Portnoy's Complant Repurposed

12/12/21, 7:09 AM Tip Line | Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol

TIP LINE
Chairman Thompson is interested in any information regarding the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol. We respect your need to remain confidential and will use your contact information only to follow up with you regarding your submission. 

First Name: Lost
Last Name: Cause
Email: TheDogAteMyHomework@NK.com
Phone Number 202-456-1111

Details:

Dear Benny and Zoey and Lizzy;

Since we get no real updates from this committee and must rely on the news media in all its speculation what is going on behind closed doors, I guess we best run our own scorecard what this committee is up against. Just like the 38-page January 6th battle plan that is circulating around the net, you say it is not the one your investigation received through Mark Meadows - so why not give us some proof instead of a spoof response?

So here is the update on what we know was behind this January 6th event:

Merrick Garland called it out as “almost interference”(10/8/2021)

Zoey called it “mischief”(MSNBC 11/22/2021)

From “Almost” to “Mischief” in just a few days in time - miraculous! So it appears that a whole lot of U.S. taxpayer loot could be saved by cutting our loses now, as it appears as time goes on the magnitude of that January 6th event dwindles away to “Mischief” and doesn’t seem to meet the bar of a crime spree. That is the nature of the beast in time erases. Yet, it appears the real interference without the “almost” can be found with those Trump confidants taking the 5th when there is no such defense, it is one of the "exceptions" because this was a “Militia” undertaking called to duty by the Commander-in-Chief. Does not your committee have the jurisdiction as a tribunal for such, where the 5th ceases to exist? I will answer that for you, which finds the same answer in question does this committee have the Supreme Court backing in McGrain v. Daugherty to “attach” individuals that ignore a subpoena…I forgot, it is merely mischief so why bother! OK, if we were talking kindergartners maybe some milk, cookies and a nap time would be a justified punishment in mischief. Maybe in the end that is what this committee will propose. And I am sure those outside lawyers retained for this junket see this investigation as a “cash cow”, the more witnesses the merrier in cha-ching. By the way, why not at least give us Americans a weekly update on how much you have spent? Matter of fact, why not just cut to the chase, issue a report now. It’s easy, like taking candy from a baby, just copy Portnoy’s Complaint, at least maybe we will get our money’s worth in some reading enjoyment!

This is a "TIP" intended to better serve the American Spirit

*****

12/12/21, 7:10 AM Tip Line - Thank You | Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol

TIP LINE - THANK YOU

Dear Constituent,

Thank you for contacting the Select Committee and sharing information regarding the January 6th attack on the United States Capitol.

The Select Committee has received your submission and is prepared to follow up on the information you provided as appropriate. 

Sincerely, Bennie G. Thompson Chairman