Virus of TED

I was out surfing the other day, it was awesome. A big hulking wave sent me adrift and I found myself upon the deck of a pirate ship. It was the U.S.S. Ted Stevens. I was glad for the ship ahoy, as the waters were becoming murky and a cesspool like odor germinated about. And the surrounding cloaking fog, like it was a good place to hideout. OK, I was visiting Ted’s official “U.S. Senate” website. It is always interesting to “tube” Ted’s entertaining internet, as the photo opportunities give an indication of what other crocks this Alaskan senator continues to align himself with. I can’t get up the nerve to say “my” senator, even though I reside in Alaska – extraordinarily known as the “Corrupt Bastard” state. That reference is in disrespect to the political state of affairs. See, Don “Billy Goat” Young – this state’s lone star congressman – believes that his constituents are those that voted for him and only represents such. Anyway, on the pirate’s web site there is this gang bang picture of Ted with Dennis Hasters and Bill Frist. Both were known to be henchmen, one for Cheney and the other for Georgie Porgie. Members of the “Masters of War” fan club. Anyway, Ted’s site has this new link called “Earmark Requests”. It is supposed to be a means wherein the “earmark” boondoggle rip-off can be openly scrutinized so the practice of closed door negotiating can be monitored by the owners of the money – we the taxpayers that knowingly and unwillingly supply the “earmark” pork, beans and can! According to the senator, “This year, in an effort to shed light on the appropriations process, Senator Stevens' office will post all of these requests on his website for the public to view.” Now what is interesting about this new found tool for the concerned righteous citizens is the fact that there still exists a way to squander away my tax burden – hard earned money siphoning – without “earmark” requests made public. The senator in poor standing with his constituents continues with, “Note, a request form is not required for a constituent to make a request for funding. Some requests come to the Senator via letters or phone conversations with the Senator’s offices. In addition, the Senator makes requests to the appropriations committee based upon his observations when traveling around the state and talking to constituent.” Talk about a crap response to manipulating the system of checks and balances! This is as “closed door” loopholing as it can get. It seems a “fart” could be considered a request. So I decided to check out the site, to see who and what illegitimate outfit was gutsy enough to use the system for a freebie “grant of no return”. Now I have no quarrels about approaching the senator for a loan with reasonable payback, but this grant crap is totally out of control. Why? No accountability because there is no payback for the paycheck. It is welfare. In fact, why do true blue republicans complain about welfare when all the time the most powerful and senile representatives are the ones that support welfare, called appropriations? And appropriations have this drawback, as one-third of the money goes to make a rich bastard richer, through over-inflated salaries that again relish no accountability. It sucks. And if our representatives were in-line with Fed Chief Bernanke, wealth would be taxed to the hilt, as it doesn’t do the economy any good if it is stuck in an offshore haven. It has to be injected back into the economy. See, middle class working heroes - we are - support the economy. Most of our disposable income goes back into the mainstream. The hording by the rich is what continues to cripple the health of the supply and demand equation. Enough said. Good luck Mr. Bernanke. So low and behold, most of the pages accessed on the senator’s “Earmark Request” link were blank! Rather strange. Is this some kind of office joke played out by the senator’s staff? Really, every time I wanted to view a request, a blank page appeared. Then I found a page of a request that sent my computer to the unknown zone. That familiar pop-up appeared. “WARNING: You are entering an unsafe zone. Some attachments could pose a potential virus threat to your computer, files and programs. Caution should be exercised before continuing!” Now this I assumed was the typical response, as my computer has the latest and greatest of security protocol. I cancelled the security warning. Hey, I was networked to a senator’s home page! What could be of a concern? Then it happened, my computer was hijacked. In fact, I lost total control of the keyboard. Reminded me about total loss of control upon my hard earned tax dollars. Could this be a joke I asked myself again? It seemed like it. And then my computer started shutting down and starting up, all on its own accord. In fact, during the boot-up, I swear I heard someone laughing over the on-board speakers. For crying out loud, it sounded like Ted himself. I guess I was “marked”. Finally, when my computer recovered, I decided to inform the senator about the problem. No, not from my computer! I’ll go over to the coffee shop and let the senator abuse one of their computers. So I sent him an e-mail, asking about the virus and also asking to provide the “earmark” requests for the last 30-years that he has been in office, along with all phone tag “earmark” requests along with all requests made during his trips, especially during the Penny Kenai River fishing classic held every year at the taxpayers’ expense. Damn, the e-mail system kept telling me that Ted wasn‘t my senator? It is based on location and zip code. That is why it is almost impossible to send an e-mail to a senator from a different state, unless you use their own address! It works. They don’t even know it. But this state doesn’t have boundaries, with respect to senators! There is a catch. See, I live in a section of town wherein liberals homestead, and pick up their dogs’ doodoo. Basically, they obey the law. So, it looks as though this voice was “crapped” upon once again. My computer was never the same. But I must take the blame. See, I didn’t read the “fine” printed material on the instruction set of the senator’s “Earmark Request” link. “All content in these requests are provided by the requesting entity. On individual forms, personal information has been redacted. This is to ensure the privacy of individuals who work on the behalf of a larger entity.” So that is why the pages were left blank, creative use of the legality of “redaction”. Blank us out is what it is all about. So the process continues to be abused. Always was and I guess always will be. Democracy? Hypocrisy? Maybe lunacy!

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