Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind

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Thursday, August 6, 2015

New Alaskan Wealth


With oil prices slumping again, appears Alaskans have found another resource of “wealth”, that keeps on giving. It's called the “Fringed Frontier Benefit” and is best described as Alaska's “Most Wanted” Reality TV scene. See, once again we have “Crazed Wannabe Movie Stars” arrested for criminal activity. The entire Billy Brown family is up for adoption, I meant prosecution. And now the Jewel family ties “Hollywood” clan is under heat from handcuffs, along with the film crew. See, we are arresting not single bank robbers, but entire families and cohorts in crime those carrying a camera as a weapon! And helicopters used as get-away vehicles? Well the law applied to our advantage means confiscating, so we can auction off for even more loot! And soon, we will be forced to erect “Family” jails as Alaska may be considered “Organized Crime Family” central! With that, fines double sometimes quadruple as guilty parties plead for their bank accounts, and that fills the shrinking state coffers with loot. And it provides gainful employment for the state prospector's legal staff, so may find vacancies to be filled. Look, it all started with the “Sleaziest Catch”, a bunch of hoodlums that can't get real work – like in the oil patch – so hitch-hike a ride with “Bandits” and in efforts to make the melodrama less mellow and fake like dramatic, well it means a bunch of renegades fighting, arguing, puking and now evidence of more law breaking criminal activity – with illegal hunting. It is planned this way, so it can sell TV time. Imagine taking orders from a film crew boss to break the law? Look, it started with “I Shit in My Pants” Ted Nugent, as he was screwed up enough to allow his film crew to celluloid an illegal “black bear” hunt, and when it showed on some “Texas Soap Opera” time-slot, well an observer turned Nugent in and he was banned from hunting in Alaska, for many years and paid a stiff fine. Anyway, these “Discovery” shows have discovered something, that “their goona put me in the movies” is a sad way to take advantage of a “human”, when poor souls must resort to chastizing themselves for chump change. And the film crews are just as bad – especially that jerk that thought the “Haul Road” was a city-slicker drive and rear-ended a semi during a “white-out” because he was in a place that for the longest of times was a trespassing offense to “Outsiders”. Remember the good old days, when Non-Residents could not drive past the Yukon! The saddest thing about this “Alaskan Reality”, I was visiting a retirement home back east and a bunch of elderly veterans were sitting around wasting their short time left on earth watching this 49er celluloid crap, when I spilled the beans and told them it was all fake – boy were they pissed. But a follow-up by the attending physician's assistant has informed me that after that let-down, well most have stopped watching that “crap” and now engaged in more social like activities, engaged in games, card playing and even short walks. So maybe when “John Law” cleans up the act here in Alaska, maybe we can once again see some good stuff, instead of this low self esteem bull-crap that pollutes the airwaves. Sad, when poor crap like this makes money for those “Discovery” executives that use their positions of power to infringe on human rights, perverted stalking it is. So maybe the tides have turned and we can begin to get back what the 49er is supposed to be all about, as when we start arresting and incarcerating the bastards behind this moral decay we re-establish ourselves. So kudos for Walker to “kill” the “Film Tax Credit” program, and “chase them crazy baldheads out of the town”, has meaning.
The Billy Brown "Turd" Family
heading for "JAIL"!


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