Weekend Update Endorsement Poll, courtesy Kapersky Global Spying Initiative:
Melissa Harris-Envy of MSNBC endorses Ted "Спу́тник-1" Cruz. (Спу́тник-1, Russian pronunciation is “Sputnik” and was the first artificial cosmonaut without intelligence.)
Ted "Спу́тник-1" Cruz during pre-flight suit-up.
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Judgment Lacking Jeanine Pirropiranha of FOX endorses Hillary “Лайка“ Clinton. (Лайка, Russian pronounciation is “Laika”. A stray dog selected as a Soviet space dog who became one of the first animals in space, and the first animal to orbit the Earth. ) 
Hillary “Лайка“ Clinton prepares
for “2016 Exploratory Suppository Test”
Note: Poll results are indicative of the total “Weekend” air-time dedicated to a candidate of choice.
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