Books & Writings by SPam McGee

Alaska Short Stack Stories, Series I, II, & III ~ Alaska's Deadliest Sin-Drill Baby Drill ~ Alaskan Company Man ~ Eklutna Lake Worrier ~ From the Fifth Floor ~ Hannah Cove ~ My Journey to Landes House ~ Poemetrics ~ Quinn the "Tanik" Eskimo ~ S.O.S. from Beaver Lake ~ The Teachings of the Swamp Fox ~ Trans-Alaska-Pipeline Funny Stories ~ Spirit Dog & the Ghost Wind


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Friday, January 4, 2013

M.V. Susitna

OK, so I stand corrected and admit my initial and past assessment of the M.V. Susitna as another failed “Ted & Don” congressional hard-on pork-us moment was premature. As today we can really enjoy that champagne that MoanaLisa enjoyed while down in Ketchikan during christening ceremonies this so far useless hull paid for by the U.S. Held Hostage Taxpayers. That was 4-years ago and the vessel is still without a home – the champagne has aged. See, the M.V. Susitna is an amphibious assault vessel the NAVY didn’t want but was forced to cough up its design & construction because Ted & Don demanded so. It was in line to that “Bridge to Nowhere” mentality, Ted and Don’s leprosy – I meant legacy. It was not intended for actual use after the welding fumes blew away, just make jobs for the locals which equates to votes. The Susitna comes equipped with powerful engines and other technologies that make it ideal for emergency response type situations, especially with near-shore accidents. But after this vessel pass the sea-trials, it could not find a home as its original intent was to ferry passengers from somewhere to nowhere with a depot drop-off in Anchorage. But when it was calculated that a one-way ticket from somewhere to nowhere was $10000 dollars and would take twice as long as the Alaska Railroad’s “High Speed” Commuter - in which Alaska receives $45-million a year for this experimental train called the “Ghost” - and four-times as long as a passenger car, well the laughter can still be heard. But today with SHELL’s drilling rig now part of the Kodiak Island shoreline landscape, the so far MIA M.V. Susitna has an opportunity to show Rachel Maddow a thing or two! And what other vessel with nothing better to do is so well suited for this adventure? It means national press coverage! So finally, we may recoup some of our loses and I am sure glad that the over-paid officers over at Don Young’s failed wood chip facility - the M.V. Susitna Port Authority - were not asleep at the wheel and have found at least part-time employment for this so far waste of steel rusting away. So, bravo, bravo this disaster and the fact the M.V. Susitna will have something to be proud upon – helping SHELL out of a ridiculous situation. But here is my take on it all. Line the M.V. Susitna up with the Kulluk, abandon both vessels then call on the Kodiak Launch Facility to launch a dud rogue rocket named “SARAH” towards that ugly blue eyesore on Sitkalidak Island and if the timing is right, we can test out the Missile Defense Shield and if all goes well, annihilate forever the Kulluk and Susitna, and at the same time target the attacker, the KLF – another wasteful money consuming dud. Take them all out at the same time, and thus my friend will see the 1st sign of decreased government spending now that the 113th is in session. Wow, maybe we can thank SHELL for getting us out of a mess!

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