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Thursday, January 22, 2015

Deflated Patriotism


I just received the results from what is referred to in the “Hi-Tech” circles as the Phineas J. Whoopee 3DBB computer modeling algorithm, which was used to simulate the entire New England Patriots game played out last Sunday against the Colts. Whoopee's end-game result simulations were also pre-conditioned by New England weather factor algorithms on file from the University of Alaska “Climate Center” in Fairbanks, which utilizes a Cray “Super Computer” and used to determine when the Nenana River ice will move out – no it's not “Classic” cheating! Anyway, the 3DBB was used to simulate the entire AFC playoff game again and again, based on deflated footballs followed by NFL approved balls – those with proper pressurization within the “rule-book” tolerances. The simulator was run for 24-hours, which meant approximately 24-games simulated and statistically analyzed for consistency. Basically speaking, when a formidable model was found to approximate the actual ending score of 45-7 and based on deflated footballs, then that same “model” in reverse could render an accurate result based on balls of various sizes and pressure ratings. The PJW3DBB is the same “computer modeling” used by the military to simulate combat missions before an actual exercise is approved, and was used for planning Bin Laden's capture - so is pretty damn realistic. Over 100-gigabytes of data was input to this “Model” and required an hour's time at minimum to analyze the results – even with high-speed computers running close to the speed-of-light! Amazing what we can do these days to cover our tracks. OK, the results are overwhelmingly interesting, and the “model” finds the Colts actually won that game, drum roll please....7 to “zero”. It was a nasty day in Foxborough at Gillette Stadium, with rain and a very cool breeze sometimes gusting, so this score is consistent with weather conditions. So, Boston Patriots...this is so sad! See, when this football team was under the influence of the “Boston” label, no way would the fans put up with a cheating coach mentality – a cheating coach would have been banned from Fenway long ago. “Well you heard about the Boston...It's not one of those. Well, talkin' 'bout the midnight...sh...The one that closed the bedroom door. I'm called the hit-and-run raper in anger. The knife-sharpened tippie-toe...Or just the shoot 'em dead, brainbell jangler.You know, the one you never seen before.” Boston has a history of Patriotism unlike any other city from sea to shining sea – just ask Paul, as it is “Revered”. And if anything comes from this latest “Bulimichick Cheating” spree, it is the name “Patriot” banned from use by this team, as Belichick has a proven record of a “cheating” disorder that is no different then an ISIS beheading “disorder” upon an innocent journalist – as it is all for the winning and not for the sport and true sportsfans that want some semblance of “sportsmenship” as a fundametal “mission”, well we are being held for “ransom” like those hostages! What's wrong with America? What are we trying to teach our youth, that cheating is OK in efforts to get ahead for that “mighty buck” in return as a reward? Football coaches cheating and 2-year old kids killing themselves with the family gun, our “State of the Union”! Yes, we live in fear so stay so “Trigger” ready and at the same time we “cheer” for the crooks that believe cheating is OK. No wonder our youth are committing suicide at alarming rates, as what life is this for the honest few? “Patriotism” a rare find these days! And I have already found something to do during “Super Bowel” Sunday, and it ain't affiliated with a couch potato mentality, as even the commercials or halftime entrapment entertainment are not worth the bother as it enriches the crooks and crocks playing the game. I am beginning to believe what my “Bloke” brethren have been laughing at for years, football ain't a sport, but a reality show only! In fact, maybe John Lawman can find a cell-mate for Aaron, as cheating like this is indeed a crime, yet we are so afraid to make waves. Too bad we didn't have control over “Football” like we have upon “Baseball”. As look what that did to Pete Rose under Henry Waxman like overreach! Here is what I am getting at. As we become so afraid, so lemmingistic, so compassionately complacent, there comes a point in time wherein we are taken advantage upon – like in the case of the deflated football credibility zapper. It amounts to a scene and sense of bribery. It's corrupt and this eventually leads to “oversight” and when that finds interference due we were afraid, you get the point! We must start taking action, else we will see action we should be discouraging, from outside interference. So as a referee this “Deflating”, start by boycotting the super game and renouncing the New England team as “Patriots” like renouncing Satan and instead take your kids for a drive, a walk, without the loaded guns and be not afraid – that's is what I call “Patriotism”, being not afraid on “Home Turf”! As to be afraid, it means they have “WON”! They? The Belichicks....bent on ruining this “Patriotism” in the name of "Cheating" for a profit!

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