Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind

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Monday, December 24, 2007

High Blood Pressure

High Blood Pressure
It is Christmas Eve morning, so why must we be bothered with “crap”. I am talking about Ted and Don using the “tidings of comfort and joy” occasion to justify their corrupt ways and means. See, it is a day wherein everybody should be in a good mood, so maybe they plan on using this time to crawl up each listening individual’s ass. Talk about a hemorrhoid! Now, according to the Anchorage Daily Stool, Don is adamant that “I listen and I provide. That’s what I’m elected for. You show me a congressman who says I’m not going to have any earmarks and I’m not going to listen and I’m not going to provide and I’ll show you a short-timer”. Hey Don, maybe you have been too busy running away from “Rabid Skunks”, but isn’t that what most honest Americans are after, “TERM LIMITS”? Or a “Short-Timer”? A short-timer would not amass Hulk like power as a means to earmark the hell out of my pocket book. Then Don, you get diarrhea of the mouth, “People think their taxes go up and that spending gets bloated. If the money wasn’t earmarked for the state, it would be spent somewhere else”. Don, if the money isn’t spent foolishly then maybe it means you are stealing away too much of my hard earned payola. If it isn’t needed, it is a surplus. You make energy companies give back rebates when they find a surplus, so what is the difference? Why not follow the laws you make other private entities adhere too. And instead of foolish spending, give the young troops a raise, for fighting your stupid war. Maybe you should get a real job once you get booted out of that cushion seat you have kept warm for way too many years, just to see what I mean about work. I’ll bet you’ll be the first in-line to sign a petition for a tax rebate. In fact, I bet you’ll be the petitioner! And then Ted runs away at the mouth in the Stool, just like Ben running away from the Lawman, like son like father. “I’ve told the state legislature for three years in a row that we are going to suffer reductions in the amount of Federal assistance if the state doesn’t step up to the plate and provide local assistance”. Ted, on your 13,990-day watch in the “Big House” you have single handedly created the biggest “welfare” state ever. And now that you are loosing power, you have to realize that what you created cannot be weaned away overnight, from pork bellies - not unless you come down hard on the “Big Oil”. Why must you continue to support foreign companies like British Petroleum, in their efforts to rip off the resources, cause environmental nightmares and kill hard working Americans? So, some idiot friend of yours is getting awarded up to a million dollars for berry research. And all this “pork” is in the form of grants – not loans – so payback is a joke upon the taxpayers. There is in no way shape or form any reasonable return on the “grant” money investment sent this way for nothing. Like it was once quoted, “War, what is it good for, absolutely nothing”. Well, “Earmarks, what is it good”, same sentiment in my book. And what the hell is this earmark for something called an Alaskan agricultural product? Something unknown to me and the rest of civilization here in Alaska, but what ever it is or supposed to be it was awarded a bunch of taxpayers’ dough. Hey, we can’t even keep a dairy afloat! And why the hell does 58-million need to be spent for Pacific salmon fisheries? What do I get in return, as all the salmon processors are from Seattle! And that continuous halibut season that you were all in favor of over a limited season, well I can’t afford that fish nowadays. Sure its fresh, but only the rich can get the drools over it. And I am sure that with the salary you have voted for yourself after all these years you also can easily afford the luxury. This fish business is as bad as the Coconut Grove scandal that your buddy Don is in trouble over. Hey, who does your performance appraisal? And that Denali Commission earmark, something in the tune of 90-million, what the hell for MR. TED? Why don’t you just be honest with us, it has been a complete failure time and time again. If it weren’t then Hugo Chavez would not have had to come to the villagers’ with aid, for heating fuel subsidies. And now that we are on the subject of failures, the Seward Sea-life Center is awarded a 3-million dollar giveaway? What are the taxpayers in the market for another asbestos filled ancient and dilapidated “Arcade” to buy away from another one of your buddies at an inflated cost. You must realize that some real-estate agents are going to jail here in Anchorage for inflating the price of property, called price fixing. MoanaLisa was caught in a similar situation but somehow escaped, just wait until her seat is back up for grabs. Your shenanigans’ goes well beyond that, what a laughing joke you continue to amuse us with. Hey, I looked into berry cultivation back some 20-years ago while living in Valdez. The business plan sounded good and caught the attention of the bankers, but it was just too risky a venture. Why? It’s called the “Weather”. So I felt that the experts had looked at something that I missed. See, I am a proud American that was raised on the true American spirit and righteous values. If you can’t do it the right way, then don’t do it at all. And listen to what others are saying, not what others are asking for. To have a risky business plan risking my taxable income, it is “goonatics” at work. You and Don are the pros when it comes to illicit and illegal taxpayer contributions run amuck. It is illegal, to waste my money, just read the Constitution wherein it talks about taxation. You are not the only guilty party, but you would think that with the time spent there in Congress, something good would have come from the House, other then high oil prices and a protracted “War”. So next Christmas, please don’t use the media in efforts to support your corruption. Earmarks undermine the integrity of our system. Nobody likes these secret giveaway programs that are orchestrated behind closed doors. And the fact that these things show up and nobody takes credit for it, it is treason upon my paycheck. So please don’t try to sell your snake oil remedies. You have been a failure, as providing misrepresentation that has done nothing but support a welfare infrastructure, the failure blame is yours to cherish Don’t forget to talk about it in your memoirs, at least one page will have something besides being “intentionally left blank”. And Don, keep away from that “Rabid Skunk”!

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Scary Scenario

Scary Scenario
Wow, this is really disturbing. And it just goes to show that ethics and common sense - maybe lack of both - have been instrumental in dwindling away some more of our Constitutional righteousness. POWER to the PEOPLE is becoming a John Lennon song of the past. It is becoming a sad fact of the matter joke. What I am getting at is the fact that educated individuals still have trouble performing simple math. Actually, it has nothing to do with “I am not smarter then a 5th grader”. With modern data entry formats and fancy spreadsheets that take the mundane boredom away in efforts to streamline entering large numbers of essential data - like public office election vote results - and programmed to minimize mistakes, accuracy is almost a guarantee. So how come after 3-years the 2004 Alaska Senate race is still unknown? That involved the race between MoanaLisa Murkowski and AARP member Tony Knowles. Why in hell did it take so long for the results to be made public? And why did the Alaska Democratic Party have to sue this state’s very own Division of Elections to get such results? In efforts to see just what the hell went wrong back on November 2nd, 2004. Could it be that the 5th graders running the election were trying to hide something? This state needs more jails, as corruption is rampant like rabies, just like a “Rabid Skunk”. Even Don Young is in agreement about skunks on the loose. I guess it is a big problem down in Florida. I wish we had Don as our congressman, as he takes good care of the Floridians addicted to coconut schnapps. Now for those “Alaskans Left Behind”, the Constitution of Alaska guarantees not only a “Right to Privacy”, but also guarantees an “Open Record” statute, basically nothing is secret if it is of public interest. “Big Oil” changed that. So this state, which at one time held an almighty Constitution by the people and for the people, well it is a sad day now that it is “officially” undetermined as to who is really our Senator and supposed to be representing us in Washington. How come there exists not one able bodied person of power challenging this debacle? Do we have a governor? Do we have a political police force that is supposed to secure our rights? With the word coming down from the high court, how come nothing is happening? Maybe because Miss Vogue is more concerned about her wardrobe and posing for Mad Magazine. We have a system out of control here people! Bottom-line, we need to have another election and during the interim, MoanaLisa should step aside until an accurate tally represents the will of the people. She can practice real-estate rip-offs during the recess. So why was the “Open Record” policy hijacked by this entity that is part of the state? Now you don’t have to read on, but even a superior court judge made it clear and convincing that something was not up-and-up during this election with respect to how the Division broadcast return results. See, the media relies on the election results to give out minute-to-minute updates, as many people rely on the fact that they like to pick a winner. So why in hell was it that MoanaLisa’s vote tally went inflated during the early voting turnouts across the state? Inflated by a factor of exactly 1.5 over Tony’s vote tally. So as the results came into election central, for every vote cast for MoanaLisa, the digital tally indicated that she was gaining ground and outpacing Tony, all on a false and manipulated premise. This is hypocrisy. This is near Communistic. This is blasphemy. It is the most critical time to “LIE”. And to have this 1.5 adjusting factor, it smells of Republican crap. See, a factor of 2 would have raised a red-flag and maybe alarmed the authorities that something was wrong, as the people can’t be fooled all of the time. So somebody carefully manipulated the results, not so out of control but enough to have an effect on the end results. Now the Division of Elections admits the results were reported to the public in a “confusing” way. Sure it was confusing, as that was the intent. Confuse the general voting public in a way that it favors MoanaLisa! Confuse early on and one can almost calculate the outcome. So like monkey-see and monkey-do, the voters reinforced the fake results. It was a fixed race, that is the only reason that the Division has been playing “Hardball” with the “PEOPLE”. I don’t care if it is the Alaska Democratic Party or the Pa-Pa Pilgrim Party, we need to know who is this state’s truly elected SENATOR. We all realize that MoanaLisa held an advantage, being the incumbent, but the nepotism scandal most likely erased that handicap. So now, almost 3-years after the fact, we realize that there was something rotten going on over at the Division of Elections’ headquarters. And this state already has enough political corruption that we can use some more, so it is time to revolt against this corruption. In closing, I reiterate the judge’s response to the outcome of the Alaska Democratic Party suing the Division of Elections: “the system as it existed prior to this litigation, failed to provide sufficient means of confirming the accuracy of the results”. With this remark, the PEOPLE of this state should be practicing their 1st and 2nd Amendment Rights, as the system has been hijacked by Corrupt Bastards once again. So I have sent the following letter to the Division of Elections and also to MoanaLisa, asking her to step aside until another election can be scheduled. She is in that power position that can make a difference and call for another election. If she doesn’t then it is for one and only one reason, she knows the truth - that the election was manipulated to her advantage proving that nepotism is a high crime of treason against the Constitution, a crime against the PEOPLE!

Dear MoanaLisa;
With respect to the Senate race of 2004, I feel that it is time to look at the possibility that illegal activities favored your outcome. I am an average AMERICAN that likes to win. So when I saw the news media broadcasting the early returns the evening of November 2nd, 2004, I cast my vote for you. But it was based on false premise and with this in mind I now retract such vote. I reserve that option when it is known that illegal activities of confusion may have tainted the election results. It is now known that those early return results were inflated, giving you an inflated winning position over your opponent Mr. Tony Knowles. I voted for you based on these results broadcast by the media and taken from the Division of Elections, a state entity that is supposed to provide an unbiased forecast, which has come under the state’s superior courts consideration and condemnation. In fact, the outcome of this election is questionable by the superior court’s own findings. I believe that the confusion factor was purposely administrated. Had the results been accurate and not manipulated by a factor of 1.5 in your favor and showed that in actuality that it was a much closer race, I may have voted differently. See, I am a hard working class AMERICAN with a family. It takes two incomes to support my family and make payments on our double-wide that sits over on Brayton Drive. In fact, my husband delivers pizza on the side just to cover the high costs of natural gas. Did Ben have anything to do with that inflated price fixing? Sorry, we just wonder a lot these days, with the Corrupt Bastards still out on the loose. See, I do not have the time and energy to follow the political landscape. I vote based on what other people feel is right, as maybe they have the time and energy to follow the issues. So I am asking you to take a recess, if you are not already on a recess, and step aside until the state can hold another credible election that can accurately validate a majority winner. If you hold off and come up with some kind of lame excuse that this is not necessary, just like your excuse over the Kenai River land dealings, I have lost faith in you to represent this state. Holding off may mean that you are guilty yourself of this scammed election. So please, step aside and allow another election to be held. In fact, before stepping down, use your Congressional clout to force majeure such an election upon us. You owe it to the people and America to set things right. Please, do not say no to this demand, as that would place you in the same category as Ted and Don. With the FBI and IRS agents still hanging around in droves here in the 49th state, maybe they can be employed to secure the results of this new election to make sure that the vote of the people is heard free and clear of corruptional influence.
Respectfully Submitted: Pam MaGee

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Friday, December 21, 2007

And So This Is Christmas!

And So This Is Christmas!
Finally, the TSA has met its match. This agency of once upon a time unemployed laissez fairies, their intimidation tactics took a turn for the worse recently, soon after it started using Facial Anger Recognition Technology – or FART. The latter is a fancy name recognizing there is nothing more exciting to do then watch the traveling public pick their noses - or to observe other obscene behavior - from cameras remotely located every which way but loose at major airports, wherein Larry Craig like hideaways are no longer “hidden”. Either that or stay at home and collect unemployment. And since the TSA and its swelling membership now falls under the Federal Workers Union, well these people dedicated to protecting our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, they are rolling in the dough. Now this new-age FART technology designed by the German’s during the Hitler regime, it is very hi-tech. Actually I think it was designed by Bozo and a busload of Bozonians on a Timothy Leary high time. Basically if one looks happy in the eyes of the beholder, it sets a red flag that warrants further TSA scrutiny. And according to the head Bozo on the Homeland school bus heading towards Crawford, “Travelers are supposed to act like cattle going to the slaughterhouse”. So any deviation away from such criteria, it means time for a check-up, bend-over! Be it known to the experts, an angry face is an accepted expression. Now if you were happy in the beginning of your travel day, you won’t be by the time you make it through the line-up. Man, what a career! In Canada, the locals make fun of the logging truck drivers, that it is the only job they are worthy of, scarring the dickens out of tourists heading up the Alaskan Highway. Supposedly, this scare routine without a costume is one job up on a TSA watchman. See, many of the residents around this one site I was working at are expatriates. Basically, draft dodgers from the Vietnam era. So they have by now raised families and their kids know all about America. “How come you can’t say Merry Christmas”, they ask? See, they would like to go back home but can’t understand this religious zealous crap cast down upon the Lord! When you ask them about the amnesty program, they laugh all the way to the puke bucket. Anyway the U.S. government spent zillions on this FART project, but forgot one thing. See, the people who were stuck in a vault wearing a straight-jacket and were required to think up this crap could in no way shape or form be happy humans. So being unhappy and so dedicated to the cause to make everybody else unhappy, they forgot about Christmas! Really, the other day as I traveled between Canada and entered U.S. controlled soil, the FART was out of control. That smell! Could have been that somebody opened up a “Fruit Cake”. So to deal with this out-of-control situation, the TSA went “Code Red” into Phase II anger management, resorting to stealing Christmas toys. Remember, if they are unhappy, it means travelers are happy, so it takes a turn for the worse. Think about it. If they can make a little kid angry, then the parents become angry, like killing three birds with one “Fruit Cake”. Really, my traveling buddy had this little teensy-weensy Cresent wrench that was a replica of a real tool, but in reality a key chain. “Ah sorry Mister, as this is a real tool. And real tools could be used to dismantle the plane during flight. So, I have to confiscate it.” Talk about anger management. This was a joke, NOT. About the only thing that this toy tool could have disassembled were the back-rest “trays”. Actually, maybe we could have fixed all the loose and broken ones! Is TSA doing aircraft maintenance on the side? Anyway, it was good to see that the TSA was overwhelmed by the good tidings and joys of happy travelers during this year’s holidays. Now talk about gift exchanging! I have a collection of at least a hundred TSA bumper stickers. Many that were at one time placed neatly in the confines of my luggage’s belongings, like to say, “we opened your bags, ha-ha”! So now I place a “gift” right on top of everything else, something that must be disturbed in efforts to see if any good stuff can be “confiscated” by permission of the head Bozo – soiled UNDERWEAR it is! A present that I purposely leave out in efforts to get the TSA inspectors sign of approval and get them thinking that a job as a log truck driver seems more encouraging each and every day. Bottom line, I don’t like some unknown going through my briefs when it seems they have the authority to confiscate things they believe can take down a plane. The other day, some asshole’s luggage hit the tarmac that held a bunch of lighters, in easy view! Talk about a ticking time-bomb. See, if this can get by the inspectors, then surely fruit cake can be stowed away. That stuff can be used as a weapon, like a Billy-club. And imagine if it ever ignited. You thought the Chicago fire was bad business. What a concept I just thought of, as the wine is giving me a buzz. See, I had a short flight from Vancouver to Seattle. The flight attendant passed out free wine, but told us to guzzle it down! The TSA could offer up “fruit cake” during the holidays, as part of the FARTER program, the “ER” meaning “Extended Reach”. Such an offering - at the taxpayers’ expense - would indeed keep everybody angry. So as Simpson once said, “Eat my shorts” TSA! And hope that you enjoy next year's “Fruit Cakes”.

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact:
Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Blunder Thunder

Blunder Thunder from Down-under
I honestly believe that there exists a down-under belief wherein some think that the most important thing about political office “term limits” is a ways and means to keep the unemployment line not their own concern. What I am getting at is this. You are an individual that hates work and therefore have been successful in weaseling your way into a somewhat lucrative employment position that falls under the auspices of either a commission, agency or that of an authority, basically an entity surviving on a free-for-all budget wherein the money “granted” to such is supposed to provide some benefit to men, women and children in need. You also cherish the position because it includes free luncheons. Call it what you like besides welfare, but it is exactly that, disguised as “research” in many cases. Bottom line, the work wages are part of the welfare equation. In fact, some well-known agencies have an employment budget greater then the giveaway program! Something wrong with this picture, as the equation seems to be out of kilter? Now not all such entities under the latter descriptive are guilty of what is challenged herein, but it seems that unaccountability creep is making headway in efforts to curtail ethics, just like the political scene. I come from the state – Alaska – that has the best of the best of un-ethical politicians. Ted and Don and MoanaLisa, wow, what a duo. Isn’t Ted and Don the same individual? They are so much alike. And MoanaLisa, isn’t she a clone between Frank and Annabel? Or was it Maggie? Anyway, your commission hasn’t yet expired, so your agency or authority is given a mission statement. Say for example, to provide alternative energy to the Alaskan bush. Now with term limits in effect for the governorship for instance - wherein that person in charge most likely controls the purse strings - why worry about ever accomplishing that mission that you are supposed to be engaged upon? You could put yourself out of a job! It happens all of the time here in Alaska, thy welfare state extraordinaire. It started a long time ago, with statehood, as besides loss of territorial freedom, it meant time to call the bluff of the American taxpayers and claim third-world status. Seems this state was better off under the “indivisible and freedom for all” mentality, when marijuana was still legal. Needless to say, comes the next and the next and then the next, this time around a vogue governor, all trying to find something in efforts to gain the voting public’s respect. So “pork” starts to flow all over again to your commission, agency or authority, wherein the “new be” insists once again that the mission not yet accomplished after all these years is crucial to sustain her approval rating, as she is hoping that the Playboy Mansion will be the next open door. Now all the time, the guys and gals that reap big salaries are just counting up another 4-years wherein the only thing accomplished is more of the same nothing. So I guess in reality it is a mission accomplished, George Bush style! Wow, so the Denali Commission is at it again. Answer me this. Just what the hell has this outfit done for you and I after so many years wherein “billions” have been lost? At least unaccounted for. Name one thing that this taxpayer abuse commission has accomplished? So now they are at it again. Whoopee-do as the crocks in-charge have earmarked 8.5-million for once again taking a look at alternative energy for the bush. Here we go again, as this attempt is already a signed sealed and delivered boondoggle, just another wasteful attempt to make a few fat bastards “richer” and do nothing for the bush. This outfit works on the “brother-in-law” rule of thumb. Basically, stick it up everybody else’s you know what. Really, prove to me where this Denali crap has benefited anybody out there? Hey, Hugo offered more relief in the form of heating fuel subsidies for the Alaskan bush. It was more beneficial because it was a direct infusion and didn’t have a bunch of bureaucratic red-tape and bureaucratic brother-in-laws involved. This new but old Denali deal for alternative energy “research” is a joke. In fact a reused joke at that. I bet the money is already earmarked, probably to some bureaucrat’s brother-in-law in a deal of a “term”. Used to be called deal of a century, but why wait for so long. And this Chena Hot Springs project, what a joke! Little does the voting public realize the only reason that this entity “still” exists is in efforts to convince the regulatory board to insist on Golden Valley Electric to run a transmission line that way, at the rate-payers’ expense, so the locals way out there can buy cheaper electricity. This Chena project is in no way shape or form viable economically unless it continues to be floated by government pork. Which it was in the beginning, as no bank or financer would budge on such a crap project. Ted gave away taxpayer money and the outfit that built the contraption ate a bunch of up-front costs associated with this joke. So this guy out at Chena gets a freebie on everybody else’s dime. Sure it is alternative energy, but too costly to accommodate an alternative label. We should take note of what the Native Alaskans realized as free power and the only reliable renewable energy source that is worth beans with no added “pork”. The natives utilized it for their fish wheel propulsion, called river power. So maybe the design and placement of giant fish-wheel like contraptions with giant energy storing flywheels can provide some relief to rising fuel costs, especially along the big rivers like the Yukon and Kuskokwin. Hey, my natural gas prices have sky-rocketed, you don’t hear me complaining except trying to find out what Ben did for the local gas company when he was on the board of hard-ones. So thanks to Ted and Don the commissions and agencies and authorities are at it again, as taxpayer abuse continues unabated and will continue until these two slobs are retired and sitting on a commission… Now we have Ted and Don to thank for the increases in natural gas here in the Anchorage bowl. See, Don forgot who his constituency base was and found himself defending Florida over Alaska. Really, Ted and Don should have said no way to Henry Hub. That is a place down south somewhere where natural gas is priced out of control because Ted said “NO” when the oil executives were supposed to testify under oath with regards to humongous like profits. See, Ted doesn’t believe in any oath except that found in the Corrupt Bastards Club’s code of misconduct. And damn my fellow men and women, our natural gas is a zillion miles away from the “HUB”. Our gas is just that, ours! I don’t need for Henry to make a bunch of money on my resources! Anyway, I think I’ll place a bid in for a chance at that 8-million dollar Denali giveaway and collect a grant like wage and do nothing for the next four years except “research” fish wheels. It is called the research years for nothing else except to put a bunch of paper like crap reports together. Then I will be guaranteed the advancement grant, to research whether or not it is possible to use the fish wheels to store energy. Then it will be time for another governor. Bottom line, I will have succeeded in proving the concept of a perpetual motion money machine. So when it is said and done, I will have a gigantic retirement fund and be able to afford golf lessons down at Coconut Grove. Maybe Don can be my caddy. Now there came a plausible fix to the high cost of energy in the bush, but like Hugo’s attempt to ease the wallet wop from “Big Oil” raping the land for resources then raping us again at the gas pumps, it fell on death ears. See, a foreign outfit wanted to build self-contained nuclear reactors with a ten-year life span, units that could easily be transported into the bush. It was a self-contained unit, so safe as far as safe can be with nuclear stuff. It was a great idea, as it would have created a bunch of hi-tech jobs in a state that would like to see at least one project work, to sustain an employment base. We can’t count “oil” employment anymore as most workers work here but live outside! But even Maggie couldn’t get the slightest hint of approval from the NRC, for allowing these mini and efficient energy units to be placed in the villages. So Hugo came to the rescue, offering subsidized fuel for the taking, no strings attached. So here we go again as Mrs. Vogue is once again becoming the saving grace of the bush by embracing the Denali Commission’s response and also offering up a pot of gold to somebody’s brother-in-law. Like the saying goes, crap in means crap out. And it seems now that the Matanuska Maid is going under, so are the lucrative sponsorships! And who is this Kikee? I thought she was a taster for the milkman. Is she the one that has been trying to win something forever? She must take lessons from people that work for… more of the same nothing. I still run into moms that are pissed that she continues to reign supreme because of something they don’t understand, when all the time there are better athletes out there that should be given a chance. So maybe, just like Maggie, maybe it is time for her retirement also. Let us face the facts, she is old! We never won the Olympics and I don’t see her winning the “gold”. She should step aside and let the young at heart take over the reigns to Olympic stardom. But it means finally getting a job! So maybe she can get a job at a commission, or an agency or an authority. Talk about “milking” the job.

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Ted "Strom" Stevens

Ted "Strom Thurmond" Stevens Demoted
Wow, all kind of information is readily available at one’s fingertips these days. Herein, fingertips literally means exactly that. When spending time at the keyboard and surfing the Internet – letting your fingers do the walking and the talking! Now Internet traffic is half pornographic and half not, according to a survey made possible by our representatives. I bet some of them enjoyed the “porn” when the survey results came available. It was probably the only time in a long time that Congress went into a late night session without a recess. Members of Congress don’t hang around the House that often, as there is reportedly a rabid skunk still on the loose. Just ask Don Young, as he has been hunting the so called bitch down. Now getting back to that half not that is not nakedness or women in awkward positions, I would speculate that half of the half not fits the “outlandish” profile, basically “trash” talk. Especially from the “blogisphere” domain. There exist some angry people out there! But all in all, it is to be expected with such advancements in technology wherein early on its worth is taken advantage of. Then from the abuse comes control, wherein everybody looses out – with freedoms. But beware, as what you say with those fingertips dancing away to serenade your madness, your opinions, your right to "free speech", it is a tapping time bomb of guilty until proven innocent. See, there is this thing called TDR, for Time Domain Reflectometry. Basically, you send it and the G-men can apprehend it and find out who you are and where you are hiding out. Your whereabouts is easily discovered, as your “Send” command acts as a guided missile fingerprint with a return address. And that “reflectometer” stuff does the pinpointing, by an accurate measurement of the reflective signal source, called the “bit bounce”. On the upbeat side of things, innovation gains favor from new found technologies. And it is this same advancement in technology and innovation fallout that is helping to advance our 1st Amendment Right, to “bear opinion”. So with respect to the truth of the matter over the untrue, there exist several web sites that can be trusted, some not to be trusted. Wikipidea seems to be one that can be trusted. Now visiting a politician’s “Historical” can be a real “eye” opener. I read something of interest the other day, about my very own Alaska state senator, Ted Stevens. I’m sorry, as that word “own” misrepresented the truth in the matter. Politicians “own” US! Egad, and did I really mean to use “my”? Anyway Ted Stevens is under a whole lot of scrutiny these days. What the hell happened along the way that has placed this guy in the crosshairs of the FBI and the IRS? It takes the President to OK such an undertaking. And having to retain the same lawyer that represented Oliver North, well things aren’t to rosy up on the hill. Now according to reliable sources, when he was a student at Bergstrom Air Force Base, during the graduation ceremony back in 1944 an unknown assailant student “booed” the colonel delivering the graduation speech. Now that was rather bold, as these individuals receiving a sheepskin were military men in uniform. It was treason, as this kind of behavior was a ticket to the dungeon of military like incarceration. It meant a direct connection to the “brig” for a long, long time. And you thought Gitmo was brutal! So the entire graduating class – trained as P38 pilots – they never saw action as pilots but were demoted to copilot class only. Rather strange when a war was going on and pilots were badly needed. So I ask, was the entire graduating body disciplined because the colonel was not able to determine the culprit that broke rank and as a body of able bodied recruits, did they decide not to “rat” out their fellowman realizing that silence would no doubt derail one’s career? Or was it Ted himself? Who cares, as true or half true, it is old and outdated news! But Ted never flew as a fighter pilot in combat. I wish the connection herein was clear, but like already mentioned, past garbage. What is more interesting in Ted’s “Historical” is a comment by his brother, Daniel Inouye. Dan is the democratic senator from Hawaii and these two men insist that they are “like” brothers of blood. Anyway, during a recent Senate “Toast” honoring Ted as the longest living senator, Daniel was quoted as saying, “Ted is the Strom Thurmond of the Arctic Circle”. Egad again! What the hell is this guy referring too? This is a hip shot to the chest, a direct and lethal take down. Brotherly love? It is verbal assassination. Strom Thurmond? Is this guy Dan really Ted’s friend? Hey, they are close friends but maybe the saying “stay close to your friends but closer to your enemies” has set precedent with this type of ridicule from the Congressional pulpit. It used to be called a “podium”, but since there is no longer separation of church and state, it is one in the same. Now just ask Trent Lott about Strom. Trent was almost banned from America when he made the comment that this country would have been better off had the voters elected Strom as President. Strom was a pure blooded racist and represented the segregationist platform, even when segregation was a crime against humanity, namely the Negros. Strom’s famous quote is as follows, “All the laws of Washington and all the bayonets of the army cannot force the Negro into our homes, our schools, our churches. We stand for the segregation of the races.” See, these imbeciles say anything they want, and get away with it. Sure Trent was sent to the sidelines for a spell, but his comeback was swift and quick. So maybe, just maybe it was Ted that “booed” the colonel, as it seems to be how politicians represent these days, by ridicule and no penance for such malfeasance. I guess it is just free speech! Just ask Don Young about “Rabid Skunks”. Now since we are having a history lesson, we must remember that besides a bonafide racist, Strom was the single individual who had the power and the insane vision to start a campaign against John Lennon, for deportation. I am writing this on the anniversary eve of John’s arrest. That occurred on December 9th, many years ago at age 40, when some imbecile shot John down in cold blood in America’s “Heart-beat” city. Cities are the “pulse” of America, so what happens therein has a carry over effect. Now I don’t bite the bait associated with conspiracy theories, but have to conclude that John’s assassination fit a classic “conspiracy” makeover. Why? First off, he was a socialist with money and power and above all respected “women’s” rights. The FBI started a campaign to collect dirt on this genuine peacenik, but with everything that was collected against John, it was nothing that John Lawman could have used to send the “War is over if you want it” Beetle back home. It was wasted time, money and efforts to demonstrate that the Nixon era was an era of misfits. Dan Quayle was the last clone from that era, the “potatoe” head mentality generation. What a depressing gang of creeps. Anyway, Ted is under close observation by the FBI and the IRS and who knows by whom else, maybe the CIA! So, I wonder if Daniel was wrong when he compared Ted to Strom. Maybe with an active “FBI File”, Ted is a lot like John? Of course, Ted was not a socialist, but a separatist’s socialist. What I mean by that is the fact that he catered to a segregated class that wanted it all, so it was maybe more in tune to a Marxist like attitude. Guys like Ted despised “Communism”, yet their actions to intimidate the voting public and inactions to limit lobbyists’ lobotomies upon the masses – more like sodomy – was testament to a class all of their own, at the taxpayers expense. What was good for most of the country treated as peasants was nothing when compared to what was good for “Buddies”, corrupt buddies that made it clear and convincing that “Corrupt Bastards” run this country, now headed into the ground. And MoanaLisa, Ted’s sidekick – literally – made a few comments during the “Toast”, that makes one want to laugh all the way to the puke bucket. According to MoanaLisa – Alaska’s nepotism Senator select – Ted was “inextricably tied” to the state of Alaska. I think she meant that the people of Alaska are by now “exhaustedly tired” of Ted. And no MonaLisa, we do not like to call him “Uncle Ted”. We are AMERICAN’s and despise political corruption, don’t you get it, yet? So someday, maybe we can apply for a FOIA request and see what is in that secret file held hostage by the FBI with Ted’s name written all over. But why waste our time, as Ted is already proved his non-innocence and without a doubt guilty of something in the eyes of the taxpayers. Now being a peacenik, John gained the privilege to be poetic, basically knowing what to do with the “word”. Idiots like Strom and Trent and Don “Billy Goat” Young abused the “word”, making free-speech a joking matter. So in honor of John beating Strom’s attack and in honor of us beating the segregationists’ attack against our brothers and sisters in the race to equality and in honor of the fact that the people will soon beat back the “Strom of the Arctic Circle”, hear the true word that echoes out a warning. “Woman is the nigger of the world…yes she is. If you don’t believe me, take a look around you”. This has meaning that reverberates around the world today and everyday as long as inequities of race and prosperity are controlled by the “Corrupt Bastards”. And as far as name-calling like “Rabid Skunk”, why not just use the “N” word Don? And Ted, if you indeed boo-hoo’d the colonel that day back in 1944, well we are booing at you these days, a sound that will be heard for a long, long time - as it takes time to forgive! And true Alaskan’s don’t mind admitting to it, that honesty is thy best policy. Ted, did you ever hear that one? Do us a favor, recite it 13,990 times, for all the days you selfishly represented special interests over the interests of America.

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Merry Xmas Ted!

Merry Christmas Ted!
So Ted, you made your THIRD trip to the Iraqi theater of war. Whoopee zippity-doo-dah! I guess you have been busy talking your way out of the Corrupt Bastard’s probe. That is probably more important then trying to find a way away from George’s mess. How is son Ben doing? Rumor has it that he is plea bargaining his way out of the Alaskan political scandal. I guess taking others down is the only power the “runt” has left and all he will ever see his way again. Anyway, according to what you witnessed in Iraq, “the surge had worked” and our young kids “are on their way home. They’re going to go home”. Wow, in time for Christmas? And how many? Maybe if the military planes heading back to America are overcrowded – as is the norm this time of year – would you consider giving your seat away? Maybe your BFBBLAT buddy Daniel can do the same. It could go down in your memoirs, as nothing short of a “Good Samaritan” gesture considering all of your other memorabilia was taken away by the IRS. But it is good news to hear that the troops are finally coming home. To a failed economy wherein more and more Americans are becoming homeless, ripped off by the mortgage scandal and all of us facing the high price of crude oil, all because of the cost of your stupid war or remiss in your paid and sworn duty to protect our interests - over your own. Answer me this. How come you would not let the oil executives testify “under” oath when you called them in front of Congress about humongous profits and all time high gasoline price fixing? And how in hell did so many Americans get ripped off with the mortgage scandal, under your watch? And you know what, from what you are just finding out in your most recent trip abroad to a war torn country, it seems as though you were a “Republican Politician Left Behind”, as most school kids here in Alaska know about the “tribe concept” and culture in Iraq. Where the hell have you been for the last 4-years of this conflict? Hey, can we get reimbursed for the money we paid out to you for a salary? Wasn’t there a warranty? Anyway, Merry Christmas Ted, and try this John Lennon song out - for penance. Sing it faithfully during the 31-days of December and we will forgive your incompetence and dereliction of representation. But please, pretty please don’t right a book about your time in Congress as we are already inundated with enough political memoirs wherein it is a book consisting of nothing more then “pages intentionally left blank”:

And so this is Xmas
And what have we done
Another year over
A new one just begun
And so happy Xmas
We hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

Come on now, everybody sing along with Ted. Hey Don, care to join in? MoanaLisa, you too! And Frank…

A very Merry Xmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
WAR IS OVER, IF YOU WANT IT
WAR IS OVER NOW.

Happy Xmas!

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

U.S.S. MoanaLisa

Heist of the U.S.S. MoanaLisa
Hey righteous citizens of the 49th state, be on the look out for some $55,000,000.00 missing from the U.S. Treasury Department. Rumor has it the money was last seen on Ted Steven’s behind closed doors desk specifically dedicated to appropriated misgivings. OK, it was money earmarked for yet another taxpayer rip-off. Ted tries hard. At what, I am still trying to come to grips with – so is he now that his peace and quiet has been interrupted by FBI and IRS agents knocking at the door of his charitable donation remodeled house up here in Alaska. Do you have any idea what it takes for John Lawman to get permission to raid and search a sitting duck’s residence? I meant sitting senior senator. But Ted is smart, as he hired the best and most expensive lawyer that specializes in nothing other then, “Presidential” pardons! And another clue to this mystery disappearance of precious payola, is the scent of TEA! So that could mean a trace of evidence that Don Young knows something of interest with respect to this heist. But nobody seems to know his whereabouts. Last time he went spotted was down in some coconut grove. Could it be that he suffers from confusion from a coconut bounce off the head? Or maybe from the side effects of being bit by a rabid skunk? What the hell is so important in Florida over what is important in his own state? OK, this “missing money” was really set aside in efforts to help create a sustainable infrastructure in Alaska – thy “Welfare” state extraordinaire. But in actuality and like usual, it was just more of the same crap, wherein it shows that ethics in politics is a lost cause. So in my book, this missing money amounts to grand theft lunacy. Just what the hell is going on with my hard earned money that is penalized with a tax burden so Ted and Don can continue their destructive ways and means? Pork unlimited for a sustainable infrastructure has been the dream of all dreams, but it has been the same bad dream since statehood, as this state is still way behind many third world nations when it comes to toilet flushing. And how much have the taxpayers paid out in efforts to design a tundra toilet? Nobody seems to know, but an awful lot. And the entire state of oppression was all part of the Three Stooges’ plan – a.k.a. Ted, Don and Frank. It is still all in the family, as Frank bailed out and left his daughter in charge of his own failed senate seat. What did she do to dad to deserve such inhumane treatment? Isn’t cruel and unusual treatment against the Constitution? Oh, I heard someone voice, “What Constitution”? I second that emotion, as our rights are eroding away faster then is coastline from global Goring. Then again, maybe Frank believed in once a failure always a failure wherein MoanaLisa was the best candidate to keep the tradition going. For one thing, she hasn’t failed at real estate swindling deals. Maybe, instead of calling representatives just that, “Swindlers” would be a better fit. Back to the money theft. Why is it that Ted feels it necessary to steal away my money just to waste on this thing called the E-craft? It is a boondoggle! The Navy – who was threatened to build this contraption or else would be required to paint all war ships pink – already rejected the concept and according to FOIA documents, “had nothing to do with the funding request”. But according to reliable informants, that is where the money is hiding. Ted had the money earmarked under the defense department budget, in the beyond ridiculous category that has a bunch of fine print nobody dears to read. You know what Ted, why not “not” waste the money and give the kid troops a raise – for fighting your stupid war? I am sorry again, you don’t understand “stupidity”. Hey, understand this, it is my hard earned money and should be used in return for hard work, not some gift to produce more Alaskan crap. Ted, Don and MoanaLisa have no idea what it is like to work “hard” for a living. So they feel wasting is justified under false pretences. In my judgment, theft and taxpayer abuse by our own representation is one in the same. It is abuse that should be made accountable for. And why continue the wasting? Especially up here in Alaska, as this state can’t even keep a milk dairy afloat. And it has nothing to do with economics. Let us face the facts. For all those” Alaskans Left Behind”, the Matanuska Colonists proved that a farming community – eggs and milk included – was possible. That was before statehood, so welfare handout was not an option or interest. See, many with and without intelligence - true Americans and politicians respectfully - realize that welfare “interest” is not worth the bother. Herein this “interest” thing equates to what we have to payout in return for theft legislation, our votes! Welfare keeps us hostage, so we have no option except to vote the thieves in time after time after time forever. That is the real reason Frank gave the seat to MoanaLisa, as it will be just more of the same, theft for re-lection. Back to statehood verses territorialism. Everything was going Frontiersman like until Ted and Don came upon the scene. How in hell did we get stuck with these two misfits? And the theft mentality runs rampant like a virus, as the Alaskan citizens cannot get a tax increase right here in their own backyard wherein the ground below is saturated with “Black Gold”. Here it is in plain English. We want more corporate taxation because it makes the PFD bigger. But “Big Nancy” - a.k.a. “Big Oil” - cries like a bunch of spoiled politicians. So politicians steal away our hard earned money and “Big Nancy” steals away our resources. Anyway, my preliminary calculation is off a wee bit on the theft affiliated with the officiated construction of this E-craft. That $55-million that has gone missing from Uncle Sam Adams is more to the tune of 3-times that amount. But it creates jobs, about 50 – or to the benefit of about “1” one thousandth of the present day Alaskan population. So why not just pay the workers off? It would be cheaper then creating cheap job prospects that have no future. Just give them a million dollars a piece. Then they would never be heard of again. Anyway, why in hell is the Navy being forced to build something it doesn’t want? You know what, the way Don and Ted force crap down our throats in the form of corrupt bastard like crap, these guys should be called the chokesters! Talk about a crying shame, we’ve all been deep-throated! Look guys – MoanaLisa take note – we don’t want the bridges or this crap or that crap or your memoirs. And the E-craft boondoggle to date is hilarious. Sorry, I am laughing so damn hard, but when you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel of waste, it is so sickening one must laugh. OK, enough is enough. Then just how much is it really costing the taxpayers for this outrageous E-Crap amphibious assault craft that will be abandoned as a military asset and turned into a passenger ferry. First off, I petition that the hull be named “MoanaLisa”. All in favor, “MOAN”. And according to Mr. Phineas J. Whoopee’s 3D magical board, Point McKenzie to Anchorage is only a 3-mile excursion. That will be this piece of crap’s one and only water route mission. This E-crap U.S.S. Moan-more-Lisa can reach speeds of 30-knots. So whoopee, the voyage will be fast and furious and everybody will end up in the hospital with whip lash! It will be a genuine terror like ride. This ride could be Alaska’s first amusement park ticket, another tourist trap, as nobody in Alaska is going to dish out $25-dollars for a ride to nowhere. See, this is Phase I of the bridge to nowhere. There isn’t anything over at the Point except Don Young’s failed wood chip export facility. Ok, I won’t bore you with the specifics, but the dry dock down in Ketchikan - tasked to build the E-crap craft - it had to have the Chinese build the berthing at a tune of $9.5-million. Answer me this simple preliminary question. This is a shipbuilding dock. It means welders and erection guys that dream of.... A welder down there makes only $16.00 dollars an hour? No wonder the outfit that runs the facility can’t build the basic necessities. No way in hell can you keep good qualified help at such a mangy wage, so maybe that is the reason we had to get the Chinese shipbuilders to build the dock! Is there something wrong with me or do I just see things a little out of kilter? The dry dock was necessary in efforts to build the MoanaLisa. But the bid to build the junk had a stipulation that it must be built in Alaska. Again, forced legislation shoved down the Navy brass’ throat. Since when is it that Congress knows more about the military playing field then do the generals? See, that is why we are failing in Iraq and Afghanistan, as the true military genesis have lost control and are being asked to fight a political war. That is why Ted thinks he can boss around the Navy, with this E-craft crap. Now the shipbuilding dry dock has a failed history to begin with. It started back in the 80’s at a cost of $38-million to construct. It closed down in 91, because the line up of private operators experienced operational and financial difficulties! Basically, they weren’t getting rich quick enough. So the DOT gave the failure to the AIDEA. Now when this latter outfit gets involved, it is for a wasteful reason. See, this Guardian Devil is responsible for a huge chunk of the permanent dividend and can spend “our” money like there is no tomorrow. It all started back in the days of some brain-pinching device. I think it worked, on those responsible for running and ruining government. But it didn’t go anywhere as even the Russians considered it cruelty. With this and that in mind, this E-craft thing has failure written all over it! Dah, what do you expect. If you can’t build a berth, you sure the hell can’t build a hi-tech boat. And if you must rely on “grant” giveaway programs, it means up front that it is an economic disaster with no future. Not unless that mainlining money syringe is pointed in the right direction. It is? Now that would make for a great photo-shoot. Ted straddling a giant syringe. Remember when good old America was “good” wherein the business community relied on U.S. subsidized “loans”. But politicians became loan sharks, by getting rid of the “loans” – as that meant payback was required – an opted for pure welfare, in the form of “grants”. The latter requires no pay back, which is just like stealing. I was wrong, there probably is payback - of a different kind involved. That is why our representatives in charge of the money tree are crooks. Bottom line, “We the People” should be replaced by “We the People Screw all the other People”. When outlandish giveaway programs degrade the working classes’ ethics and morals, the people need to start standing up against the rape affair. Just because it creates jobs is a worn out and unwelcome excuse. If it creates a sustainable infrastructure, then I am all for it. See, why build something that has no use, as it continues to provide for a false economy. What’s that? Now this is the icing on the cake. Money for the floating crap was provided through the TEA-91, which is just a fancy and confusing pork giveaway program. I told you Don was consulted about this E-craft to nowhere. This TEA-91 legislation is so complicated for a reason, so nobody in their right mind could figure out why highway funding money is going to coconut groves. And guess what? The selling point for the U.S.S. MoanaLisa was VECO clout! Yes indeed, old Bill “Viagra” Allen had visions that when the high-speed ferry assaulted the pocketbooks of the taxpayers and ends up in the Port of Anchorage, it was for a purpose. Hey, about the only thing Bill liked assaulting was the legislative branch down Juneau way. He was pretty good at it. Anyway, Bill envisioned his company would ferry workers over to the Point every morning in efforts to build “modules” for the North Slope oil infrastructure. For some 30-years by now, the oil industry has relied on importing processing modules form other places. In all those years, guess how many were built in Alaska. ONE! And now that the oil fields are petering out, how many modules are needed? And you know as well as I that “Big Oil” would pick China over doing business here in Alaska. The ferry filled with craft workers heading over to the Point to build stuff is just a big pipe dream, a leaking pipe at that. So now that VECO is gone, isn’t this proof enough that the E-craft and the bridge are just that, proof that we have fools fooling around with our money. About the only future prospectus for this high-speed amphibious blunder is a quick escape vessel, for the corrupt bastards. But because of the delays in delivering the desperately needed vessel – as delays also make bigger bucks – it will most likely be too late. So maybe it can be used in a more beneficial way. In efforts to get Ted, Don, MoanaLisa, Frank and the rest of the crooks out of our sight as the huddled masses are sick, we are tired, we are weary and have had enough of political corruption, especially Alaskan style! So beware, as the MoanaLisa will soon be another failed eyesore taking refuge at some lonely dock, just another for the list. Hey what ever happened to the fish processing plant blunder built here in Anchorage? Oh, it was sold to a church, with an AIDEA discount. This state does indeed need a prayer! More like a miracle, called secession for success.

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

"Fish On" Targeted

“Fish On” Targeted
I apologize for the tardiness of this writing, but research has kept me busy. See, the Alaska Aerospace and Development Corporation is requesting bids on an X-Band secret weapon that targets “Small Boats”. Reality real, according to the Request For Quotations, as it specifically lists “Small Boats” under the “TARGETS” profile requirements - so it must have something to do with the Homeland’s Star Wars Waste Initiative and in accordance with Don’s theory of diminishing returns – Young that is. Don’t you just love it when the “Taxpayers Against Waste Rape” gang up on Don’s pilferage of the Treasury. Anyway, because I enjoy secret weapons that target small boat owners - acting out my “Big Brother” fantasy - I decided to place a bid, as anything that has to do with this outfit or the Kodiak Launch Facility, it must be a money making proposition for crooks when at the same time a money loosing proposition for the taxpayers. In word restricted lingo – political crap, a.k.a. Don Young and Ted Stevens’ style pilferage. So find below an official response for the AADC bid. P.S. If I win the bid it means free coconuts for all Alaskans not in good standing with Don, Ted or MoanaLisa!
~~~~~
AADC RFQ as found on corporation’s website:

RFQ No: AADC-08-008
Best Net Price: X Band Radar
Range: 20 nautical miles(air), 10 nautical miles(Marine)
TARGETS: Light Aircraft and Small Boats
Mean Time Between Failure: 1-year
Design Life: 10-years
Mean Time Before Repair: 3-days

Proposal Submitted by:
SPAM United Associates
P.O. Box 722069
Anchorage, Alaska 99513

Proposal submitted, herein included, by SPAM United Associates - an Alaskan based company - consists of a modular transportable platform utilizing time tested building blocks, commonly referred to as “LEGOS”. Such a system requires a minimum erection and maintenance skills set(3rd grade level) at the same time provides modifications and updates to be economically feasible. Replacement or additional pieces - either for maintenance or future expansion - from simple to complex “block” components are readily available for purchase at Toys’R Us as well as on E-bay. Two versions of the blocks are available, American and Non-American. The blocks are interchangeable. Since bidder is proposing a modified version of the intended RFQ, the required range – both nautical air and nautical marine – can be achieved under any conditions as the transportability allows the X-Band module to be relocated with ease. The module can also be moved to places like Juneau, wherein the “Target” of interest there may be a “Small Politician” named Ben. This may assist the FBI in its current “Corrupt Bastards” sting operation – still ongoing. The module is based on the Lego 452 Mobile Tracking System developed in 1979. In efforts to achieve modularity that allows human occupancy, a multiplication index is utilized. That index varies from 259 to 444. Depending on the size of the operator – the obesity factor – the index becomes the bid price deciding factor. So it is too your advantage to hire healthy workers. The index will also define the X-Band frequency. With an index of 259(healthy human) the frequency to spy on small boats minding their business equals 7GHz. At an index of 444(obese), this equates to a frequency of 12GHz. As far as the Mean Time Between Failures, to date there exists over 109 satisfied customers with 452’s still in operation. The American version enjoys an 83% approval rating while the “Non-American” version enjoys a 90% service factor. The only difference is the uniforms supplied to the personnel. With the American version, red white and blue is the preferred colors. If the “Non-American” version is preferred – because of the 90% rating – the buyer picks the colors. Both ratings should suffice for AADC as only on rare occasions will the radar actually be required, as nobody with a brain fires rockets from the KLF. Regardless, the actual X-Band targeting system shall consist of the Lego “Mindstorms” RIS platform, a.k.a Robot Instruction Set. This time proven technology provides a MicroSoft Windows based platform and designed by National Instruments and utilizing “LabVIEW”. The system is programmed using Robolab GUI-based language. To date, successful projects of interest utilizing this code are Alpha Rex, Spike and RoboArm. As a matter of interest, an automatic toilet cleaning robot was demonstrated using this same technology. An added benefit of this proposal consists of the following: Official Lego magazine which includes “Cool Creations”, building tips and Event Central. Also, the creativity and block design allows the mobile tracker to be transformed into other useful items, such as a combine harvester, tractor or bulldozer. It allows putting your investment, in this case the citizens of Alaska assets, to good use above and beyond that set forth in the RFQ. Bidder’s deliverables meets or exceeds all stipulations as set forth in the RFQ. Additionally, free membership in the Lego Club is extended at no additional charge to AADC board of directors. The manufacturing site meeting - as spelled out in the RFQ - will be held at LegoLand, Florida. This is an amusement type theme park that should fit well with AADC’s “mission statement” of no accomplishments – except wasting money at the same time having fun ripping off the taxpayers. Also, there exists a wide network of Lego aficionados and on-line support resources that can be contacted via the Internet for technical advise and advice. Bidder also recognizes the following individuals as bonafide staff consultants: Mr. Phineas J. Whoopee along with his updated 3D Magical Drawing Board, Tennessee Tuxedo and of course Chumley. With this RFQ, bidder provides the following deliverables:

Blocks, pads, frames, chassis components as required.
1 U.S.G. Gorilla Glue(Earthquake Cement)
2 AA Batteries
Instruction Set
Building Plans

Firm Bid Price is as follows:
259 X-Band Module(Healthy Human) = $3750.00{Delivered}
444 X-Band Module(Obese Human) = $6660.00{Delivered}

Bidder’s proposal far exceeds the requirements of the RFQ and with that in mind, SPAM United Associates should be the recipient of this RFQ.

Respectfully Submitted on this 15th day of November, 2007
SPAM MaGee for SPAM United Associates
~~~~~
Ok, so you may think I ate one too many pieces of fruit-cake while researching this X-Band Small Boat Targeting “crap” and that this type of wasted time and effort was just that – wasted! Wrong, as each bid must be taken seriously or an appeal allows holding the entire damn program hostage for a long, long time. That is the key to this type of shenanigans. Better yet, it is not shenanigans but a duty for individuals to uphold the rights of those citizens that have not the time or no longer the willpower to do so. Bottom line, this is way to attack the waste machine. In fact it is a way to target the military machine. If we cannot pay the young troops fighting in Iraq a decent wage – compared to BlackWater Jack militants – then it is time for the machine to get a tune-up. With the 1st and 2nd Amendments so secure, I don’t need Rumsfeld like mentality protecting my interests. That interest is my wallet! Now for the most part, the military machine - along with all of the waste that exists just to make a few CEOs more rich and powerful - it must be procured through the “bidding” process. So that is the key to getting a crappy state of affairs turned around. They feed us crap, crap we feed them back! So if it requires a bid, then Americans should be paper storming the bidding offices from coast to coast with bogus “SPAM” bids, so we can be heard. A bid just cannot be ignored. So get on the internet and see what kinds of bids are presently on the solicit list. Then with a little ingenuity, send in a bid and be prepared to appeal the process. In fact send in bids in every language possible, as most do not specify a language. So it cannot just be ignored because it is in Arabic! Or Pig Latin! This “Spamming” is intended to bog down the system. Now my bid – using Toy Technology – has merit. When we were kids and played out our war fantasies with toy cowboys and Indians, it allowed a trial and error setting, so the outcome could be calculated, which meant screw this battlefield stuff as the Playboy magazines were more interesting – especially with stories about Vietnam and how the administration lied to my mom and dad. Deja vu what? Maybe that is what this present day administration – congress included – should play with, TOYS, before sending real live young kids over to patrol the streets of an unfriendly country. Yes indeed, it is time to get even. So while “Spamming” the military bidding system, send the president some toy soldiers, maybe a few with splattered red paint. While you are at it, send some baby pacifiers. Of course, George may enjoy the Legos, as he seems not to have had the opportunity to enjoy playing out cowboys and Indians and toy soldier. And you know what? His war bid was just that, bogus as my bid!

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Yellow Matter Custard

Yellow Matter Custard
It is interesting these days to read the comments from the local blogisphere here in Alaska. We are a bit spacey. Just what the heck is that giant egg like thing down in town square supposed to be all about? Every time I see it I want to sing the Beatles tune about “yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eye”. Is that mold? And this odd looking half-egg half-unknown, it talks to thin air. Whose voice is that? It almost sounds like ex-governor Frank’s. Maybe that is where he is hiding these days. And along Westchester Lagoon, these weird like postings again provide information about the space above. Only problem, when it is clear outside it usually means summertime, which means too damn much light to see out into space. And in winter, it is too damn cold to stay out and look at something that is really nothing but far away. So what is with this space fanaticism here in the “Welfare State”. OK, the “Corrupt Bastards” state of denial. Oh, that’s right as I almost forgot. See, we became a famous talked about state because of that female astronaut that was chasing that space shuttle astronaut guy around the country. She liked wearing diapers! The dude was from Alaska. So we are all guilty by association. Now everybody wants to be an astronaut. Hey, this state can’t even keep a railroad running in the “red”, so do we really want to take to the high country over the “moose gooser” land is ahoy? Were already high, as there exists this eyesore on Kodiak Island that sucks the coffers dry for over a million dollars a year - just for maintenance upkeep to shoot up and away one measly non-money making rocket. To reiterate, once a year! See, no commercial entities have stepped forward claiming an interest in shooting off rockets from some place way up and out in the middle of nowhere. But the state cut a deal with the military, so our only customers are those seeking a freebie, maybe once or twice a year. So the cost to launch a rocket is $500,000 dollars in a good year, usually more then the rocket’s payload cost. Man, what else could we do with that money? Oh yes, buy sunglasses for all the village kids. See, some outfit must have lost some lucrative aerospace contract, as they have a bunch of leftover sunglasses used by astronauts, even the ones that like wearing diapers. We can’t seem to get away from this space odyssey bullcrap. So the “Special” effects glasses were donated to the village kids, as somebody in their infinite wisdom said “snow” blindness was rampart. I wonder if the glass donator ever talked to the elders? Now what about all the rest of the village kids that live up and down the Yukon or Koyukuk? Time to make a call to the Denali Commission. I hear they have a bunch of extra cash to burn. I believe the Denali Commission would be more appropriately called the Denali Omissions Commission, as nobody knows - or admits - what happens to the money it gets from Ted and Don. Even Ted said he didn’t take responsibility for the money once it gets lost in Alaska. Anyway, I am at the airport once again. I dread getting on a plane these days. I think garter belts should be a prerequisite to travelers, so those that pay for an entire seat get just that, instead of a fraction of the seat real estate. I was sitting next to a lady that just had to spend $5.00 on that “Grey Box Delight” and of course what would the mystery meat sandwich be without a can of Pringles, for another $5.00. Hey get this chatter that was overheard in the privacy of a nearby cell-phone conversation between some airline industry executives. The airlines don’t make “crap” anymore with 1st class passengers, as most seats are purchased as upgrades. So with a zillion miles to go before the freebie thing runs out of gas, the airlines see great loses in that privileged class once upon a time moneymaker. So guess who is paying for it? The roach coach class! And today on this plane heading south to where it is a little on the warmer side, 1st class seems to be a bunch of oil field workers, the ones that BP swears lives in the state! Can’t blame them to occupy the “bigger bottom” seat cushions, as they all could use girdles. Even though BP cut down on pipeline maintenance up north, no way in hell would they cut down on calories! Glad they are up front then back here. Anyway, this lady was gouging herself on the airline barf buffet and at the same time trying to read the Anchorage’s Daily Stool’s “Life” section, titled “Out of Obesity”. What really gets me is the fact that it is really only 9:00 am Alaska time. But just because we are going to the Twin Cities and afforded a time change of 3-hours, does that warrant that it is already lunch time? I made breakfast this morning, at 4am. It consisted of eggs with sun dried tomatoes, red and yellow peppers and rosemary toast. And I even had enough time to write and publish a “Blog Blurb”. I am not hungry and I don’t need a girdle. This lady needs a straight jacket. And on the paper, there was this giant picture of Mac fries. I think she was thinking about eating the paper! Anybody got some extra salt? How come the newspapers’ editors haven’t caught wind of a very profitable product – reduced sized newspapers? Probably because they always fly 1st class so have no idea what it is like trying in vain to read a paper that is two airline seats wide. What gets me, the last dozen flights that I have taken with any and all airlines always gets to the destination on time, as they are under the microscope from congress. So they put the pedal to the metal, just to say we made it. At the same time, you sit in the plane as the outgoing plane is still at the gate. Today we made it to the Twin Cities just in time for lunch. The captain was no overwhelmed that we were 20-minutes early. Hey, doesn’t the early bird deserve the worm? But we had to wait it out in a dangerous location, between two active runways, just so the departing plane could depart on time. So I am sure the statistics will be skewed in efforts to support the airlines favor, with early arrivals ironing out the late comers. But why is everybody in such a hurry these days? Slow down a bit. Cook breakfast instead of mainlining “crap”. Relax and write a “blog blurb”. And when in Anchorage, enjoy the last few hours wherein that airport will bear the namesake of Ted Stevens, as it is only a matter of time before it will be a name embarrassment. Or visit a real live space odyssey, called the Bill “NoseBleed” train depot, right across the street from the airport terminal. But don’t waste time putting a penny on the tracks, as space and time will cease to exist before a train ever makes it that way again. I hope the next new locomotive purchased by the railroad has a striking name, like the “NoseBleed Special”. Now talk about straight jackets, we need a bunch down Juneau way! Wow I just noticed something of interest on my return trip back to Anchorage, the airliners no longer put that white linen thing between 1st and sardine class. Now it consists of this “netting” material, like one uses when out camping. And the peasants can see all the wine and dine action. What do you mean I can’t get a cup of hot coffee? Sorry, we only have cold drinks aboard this plane. Then what the hell is that guy up front drinking? And how come the 1st class bandits get to use the peasant’s bathroom but not so the other way around? Bottom-line, segregation was outlawed a long time ago on land so should be the same when airborne – especially now that I am paying for it. Hey, a bug just landed on my arm. It is rather strange looking. It looks like a mosquito but has three drills instead of one. And when we were in Alaska, the plane needed a hose down with that deicing stuff, as it is cold - so all the bugs have died off. Now this weird bug reminds me of BP, wherein they sink a multilateral well from one land ahoy location but suck out three times as much oil, but still end up paying up for only “one” well. And this bug has a mate stuck up its ass. At first I thought it was a politician with a lobbyist. Hey, that netting is for a reason. This plane is infested with bugs that are mating. And everyone up here thought only the FBI fooled with “bugs”!

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Thrifty Journalism

The Rest of the Story
OK, according to thrifty journalism “Big Oil” is treading new ground as “International Trend” setting by sovereign governments is closing in on the rape like shenanigans considered in the beginning exploratory but as usual ends up exploiting. That is what happened up here in Alaska, once a territory turned welfare state. See, before oil this state was a territory. Where law and order meant just that. Case in point. There was a marshal ferrying a rapist from Juneau to Anchorage. The felon had to pee and the only place to put down the two-passenger plane was on a glacier out in the middle of nowhere. So the felon got his wish. But he had other plans, to escape. The marshal wasn’t concerned when the felon went running across the glacier. The last thing the marshal remembered was watching the idiot fall into a crevasse! The marshal said the funniest thing he ever saw as a lawman was watching this guy wave from way down deep in a freezer. Rescue? There the rapist remained. True story. Now when oil was found, a few “corrupt bastards” made damn sure that “territorial” status was no longer an option, so they campaigned for statehood. Why? Because they realized that without “institutionalized” law and order, the oil companies would not get away with rape. So they opted to “represent” this state as part of the Union. Wherein law and order is justified, so is welfare. So the welfare came this way in big “Ted & Don” sized bags and the oil companies got away with rape. True story. For those of you not in the MSNBC mode of appeals, “Thrifty Journalism” is defined as “selective” journalism, wherein an editor can spin even the spin, by only providing the main ingredients and leaving the secret seasoning to be just that, secret. It is most likely filled with MSG and other nasty good tasting stuff. So you don’t want to let the cat out of the bag, thus the “thrifty” coverage rules. Anyhow, so Big Oil” has it tough going forward, as some of the majors are finding out that governments - we the people - want their fair share of the resourceful wealth. That is the only thing behind the present day skyrocketing oil prices, everybody wants their share. It used to be the oil companies that hauled off the resources and turned it into loot, when all the time the land and resource owners settled for a pittance on the true worth. Not so anymore though. Now according to the Daily Stool’s AP article titled “High Prices Fuel Debate Over Oil Tax” - which definitely falls under “thrifty journalism” - the “Big Ones” are finding out that the grass isn’t greener in others’ back yards. Not in Russia, not in Venezuela, not in Siberia, not in Canada and soon - hopefully - not here in Alaska! I hope Sarah’s wish comes true. Kick ass and tax the hell out of BP! So when Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez is the only one signaled out by name and rank, it amounts to this “Thrifty Journalism”. This article doesn’t come clean with others in power, painting only this guy as a hard-ass. He is no different then Putin, with respect to his county’s resource protectionism. And answer me this, why are jets from Elmendorf scrambling Bear Bombers these days – just off the coast of Alaska? I thought the cold war was done with for now. So this current day flack over Venezuela has to be expanded upon, as this article falls way short in efforts to educate those interested in the knowledge. I am not trying to defend Hugo, even though he keeps the big “Citgo” sign in Boston well lit up, especially during the World Series! And he gave a bunch of cheap heating fuel to villagers along Alaska’s coast, just like he did for the elderly on the east coast of UNITED STATES. This “offer-in-kind” must be an embarrassment to the Bush administration! Now contrary to “thrifty journalism” opinion, “Big Oil” companies that were working in Venezuela were not just kicked out of country, like happened to “Big Oil” in Kadafy’s Libya - pronounced like Wubbya - some years back. In Venezuela, Hugo did “statenize” oil, but offered those operating in country a “slice of the pie”. First, those with an interest and investment were offered a 43% partnership. They had 100% to begin with, so it was some semblance of a loss, but not rape. And they were paid for their investment either way, if they opted to stay or cried like babies and packed their bags. At first some of the “Big Ones” like EXXON just left, while others re-evaluated the partnership. It was still lucrative. But faced with Cheney mentality and maybe due to some kind of closed-door dealings that would allow “Big Oil” to enjoy the Venezuelan loses to be quadrupled with tax incentives, they all decided to leave. But they will be back, as the equipment to build the pipeline infrastructure to carry oil to ports close to the mid-Atlantic’s oil tanker freeway is already on-site and the project is well on its way forward. And bottom line, who pays attention to where the oil is coming from anyway? Bottom-line, It means more cheap gasoline for Chavez’s countrymen and most likely more cheap fuel for Americans! Who do you think supplied all the pumps and drivers for the Venezuelan oil infrastructure and ongoing projects to begin with? And I am sure that petition to turn off the “Citgo” sign is a thing of the past now that the Sox’s have pummeled Colorado! Fenway loves the sign! Anyway, with free time and privacy getting also to be a thing of the past, “Thrifty Journalism” only makes sense. But like anything else, cutting corners has its good side and bad side. In this case, I don’t know if it was planned that way, to discredit Hugo, or just a case of mentality blues. I am sure Cheney was a fan. And I am sure had not this state gone crazy with “statehood” over territorialism, the countrymen and women would also be enjoying cheap fuel, as we should have “state controlled” the resources a long, long time ago. According to this state’s Constitution, it is state run, but we had representation that sold the henhouse to the FOX along with a guarantee that we would pay for loses accrued by the FOX invading the house of hens. Double-take it was, all in the name of “statehood”. So maybe it is time to take back what is ours, Chavez style. We have been screwed for 30-years by now, with the resources. We can’t recoup those loses, but maybe we should follow a leader, when it comes to how one treats visitors. So Sarah and this state’s citizens should take note of what is happening “globally”, as it isn’t just a warming trend!

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Monday, November 5, 2007

"B" Word

“B” Word Infrastructure
It was Saturday night and I was looking for a place to relax and write. I had sampled more then enough St. Louis micro-brew the past few weeks while on the road, such that a cup of Earl Grey sounded comforting. So I headed to downtown Anchorage. See, the other day I had a very interesting flight over Alaska. It was almost like a guided tour - call it the “Tour of the Be Damned”. I’ll get to that later on in this broadcast. Now as usual, parking is a “Nightmare on Elm Street” like affair here in Alaska’s “Big City”. But not to worry, as there is a brand spanking new “paved paradise put up a parking lot” just down the road from the two coffee shops I frequent when in this part of town. Damn, there was a line at the ticket booth. It’s one of those computerized gizmos, wherein you get no feedback and lucky to get your credit card back. The weather was nice, so conversation allowed “citizens” to voice just how bad the parking was in this town. I think “Begich” is a new curse word! So I had my permit and headed to the coffee shop. It was pretty crowded, as people were starting to show for the “Big Show” at the PAC. What, you’re not taking any more orders? It is only 7:00pm! So I followed an angry crowd over to the only other coffee shop within walking distance. Wow, a crowd here also. I found a table and booted up my computer, allowing enough time for the line to calm down. What, no more orders? This place was also closing down. People complained about this to the same degree of dissatisfaction as with the parking authority madness. And my computer takes at least 20-minutes to shutdown! This is serious business, as there was no place downtown to enlighten oneself intellectually. Now when the tourists are in town, the shops remain open. But when the locals want a little peace and quiet, it is more of the same sorry we’re closed crap! So I high tailed it over to another shop in mid-town, one that was at least open for another hour. This was Saturday night my friends! Anyway, back to my travels. Upon arriving back into Alaska airspace the other day, the weather was such that the pilot set a low altitude course of attack, wherein the contrast from light and a little snow allowed landmarks to stick out like a sore thumb. Wish I had a map, as there were many things that went unrecognized. But it wasn’t hard to figure out some of the famous places along the way. There’s the failed Kodiak Launch Facility. What’s that I hear from an in-flight eavesdrop upon conversation? There is a bid out to construct an X-Band radar on the island. This is by far another hidden waste thy money agenda. It is all part of the dancing with the stars “war” initiative. It doesn’t work, but it had to be mobilized, so Ted could claim something of fame. I would rather see the dairy enjoy the money. At least we would get milk. Spending money on the AADC – Alaska Aerospace & Development Corporation – means nothing short of getting milked by some guy who thinks he is Oliver North. But the best of the rest in waste came into view upon descent into Anchorage, as the glide path followed the Knik River, right past the Don Young failed wood chip export facility. Looks like this place continues to receive “pork”, as the lights were still on. And there seemed to be some most recent building activity. Couldn’t be a maintenance shop, as nothing is used anymore so nothing breaks down. Oh, that in-flight eavesdropping is right again. It is the new ferry terminal, as this state is soon to claim ownership to another piece of crap we didn’t ask for. We didn’t ask for those ridiculous bridges to nowhere, outsiders should be made aware of that. Anyway, soon to be ours is this one-of-a-kind new hi-tech amphibious assault vessel. It was built by the NAVY, as it was the only way Don could get it into a budget. And it is supposedly going to be used as a high-speed ferry, from Anchorage over to Pt. McKenzie, at least until the first bridge to nowhere gets built. The problem, nobody will use the bridge. So the ferry may as well be put on E-bay. Sell it down the lower 48 way, where it is getting built, so shipping charges can be ignored. This state has a history of failed boondogglism sickness. I lived in Valdez when John Barley Corn called for spending millions of dollars in efforts to build a “grow and ship” infrastructure for the much needed “barley” grain. Money was spent on widening and straightening the roads, as it was envisioned that truckloads of barley from Delta would be sailing into Valdez and Seward each and every day all year long. Now when the silos were complete in Valdez, barley had to be imported just to test out the grain elevators. That was the only stuff that site ever would turn on the elevators for. And in Seward, the silo project came to an abrupt halt. What is really sad, is the fact that after all these years, after all this pork, after all the money wasted by the Denali Commission, we have “NOTHING” to show for it. When I travel around, it is refreshing to see that other states have not had the same outcome, as righteous decision making made for a sustainable infrastructure. I see trains loaded up to the gill traveling in all directions, unlike the Alaska Railroad that must be subsidized by Ted and Don, so empty coal cars travel back and forth between Anchorage and Seward. It is a waste of energy. I guess it is this state’s contribution to global warming! And what about the Bill “NoseBleed” Sheffield train depot? Outside I see highways and byways that indeed allow some semblance of traffic control. When I was on my way to this coffee shop from downtown, the light at Romig stopped the main thoroughfare traffic, and it is the weekend, so school is out! There must be something wrong with this type of mentality. But it is rampart in Alaska. And answer me this. Why is the municipality terrorizing HUD in the tune of 4-million dollars for soccer fields to be built out at Kincaid Park? Isn’t HUD supposed to be for housing? It was set-up that way, to manipulate the taxpayers! The way in which Ted and Don have been guilty at rewriting the way in which appropriations are hidden away for personal gains, it is criminal. Talk about waste, this state is the best of the best. And we can’t even keep a coffee shop open past 7:00pm on a Saturday night. So, just how many “pork” launched veneer plants have failed over the years? And remember the “HARP” radio? What about the Kenai Astronaut & Training Facility? Then there is the Seward Sea Life Center that had taxpayer money reserved to buy Ted’s buddy’s asbestos filled Arcade. Should be called the Sea “Lift” Center, as it is nothing short of a “wallet” lifter. The list goes on and on. And just how many rockets have blasted off from the Kodiak site? And just how much wood chip has been exported from the eye sore that sits across the Port of Anchorage? And how many times has the Federal government purchased that guy's fishing vessel then sold it for pennies on the dollar only to have to buy it back over and over again? Yet this state refrains from establishing a sustainable infrastructure wherein we would not have to rely on crooks like Ted and Don. They stole away the taxpayers’ nest egg. That is un-Constitutional in my book. If it is not in yours, then you are indeed an “American Left Behind”. Take a good whiff, as the smell of corruption is everywhere. It has tainted the Constitution. And the only self-sustainability this state can lay claim too, is pity! Alaska, once the “Last Frontier”, now though, the “Corrupt Bastard Welfare” state, in denial! Oh and poor boy John Harris feels let down because “Big Oil” lobbyist don’t visit him any more! Hey John, read the news and find out what is happening around you. Bill Allen Stevens was just that, a lobbyist. Look what he is doing today! Like I said before, take a good whiff and take a good look around you, as somebody may be watching your every move! Oh, forgot inclusion of the funniest case wherein money was tasted here in the 49er. When Ted found money to study the penis size of the male Musk Ox! Never heard any flap over that did you? Hey, I am hearing more then just the “B” word from my constituents.

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com

Sunday, November 4, 2007

"BEN" Gasified

“Ben” Gasified
Wow, so Enstar is about to lower the costs to heat my house by a whooping $2.00 a month. Talk about a dew drop in the bucket. But there is more to it then what the company’s spokesman is willing to divulge. So here is my take on the rebate. Enstar serves a population base of approximately 125,000 paying customers. And for some reason or another, SEMCO Energy - the parent company of Enstar based out of Michigan - it insisted on hiring Ben Stevens as a member of the board of directors. While he was still an Alaska state senator! That was so until Ben found himself being interviewed by the FBI. So my calculator provides this simple mathematical multiplication outcome. A 125,000 customer base times a $2.00 rebate times a 0.56 energy equalizer index equals $140,000 dollars. So maybe, just maybe that is what it cost to have Ben stick around – influence pedaling. Big daddy’s influence I am talking about, especially when it comes to energy regulations which to us rate-payers is nothing short of strangulation. And I am sure that the boardroom boredom Ben put up with for a fee, it most likely paid off handsomely in some obscure appropriations bill signed by daddy and the Billy Goat. And since Ben’s bonus was a business expense, it is a burden placed upon the customers. Wherein you and I get to give in. So this rebate may be a means to re-coup some illegal gratuity grandstanding. Why can’t they just be honest with us and tell the truth when stealing from us gets government oversight scrutiny? All in all, the rebate doesn’t amount to beans as the value of natural gas has seen a skyrocketing abuse approaching a 30% increase, in just the past year. And it has been more of the same for the last 3-years. Then what is really happening to allow such a pilferage of my hard earned payola? It is nothing short of a conspiracy. See, the gas in Cook Inlet had always been affordable. Made so early on when the gas wells and pipeline infrastructure was subsidized affordable by tax breaks written into the oil & gas tax code – both state and Federal. And good for them and good for us, as grandfather rights ruled the means by which subsidizing could be amended. Basically, leave well enough alone! So we were safe, for awhile. But then somebody in their infinite wisdom decided it was worth the risk to abandon proven reserves for more costly new exploration. So it meant the new gas would fall under a completely different slate. The latter is what the energy gurus use to define the cost of energy. And remember this, Enstar does not own any natural gas, it just transports the gas for others, like Concho-Phillips and Unocal and Marathon. But when the energy titans increase the price of energy, the transporters feel it also necessary to raise prices. Saying the transported gas is more precious so it has to cost more in efforts to deliver it to the consumers! And it really amounts to increases for no other reason then monkey-see, monkey-do greed mentality. So with the new wells and new pipelines down in the inlet, it meant an entire new ballgame. When at the same time, the cheap old gas remains stuck below ground. Now the new gas falls under the Henry Hub indexing method of wallet extraction. It is this simple. Energy is sold by its BTU content. Natural gas maintains a well known energy content whereas crude oil does not. There are many unknowns with the “Black Gold”, so it offers a means to add a penny here and a penny there. In the end, the true cost of the goop is over inflated. So wisdomers realized that if natural gas could be tied to West Texas Intermediate crude oil indexing, it meant a whale of a bonanza! That is what is behind the Henry Hub index. It follows a simple equation that marries the price of natural gas with the price of crude oil. So it is a way to richen the pot. It should have never been allowed, as gas and oil are in reality two completely different commodities. Like mentioned before, natural gas is just that, natural. It doesn’t need any additional conditioning. I can take my Coleman stove up to a well in Prudhoe Bay and in no time flat be boiling water, from the gas. So there existed no known ways and means to richen the exploited plant and animal remains extracted in the gaseous state. But once it was deemed all in the same with respect to energy, it then so conveniently falls automatically under the indexing formula. In a 2006 study by our very own DOE - a.k.a. Department Of Enlightenment - it was proven that natural gas is now tied to the price of crude oil, with a slight deviation called the equalization index. Crude oil controls the indexing. Bottom line, we were screwed. It is so profitable that the gas is more desirable then crude oil, as the equalization index disallows rapid price fluctuations. So as crude oil swings a dollar here and then a dollar there, the indexed gas remains a solid and stable investment. A lucrative investment at that! And as soon as the titans figure out how to liquefy this gas and control its behavior so it remains a liquid at standard conditions of temperature and pressure, it will be signora “black gold”. What’s that I hear from down Nikiski way? Its already been done. Really, it is called the “White Crude Project”, wherein natural gas is converted into crude oil. It follows an old German conversion process. See, it then fetches the same price as crude oil, about 5% greater then natural gas in its virgin state! So this is what happens when this country has representation that is not at all interested in the people’s welfare over that of the special interests. The fact that our so-called leadership allowed this to happen is proof that politicians are indeed corrupt. The sad thing about it, somebody is making a very healthy profit over this shenanigans. And it never should have been allowed to happen way up here in Alaska. Ben screwed us. Ted screwed us. Don screwed us. Frank screwed us. And I am sure that MoanaLisa is well on her way to screw us some more. See, our gas comes from the inlet right to our front-door. It doesn’t come close to the “Hub”, which is located down in Louisiana. It is in itself a completely different commodity onto its own. And you really cannot blame Enstar, as it is “Big Oil” providing more of the same crap. But when an outfit like Enstar engages in hiring state representation like Ben Stevens, there can only be one realization, abuse. With a capitol A, a capitol B, a capitol U…..Wow, 2-bucks a month back in my wallet for a rainy day! Feels like I have “BEN” GASIFIED.

CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
Contact: Storylineonline@gci.net or www.Storylineonline.com or www.chinookjournal.blogspot.com