Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind


Beware an "Eyes Only" Site
Stories All About Alaska and More...
Contact the Ghost of Spam McGee
We All Tweet in a Twitter Submarine: @AlaskaChinook
(CopyRight Protected)

~ This Machine KILLS Fascists ~
Solidarity National Anthem
"This Land Is Your Land"

Saturday, August 30, 2014

And In This Day

The day, 
and in that day, 
everything you have finished.
Grandfather, Great Spirit, 
Hetchetu aloh!

offering of the pipe - oglala sioux - black elk - 1930

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Alaska State Fair

Wasn't this year's Alaska State Fair the best ever? There was the Don Young “Rabid Skunk” ride, which smelled like a “road kill skunk” from all the little kid vomit. And then we had the MoanaLisa MurCowpie M.V. Susitna “Christening” extravaganza, wherein you would try to hit the moving target boat with a giant bottle of Don Perignon, to see if you could cause a “Sunken Ship Tilt”. The only thing bad about that was the “Tip Jar” for the Port Authority? And that “Bridge To Nowhere” leading towards the petting zoo, which was even more fun maneuvering when you went blindfolded to see how it works for our legislatures! And the urinals at the “Bud Chase”, who thought of those floating fake turds the resemblance of Palin? The Joe Miller “Winkie with a Twinkie” race was a hit as was the entertainment by the “CBC” trio, especially the band's new release “Arrested Again for Bribery” - only thing missing was Art Linkletter. I didn't know Bill Allen was so gifted! Don was busy giving away viagra and bennie caps to the kids - “I Want To Be Like Don When I Grownup”. Begich was a no show, no big loss, something about getting in a confrontation with his brother HARPO. And those fire-works, where there was a markup of the Kodiak Launch Facility “blowing” its top in a multi-colored flame enraged wreakathon! But the best that found attention in making this event find lasting impressions was the “Entry Gate” act wherein that guy dressed as Sean Parnell shots himself in the groin. I felt the pain and agony of defeat - it was just too real. And I did see a whole bunch of Sarah Palin look-alike creatures of habit, but I don't know if that was part of the organizer's efforts, or something in the water over Wasillibilly way. All in all, we don't need the “Fat Lady” or other freak like attractions, as.....we have political savvy in a league of our own the unknown!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014


"Yes, as through this world I've wandered
I've seen lots of funny men
Some will rob you with a six-gun
And some with a fountain pen
And as through your life you travel
Yes, as through your life you roam
You won't never see an outlaw
Drive a family from their home"


(Woody on LIFE)

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

4-Seconds Too Late

Wow, we almost succeeded in a long overdue mission – getting rid of the Kodiak Launch Facility. Have any idea how much it costs to maintain this “Cape Canaveral Carnage to Nowhere”? It has operated at a $13-Million dollar yearly loss since the beginning of time. And if you add in the lucrative salary of the head cheese and his hierarchy of do-nothings, it amounts to about a PFD lose of $350 bucks – that's each year this monstrosity is funded – by the State of Alaska! And the empire builders – members of the “Bridge Builders to Nowhere Society” exclusive to Alaska – well they want more loot to build another launch tower pointing “Nowhere”! Yes, we pay for it as this mission NOT-accomplished is a state “Corporation”, one of many that can hide under secrecy and we never get the true facts of what's the matter. See, this thing was built but never found beneficial use that could pay for itself. When a project no longer benefits the “mission” and cannot find self-sufficiency, then bring in the wreaking ball, sell what's leftover as scrap. But when you have Senators with “crabs”, they're itching to throw money away to their “Vote Me In Again” constituency. See, this “Wanton Waste” creates about 46 islander jobs – paying very high wages – so the hell with fishing. So too bad the rocket didn't have the intelligence to blow itself up, while still tethered to the tower, as then we could have celebrated that it isn't worth fixing this mess and collect the insurance. Then take that loot and distribute it as that is what this State's Constitution mandates. In fact, read between the lines, as “Private State Corporations” are, well against the law..... Bridges to Nowhere, a rusting Ferry to Nowhere, and now this...maybe we are on a roll of self-destruction as a ways and means to police our thirst to fail! Throw money at it, seems to be Alaska's motto!
 KABOOM over Kodiak Island

Dear Santa Choke

Dear Santa Choke;
I must admit that due to the fact I must work twice as long these days for the same wage, that I don't find the time at ease in understanding politics today – as it continues to suck the living life out of Miss Liberty. These days, getting to a polling booth is almost ridiculous and this election stuff is made all so confusing, so I am glad we citizens “United”! So best said just stay at home in front of the “Big Screen” with a “Big Bag of Goodies” from Wally “World” Mart. Honestly, the other day I tried a drive to my polling booth but newly erected road construction “detour” signs made me turn here, then there and basically I was soon stuck on a “Mobius Strip” trip – there was no way out! Now pray-tell, nobody would plan this inconvenience at such a convenient time would they? Really, there was a traffic jam those trying to get out and vote – we were stuck, good thing the “Good Samaritan” neighbor had a “Big Bag of Goodies”, from Wally.... time for a “Tailgate”! So we rely on a guy like you and da brother – that have time to figure it out – to coach us to accept what seems to be the best for the country. But you are spending $millions$ in publicity stunts attacking the Senator from Alaska - Mark Begich. But why? See, Mr. Begich is making you $millions$! Even though you have decided to shut-down your Flint Hills Refinery in North Pole, it doesn't mean that the demand for refined products has gone away – in fact quite the opposite it appears from the truck traffic towards 12-mile Village. You are very intelligent when it comes to business savvy, so you have found that you can increase your profit margin by purchasing refined products “outside” interior Alaska! So may as well shutdown the refinery, as keeping it running costs you money and think of all those jobs you once had to sign over paychecks, ka-ching! So buy cheapskate labor refined products, barge it to Anchorage then ship it north by rail, so that much desired commodity – like motor gasoline and heating fuel – can be held hostage in your North Pole storage facility, where the truck loading continues day in day out just like when that refinery was working its ass off around the clock and ka-chinging! Like already mentioned, the demand hasn't gone away which means the supply must continue. So “Bravo” this business plan – as the game is to make money, ka-ching with change! With thousands of gallons of motor and heating fuels exchanged daily, a few cents saved through this maneuver adds up to a boatload of revenue. You must like it when the thermometer reaches -50. So it is still a supply and demand business, we demand, you supply! So why attack Begich? See Mr. Begich is the individual that has gone out of his way to keep the Eielson Air Force base alive! He has threatened contempt of Congress against the brass and even committed treason to protect your interests, when he withheld military promotions - because he was not getting what he thought was “truthful” information that justified the base closure order from the Pentagon. Imagine that, holding up a promotion of our men and women in uniform – blasphemy it is. Said again, he has single handedly forced the Air Force to hold off on any attempt to shut-down that base that relies on fuel transported down Santa Clause Lane. And now we hear that the F-16's will not be moved and Eielson is a top contender for the home of the next generation of fighter jets – the F-35. Amazing what “political pressure” can do for your estate without taxation! Which means you will get to sell aviation fuel to the U.S. Taxpayers by the boatload! And because the dilapidated power plant at that base cannot get a permit to burn coal, it will have to transfer to...yes your turbine fuel. Instead of attacking Begich, you should have a shovel and already digging a ditch for a pipeline from your pretty white tanks to the base. And to add to your money from heaven haven, Begich wants more of those “Dud” interceptor rockets stationed down in Delta, which means more fuel needed – fuel that you supply from Santa's Village! So why such a fuss? You may want to re-think such attacks, as it is not Don Young or MoanaLisa MurCowpie that has taken such a stand on Eielson, but Mark Begich. And I don't have to re-iterate for your sake, how this maintains and may even increase your profit margin here in Alaska - but for those not in the know it is an all important political tidbit - ever hear of “don't bite the hand that feeds”? In fact, you should take advantage of this, make it known to your constituency – the Tea-Party – that you endorse Begich, as he is keeping the lights on at Eielson, wherein 92% of the income pays for your followers' dreams of freedom – those that hate government being employed by government supplied by fuel from your stockpile. Think about it, take advantage of this opportunity and maybe someday the North Pole Mud Bogger Business Leaders will elect to have that giant Santa Clause statue replaced by your's only Santa Choke – your legacy wherein every kid will then think you are the real toy man – or would it then be the “Bogey Man”, as “Citizens United” speaks freely of a mythical androgynous creature, the “Sack Man” carrying away kids that disobey - just like all your political threatening money is carrying away American decency?

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Pile of Bile

I am just, I am just...lost for words with any semblance of wisdom! What in torn-nation do these trash-holes think? OK, so I live in a state that has found “STUPID” as its trademark of survival - so I guess in the eyes of the bewildered beholder, I am also “STUPID” - guilty by association? Alaska, the LAST LOST “STUPID FRONTIER”. And NO I am not punishing myself, just bending down and over to experience this characterization in “Reality” check mode, as today the STUPPIDITY factor has unfortunately hit this state like an out-of-control Don Youngatoid – a.k.a. wild ass hemorrhoid disguised as a rabid skunk! See, we are now starting to see what “Corrupt Bastard” inbreeding and pasta fazuli nepotism produces – Alaskan Style Stupidity! First and flash frozen on todays “STUPID” forecast, well I would say that Wild West Jim must have a whole lot of evidence about illegal hunting by top officials, maybe even captured on film by his accomplices in crime - those that follow trash around so trash can be captured on film - else why did he get off so easy for violating “Wanton Waste” laws how many times guilty? So he gets “Community Service”? Look he is one of those “doomsday preppyscared all-the-time worshipers, which means he can't even take a crap without being loaded down with guns and bullets, he packs......! How in hell does the court find reasonableness in giving this guy an off-the-hook sentencing of service upon those in need? I don't want a guy coming to my community to help if he is carrying! I am sure he will show up to the local soup kitchen, yes well armed – because these people needing help are not his sort of folks – especially if Obama fans. Sure he sells arms to persons of interest, but sell a gun to a homeless person – not in our town. NO, sell the guns to those that prey on the unfortunate. How many murder weapons and illegal hunting machine guns have been sold from his store? So, he will never perform any “Community Service”, due the possibility of confrontations. He ended up with a “Stevens Free” sentencing, for committing crimes that would have placed many behind bars. IMAGINE if he be “black”! I once did “Community Service”, not as a criminal but as a volunteer, ended up having a homeless guy attack me with a rubber knife! So imagine Wild Jim doing his time and some homeless attacks him, bam...bam - “just holding my ground your honor, I didn't know it was a rubber knife”! Basically Wild West Jim's penance sets a precedence that in Alaska you can shoot anything anytime and not worry about the crime. Of course, that precedence started out in Jim's neighborhood, when the preacher shot the food beggars, because they were hungry! I bet that religious man got his gun from the Wild West man! This guy is a piece of crap in my book, yes the preacher also. But what sends the real message of “STUPIDITY” is the fact that the fallout of all that political inbreeding over the years has found the nurturing of a fanaticism that makes the Tea-Party tame in comparison – with respect to no respect upon the Constitution and citizen righteousness. This is the true piss on Miss Liberty rivalry. Remember for Alaskan history sake, it was Bill Allen that testified that the “Boat to Nowhere” - a.k.a. MV Susitna - was needed in efforts to build Don Young's “Bridge to Nowhere” – to ferry workers across the inlet to Bill's whore house, being planned over at Pt. McKenzie. No not the “Bridge to Nowhere” just crucified that crosses the Tanana River for no apparent reason but to provide more laughs and indeed points “Nowhere”, but the bridge that is being planned today so people from Anchorage can drive to all the prosperous farms in Point McKenzie, to buy fresh vegetables, milk, ice cream and “free-range” beef at a fraction of what they have been paying – due import taxation. See, that farm project is providing a windfall, as it was successful and all these farmers are anxious to get their goods to market! But the MV Susitna is under scrutiny again, for reasons not that it was a backfire of a project condoned by corruption allowed through abuse of political clout, but today the finger pointing opportunists involved in this project are using this crazed method to avoid, well getting a real job. And let's begin to be honest this waste again, as it was Don Young that wanted this Navel amphibious assault vessel above all, as he likes “things with no apparent future”. Don Young, is the ultimate “Nowhere Man”! Look Don would build a pyramid to replace Mt. McKinley, just for the fact that it would create thousands of jobs and when finished the Alaskan Natives could no longer claim the reign of “Denali”. Yes, building stuff under the label of “Nowhere” is not out of any beneficial necessity but to create jobs and waste resources! Sure Don would move a mountain if he had the opportunity. Anyway, when that coconut fell on Mr. Rabid Skunk's head and he woke from a coma with a premonition that Alaska needed a boat to nowhere, Don went to Ted as the “Hulk” had the stroke, and the money came in boatloads and the boat nobody really wanted was built - and today Ted gets the blame. Sacrilege how we find it so convenient to blame this “Wanton Waste” on a dead guy. Since the MV Susitna, the “Boat to Nowhere” that cannot even be given away, I have heard one too many try and blame Dead Ted for this crime – his friends, as this here we go again failed project finds waste and is a political stabber, so may as well stab Ted in the back - some more. It is a crime of grave digging! So the Port of McKenzie Imbeciles - a.k.a. Pt. McKenzie Port Authority - have been issued a “DEMAND” notice to pay up a $12-Million loan in arrears – U.S. Taxpayers loot. See, there were many lanyards attached to the “Ferry”, stipulations that follow every damn project that is funded by the U.S. Taxpayers – it finds transparency. Yes, even though 87% of Alaskans “hate” government, the FTA has true Americans that watch out for our loot. And since the MV Susitna reneged on its maiden voyage and is now decaying to rust, yes we should “DEMAND” our money back – as it was and is sinister fraud from the beginning of this project and it hasn't ended yet. Nobody ever wanted this pile of bile! Yet to reason “suing” the U.S. government on this fiasco, I am lost for words that there are actual people out there with this thought process mentality and allowed to drive? Yes, the Port idiots are threatening to sue Uncle Sam? Does frivolous ring a bell? See, several well paid have already made a career at the port, for a ferry that has not sold a single passenger ticket, has not even made a single safe journey, so by suing – it maintains that do-nothing lifestyle for say another 5-years. By that time, they will have put in enough time for retirement. Bottom-line, the U.S. Taxpayers should be up in arms and demanding that we counter suit, and receive back every penny plus interest and attorney fees – as with $42-billion in reserve, this “STUPID” state has no excuse but to pay up for such mistakes. Yes, it is another case of fallout from the Corrupt Bastard Club era, and today we find STUPPIDITY” in line with “Nowhere” as continuing on a voyage that hurts the U.S. Taxpayers, it finds us all part of the “Corruption”. Yes we are all guilty when our representatives commit “Wanton Waste” for a Viagra moment – when that 4-hour erection at election time christens more of the same, “Corruption” from the helm. And to that judge that handed Wild West Jim a “Get Out of Jail FREE” ticket, torn-nation it is!