Day2) I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
Day3) I tell you, I'm not a sexy guy. I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine. The staples covered everything!
Day4) What a childhood I had, why, when I took my first step, my old man tripped me!
Day5) Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me from now on I have to pay in advance.
Day6) I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!
Day7) Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes.
Day8) The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."
Day9) I tell ya, my wife was never nice. On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek - she bent over!
Day10) I tell you, with my doctor, I don't get no respect. I told him, "I've swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills." He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.