Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind


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Saturday, April 23, 2016

Dear Bill Clinton

Dear Bill Clinton;

THANKS. Well it appears that Hillary was right all along, that she knew nothing about the “Classified” junk mail that was streaming from the Blumenthal-on-Aides network to her “private server” e-mail account. The one that Bosco Pagliano set up in the “crapper” at your Chappaqua home. Sorry if I sometimes get “paqua” mixed up with “paguaddick” in my writings about your guilt, but the latter was Ted Kennedy's “dick” stomping grounds, not yours. Hey, is your “paqua” the same place where Hillary's pet dog was run-over? Nice neighborhood. OK, you were supposed to be watching Buddy, but maybe the crapper was a better place to spend time and derelict away from dog doo duty, instead spying on what was going on when Hillary was gallivanting around the world - setting the stage for her presidential ambitions. We all paid for it, but what's a few bucks wasted on her private parts over food and shelter for the homeless. By the way, had you been honest early on the “private server” fiasco and the balls to come forward, it would have saved the American Taxpayers a whole lot of loot, that which was already taken away through taxation, but could have been used to feed the homeless instead of a costly “investigation”. Getting your money's worth I guess! Anyway, now that the FBI has concluded its investigation and you have been indicted for “espionage”, was it Seamus' testimony that spilled the beans? Damn dog, couldn't plead the 5th? I guess that's what you get when you name a pet after a “Private Dick”. Sorry if “dick” keeps entering the seriousness of this letter, but it is entertaining as it goes hand-in-hand with your namesake. So, were you spying on Hillary because you didn't trust her or was it fact you just couldn't get away from the political scene, because you vacated that responsibility as president while engaged upon other priorities - like “Oval Office” Harmonica legislation. Anyway, what goes around comes around. So, she is free and you are facing another impeachment like battle – only this time around the evidence is excruciating. See, when you teamed up with Keith Richards, you should have stayed on the music bandwagon and retired away from political shame, instead of taking Hillary down, again. And with Hillary running against Trump for the 45th and in a good position to become the 1st “Femoral Hernia” U.S. President, have you asked her for a pardon? See, there exists a whole lot of ex-Bernie votes out there still undecided, such that are needed if Hillary wants to make it to the “I'm In”, but many of us are concerned - with this “Pardon Me” rumor that is floating around. See, if Hillary wins and on January 21st grants you a pardon, then you would have permission to move back into the White House – and that would be a grave mistake for this nation. Just do your time, and with the 4-year sentence that is hanging on your groin, when Hillary finally retires away from the “Beltway”, she can come pick you up and both you and Hillary along with Seamus can retire away into the sunset. By the way, any idea how much it would cost the U.S. Taxpayers for conjugal visits – with all that extra security detail? OK, if not Hillary and instead a visit from your harem, we may save some loot – that which can be then used to feed the homeless. So these are the pressing issues I have with respect to sacrificing my vote for Hillary, as it appears once again we have been castrated, because you cannot just be honest - something we realized way back when we heard: “I did not have....”

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