Big Top Ticket - It's MINE!

Boy, last ticket but it was worth the wait at Trump Tower. And I was the only damn "American" in this long line along the urine stench alley way between 5th and Madison to the ticket booth. Since after Thanksgiving Day because all the rich folks hired immigrants as stand-ins to get limited sedating tickets! See, I dished out $103000 bucks to get a ticket to Donald John Trump's "Inaugural Day Celebration", to be held in the "Big Top" erected for January 20th on the Capital grounds. I would have liked to attend the "Red Tie" ball sponsored by the Silver Legion, but that was out of my price range. But I did get a ring side seat to the "Big Top". Now even though sworn to secrecy the festivities, I don't mind sharing what Trump's Inaugural committee has planned, stuff that ordinary America will not see, only the privileged.

Sarah Palin and Linda McMahon will stage a phony argument over 1400 verses 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and end up in a grudge match, just like in World Wide Wrestling. And when the slugging gets rough, Ivanka and the Amway lady make a show and take sides - Trumpmania "Girls Gone Wild"! Then there's the side show of Ted Nugent shitting in his pants while teaching Donald on how to get a draft deferment from a guy dressed as Uncle Sam "I Want You". If you guess the masked Sam man, you get an autographed Ted Nugent "Turd" and "Made in China" fake gold-leaf cufflinks. And the afternoon show commences with Rudy Giuliani swallowing a 4-foot long pink dildo, like a sword swallower in a circus freak show. And then we will have the most challenging contest, as the burger guy that will head up the Labor Department will boss around a dozen minimum-wage flippers as they try to shove 1000 "Big Cart triple-decker-bacon bombs" down Chris Christie's throat. Then a Russian Federation replica blimp with a pilot that looks like Vladimir will try to ascend, with Christie as a payload and track done Obama and his family then sky-crap all over the 44th - that will be televised for ticket holders. And another side show, Jeff Session's dad Yoda explains how come they look so weird - hey it's a circus freak show 2017. Ticket holders will be entertained by Ben Carson the half-man, the Pony Boy(identity unknown but could be Mike Flynn), Jim "FBI" Comey as the "Missing Link", Nikita Haley as the Monkey Girl and Camel Girl Elaine Chao. And Melania, she is supposed to perform some kind of contortionist routine with Kelly Conway - the snake pit lady. Then there is the cow-pie throwing contest at the "Wall" sponsored by FOX, in this case the Vietnam Memorial used as a target, throw the bums out. The "Greatest Show on Earth" and there will be food vendors - like the "Pedophile Podesta" pizza special from PizzaGate. And Barack Obama will be hung in effigy at the Silver Legion ball, the climax of Donald Trump's "Orgasm". Yes, Donald is supposed to jerk off for the audience, from the Tower onto 5th Avenue - which means that 103-thousand was well worth it. Making America Great Again starts under the "Big Top" as the "Circus Freak Show" is in town and underway!