Ways To Kill Yourself

I keep telling my morning coffee partner that the Anchorage Daily Stool is the best of both worlds. One day it will outdo any trash publication – like National Enquirer – and on other days it will outdo any comic relief. Front page, bottom right corner: “Here is a list of ways to kill yourself on the water in Alaska. Hint: Some involve alcohol.” I had to read it over and over again, as it seemed more in tune to an invite to commit suicide, like “Kill Yourself for Dummies, 101”. Really, reading this just didn’t make sense, but it was front page news. And today the headline article was from Craig Medred, about a minor bear encounter that was turned into an episode ready made for that “Alaska Experiment” show of ridiculousness. If you haven’t entertained yourself watching that reality show, don’t bother – unless in need of a great laugh. Hey, in the article it mentions that the hiker attacked thought the bear ran over him. Hey, this was a sow with cubs! It probably weighed in at close to 800-pounds. Don’t you think one would know the difference? Now just about a year ago in the same area, I too was chased by a brown bear. My story was written but didn’t get any attention, because it was an encounter of a close kind but turned out the way it should, respect. In fact my encounter lasted at least 15-minutes and I had my dog with me. And the paperboy makes it sound nasty, by using the “Grizzly” label. It is not a grizzly bear and Mr. Medred should know better. But with newspaper subscriptions going down the toilet, I guess it takes creative journalism to sell things. More like “Joke Journalism” in my book. Now sitting right down below the clip on “Ways to kill” is another interesting bait me headliner. “No Gas. Yes, TransCanada doesn’t control any North Slope gas. But somehow it has managed to assemble 36,500 miles of gas pipelines.” Well look in your own backyard for an explanation, as Enstar doesn’t own any gas either and has over a 1000 miles of pipeline, right here in Alaska. Do you think Alyeska Pipeline owns any crude oil? Anyway what really gets me is this DNC “crap” I receive as bonafide “SPAM” asking for donations. This one goes to show that our elected - questionable - representatives are overpaid. But what can we do as they have the authority but not the permission to give themselves a healthy pay raise, year after year. Take Ted Stevens for instance. From the day he walked onto the “Hill” impersonating the “Hulk”, his salary has grown from $44-thousand a year to $165-thousand per year. Maybe he gets a stipend for the costume or temper tantrums. In comparison, my salary has been pretty stable to the point of stagnation. In the same time frame, my beginning salary was about equal to Ted’s, $38-thousand but topped off at $83-thousand per year. And Don Young enjoys the same giveaway program. And I get my hands dirty, not from “dirty” money or when picking coconuts. And I had to change my singular discipline to be more sellable, as a “multi-tasked” individual is what was and now in demand. So when at one time I was paid to do only electronic work, now I do that plus electrical work, mechanical work and mop floors in between. In fact, during an oil spill drill, I was asked to help the camp cook prepare meals. Good thing I like to cook. And good thing the union guys were off campaigning instead of watching what was going on. Anyway, the fact that it takes so much money to tame out of control government is beyond ridiculousness. This country needs a revolution to get back what has been lost over the last BCCBB terms of endangerment. That is the Bush-Clit-Clit-Bush-Bush years. The best helmsman this country has seen in a long time was Jimmy Carter. And Regan followed, on Jimmy’s coat tails for success. After that, something went wrong. Take the count, as it seems that this Bush over the Clit thing may be the culprit. Anyway, the DNC is looking for “more” of my hard earned money. In fact they are having a bargain basement deal. If I give a donation, Senate democrats will match it 2 to 1, in effect tripling your impact. Wait a minute, from money to impact doesn’t really make sense. It doesn’t say the payout will be doubled, it just says the impact. So I am confused. And get this from the DNC, “We saw those Swift Boat Veterans impugn the patriotism of John Kerry. And we watched our opponents spread bile lies about Hillary and Obama”. “Bile Lies” to “slimy insinuations”! The entire state of affairs in politics is slimy, and bile? Well you now get the point. Money wasted away for more “crap”. Bottom line, the American Constitution has been “shat” upon by a political mindset that puts ego first and the American people’s agenda somewhere at the bottom of priorities. Lingering is the “slime” of corruption that is running out of money and those responsible for a “bile” democracy think we want to contribute, for more “crap”. It has been said time and time again that money corrupts, so true. But it was supposed to not derail the good intentions of our Constitution. This honorable proclamation, the foundation of freedom for all, was supposed to be immune away from corruption and prosecution, and that is why we have the 2nd Amendment Right - to protect. But we are so controlled, so controlled, that we have lost control of the very reason that makes one want to be an American. Revolution, now there is a word that every politician - if not already scared about - should rethink to what can happen if they continue this “bile & slime” slinging war that is starting to compete against my liberty, my life, and my pursuit of happiness.

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