Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind


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Monday, March 31, 2008

Brown Bear

OK, some fun news from Juneau, Alaska’s capital murder capitol and origin of the Corrupt Bastard mentality. Really, the way the representatives murder this state’s constitution and find ways to murder the permanent dividend money for “crap”, it is very close to murder. And when Ted or Don or MonaLisa show up to give words of advice, the idiots on the “Hill” take it all in with a smile. The Three Stooges - at least Ted and Don - should be banned form giving advice. Why? They are under investigation for giving advice! And what does MoanaLisa have to offer up as advice, accept if it is land swindling we are into. Why is it called “permanent” when the politicians control it? Murder: To spoil or botch, as in performance. Anyway, House Farce Bill 387 stipulates that a telephone utility may distribute only one set of phone books to a household each year. It is referred to as the Big “Berta” bill. Wow, don’t the crocks down in Juneau have anything better to do then worry about phone book distribution and the waste from such when trashed doesn’t help at saving landfill space? Accordingly, Representative Berta Gardner has this pet peeve about coming home and finding at least “nine” phone books stacked up at her front door. And she feels guilty for having to trash the address books. “If I throw them in the trash, I feel guilty. By golly, I am going to do something about it”! Whoopee do-dah. First and foremost, each phone company is in competition, as that is still allowed under the ways and means of commerce. So each company publishes a phone book. As a paying customer, each and every one is allowed the white pages on top of the yellow pages. And when you consider that there exists about a dozen phone companies in and around Anchorage, all somehow or another using another’s infrastructure, this bill would allow not just “nine” of the 5-inch books to stack up at each household, but more like “24”, so shut-up Gardner! And get this. I don’t ever read the phone books. It is just as easy nowadays to look up a phone number on-line, as long as one is hooked-up to the Ted Stevens’ tube central. If you are not, ask Ted for a handout. Anyway, when the books show up, I take them to the recycle place. In fact, when the books are distributed, the recycle outfit guys place an entire dumpster for the yellow and white. By the weekend, it is totally filled up. So, if guilty, just take the “crap” to the recycle place. In fact for politicians, it is a great place to mingle with constituents, as long as one is not a republican. Rumor has it that republicans would rather not recycle but fill up the dumps. See, landfills are becoming an alternative energy source. Yes indeed, years of phone books are breaking down and supplying methane gas at rates that are affordable for electrical generation. So, either way, landfill or recycle, what is such a bother that it requires wasting time with supporting a new house bill? So I will continue to throw the yellow and white to the recycle guys. And I continue to use my computer to find a business address, or keep an update on friends and relatives’ phone numbers. And with quick search capabilities, it is really easy to no longer rely on a phone book for addresses or phone numbers. And what is with the phone books anyway? The damn font is so damn small it is discriminatory for the aging. In fact, maybe I can go hi-tech and get one of those phone hook-ups on my computer, through the on-board modem and initiate instant dialing. In fact, I think I will surf the Internet for available software that offers everything I need to make address files and capable of auto-dialing my representatives. Hey, I like to support Alaskan made and sold products. And what is this? Just what I was looking for! There is this outfit called Brown Bear Software. It is a local outfit that provides programs wherein you will never have to open up a phone book again. Just throw the white and yellow out back and someday you can generate electricity. So maybe that is what is behind this House Bill authored by Berta. Go hi-tech and forget the waste of time letting your fingers do the picking no more. Hold please, I have a call coming in on my computer. It is Mr. Phineas J. Whoopee. What’s that Mr. Whoopee? According to the 3-D BB Berta is the manager of that software company? No wonder she shows an interest in the Farce Bill! See, stupid me, as I thought it was something good for a change. I guess it is, depending on your position. Ban the phone books and then we will have to buy that software. Imagine that! It is only $35-dollars a pop. Like it has been said over and over again in Juneau, somebody’s pain is another one’s gain. Now this House Farce Bill 330 has me worried. It would appoint a state coordinator to fight invasive plants and “noxious weeds”. Well I must admit something of interest, as I cannot tell a lie. Last year I traveled to the Brooks Range with at least a pound of prime dandelion seeds. That means millions of the little jewels. I distributed them north for at least a hundred miles, from the Endicott mountains to the confluence of the Sag River headwaters, in the low lands where there is good soil and water. Soon the tundra will be filled with yellow blossoms. See, I know the Denali Commission continues to waste taxpayers’ money each season by hiring people to pull the “yellow” weeds from in and around Denali National Park, so the “weed” won’t propagate north. So instead of letting nature do its thing on its own accord, that evolutionary thing, or at least trying to do its own thing on its own but with interference from dandelion haters, I became Johnny Appleseed. Hey lets face the facts. Dandelions have taken over Anchorage. There is no way to stop these beauties from becoming the state flower. And imagine the tundra for miles and miles around bursting with yellow dandelion blossoms. We may be able to start a wine business. In fact, when the seed blossoms are in full bloom and the wind blows, just imagine how beautiful it will look? Like a summertime snowfall. So sorry, as I like dandelions. And I remember singing this song - courtesy of Donovan - as I drove between the mountain ranges letting go my treasure, distributing the ballerina like seeds here, there and everywhere;

They call me mellow yellow, quite right.

They call me mellow yellow, quite right!
Born high forever to fly.
Is gonna be a sudden craze.
Is bound to be the very next phase.
They call it mellow yellow, quite right.
I’m just mad about her.
Oh so yellow, oh so mellow.

CopyRight 2008 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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Sunday, March 30, 2008

Blueberry SPLATTER

OK, with Ted Stevens’ every move under the watchful eye of the Federal Bureau of Investigation AND Internal Revenue Service, maybe it means that honesty can find its way back to self-police spending away the Treasury. What surplus? That honesty thing for a long time was part of ethics, but every time renewal laws of ethics comes face to face before our representation, it is more of the same – nothing! So the word honesty really gets the point across. Except Bill Clinton banned that word through an executive privilege order. See, we were supposed to save for that “rainy day”, honestly speaking. We didn’t. The cost of the Iraqi war is crippling the economy. Its been going on now for 5 long years and John McCain would like it to go on for at least 95 more years, to make it the 100-year war blunder. So a vote for McCain to run the White House means by the end of the blunder, 80,000 kids will have been rested at Arlington and 600,000 will know what it is like to live a life crippled, statistically speaking. Sad, all around it is. And the fact that congress likes giving itself a hefty pay raise each and every year for work that is nothing more then grand theft arguing, no wonder the economy bailout will be inherited by the middle class working heroes of this nation - thy meek! Maybe with the present state of affairs, a pay decrease should have been instead. Just like in the real world of work ethics. One must prove one’s worth in efforts to be considered for a promotion or raise. Hey Congress, who does your performance appraisals? There is no freebie in the private sector. That is what irritates me along with a growing majority of the taxpayers. How can stupidity be such a common denominator when it comes to doling out money from the Treasury for “crap”? Now in Alaska, a lot of that loot that was supposed to be saved for that “rainy day” now upon us ended up padding pie in the sky projects that were most likely the brainchild of Bozo – basically originating from joke central. Take the amount of money that was slated then wasted during this war time spent on “berry” research. Right here in Alaska, the “Corrupt Bastards” state. First and foremost, the berries that grow in Alaska belong to the bears and mice. And the bears can have them. I have been here for many years and not once have I ever said “good stuff” to that purple “crap” that is preserved in a fancy jar. It tastes like mold, it has this yuck like texture, unless it is overwhelmed with a sugar fix. Purple sugar is all it amounts too. Bottom line, if you want jams or jellies that are the real McCoy just like grandmother made, go to the local Fred Myers and buy some decent stuff. If you prefer the organic stuff, it is available from the Cascade isle. Anyway, we start these projects that sound good when exercising our elbow reflexes but in reality it is most of the time wishful thinking. This state has failed at designing and implementing an infrastructure that is solidly self-sustaining. The fishing resources have been taken over by rich bastards out of Seattle. The oil was always a lost cause in our return on somebody else’s investment. So in efforts to catch up with the rest of the country, this state relied on the Three Stooges to bring home the bacon. I am talking Ted, Don and Frank. Now to keep it all in the family, Frank gave his failed position to MoanaLisa, his daughter the real estate expert. For a “penny” she was taught the rules of the land, basically rules are for others to obey. So as this state approaches statehood anniversary, just what the hell has billions of dollars spent done to warrant a berry industry? NOTHING. Sidebar: How come the “Honey Bucket” still exists? Now according to those that benefited from “pork” central giveaway programs comes this. “Wild berry harvesting will create thousands of jobs representing many millions in rural community revenue. The net result will be the transfer of millions in revenue directly to local Alaskan economies and the harvesters and landowners who provide the berries. Our company will create well paying, long term jobs”, all according to the spokesperson of some outfit called Denali Technologies. What kind of joke is this? A sick joke. And this is what was broadcast at the ribbon cutting ceremony for this fly by night outfit that received money from Ted, while Ted listened to this fraudulent speech about job creation. Millions in revenue? Thousands of jobs? I can just see it now in the statistics page of the Alaska Journal of Commerce, berry picking as the industry that employees the masses! I wonder if minimum wage rules for pickers? Maybe those that think they have a good idea should listen to the experts. When I lived in Valdez back in the late 70’s, an interest brewed about blueberry cultivation. The berries that grow in and around Prince William’s Sound were bigger then what could be found in the interior. The sugar content was higher, so these little blue devils tasted near and dear to the real thing, a blueberry! But an old timer cautioned this about that. He convinced interested parties that the culprit to a good crop was “mold”. With the right conditions, a good crop can be devastated to destruction, overnight. And it happened, just to prove this guy’s point. So the berry industry found failure just like the barley project. Wasn’t it mold that cancelled that project out? It was just like when Alaska spent all that money to bid for the winter Olympics back some years ago. Had we won, it would have been an embarrassment, as that particular winter we had hardly any snow. In fact dog crap made for bigger accumulation on the ski trails. And the old-timers warned us about that also, both the crap and bad snow. They were right. So it is hard to research just how much money has been wasted on this berry revival crap. And this excuse that Alaskan berries contain this whooping amount of antioxidants? Well you have to eat 4-Alaskan sized berries to equal a Maine blue. So what have we really gained with this childish advertisement, NOTHING again. It is all pure bull-crap. See how we progress? First came the crap, for Phase I project money. Then came the bull to continue down the road to ruins. To end, pure unadulterated “Bull Crap” that wastes away the Treasury. So when I see that the Fed.’s - through the kindness of Ted, Don and MonaLisa - continue to feed the pursuits of waste through secretive rituals to give away the taxpayers money and swear that it is their money to give away, I am speechless that these idiots have no idea what the Constitution was all about. Or freedom for that matter! So when I hear that money for berry research continues to invade the Treasury, I just want to have a good crap and remember to flush the “bucket” twice, as it is a long way from my home to their home. Oh, one last thing. In efforts to make berry picking meaningful, at least a road system is necessary. And where can one find a better place to pick berries - roadside wise - then the Dalton Highway? But I wouldn’t eat a berry grown anywhere near the pipeline right-of-way. Why? Yellow rain. See, all the human crap that is generated at a pumping station is supposedly incinerated in the hot exhaust of the pumping station’s turbines. But it doesn’t work all that well. So the crap is mixed with water and finds itself fertilizing the tundra, for miles and miles around a pump station – for 800-miles along the limited road system. Maybe that is why the berries grow so big! So I was concerned and amused when I saw berry pickers last fall along the highway in close proximity to the airborne “crap” source. And then we have the pollution from the Red Dog, where berries grow in mass quantities. Healthy? Think again. So this brainchild of the berry patch reminds me of another great project, called Auto-Genius, wherein some guy came up with the idea to squish a persons brain, in efforts to relearn things that had gone forgotten, another failed Alaskan pork fed project. But maybe now with ethics missing and the Corrupt Bastards part of Alaska’s culture, that brain squishing project thing finds revival, with plenty of crocks to test it out upon. So when the amount of money spent on useless projects, like for berries and not to forget the money spent to research the penis size of the male Musk Oxen, we do have a bumper crop mentality? Take that back, maybe more in tune to a bumper crap mentality, especially with those individuals that take for granted Ted and Don’s money bags. It is my money you are wasting! Oh, by the way, all that dog crap. Well it gets freeze dried over winter then mixes with melt-off and ends up at Point Warzonoff. From there it is discharged into Cook Inlet, just about the time the salmon are returning. Now remember, salmon stop eating when they enter the rivers. But when out in the inlet, they gouge themselves on that last supper. An old timer told me he would never eat fish that swim up the inlet, as that ain’t berries those fish are eating. Beware tourist! One other thing. The best berry patches close by to Anchorage proper were found at the BLM Campbell Tract area, off of Abbott. It was over growth from an old homestead trail. There existed blueberries, cranberries and rose hips, all for non-commercial pleasure picking. Not anymore. See Ted sent some pork this way to get rid of spruce bark beetle kill trees, in efforts to keep the Tazlina Hotshots working all winter long. Why? Because it is no longer a government entity but went privatized. So it gets pork to get by and we get porked again. To hell with selective harvesting as the woods were raped down mow me over fashion, just for dead tress, all because Ted didn’t do his homework once again, and again and again. And this year, again because Ted went haywire and sent more pork this way to police dead tress, Alaska made it on the list, once again, as to why American’s hate Washington! Accountability, maybe acceptance of such is as difficult as getting rid of the “Honey Bucket”. Bottom line, Alaska spent a good portion of that “rainy day” surplus for “crap”. And we have nothing to show for it but a scorecard of failures. How do I explain that to my kids’ kids and future generations, those that will pay dearly for waste not want not politics gone wild. Part of the buddy system I guess. A wind farm in Delta? Anything that relies on the Denali Commission for funding is just another failure waiting to happen.

CopyRight 2008 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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Friday, March 28, 2008

TONY Baloney!

OK, so Tony wants your vote on Chugach Electric Association’s Board of Directors upcoming election, running as a challenger against the incumbents. Those up for re-election engage the mandate of the consumers. Basically, we want our money’s worth. Tony has aligned himself with some organization that advertises “Save the Coop”. I am still dazed and confused with that approach. So let us take a fantasy ride back in time to maybe shed some light about this guy that would like your vote to represent you with respect to electrifying matters. Tony was a transplant sent up to Alaska back in 99 when Seagull Energy sold out its interest in Enstar, Alaska’s very own natural gas transporter. Tony worked for SEMCO, Enstar’s new owner, a Michigan based natural gas supply company. Now Enstar was a time tested “good citizen” business that served the Anchorage community well over the years, since 1954. Things were a little different up here, so things were done a little differently, a carry-over form when this state was a territory. One of the things that the “old” Enstar regime insisted upon was not shutting off an individual’s natural gas supply in the cold of an Alaskan winter. No gas, no heat! See, many of the “seasonal” delinquent accounts came from the dwellers of the trailer courts. Many of those hard working Americans relied on seasonal work, so the wintertime was a sad time for their personal wealth. So come summer when the road and construction work picked up, Enstar would get paid. Late, but the payments were made. What’s a few thousand when we are talking millions in revenue? It was one of those “un-written” mutual agreed upon things that made Alaska what it was at one time, a great state missing political corruption. But that changed when SEMCO came along. See, SEMCO had a mischievous past and was under scrutiny by the Michigan Regulatory Commission, for ripping off the customers. So when Tony showed up, things were beginning to change at Enstar, all dictated from a Michigan like boardroom greed-be mentality. Notice how much your gas bill has gone up over the past 5-years? And this was all in efforts to make more money. Here is what happened. Many of the wells in Cook Inlet were drilled when subsidies were available, from both local and extended government handouts - in efforts to sustain an industry. As it meant jobs. Add to that, it meant low cost energy for Anchorage and the Kenai and the Matanuska Valley. There was plenty of low cost gas to go around for years. Then the producers went greedy. Most of the old wells out and around Cook Inlet are “grand fathered” in, so it means forever low cost gas. The producers weren’t happy with the fact that they were loosing money hand and foot as all new gas discoveries and deliveries are tied to a “hub”, so it brings in a windfall. Enstar leadership knew about this, but it was profit everybody was after. So the producers started capping off low-profit wells. This had a tendency to strangle-hold the system, until new wells could be tapped, ones that were tied to the “hub” and would no doubt bring in the windfall. And Enstar was all for this. They could have sanctioned the Alaska Regulatory Commission that this was not fair as they knew all to well the health of the gas reserves, from historical contracts. And through eminent domain taking effect, this state’s residents could still be paying a decent cost for gas to heat our homes. But greed begets greed. See, the more costly gas is, the more Enstar can charge the consumers for transporting that gas. It is based on value, so as gas value increases so does the transport cost, and that is how Enstar makes money. It’s like increasing your insurance coverage. Enstar doesn’t own any gas, this company only transports it to your door. It may sound odd, but that is what happened as everybody looks for a way to break over even. Anyway, things like this don’t just transpire unless an entity has people in high places. SEMCO was a little fish in a big ocean when it comes to the energy sector. But not to worry, as money buys friends and influence. Tony found Ben Stevens! That is why Ben Stevens was paid thousands of dollars to do nothing but be a member of the SEMCO board of directors, all this happening when Tony was at the helm. And Curtis Thayer, a long time friend of the Ted Stevens, Don Young and Frank Murkowski team, he became Enstar’s company spokesperson. If any singular business was infiltrated by the “Corrupt Bastards” affiliation, it was Enstar. And let us not forget these little tidbits. Enstar cooked the books for a wannabe amateur independent gas producer that was late on getting its own gas fields producing. Really, this outfit had contracts but no gas. The system of inputs and outputs was manipulated to represent that gas was flowing through wells still valved off, in reality there was nothing flowing – a big fat zero! Not a big problem? Think again when the weather went negatively cold one January. It was in the dead of a cold winter’s night wherein the pressure in Enstar’s pipeline went critically low. Why, because the wannabe had no gas! But it looked as though there was gas available, according to this wannabe’s customers’ demands, big commercial users like the Anchorage School District’s schools. The gas should have been shutoff and the schools shutdown. Why? Not enough gas! But not to worry as Tony knew what to do. It meant Enstar had to purchase gas from another provider, at a premium, for its own consumers, you and I. And in the end, this gas cost you and I an arm and almost a leg as “premium purchased” gas is very, very expensive. In commodities exchange, it is called “Backwardated”. And with so many cold spells each and every winter, it is probably more of the same. You and I pay for it. That is the unfortunate thing, as it is not our problem to begin with. But when a regulatory commission is aligned with political factions over the consumers’ benefit, we pay as they play. I am willing to bet that the screw-ups are confidently and confidentially added to the overall cost of gas, just like what Sears tried and was caught when it was loosing money due to bad credit and added a smidgeon of a percentage to each and every paying customer. One would never see it, as it was not a bothersome amount to gain attention upon, even though the fact that you were being robbed existed. And when Enstar was under Tony’s watch, the Office of Pipeline Safety under the U.S. Department of Transportation levied fines against Enstar, for falsifying reports. Several times this occurred, when its pipeline operating pressures were exceeded and not reported because the pipeline controllers on duty didn’t have the qualifications to even make Jello mold correctly. In fact, the DOT approved test to qualify operators to control a high-pressure pipeline - like in the Enstar case - the results were also falsified, as the test takers were given the answers before the test! This had never happened before in Enstar’s history. Why again? It was a local business with local bosses, true Alaskans, that were running the show instead of letting it be run for ruin by outsiders that had board rooms infiltrated by Alaska’s own crocks – for a handsome fee. Tony should have done his homework and realized that affiliating Enstar with Ben was bad business. So why anyone would vote to put a transplant with a past affiliated with Ben on a board is truly un-Alaskan. And with the anniversary of statehood so close, maybe it is time to look back upon our past and see where we went wrong, with the likes of Ben, and all the other political crooks that had infiltrated the system of righteousness and hurt us, and cost us. Vote the CEA board true Alaskans that know what it is like to be ethical and know to whom to stay away from. In my book, Tony’s bid to un-seat “Knights for the Consumer” is truly Tony Baloney!

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Alaska STATEHOOD Contest

Alaska Statehood Contest
Enter now for the Greatest Alaskan Contest of the century celebrating STATEHOOD! No purchase necessary. Entries restricted to registered voters of the state of Alaska or their family members. Open to Republicans, Democrats, Independents and TSA members. Contest entries with respect to this contest are time sensitive, as the first participating entry with the correct answers will be judged the final and exclusive winner or the winner will be judged from the most correct answers received. In the event of a tie, the coin toss elimination will be the preferred method of choice. All entries must be sent to the Contest Headquarters post-marked on or before July4th, 2009. Winner to receive 1,000,000 Tax Freedom dollars!

Contest Question#1: List all failed projects here in Alaska since statehood that have utilized Federal funding, either in the form of grants or appropriations - earmarks included. Dates of failure are optional. Funding amount is also optional. All that is required is the project name.

Entries should be sent to the following address:
Alaska Statehood Contest
510 L Street, Suite 550 or 580
Anchorage, Alaska 99501

Remember, win 1,000,000 Tax Freedom dollars!

Contest not open to Ted Stevens, his staff or family. Contest not open to MoanaLisa or any other member of the Murkowski family including Maggie the elephant, or MonaLisa’s staff. Contest not open to Don Young, his staff or family or any Billy Goats acting as humans. Contest not open to VECO employees. Contest not open to registered lobbyists. Tax Freedom dollars consist of thistle-seed. Other seeds may be substituted at the contest director’s discretion.

~ This Joke Approved by BOZO ~

Heavily Backwardated

Life! One should learn something new each and every day, so some age old time tested saying guides. So for I, it was the word “Heavily Backwardated”. Now “Backwardated” isn’t found in Webster. Fortunately, it is found on Wikipedia. Accordingly: “Backwardation is a situation were the cash price of a commodity is pregnant with a premium a buyer is willing to pay, for having the immediate delivery of the commodity.” It must be a practice of British intelligence, and another word for the “squeeze” play. In fact, it is exactly what the management of British Petroleum - the uppity-up business unit managers - used to allow the company employees to “corner” the propane market back in 2004. So what, that was 4-years ago and BP has more pressing issues to contend with, like un-maintained pipelines in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska. Pipes that are leaking black goop onto the tundra. If that is not enough, dealing with the aftermath of that refinery fire down in Texas that cooked to death 15-workers. All of this could have been avoided but the company is under pressure by the shareholders to make as much money as possible by pumping as much hydrocarbons as possible in efforts to inflate their individual withholdings as high as possibly profitable, and letting maintenance be not a bother. And it is only tundra and a few human lives at stake! It is called the “money” line in the oil business. Any pipeline that is making money, it has no time for down-time. Keep it pumping is the sentiment from the boardroom. Anyway, British Petroleum is now under fire in the U.S. District courts for actions that are forbidden under the Sherman Anti-trust Acts. During 2003, a group of British Petroleum employees working here in America - turncoats - were practicing how to corner the propane market. The monopoly game trials showed that it could be done and with the blessing of upper management, the plan went to work. By cornering the market, the price of propane realized an increase of 50%, in two months time. Now most of this propane was sold to an outfit that filled bottles for consumer use. It is what trailer courts use. So it hit the poor people, those that have no say. It meant pay up or have a cold house. It worked, until a pipeline explosion uncovered the scheme, as deliveries under contract could not be made. When the smoke cleared out, it meant jail time for several of the employees, as they were caught red-handed on taped phone calls, as all trades are recorded per the Commodity Trades Commission’s rules and regulations. The employees knew their conversations were being taped. The upper managers realized that when they banned the word “squeeze”, it was also recorded – as if they really didn’t give a rat’s ass. Hey, it was only the poor people that were harmed by this outrageous behavior. And the employees involved were set to collect a handsome bonus. And by cornering the market, the shareholders were also to benefit. What am I getting at? It is this simple. Many years ago there was an oil giant called SOHIO that had prominence in Alaska. In fact, the weathered outline of the company’s famous logo can still be seen at the base camp in Prudhoe Bay – warn out but noticeable. It is a company long gone, as it also was caught in the monopoly game and awarded that card all game players despise, “Go Directly to Jail”! And it was British Petroleum that was allowed to buy all of SOHIO’s assets after the Fed.’s said dismantle Rockefeller’s success story. So it is interesting that British Petroleum now finds itself under the same criminal activity scrutiny. So when the crane shows up at the BP towers in mid-town Anchorage to tear down the embarrassment, I will be there to clap and cheer it down. Just like when the VECO sign was torn down, BP’s neighbor! Hey, talk about a teardown meltdown, what is with Ted Stevens. Why do I bring Ted into this, because it is Ted’s inability to take the side of the American citizens over that of big business that allows companies like BP to practice atrocities against the poor. The poor have very little say. They have no protection. It is the same thing that is choking the poor that finally thought that dream of owning a home of their own was that American dream come true, only to realize that it was a scam all the time, another “backwardated” attempt to monopolize. Sad thing, as all chatter of a bailout from the Fed.’s continues to side with the crooks. It will not help those heading to the homeless rank and file. Just the other day the Fed.’s bailed out Bear-Sterns, an investment firm that was over weight with failing ARM mortgages. Why? Because this firm had taken the bait and invested in the Carlyle Group, an outfit that took advantage once again of the poor. And guess who owns the Carlyle Group, the Bush dynasty. More like a dysentery disease in my book. Anyway, Ted was elected the bum of the day on “Why We Hate Washington” on Abram’s MSNBC show. Because of stealing away from the Treasury money to study blueberries! When one looks at the “blogs” and prime-time shows that pester Ted’s ability to be ethically responsible as a Senator, how can he continue to do what he thinks is right but is so wrong? Bottom line, companies like BP get away with murder, price fixing and pollution only because they know they can, as they have friends - or fiends - in high places. In Alaska, when one looks at all the corruption that VECO played itself into, that company was being directed by someone higher up with a motive. Maybe is was BP, as to spend time and effort to corner a market, it seems as though it is a mindset that corners the entire company’s mindset, and ethics is just “backwardated”, pregnant with greed wherein we all must pay while others play!

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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Virus of TED

I was out surfing the other day, it was awesome. A big hulking wave sent me adrift and I found myself upon the deck of a pirate ship. It was the U.S.S. Ted Stevens. I was glad for the ship ahoy, as the waters were becoming murky and a cesspool like odor germinated about. And the surrounding cloaking fog, like it was a good place to hideout. OK, I was visiting Ted’s official “U.S. Senate” website. It is always interesting to “tube” Ted’s entertaining internet, as the photo opportunities give an indication of what other crocks this Alaskan senator continues to align himself with. I can’t get up the nerve to say “my” senator, even though I reside in Alaska – extraordinarily known as the “Corrupt Bastard” state. That reference is in disrespect to the political state of affairs. See, Don “Billy Goat” Young – this state’s lone star congressman – believes that his constituents are those that voted for him and only represents such. Anyway, on the pirate’s web site there is this gang bang picture of Ted with Dennis Hasters and Bill Frist. Both were known to be henchmen, one for Cheney and the other for Georgie Porgie. Members of the “Masters of War” fan club. Anyway, Ted’s site has this new link called “Earmark Requests”. It is supposed to be a means wherein the “earmark” boondoggle rip-off can be openly scrutinized so the practice of closed door negotiating can be monitored by the owners of the money – we the taxpayers that knowingly and unwillingly supply the “earmark” pork, beans and can! According to the senator, “This year, in an effort to shed light on the appropriations process, Senator Stevens' office will post all of these requests on his website for the public to view.” Now what is interesting about this new found tool for the concerned righteous citizens is the fact that there still exists a way to squander away my tax burden – hard earned money siphoning – without “earmark” requests made public. The senator in poor standing with his constituents continues with, “Note, a request form is not required for a constituent to make a request for funding. Some requests come to the Senator via letters or phone conversations with the Senator’s offices. In addition, the Senator makes requests to the appropriations committee based upon his observations when traveling around the state and talking to constituent.” Talk about a crap response to manipulating the system of checks and balances! This is as “closed door” loopholing as it can get. It seems a “fart” could be considered a request. So I decided to check out the site, to see who and what illegitimate outfit was gutsy enough to use the system for a freebie “grant of no return”. Now I have no quarrels about approaching the senator for a loan with reasonable payback, but this grant crap is totally out of control. Why? No accountability because there is no payback for the paycheck. It is welfare. In fact, why do true blue republicans complain about welfare when all the time the most powerful and senile representatives are the ones that support welfare, called appropriations? And appropriations have this drawback, as one-third of the money goes to make a rich bastard richer, through over-inflated salaries that again relish no accountability. It sucks. And if our representatives were in-line with Fed Chief Bernanke, wealth would be taxed to the hilt, as it doesn’t do the economy any good if it is stuck in an offshore haven. It has to be injected back into the economy. See, middle class working heroes - we are - support the economy. Most of our disposable income goes back into the mainstream. The hording by the rich is what continues to cripple the health of the supply and demand equation. Enough said. Good luck Mr. Bernanke. So low and behold, most of the pages accessed on the senator’s “Earmark Request” link were blank! Rather strange. Is this some kind of office joke played out by the senator’s staff? Really, every time I wanted to view a request, a blank page appeared. Then I found a page of a request that sent my computer to the unknown zone. That familiar pop-up appeared. “WARNING: You are entering an unsafe zone. Some attachments could pose a potential virus threat to your computer, files and programs. Caution should be exercised before continuing!” Now this I assumed was the typical response, as my computer has the latest and greatest of security protocol. I cancelled the security warning. Hey, I was networked to a senator’s home page! What could be of a concern? Then it happened, my computer was hijacked. In fact, I lost total control of the keyboard. Reminded me about total loss of control upon my hard earned tax dollars. Could this be a joke I asked myself again? It seemed like it. And then my computer started shutting down and starting up, all on its own accord. In fact, during the boot-up, I swear I heard someone laughing over the on-board speakers. For crying out loud, it sounded like Ted himself. I guess I was “marked”. Finally, when my computer recovered, I decided to inform the senator about the problem. No, not from my computer! I’ll go over to the coffee shop and let the senator abuse one of their computers. So I sent him an e-mail, asking about the virus and also asking to provide the “earmark” requests for the last 30-years that he has been in office, along with all phone tag “earmark” requests along with all requests made during his trips, especially during the Penny Kenai River fishing classic held every year at the taxpayers’ expense. Damn, the e-mail system kept telling me that Ted wasn‘t my senator? It is based on location and zip code. That is why it is almost impossible to send an e-mail to a senator from a different state, unless you use their own address! It works. They don’t even know it. But this state doesn’t have boundaries, with respect to senators! There is a catch. See, I live in a section of town wherein liberals homestead, and pick up their dogs’ doodoo. Basically, they obey the law. So, it looks as though this voice was “crapped” upon once again. My computer was never the same. But I must take the blame. See, I didn’t read the “fine” printed material on the instruction set of the senator’s “Earmark Request” link. “All content in these requests are provided by the requesting entity. On individual forms, personal information has been redacted. This is to ensure the privacy of individuals who work on the behalf of a larger entity.” So that is why the pages were left blank, creative use of the legality of “redaction”. Blank us out is what it is all about. So the process continues to be abused. Always was and I guess always will be. Democracy? Hypocrisy? Maybe lunacy!

CopyRight 2008 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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Thursday, March 20, 2008

U.S.S. Donald Young

Monday, March 17, 2008


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Freaky FERC

I wish the All-Alaskan corruption sweapstakes would finally come to an end here in Alaska! It takes away from things that are important. Maybe instead of spending more money keeping the FBI gainfully employed, how about an amnesty program? If the bastards come forward and admit their guilt without having to spend more taxpayers’ money, there can be a discount incarceration. Exceptions? Ted, Don, Frank and Ben. In fact the FBI boss is complaining that it is hard for this branch of government to do the job required of it following the 911 attack, as the Alaskan corruption case is running the resources thin. Imagine that, all because of homegrown terrorism! Anyway, “After he took from you everything he could steal” is a great verse from one of Bob Dylan’s great musical sermons, “Like a Rolling Stone”. That “he” in this case could mean George Bush, Ted Stevens, Don Young…. Anyway, what is with this FERC interference with respect to having the final say so over a natural gas pipeline here in territorial Alaska? This state would have been better off sticking with territorial status. Had that been the case, it would have by this time meant financial independence. It would have meant no Ted, no Don and no Murkoski, including MoanaLisa “Daddy Made Me Do It”. Does anybody out there in la-la land know what FERC is all about? Is there anybody out there in the land of the “Corrupt Bastards” that understands why FERC is involved in Alaska? The latter is probably a big “No” as the new generation that has come to Alaska for the “PFD Rush” has no idea what this state is all about. I am sure there are plenty out there that understand the first question, what FERC is all about. Those of you that work for FERC! But with the second question, it proves the point that most Alaskans are not smarter then their pet dog’s crap pile. There was a teensy weensy article in the Anchorage Daily Stool with regards to Alaskan style FERC-enomics, most likely not paid any attention. I am sure very few understand why this Federally sponsored “Commission” is trying to tell this state what it can or can not do with respect to our desires to build a natural gas pipeline. We have a gas problem, so need some relief. Now FERC is the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission. It is like FEMA, same thing but supports a completely different clientele. FEMA is for the people. FERC is for “Big Business”. Now FERC’s mission statement defines its jurisdiction in a clear and simple way. It is involved in “Interstate Commerce”. Alaska is a state all by itself. There exists no “Interstate Commerce” as this state borders no other state of the Union. In its mission statement, FERC also explains how it is not concerned with “Intrastate Commerce”. That is what we have, intrastate and nothing else. There is only one border and none of that border engages another state of the Union. Now you may ask why in hell is FERC so involved in the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline? As the 800-mile dipstick is again all Alaskan “Intrastate”. It is some 1500-miles from the nearest piece of America, the lower 48. Thanks Ted, Don and Frank for this freaky FERC interference that now no doubt will once again get this state screwed over, with what is rightfully ours to begin with - the resources. See, back about 30-years ago, “Big Oil” needed a whipping post boy for their own selfish interests. At one time, “Big Oil” was afraid of Alaska, until Bill “Nose Bleed” Sheffield became interested in politics because he wasn’t getting any meaningful sex. He basically sold the henhouse to the FOX, a.k.a. “Big Oil”. And since FERC is a businessman’s bail bondsman, “Big Oil” found a way to find something that was “Interstate” for no other meaningful reasons except to run an interference pattern and trump the state over oil taxes, royalty and realistic pipeline transportation tariffs. The latter three things make money for the state but take away revenue from the thieves. When the “Bush Rat” was in charge, “Big Oil” behaved. Jay Hammond I am talking about. Anyway, when the squirm worm entered the picture, “Big Oil” invested the “Hail Mary” plan and it was an entire different ball game, into overtime. It worked. “Big Oil” with the help of this state’s sleazebag representatives that were successful in turning the House of Representatives, a.k.a. Congress, into the House of Rabid Skunks, found themselves at the whipping post, for the corporation. Soon, the pipeline was defined as “interstate” as the oil had to travel by tankers to the states. It still didn’t involve breaching another state border. It really sucked that the Federal government would employ such trickery and treachery. But when told to do so or else, what else could they do? See, FERC is important when a pipeline crosses a state wherein eminent domain greed could levy a tax burden that could make failure a reality. So FEREC is a referee for “INTERSTATE” difficulties, so it has some credibility. But there is no such threat here in Alaska. The only threat “Big Oil” had to contend with was the state of Alaska, US! So now FERC has become part of the scene and will side with “Big Oil”. Precedent has been set. It never should have been allowed to happen. They should have minded their own business and not wasted the taxpayers’ money so “Big Oil” could get away with crying out loud temper tantrums. Had we had decent representation, when FERC tried to bud in on our business, they would have had their hands slapped and cuffed if they pursued such nonsense. But now, this outfit feels compelled to have an opinion when called upon by the “Cry Babies”. Really, have you ever witnessed so many crybabies, those Alaskan oil company CEOs? What a ship of fools. So, FERC getting involved can only provide a win loose situation. We will always loose. Business will always win, it is that simple. There is not a single FERC case outcome that benefits the people directly. It is a detrimental opinion that sides with “Big Oil”. Basically this outfit’s mandate focuses on the fact that a savings here and there for “Big Oil” will mean a savings down the road for the consumer, as shit rolls down hill. The concept is supposed to work but the trickle down theory becomes the dried up dog crap syndrome and in the end, the consumer gets screwed over. So what do we do about this behavior that allows the state of Alaska’s coffers to go under nourished? Ted, Don and MoanaLisa can tell this bureaucracy to bud out. Unfortunately, the power of the courts could be called upon to use the precedence set reality to keep its reign here in Alaska alive and well. It is like a cancer, as you think it has gone away when it is dormant and can come alive and wreck havoc when you least expect it. Of course in this case it is controlled by “Big Oil”, so it is to be expected. So, a lesson learned. The fact that Ted had VECO build him a mansion and the fact that Don is a twerp, this stuff doesn’t really matter as it was a one time all the time state of affairs. With FERC, because precedence was set, it will haunt this state forever. That is what we should remember about Ted and Don and Frank. The original “Three Stooges”, as FERC’s suckling tentacles upon Alaska occurred while they were at the helm. Part of their trademark, their behind the scenes efforts to screw us from the front, side to side and from behind, crisscross and broadside. And still coming at us in directions not even discovered! The momentum is there. Hey, Ted admits that he was a poor “dad” and it goes the same with Uncledom! Don? What can I say! Frank, you better go hide. Now sure they will all deny having anything to do with allowing FERC to invade Alaska. But their record of shenanigans while keeping us hostage during their terms of endangerment is clear and convincing. Bottom line, they should have never let it happen unless they wanted it to happen. Anyway, FERC madness is upon us like a sea gull on a dead salmon’s eye. And they are already getting involved in the natural gas pipeline debate. Why? Because “Big Oil Crybabies” are disappointed that Sarah, a.k.a. Mrs. Vogue Mature, is calling their bluff and moving ahead with them or without. Good luck momma! “F” is for Find, “E” for Excuses, “R” is for Rebate and “C” for the Crybabies. FERC, Find Excuses to Rebate the Crybabies. Maybe we didn’t really understand what FERC really stood for! And guess what, your taxes pay for this outlandish oversight!

CopyRight 2008 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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Monday, March 3, 2008

3:00 am Phone Call...

It is 3:00 am and the phone in the oval office rings.
“Hi Hillary, this is Monica. Bill is on his way home”.

Have Another Hit…

I met a brother the other day. He was posing as a down and out homeless person. His domain for begging included the intersection of the Old Seward Highway and Dimond Boulevard, so traffic flow at this location is excellent, and paramount to survival when you must rely on others’ goodwill to survive. “Buddy can you spare a dime” was written all over his age-old smile. There was a smile! Anyway, this is a unique area of Anchorage, as there exists this massive American flag that overshadows everything below its territorial revival, sort of like an umbrella of protection. In fact, it takes one hell of a Chinook from the mountains to the oceans to get this flag to wave. And that is what bothered me. This guy was not a homeless person but a man without a country. He was a Vietnam veteran that served this country between 1967 and 1971. These years of that conflict included high casualties, agent orange abuse and other atrocities of a very unpopular war, like Nixon’s “Vietnamization”. I asked him what he thought of the Iraq war, he gave me the throat-cutting signal, a tear jerk came to his eye. He pointed to his head, saying it was going to be another case of brain-damaged soldiers coming home to nothing, as that is what happened to him and many others. Spare change it was. As he departed and tried to sell his situation to others bothered by his non-persistent attempt to enjoy what life, liberty and pursuit of happiness was still fueling his will to survive, I could see that this must be a grueling task - this means of everyday survival. The Vietnam War is over, but it still haunts us. I saw that today. Now this is a long-winded light, so there is plenty of time for those of us on the “other side of the fence” to find some spare change and get that Good Samaritan fuzzy feeling. And this turn lane is just the quick route to “Best Buy”, so giving up some “chump” change should not be a real bother “brother”! And look at the amount of money that flows into the coffers of those running for the presidency! And there are people starving on the streets of America. So why is Hillary running? Why is John McCain running? As for years they have run away from the real problems facing this nation. I have heard the same crap over and over again. Anyway, it looked as though it were a “Slim Pickens” kind of day on the beggar’s circuit. And it wasn’t too cold, so that should not have been an excuse to not open the window and accommodate this man’s wishes based upon his addiction to beg. I forgot, it is a misdemeanor to give in to beggars’ begging here in Anchorage. Over the years, the begging ranks have swelled here in Alaska’s “Big City”. And the business owners thought it hurt tourism business. I am sure that people visiting this state were appalled to see such a scene. This is Alaska! This is a state that has oil! This is a state that receives at least 3-times the amount of Federal welfare – earmarks – then any other state of the Union. This state even gives its residents a separate welfare check, from resource revenue. So laws were written to say beggars weren’t welcome, even the veterans. At first, the lawmen made it a crime to beg! That didn’t go over so well, as what rights to defend do the homeless have? And why fill up the jails with their likes. So the burden to stop giving handouts fell on the people who could afford to drive here, there and everywhere. It was all right when Floyd was begging all around this town. He was the guy that seemed to be everywhere, carrying a milk jug and giving up a dance when someone accommodated his wishes for “spare change”. So I broke the law. I called this guy back, even held up traffic as the light had changed. Boy, do people get irate when they see you breaking the law. Talk about rage! It was time to get back home where there existed protection away from the maddening crowd. When I arrived home, I felt proud that I had broken the law and gotten away with it, in efforts to help a brother in need. I liked breaking the law for this reason, as normally I am a law-abiding citizen. It felt good, as it seems some laws are made too indeed be broke. Just ask the politicians, especially the Alaskan crooks. I played with the fact that maybe a good “joint” would ease the pain of frustration to what we day-in and day-out see right here in America under the red, white and blue. Homeless people, disgruntled people and with the economy crashing all around us, just what has the leadership got us into? The war in Iraq is strangling us. George Bush is now as lame as ever and will move on to Crawford and write his memoirs and let somebody else figure out how to get us out of this mess. That thought of torching up a joint was becoming more of a habit revival craving then just a thought. And I had two ancient marijuana joints at my disposal, right here in front on me. See, we were downsizing and when we were going through some old correspondences, two reefer joints were found. They were a gift from my younger brother who is no longer with us, as he could not stand the Vietnam War era, being a peacenik. And you know what really gets me, is to hear my generation talk that the drug thing of the 60’s didn’t work! It stopped the WAR. It was basically the same thing back then. Wherein the leadership was afraid to admit they had screwed up. We didn’t take to arms, but to getting high and listening to Rock’n Roll. The leadership was afraid to act! See, screwing up may dismiss one from that two-term prize of a lifetime! This country is in a quagmire again today, as the leaderdhip cannot figure a way out of this mess. And with so much more restrictions by “Big Daddy” over the years, it would be good to bring back that era, to see if it could once again cause a disconnect and force the WAR to an end. But the laws will never allow it, as the Hoover mentality has also strangled our freedoms. But we have available to us “freedom tools”. It is time for all of us to open up that toolbox in efforts to rebuild what has deteriorated over the past years. So I have no problem sticking my freedoms on the line to call for an all American exercise of freedom wherein our 1st and 2nd Amendment Right, reserved for things getting out of control, utilized to protect Lady Liberty now and forever, Amen. We need to take the 1st along with the 2nd to heart and assemble then parade in force and begin a show-down throw-down against the Washington bureaucracy of greed, death and Constitutional derailments orchestrated by the Cheney mentality. I wanted to use the word “attack”, but that is not what a march upon the derelict in duty is all about. We just want righteousness restored wherein our voice, that of the poor to the hard working middle class, is heard above that of sleazebag lobbyist loyalists. No doubt, the lobbyist are trying to keep this war going and growing. WAR, it makes money for the war machine debutantes, CEO’s that make more money the more their companies bring in. These types are not true Americans! They represent the Ken Lays of a sick and secular society. We would be better off under a socialistic regime then a discriminatory regime wherein the rich get richer and the middle class joins the ranks of the poor. That is happening right here and now with energy cost strangulation. With such burdens upon the middle-class heroes, how can the poor ever realize that pursuit to happiness is not merely just a wet-dream. It is now time overdue to gather together and make it clear and convincing that we as Americans are sick and tired of corrupt politicians and we aim to take control of our destiny and the destiny of this once great country. We have that power and right under the Constitution to protect ourselves, to protect this great doctrine that is under attack by a leadership controlled by “Turn Coat” interests that have no interest in what you think but may have a change of heart with what we do! I’ll 2nd that! How precious this Constitution when the people have it at their disposal to right the wrongs of corrupt politics. Maybe we did learn something from the Vietnam War era, protest. It worked and we are experienced to do it again. Maybe that is what the 60’s were all about, the training grounds for what we have facing us today. This is not a call to anarchy, as that already exists within our own rank and file administration, as a government for the people and by the people does no longer exist. This is a call to freedom, as any diminishment of such is a government out of control. Our freedoms are eroding away like the coastlines due to global warming! Nature will fix that. We need to fix what was once ours – freedoms. It is time for Americans to show the world that we do indeed care about ourselves, and have the means, the willpower and courage to see it through to another day wherein that flag blows in the wind not from hot-bloat escaping away from the false doctrines of inept leadership, but from the sounds of freedom ringing out the voice of the people from those mountains to the prairies to the oceans to those intersections of dissent, dismay and disparity!

CopyRight 2008 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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Sunday, March 2, 2008

All Aboard!

I was out at the pirate ship the other evening. If you don’t know what I mean by pirate ship, it is Ted Stevens’ International Airport. How come so many write the editor of the Anchorage Daily Stool demanding that there be a name change to anything that bares the Stevens’ namesake, as the citizens of Alaska have become sick and tired of corrupt politics here in the “Corrupt Bastard” state. Hey, Mark Twain would have had a whole lot of fun with Ted and Don and son Ben. What is this rumor that Ted admits he was a ”bad” dad and this act of contrition to tell the truth instigating the fact that Ben may not be his son and may be Don’s offspring? I heard this “crap” on my answering machine, left by somebody running for assembly. Talk about spin! Anyway, I like the pirate ship and the name. I think we should start naming all kinds of things in dishonor of Ted and Don. Start with dog crap found at the trailheads! Now back to the pirate ship. See, this piece of crap facility was taken over by the pirates way back when it was discovered that the structural beams were built but not built to withstand an earthquake. That is when the pirates realized that this DOT funded facility was a gold rush like rape and pilferage upon the U.S. Treasury and Ted was the pirate extraordinaire to bring in the bacon. Some people call it economics. Here in Alaska it is called “baconomics”. So it meant even more money to bring the odd looking building with masts up to code. It even looks like a pirate ship when fog surrounds the runways. Commercial break. “It is 3:00 am and the phone in the oval office rings. Hi Hillary, this is Monica, Bill is on his way home.” Anyway, we all have to do our duty to help out with the national money crisis. This crisis is caused by energy costs going crazy. Oil over $100 dollars a barrel? Anyway, out at the pirate ship another rip-off continues to soak up money for upkeep, lights and heat. It is the Bill “Nose Bleed” Sheffield Alaska Railroad Depot. It has been used once in 5-years. Anyway, why not just turn off the lights, heat and let it rot? It will never amount to anything useable. And what is this “crap”, again left on my answering machine from an assemblyperson, that Bill wants to use it as a crypt? Damn plane is late, so I have to play games with the sidewalk un-mounted police that patrol the “Active Pickup” lanes at the airline arrival concourse. I don’t like it when the cop on duty is fit. This is where I would rather see an obese cop, as they stay inside when it is cold and one can stay here forever at idle. I could have pulled over at the cell phone waiting lot, but the gangs were getting ready to rumble on, as it was Saturday night - so I wasn’t welcome. I guess it was a case of age discrimination. Ethnicicity doesn’t matter. Really, there were gangs hanging out. But I don’t know what is more of a danger, as the airport police have been known to chase people to Girdwood then shoot to kill, just for a traffic violation. Now a thought came to me. Why not turn the “depot” into a jail. A place of incarceration for the guilty privileged, like Tom and Pete and Vic and soon maybe Ted, Ben and Don. There exists a kitchen in the depot along with rest rooms. Really, all it would take is some steel bars to reinforce the huge picture windows. And these windows provide a showroom display to the travelers using the pirate ship. Live criminals! It could be a great tourist attraction. Besides stuffed wildlife viewing, real live viewing upon your arrival to Anchorage of prisoners that stuffed their back pockets! Talk about the Big Wildlife. What is that, using that slogan is a violation of what? Sue me. And to make things really interesting, the DOT could employ the thugs’ services to clean up the latrines at the pirate ship. The crooks could be paraded to and fro in ball and chain, orange jump suits that advertise, “I was a Corrupt Bastard”. The pirates could be a money making money attraction. And we could give Bill “Nose Bleed” Sheffield another headmasters job, at his crypt. Really, we need to find things that stimulate the economy and tourism is this state’s best bet. Hey, San Francisco has the “Rock”. We have the “Pirate Ship” and the pirates to booty.

CopyRight 2008 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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Saturday, March 1, 2008

Gasline Port Authority

Commie Fever!
What the hell is up with the commies infiltrating the Alaska scene these days? I thought the cold war was a thing of the past? Anyway, the price of pizza dough is up 22% already this year, it is only February. And last year topping cheese-gee-wiz went up 18% overall. Considering the global economy of scale mentality, pizza pricing and delivery is probably this country’s most accurate signal that provides a true scorecard of the economy at lodge. It contains wheat, sugar, salt, meat, cheese and tomatoes. It is the Holy Grail of nutrition! Talk about nutrition, I heard a mom complain that milk is up 17-cents a gallon, she seemed depressed! Bush said the economy is still healthy but “borked” at the reporter who asked what the two-term lame-brain thought about motor gasoline approaching $4 a whack. He ducked when he heard the word “whack”! Talk about a “bork”, what the hell is U.S. Representative Henry Waxman trying to accomplish by attacking Roger Clemens? Talk about a commie attack. This is baseball Henry. Go find something better to do then waste the taxpayers’ money just to make a name for yourself? The kids of this country that grow up learning about baseball before politics will dispise you when your name comes up in the history books. Probably right up there with Osama. Is that what you want to be remembered for? Anyway, the economy is in a strangle hold and ready to crater, unless Americans - true Americans of the middle class - come to lend a helping hand. Back to the economy as Congress turns its back on us, once again. Now we didn’t directly cause this screw up as most hard working American’s are just doing that, hard working our asses’ off to make ends meet. But we are able to take some of the blame, as we lost consiouness and oversight over what has been really going on behind the scenes. See, we have cut ourselves in the main artery and are bleeding to death, all together now. So there may not be anybody to come and stop that bleeding before it is too late. We are all guilty. See, we have fallen for the snake poison with respect to how we are all involved in the economy of Wall Street. Not from a supply and demand interest, but from the way we have all become shareholders of “crap” investment scams wherein we are all trying to get rich. Lesson learned people! The rich don’t want you to get rich! The richer you and your neighbor become, the poorer the rich bastards become. There is only so much wealth to go around! I get a kick out of how people despise big corporations that pay no taxes. See, it is all part of the equation of wealth. It is all part of how we will end up in the wealth department trying to get by during retirement. We factor into that equation, as do the corporate giants. When you look at what EXXON requires to maintain its status quo, there is indeed a trickle down economy. You may not be an EXXON shareholder but somewhere along the way I can bet that one of your portfolios’ investment strategies is tied to how well that corporation does in the revenue pay no taxes scheme scene of modern day corporate miss-dealings. That is why the meek shall inherit the earth. But what I was getting too is how these loose cannons here in Alaska like to exercise their 1st Amendment right when the 2nd Amendment may get a workout pretty soon. To protect our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness over commie like mentality. Honestly, the commies are alive and well right here in Alaska! Some guy wants to build a natural gas pipeline from Prudhoe Bay to Valdez so that commodity can be liquefied then exported. Actually he represents a bunch of Bozos on a bus that is way out of control and off course and recognized professionally as the “Alaska Gasline Port Authority”. Now anything that has “Port Authority” associated with it must be something Bill “Turn Coat” Sheffield is involved with, so it has to be a rip-off. See, when we start to think in terms of greed be with us in efforts to reap more money from our resources, like this outfit’s unfit request to allow selling “our” natural gas to the Asian community, because it will fetch some 3 cents more on a cubic foot of gas, we are loosing focus of the really problem at hand - the pizza problem. What I am getting at is simple. This state is positioned to help out our fellow Americans much better then how Hugo Chavez is trying to help out, with the high cost of energy. Energy costs are the cornerstone of how well or not this economy will survive. The dollar is at an all time low. It all boils down to energy costs. That pizza crust wheat costs more now due to the cost of fuels to sow and cut the wheat. So it is this state’s time overdue to lend a helping hand. If we don’t want to help out then we may as well just secede and go it our own. For years this state has raped the U.S. Treasury for way too much kick-back earmark “bull crap”. We owe it to our brothers and sisters down yonder that are starving to death from high energy costs to lend a helping hand, as we are positioned to do so. Remember, they get double taxation and receive not a dividend check. And yes, every Alaskan is a bonafide EXXON shareholder as this state invests heavily in that corporation’s stock. It helps your dividend check. Anyway the natural gas reserves we have can play an important factor in the supply and demand equation if and when that gas gets flowing. Right now pipe should be rolling off the steel plant presses and ditch-witches should be ripping up the tundra, for a natural gas pipeline to the “Hub” in British Columbia. When that gas - “our” gas - is available it will have a tendency to compete with Canadian gas. All gas coming from this state should be earmarked for AMERICA and nowhere else. To think that we should export this gas to a foreign entity is “Turn Coat” treason and an act of commie cronyism. Remember when BP lobbied Ted “Good Dad” Stevens and Don “Idiot” Young to get the Jones Act turned around so Alaskan crude oil could be exported, it sucked! Just the fact that British Petroleum now had the authority from our Congress to “export” oil with not one iota of a real intent to do so, the price of motor gasoline increased 4-cents a gallon, from the fear factor! So we owe it to America to lend a helping hand by sending “our” gas to markets via the Canadian gas transportation system already in place. For a competitive reason. The supply and demand thing will work and competition will demand gas to be sold and re-purchased at lower prices, driving down Alaska’s profits and providing a dividend that may not be has healthy as it could have been if we succumbed to the greed only factor, or if we decide to all be “Turn Coats” and allow this gas to go on the export market. In the end, a right and might decision based on a natural gas pipeline through Canada will benefit this nation’s economy. It could turn things around and become a turnaround reality as soon as the gas pipeline is official and being built and things start to get ordered. It could stimulate the economy even before one cubic foot of gas is transported from Prudhoe Bay to America. The Trans-Alaska-Pipeline was one of the biggest capitol projects that helped out the entire United State’s economy when it was built some 30-years ago. When a project this size gets a stamp of approval, it gets the stalled gears of the economy going again, as all kinds of things are needed for such a project to be successful. From steel components to pipe to workers to whores. It is indeed a shot in the arm. With another project like this going through Canada, it will be a shot in the arm for this state and at the same time a big shot in the arm for America. Supply and demand through competition is one of those things that can’t help but work. Maybe Alaska can be the saving grace of this nation’s economy. Maybe it can erase the tarnish that the “Corrupt Bastards” have allowed this state to become the laughing stock state of the union. So NO, our gas is not for sale to foreigners. It is America’s gas and should be sent to the homeland, no if and or buts about it. Commies, get lost! That includes anybody or entity associated with the bozo bus mentality of the “Alaska Gasline Port Authority”. Amen! It is time for Alaska to save America and a Canadian natural gas pipeline is the way to go. Maybe we need one of Don’s bridges, erected over the Bearing Strait, so the commies can find their way to a new home. Hey, they want export? Maybe we should accommodate!

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