line, we can not have it both ways any longer, it is US or THEM. But there is a saving grace outcome to look forward too, soon. The Wall is a self-destructive mechanism, we are seeing that occur today and it is beyond a fix, just like Humpty Dumpty found out. The “Wall”, it served its purpose, and we should all be thankful for that, but like anything else good, it must come to an end. And in that end, we will see a new value system arise - For the People - wherein “Honesty” finds itself back in check, as the “best” policy above all to live by!

Don Young & Pizza

Just how can the crooked class stand crediting more crookedness to their portfolio? When is enough, enough? I guess it goes along with to whom one chums around with. Today's Congress-of-Corruption is trying to break new ground with respect to doing nothing and still receiving a paycheck. I am talking the Congress that is supposed to be the ”Servant” for the America people but whose membership from corrupt leadership has decided to become slaves for the crooked that dish out the loot of corruption. For our Senators and Congressmen, it has become an addiction - this Bogyman money - no different then the addiction aroused by “crack”. Look, today the main maiming problem upon America is not low employment opportunities, it is not the fact we have Obama at the helm, it is not due entirely from the Wall Street and K Street influence or from the Koch suckers, but it is the dysfunctional Congress in itself that should take all the blame for a disenfranchised nation. The buck stops there, so when things get out-of-civil-control, look no further for the cause and culprit. It is front and center stage, that ugly face of reality staring us all in the face, once again the ugly face of an “addiction”. Just the other day Don Young performed a 1st class act conniption fit when a well respected historian being grilled before Congress about the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve informed Young that it is the taxpayers that pays his salary. This followed some unintelligible questioning by Young who becomes supper aggravated and road rage furious towards anyone that believes the refuge is other than a wasteland. Just like he gets irritated towards those that believe bike paths are a necessity. Now this clearing the record by the historian provoked Don into a rage that was better then the time he called Pelosi a rabid skunk. Don couldn't take the “Disrespect” by someone questioning his position as “Alaska's Congressmen” and vacated the hearing – maybe due withdrawal symptoms and needing a fix. K Street is where all the pushers hang out, so getting the drugs of addiction is only a stone's throw away from the House. Now that is the common place exit strategy practiced by the crooks when the heat is on and somebody in the civilian ranks has the guts to call a Congressional bluff. But this retreat is practiced all too often nowadays, especially when the approval rating for Congress is stalled at the lowest rating allowed by law. In fact, with the leftist margin of error, today Congress enjoys a “Negative” approval rating. That ranking in itself, like the automatic debt reduction triggers coming your way with the Super-Committee asleep at the wheel, it should mean time for incarceration. So like a bunch of crybabies when they can't get their own way, they can excuse themselves anytime, just so they don't have to face reality, or confront a citizen that is right. The truth hurts! And John McCain performed the same kind of conniption fit during a Senate Armed Service hearing, when he tried to take down Leon Panetta. The Secretary of Defense read McCain the riot act. Sorry no match and soon Mad John was excusing himself, just couldn't take the heat of disrespect from an Obama appointee. And with Young's fit to be tried rage, the Chairman of the hearing, an idiot by the name of Doc Hastings, he tried to instill the fact that those called before Congress must act with manners, trying his best to defend Young. While Young was wearing some ridiculous “Beanie” hat, something proclaiming Obama's energy policy was a failure. Talk about disrespect! Look Mr. Congressman, you cannot have it both ways! Hey Doc, find then fine the PHD Historian in contempt of Congress if he did something wrong, and to come to Young's aid, to side with a moron like mentality wherein Don thinks his age old shit doesn't stink, it is evident that those in Congress should not be allowed to eat! What a waste of the earth's bounty that could be used to help starve off starvation. Look, if a dreaded disease hovered over the House and inflicted an outcome that revealed with living proof that these two faced idiots that swear on the grave of distrust, if indeed the two-faces were revealed and they had to pick one or the other, we all know what direction they would side with. What we have in front of us today is the corruptness gone way beyond return. If I were associated with a gang of misfits that held an approval rating lower then Richard Nixon, I would sneak away to a hiding place far and removed and well stocked by the lobbyist. This is what they do, then continue to practice their “predator” like existence. And when the news' media recently published the top ten family owned “wealthiest” business establishments, guess what, there came a picture of Alaska's Ted Stevens presenting Bill Frist the Senate Majority gavel. His family owns the biggest health-care provider in the universe. And guess what he accomplished during his reign as a U.S. Senator? Besides being voted in as a member of the “Most Corrupt Members of Congress” club by a Washington watchdog association, he payed special attention to changing the rules and regulations so the family business would thrive and he is now in favor of “Health Care” for all. Frist's family owned operation made billions when he held the gavel and continues to this day reaping the benefits of “disenfranchising”. See, when Obama's - the President Who Cares - Health Care plan went into effect, the health care providers saw an opportunity, to profit, not to help! That is why today a flue shot still costs only 10-bucks, as it is subsidized by Uncle Sam. But it costs another 20-bucks to have someone administer the shot. A 2-second chore, which amounts to the hourly wage of a lobbyist. See, they are all in it together. And that is what happened with ObamaCare, the crooks took advantage something that would have been good for this nation. And now that ObamaCare is being tried before the Supreme Beings, if they decide it is un-Constitutional, do you think the prices will ever return back to normal? Of course not, because Congress has more important things to do, like checking their “insider trading” stock option plan or wasting time voting on whether or not “Pizza” is a vegetable! Honestly, “Pizza” was about to find no place on a school lunch program that costs the taxpayers over $18-billion a year, in efforts to eradicate or at least control childhood obesity, by demanding this welfare food program finds more “vegetables” then French Fries on the daily menu. Pizza would have become a no-no. Guess what, now kids can enjoy pizza for breakfast! OUR Congress has voted Pizza in as a Vegetable! With the “stock” option crookedness, there came a ways and means wherein our representatives performed an act that was “insider” trading, for any of us outsiders that tried it, but not illegal for themselves. Why? They make the laws and find convenient loopholes called “immunity”. See, when legislation found in favor of a business or venture or licensing, it meant the stock would most likely surge upward, so the congressional aids made sure that Uncle Ted made out like a bandit. Uncle Ted is the official nomenclature for a Corrupt Congress following its origins from Alaska, as Ted Stevens was a bonafide member of the Corrupt Bastards Club, which had ties to D.C. Let us never forget Ted, not for his accomplishments in Alaska, but for his power of corruption that has made this country a sad state of affairs. This state of mistrust didn't start on Obama's watch, as a strong nation takes years to crumble. So in ending, here are some words of warning – courtesy Bob Dylan - to those that must get up every morning and realize that they were voted in by the people, for the people, but refuse to perform and continue to hold out their hands to the opposition, bribery it is and the result a continued attempt with contempt assassination upon liberty – wherein they seem to be winning: 

Once upon a time you dressed so fine
You threw the bums a dime in your prime, didn't you ?
People'd call, say, "Beware doll, you're bound to fall"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Everybody that was hangin' out
Now you don't talk so loud
Now you don't seem so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next meal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?

You've gone to the finest school all right, Miss Lonely
But you know you only used to get juiced in it
And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but know you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And say do you want to make a deal?

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?
You never turned around to see the frowns on the jugglers and the clowns
When they all come down and did tricks for you
You never understood that it ain't no good
You shouldn't let other people get your kicks for you
You used to ride on the chrome horse with your diplomat
Who carried on his shoulder a Siamese cat
Ain't it hard when you discover that
He really wasn't where it's at
After he took from you everything he could steal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?

Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all precious gifts
But you'd better take your diamond ring, you'd better pawn it babe
You used to be so amused
At Napoleon in rags and the language that he used
Go to him now, he calls you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're invisible now, you got no secrets to conceal.

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone ?

Saturday, November 19, 2011

More Alaskan Comic Relief

I guess we change with age. So instead of getting excited about the upcoming addition of Mad Magazine, like already blogged upon the significance this read, I have found a substitute – Alaskan style comic relief at its best. Once again, it is called the Petroleum News. I don’t know if this is a national publication, but for sure the Alaskan edition is primed with laughable materials galore and in the running to win the coveted Uncle Eddie Award, for doing dumb things with a smile. Just how many gas pipeline export projects are wasting away this state’s future? Look, read Lincoln’s lips: Chapter 15C – Alaska Natural Gas Transportation Act, §719J – EXPORT LIMITATIONS: Any exports of Alaska natural gas shall be subject to the requirements of the Natural Gas Act[15 U.S.C. 717 et seq.] and section 103 of the Energy Policy and Conservation Act[42 U.S.C. 6212], except that in addition to the requirements of such Acts, before any Alaska natural gas in excess of 1,000 Mcf per day may be exported to any nation other than Canada or Mexico, the President must make and publish an express finding that such exports will not diminish the total quantity or quality nor increase the total price of energy available to the United States.” Get it Paul Jenkins! Confused this one man attack? Well Paul at one time was Bill Allen’s side kick for Voice of the Times, another comic. But the Petroleum News comic relief goes into boring detail in almost every edition about this state’s pie in the sky pipe-dream wet-dreams, about a big pipeline idea that has about as much credibility for success as did Bill Sheffield’s train depot. And they placed him in charge of the Anchorage Port? I guess having a failed project named in your honor is vogue here in the “Lost Frontier”. Yes Don Young can boast this fame and lost fortune, for the failed Pt. McKenzie wood chip export run amuk project along with the M.V. Susitna. It appears that in Alaska incompetence with respect to useless projects breeds a lucrative future for some. “Well son, I had a job for life with no responsibilities”! And it is easy to realize that these “Big” pipe wet-dreams will always remain just that, as instead of hiring engineers, most stalled projects are hiring lawyers! I wonder what may be hiding in the shadows. See they gladly excepted the money and have nothing to show for it. So far, all the money wasted could have purchased pipe and shovels and gas would be on its way! So when the Petroleum News goes overboard and tries to instill some semblance of accomplishment such projects, when in reality the only “mission accomplished” is wasted resources, it is nothing short a joke. And it is laugh after laugh, publication after publication from the Petroleum News, with respect to Pioneer Natural Resources’ predicament. This “Independent” seems to be going under with production declines averaging a negative 40% for this year alone, and they just started this venture! Glad I am not a shareholder holding nothing. It's a new oil field. Not really, as the majors walked away from these reservoirs a long time ago realizing it was not worth the risk. There is something to be said about the “Majors” and their thinking! At that rate of lost production, Pioneer cannot even pay for the daily costs of the drilling rig. So instead of sending 20,000 barrels each day to market, the target goal, it is losing ground and daily production is declining - down to a pathetic 4,000 barrels each losing day. And the royalty relief COO wants to place blame on Conoco, for shying Pioneer on water injection? Maybe that is why HailBurton is teaming up with the biggest pipe dream of them all, Great Bear, an outfit that thinks it can punch 200 wells a year into the permafrost to reach shale bearing reservoirs. And all that hoopla in efforts to produce about 5,000 barrels a day? Let’s just ask Phineas J. Whoopee for help, assisted by his 3D Magical Board to access if this pie-in-the-sky pipe-dream risk is worth it, or maybe the possibility it is all a smoke screen to woo the politicians – those that continue to get a failing grade on “Resource Economics 101”. It would cost about $2-billion just to poke the holes. And with the price of crude less production costs, royalty and fines for having to ship it down the only pipeline available, it will take about 1000 days to break even, or about three years, but by that time the production will most likely die down, less income. So we have before us just another “pipe-dream” romance which is in reality a “ridiculous” endeavor. And Yukon Pacific finally released its ownership of the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline ROW, as the original corridor was designed for two pipelines. See YP held the Right-of-Way along the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline for many years, in hopes that one of the major’s would become interested in a natural gas pipeline, that was 30-years ago, still just a pipe-dream. Look, as it was once explained, natural gas is the enemy to “Oil” companies, as it is a marketable commodity out of the ground. Take a Coleman stove to a gas producing well and in no time flat you can boil water, which means this commodity has very little hidden cost opportunities. On the other hand, crude oil has many, many loophole adjustments, so convoluted that when this stuff finally makes its way to a refinery then cooked, manipulated and regurgitated to motor gasoline, it fetches in excess of $230 dollars for a single barrel of the raw product, which is fetching about $100 dollars per barrel on the open market. So the “Big Oil” guys do give a rat's ass about a gas pipeline, as any gas taken away from the field, it hurts the bottom-line, that of crude oil exploitation. So don’t hold your breath waiting to hear something positive about any of the so-far failed Alaskan Natural Gas pipeline projects. Now Great Bear’s Duncan is quoted; “Our objective is not to waste the molecules. Not one BTU, actually, will be thrown away”? Dam, I’m laughing so hard the air molecules are reacting and out of control, akin to crude oil about to flow out of ENI's flare stack. Sorry migrating whales – it will only hurt a little, just shy away from that dead “krill”! But getting back to the “Alaska Natural Gas” export limitations, or ban. It's a show-stopping reality and not a single politician has made even a whisper over it. I guess with these scoundrels, the last laugh is on us! So if you are interested in some humor, about what is going on with all the fruitcakes thinking we need to extend U.S.A. Route 1 from Prudhoe Bay to Norway, read on the Petroleum News. But the true bottom-line, it is not a joke! These projects were blessed with failure from inception. And the other sad fact of the matter, the individuals behind keeping these things alive and well and furnished with cash, they should know better. But why spill the beans, as it may mean it is time to find gainful employment, instead of a cushion like job that wastes away this state’s future, has “zero” responsibilities assigned and most likely a Christmas bonus is an automatic, for the camaraderie and more importantly, the demonstration of Silence! Shoot the messenger? How about paying for the truth to be sequestered!

Head Cheese

Rejoice, rejoice, rejoice.... as once again Alaskans can fly the friendly skies. This is the 1st flight in a long time coming wherein I wasn't asked by an outsider something about the Wicked Witch of the North. See, Sarah Palin's ratings have busted through the thin-ice and permafrost, headed straight down towards hell's canyon, or low enough that it provides for an uncomfortable reign on the throne she was getting so comfortable upon. She's cooked! Time to get comfortable on the “Crapper”, it is all that's left! With that, outsiders are finally coming to grips that Alaska isn't about witches but other things more desperate for attention, like the wildlife and asking why it costs so damn much to fly in and out of Alaska, stuffed into a tin-can like fuselage with less room than that enjoyed by stuffed sardines – unless fortunate enough to enjoy 1st Class accommodations. Hey, more room but you still have to breath fart infused air with all kinds of germs, just like everybody else! Now planely speaking, it takes approximately 9 rows of proletariat class seating confiscated to fulfill the requirements of 1st Class accommodations. That’s 54 vacancies to afford the luxury of elbow room for the privileged, a class-war ratio of 3.375 to 1. Basically speaking, it amounts to 5-square feet of leg room verses almost 17-square feet of freedom, that’s ¼ the area of a Queen sized bed. For the rest, it’s about the size of a pillow - compressed! And free liquor to boot comes to individuals fortunate enough to enjoy all that extra real estate – most likely enjoyed on someone else's dime! Flying gives me that “Head Cheese” feeling, like maggots infesting the gray matter as it has become a hassle and not because of the TSA's presence. It is what occurs when through security that irks. How much for a coffee? Is there a leak in the men's room or is that puddle under the urinal collateral damage? And of course every flight is filled to the gills! An extra seat for a mom traveling with a baby? Not a chance, as fuel costs dictate this pack'm in frenzy. And how much profit are the fuel producers making? And how much taxation did they squander away to freedom with those lobbying loopholes? The scale of equity equality is totally lopsided today in America, the reason we see the likes of the TeaParty movement and protests by others with intelligence attacking the crooks' kingdom – Wall Street. Realize this fact of the matter. When a plane lands, the preparation crew can get their chores done before the plane’s passengers debark. That’s because passengers of today no longer believe in “checked” baggage and the fact that the compartment above gets over-crammed, it confuses the response mechanism which amounts to a whole lot of wasted time as passengers look for their goods. The “look alike” bag syndrome is the culprit. See, when the airlines started charging for baggage, it started a revolt, the carry-on revolution. Which goes to show that we still have stamina. But in this case, time isn't money as it costs a whole lot of extra time nowadays trying to free the belongings come touchdown. The weakest point on a plane these days is that “compartment”, from over-stressing. I always get a kick over how the compartment doors are slammed, I saw one pop off the hinges, by some little old lady using force like there was no tomorrow, determined to get her belongings stuffed away. And the flight attendants used “Duct Tape” to fix it. Way to go, FAA approval on high. Then there is the “Fragile” stuff, good luck. I was on a plane once when the over-head compartment started dripping something, when taking off. No it's not jet fuel! It was a water bottle that had succumbed to the over-stuffed sardine syndrome. Now Alaska Airlines has this gimmick, your baggage delivered to the carousel in 20-minutes or less or else. But it’s a win-on-win situation for the Eskimo Man, as once again it takes longer to debark then it takes to take-off. Just the other day as I was traveling proletariat style and trying out the sardine costume's fit for Halloween, when we landed there came a problem with the front door, so the only way out was through the rear, down some stairs and into the Seattle weather - wind blown rain. Now when this was discovered, there was actually an attempt to allow the 1st class out first, from the front of the plane to the rear, ahead of everybody else! But when the proletariat class heard this ridiculousness, the crowd assembled took on the demeanor of the OWS. All said, the privileged class had to wait their turn. I sometimes get to fly in the over-extended real estate domain, not by choice, as it sometimes comes automatically because of the mileage program I have membership privileges upon. When I do get an “Upgrade”, I try to pan it off on a troop in uniform, as they are usually stand-by and end up with a middle seat. But that “Good Samaritan” offer doesn’t go over well with the ticket counter. See, I could start something that freaks out the privileged class. In actuality, most of the 1st Class seats into and out of Alaska are taken up by oil field workers, because of the mileage they accrue between home and work. That's what you get when the outside workforce has to pay no state income tax – freeloaders galore. I have an idea for bringing extra loot into the U.S. Treasury! If we can have a “Fishing Pole” tax courtesy of Alaska’s Don Young, why not an airport urinal tax? What do you mean it’s already taxed! If you knew all the hidden taxes that the proletariat class pays, all the hidden burdens, you would flip. When is the last time you saw one of your representatives flying the proletariat class? Never, as they don’t fly the friendly skies in an over booked over stuffed tin can but opt for the lobbyist plane that is conveniently headed back to their home base. I see it all the time as my place of employment allows the enjoyment to see this class above all class act played out, at a private hanger. The N number on the wing gives the secret away. One can track a plane's owner, its origin and destination. So when you see a plane that flew non-stop from D.C. to Fairbanks, you get the drift. Really, ask MoanaLisa or “The Don” or Begich when the last time they tried to stuff their ass in a seat sized “small” but shrunk to extra-small from getting soak and wet from baby pee? And that little replica of Air Force 1 that shows up, its not the President! Your Senators and Congressmen book flights that cost $55,000 dollars for a round trip extravaganza. Hey, Mark Twain was so right on about this nation's true crookedness. I have come to the conclusion that some dad’s have failed the mission. Especially here in Anchorage, as during a most recent trip when my plane landed I decided to utilize the People Mover to get home. See, Mayor Sullivan can waste a whole bunch of loot hiring a misfit to lobby his Prevo like agenda and waste more loot to host the Mayors’ conference, but at the same time the side-walks are filled with new snow on top of old rotting snow never removed, ice, rocks, deadly junk from broken vehicles, used condoms and what looks like medical waste – bend-over gloves and used fix'm up utensils. Honestly, you don't have to carry a weapon these days in Anchorage, just look down at the sidewalk for something to beat away any Jerry Prevo perverts on the convert bandwagon. Now the fact that Sullivan would rather waste money on his image instead of providing a safe pathway for pedestrians, it is proof that Mr. Sullivan failed to teach his son “Brotherly Love”. I am serious this matter. Safe sidewalks should be a priority over image, as this mode of transportation exists for that class of American’s left behind, for those that must rely on “Public Trust”, I mean “Public Transportation” to get to work and back home again. Safely maneuvering about the Anchorage sidewalks is a chore when this maintenance goes by the way-side for other “classless acts”. Honestly, this guy nauseates me and a whole lot of others. In fact the main reason people are moving out of Anchorage is because of Mayor Sullivan, as under his watch the city has become the “Murder Spree Capital” of the world. And the same reason people are moving out of Alaska, due Governor Parnell’s incompetency rating. Alaska used to be a good place to grow. It appears that Palin changed all of that as she inflicted a wound that may be on the mend, but the fallout of her “Drill Baby Drill” mentality, her incompetency and worthless agenda, well it will take a long time to recover and get back towards what this state really stands for - the “Last Frontier”. But if things continue down the same path, may as well replace that slogan for the time being with “Lost Frontier”. In the meantime, I can see my baggage whirling around the carousal, but I'm stuck still on the plane, as that “Duct Tape” won't pry loose, and nobody is going to cut the line ahead of that little old lady! Hey Alaska Airlines, how about extending that 20-minutes or less to get the passengers off the plane? But as we all know, baggage is more important, just ask any Alaskan politician!

Friday, November 18, 2011

Presidential Petition

Dear Mr. President Barack Obama;

15C §719J “Export Limitations” was in-acted as law to protect this nation’s interest. Please do not allow any dereliction upon this “Law” or changes that would allow Alaskan North Slope natural gas to be exported. As the present “Law” dictates, you must see to it that any exports “will not diminish the total quantity or quality nor increase the total price of energy available to the United States.” By allowing exports, in time that loss can only amount to higher prices – due lose of a commodity. Alaskan natural gas from the “North Slope” should remain “Stranded” until such time it is piped through Canada, as that country is exempt from the “Export Limitations” realizing that gas will fuel America’s needs. We should not allow exports outside the “Law”. Please take this under consideration should you be asked to lift the “Export Limitation” by Alaska’s delegation, or through “Special Interests” or through any request by the Governor of Alaska.

Respectfully Submitted, B. Dawg

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Cab Driver

The evidence is in, conclusive evidence at that! Conclusion upon this rude awakening discovery? Alaska’s legislators are afraid of an Alaskan Natural Gas pipeline ever becoming a reality. Don’t laugh, as the truth behind this coward like behavior hurts us more than you think. And this evidence gained credence following the latest boondoggle get-together - a.k.a. political junket - which came to be in Fairbanks, where the “In-State Gas Caucus” made up of fool-hearty state legislators along with local business buffoons and a few misfit mistrusts from the regulation side of things gave themselves a pat on the back, for the usual, nothing accomplished. That George Bush mentality of “mission accomplished” is alive and well amongst Alaska’s legislative body of ignoramuses. See, Fairbanks becomes a Mecca for political junkets - a.k.a. hideout for the CBC membership - come the “tourism-is-off” season, as hotel prices drop through the roof but the per diem allowed stays the same, so politicians can profit from this getaway. And they can no longer get away with this free-for-all in and around Anchorage, and the hotels in Homer are bugged, so until such time the complaints come rolling in, Fairbanks makes out. Now back to this Alaska Natural Gas pipeline dream. This so far “mission accomplished” has wasted away a whole lot of valuable resources, in the form of funding which translates to Alaska’s future going down the drain. But there is indeed sound reasoning as to why the present day representative body is truly afraid of a natural gas pipeline ever getting built to deliver North Slope gas to a viable market. It shouldn't happen, and it won’t, not on their watch or any future watch even though they are using this “Dream” as political clout – called “capital” to keep the constituency interested in “PIPE DREAMS”, which equates to votes come erection time. “Dear kind voters that voted for me last time, and the time before that and time before that, please vote me back into office again, as we are still working on a natural gas pipeline project for “All Alaskans” which means millions of jobs coming to a community near you”! Now anyone that gets a PFD should be familiar or at one time another heard the term “Stranded Gas”, as that touchy phrase became a convenient scare tactic which resulted in everyone believing that we must do something to let this commodity escape the “Stranded” status. That was the seed to fuel how many ridiculous pipeline projects? Honestly, with all the loot spent so far on all the so far failures, there could have been pipe in the ground had that loot been directed away from the crooks and turned over to the proletariat sector – the laborers. So once again it has come to pass providing more failure fodder for the Alaskan history books, all the wasted efforts to build a gas pipeline, here to there to everywhere in between, yet we still see nothing that even resembles a natural gas pipeline heading south from Prudhoe Bay. No pipe has been ordered, which takes at least 5-years once it is decided upon what size and quality is needed. Let’s face the facts Mr. businessman, you just don’t drive over to Home Depot with a truck and load up. And that goes true upon all the ancillary equipment and machinery required to pump something to somewhere. In reality, “who dat” afraid of the “Big Bad Wolf” has found an answer, once again it is this state’s legislative body. Read my lips, they are afraid of a Natural Gas pipeline. The same body of nincompoops that see fit to waste $-millions on facade like studies. See, it gets back to the “Stranded” thing. If North Slope gas ever finds itself subject to a compressor in efforts to take this energy to market, well guess what else becomes stranded? The oil! And the oil companies that have been pumping oil down the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline for 30-years plus, they have built into the “oil” tax code a very convenient incentive. Here it is in a nutshell. Oil companies don’t like natural gas! Don’t laugh. Natural gas sent topside is a commodity that needs no refinement, it works without any manipulation. Take a Coleman stove out to any producing oil well and the separated gas could easily fuel your desires to have a hot cup of tea, in no-time flat. But the oil that came out of the ground with that gas, it is worthless, until such time it is manipulated into a fuel. Crude oil is “black, gasoline is clear and you don’t accomplish this just by adding FDA approved food coloring! Now along the way from the well-head to the refinery gate, there comes available all kinds of opportunities for additives, not in the form of gasoline type additives, but in the form of “added value” costs associated with getting this black goop to market. So that is why the oil guys like it, as it is very easily manipulated which helps the bottom-line end result. With natural gas, it is very difficult to add hidden costs. So if a natural gas line did come to fruition, any gas that was taken away from the “Oil” leases, it would leave “oil” stranded, an ultimate Catch-22. See, all the gas that comes out of the ground up north, it is re-injected to set-free the oil. So when you hear the In-State Gas Caucus raving about their pipeline pipe-dream, think twice. They have been dishonest this endeavor, making it appear as though they are concerned about high energy costs to their constituents. With that, money is approved again and again with each passing budget approval to study the feasibility of a gas line, wherein critical time-lines come and go, legislative sessions come and go, and more and more money is wasted to keep the studies going. Yet we are no closer to a natural gas pipeline today then when the 1st stick of pipe for the oil line was covered over. It is the typical project that grabs momentum and grows out-of-control Casey Jones like, except with a Bill Sheffield mentality at the throttle. And there is another disturbing thing that all Alaskans should come to grips with. According to laws enacted along the way, Alaska natural gas from the North Slope has “Export Limitations” on the law books right now. Laws that require a U.S. Presidential “Executive Order” in efforts to allow this valuable commodity to leave this state for another country. As the yet to be amended law stands, it can be exported to Canada or Mexico, but nowhere else at this time. And there is not a sitting U.S. President that would entertain changing this law, just too much of a gamble nowadays. Why? Just read the LAW. And taking into account that any export contracts would have to be long term to gain favor an export limitation ban, if a contract was signed and approved tomorrow and on the day after there was a national disaster declaration, the contracts could be null and void, and no businessmen would offer a potential buyer a contract with a “Force Majeure” clause embedded so. Which means that natural gas from the North Slope can only be used in state. Something all the politicians have been very quiet upon. See, now that Trans-Canada has become a lukewarm proposition, because of the glut of natural gas in the lower-48 due “Frac” work, there is no interest in a pipeline from Alaska to the states. For those interested in the LAW as it stands, here it is: Chapter 15C – Alaska Natural Gas Transportation Act, §719J – EXPORT LIMITATIONS: Any exports of Alaska natural gas shall be subject to the requirements of the Natural Gas Act[15 U.S.C. 717 et seq.] and section 103 of the Energy Policy and Conservation Act[42 U.S.C. 6212], except that in addition to the requirements of such Acts, before any Alaska natural gas in excess of 1,000 Mcf per day may be exported to any nation other than Canada or Mexico, the President must make and publish an express finding that such exports will not diminish the total quantity or quality nor increase the total price of energy available to the United States.” Now I have learned something from modern day politicians, even though they are supposed to be our servants well paid. When they have not an answer or would rather not give the correct answer, they retreat and enjoy the AWOL status. So all efforts to get a reading on this LAW with respect to the “Limitation” clause has gone without an answer. Why, as it is a very simple law? It's the influence of that “Big Bad Wolf”. And the fact that the “Stranded” issue has repercussions, wherein it is estimated that a world class sized Alaskan natural gas pipeline would so destroy the North Slope enhanced recovery oil production, it is estimated that the existing tax incentives that “Big Oil” would enjoy would trump any natural gas profits, basically this state would lose money when and if a natural gas pipeline becomes a reality. The only saving grace gas line remains a small diameter line feeding Fairbanks, as the amount of gas required to heat homes and fuel the local military bases finds a volume under the radar, so it would have no real effect on tax bashing and do what this resource is supposed to do, help the citizens. Visions of a “Big” natural gas pipeline delivering for export, it is not in this state’s best interest. Look, this state’s political body and bureaucrats are not being honest with us. Or, they are stupid and don’t understand the economics of necessity, and are inventing a facade of “Trust Us” to get the voters on their side, allowing for the justified spending a whole lot of loot that seems to be heading us “of record” in the wrong direction with respect to this “Stranded” gas for export. And then when someone realizes what all of this really means, it will become a litigation nightmare, and more money and time will be wasted away, because the politicians were stupid upon this issue. So here is the synopsis this fear. If you want the whole truth and nothing but the truth, ask an Alaskan cab driver what is going on, as at least the ride they take you on is genuine!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Alaska Sell-Out

Dear Fellow Americans;

I bring this concern to all true Americans’ attention, as help is needed and only you can provide that help by taking a stand with me upon this dire concern. The state of Alaska is desperate for cash, which has alarmed the sitting governor – Sean Parnell – to the point that he wants to give away the farm. The fallout of this pursuit fostered by desperation will have devastating consequences upon this nation – unless we resort to “We the People” power to intervene. When natural gas reserves were losing ground on the supply side of the well known “Supply & Demand” equation down in the lower-48 states, the Presidential leadership looked towards Alaska as a saving grace option, as Alaska has stored away a treasure chest of what is defined as “Stranded Gas”. Basically speaking, since oil started traveling down the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline back in the late 70’s, the natural gas that comes topside with crude oil extraction has been re-injected for future endeavors – like bailing out the states when energy woes cause havoc. Now during those 30-years of oil development and exploitation, the state of Alaska has enjoyed a decent share of the profits from oil feeding the states, income for supplying the valuable feedstock to many refineries up and down the West Coast. At one time, Alaska supplied 25% of America’s daily energy needs. Over 30-billion barrels have traveled south from Prudhoe Bay, which has allowed the state of Alaska to realize a dividend giveaway for its residents, plus money to do just about anything - like proposing “Bridges to No Where”. But at the same time this wealth was filling the coffers and fueling corruption in politics – a.k.a. Alaska’s “Corrupt Bastards Club” - the state spenders went foolish and spent a whole lot of loot on ridiculous type projects that did nothing in efforts to help develop a sustainable jobs infrastructure. So that is where the desperation stems from, as the “sky is falling” with respect to income as oil production is slowing down and the present leadership has not read the writing on the wall. And during these years wherein Alaska was the top oil producing state, it still relied on hefty Federal handouts that were way above and beyond any other state of the Union – that is what happens when a state has powerful Senators and Congressmen writing the appropriations legislation. So with so much “pork” heading from the U.S. Treasury to Alaska, to fuel foolish projects, with the debt crisis upon “All America”, Alaska has become desperate and realizes the only way to keep it going like the “good old days” is by selling out America’s future. So I call on all Americans concerned, as Alaska is more concerned about the bottom-line then the future of America. It is time to voice a concern to President Obama. And herein exists the problem that provokes this concern. As it stands, there are laws, rules and regulations that prohibit exporting Alaska’s North Slope natural gas to foreign markets until such time the President “publishes an express finding that such exports will not diminish the total quantity or quality nor increase the total price of energy available to the United States”. 15C §719J “Export Limitations” was in-acted as law to protect this nation’s interest. But now that the state of Alaska legislators fear the honeymoon is over with, to what was for a long time unlimited loot from oil production taxation, they have called on the governor to sell out the resource to foreign interests - like China maybe. This sell-out is being accomplished without regards to the law that prohibits such transactions abroad. And to make matters worse off, the agencies involved in this secret endeavor, they understand it all too well but are hoping to find some way to skirt the “Export Limitation”. This gas from Alaska’s North Slope should remain “Stranded” and used only for America – that is the “LAW”. Some day this gas will be needed, and to sell it abroad just so Alaska can continue to bask in wealth and still see a pathetic jobs infrastructure unfold, it isn’t worth the effort. America needs to wake up and call on Obama or the next sitting President to never allow Alaska’s North Slope Gas to find permission to leave us behind. Now is the time for all “True Americans” to voice a concern over Alaska’s attempt to sell out this nation’s future. Write the President or use the below enclosed letter to help stop the Alaska sell-out!

Dear Mr. President Barack Obama;

15C §719J “Export Limitations” was in-acted as law to protect this nation’s interest. Please do not allow any dereliction upon this “Law” or changes that would allow Alaskan North Slope natural gas to be exported. As the present “Law” dictates, you must see to it that any exports “will not diminish the total quantity or quality nor increase the total price of energy available to the United States.” By allowing exports, in time that loss can only amount to higher prices – due lose of a commodity. Alaskan natural gas from the “North Slope” should remain “Stranded” until such time it is piped through Canada, as that country is exempt from the “Export Limitations” with the realization that gas will fuel America’s needs. We should not allow exports outside the “Law”. Please take this under consideration should you be asked to lift the “Export Limitation” by Alaska’s state or Congressional delegation, or through “Special Interests” or through any request by the Governor of Alaska.

Respectfully Submitted, American Citizen John Doe

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Lost for Words!