Poor Tourists!

The Ted Stevens International Airport, the destination of tourists heading to the “Last Frontier”. This airport is one of a kind. Best known for the fact that the flight time up from the lower 48 is quicker then the time wasted waiting for the baggage to arrive on the carousel. And there always seems to be at least one broken belt, so the bags from other incoming flights get commingled and this aids the confusion factor. And tourists are already confused, as it is still light outside even at the midnight hour. And many Alaskans are down right rude to tourists, especially when asked about igloos. See, Alaskans think differently, like they own something or hold a special place in history’s making. When in realityreal©, Alaskans are wimps, as they allow government too much intervention upon themselves. This state enjoys a very powerful state constitution but we allow a few individuals to direct and control our freedoms. In realityreal©, this state would be better off seceding from the McBush union. Do you really think this country is ready for a “black” president? Just the other day, when Hillary finally said enough was enough, Obama showed his true profiles in courage. He speaks like the “King”. He walks like the “King”. So I hope that the wannabes and looserbes allow the dream of justice to prevail. Anyway, the luggage carousel is starting to turn. Wow, first comes a dog carrier. I am glad somebody is looking out for the animals over luggage filled with underwear gone wild through the caring hands of the TSA. Wow, another dog carrier and another and another. Almost like the cargo hold transported a dog usher’s team. But nobody was here to pick of the Fiddos? So the dogs went round and round the carousel. It was cruelty to animals in the act, as there was now this liquid stuff leaking out from underneath a few of the carriers, maybe urine, maybe vomit. It was making me dizzy thinking about it. Wow, we have been on the ground for 30-minutes by now, and still no baggage. Poor tourists, as this lost time is costing them retirement money. Estimators quote that it costs a tourist $200-dollars an hour to visit this state. And I have been away for about a week by now, so I must catch up on things. But it seems as though it is the same old thing. Mrs. Vogue Mature - a.k.a. Governess Palin - is getting slammed on AGIA – Alaska Governor’s Income Authorization. And Senator Cowdery’s wife complains that “his heart stop, so we had to start that again”. And the “Corrupt Bastard Follies” continues to entertain us. On the plane trip up this way I had the opportunity to talk with a few of the “OPERA” tour tourists. No not Sopranos, but “Oil Pipeline Employees Recreation Association. It was a vacation club thing started when Texaco was still around. These days, tourists ask more questions about this state’s corrupt politicians then about endangered animals. Anyway, it is that time of year again wherein this state gets invaded by tourists and government officials that have business that can only be performed when the weather is good. I don’t get it. Why do government officials behave like fair weather friends with “my” money? Everything is cheaper in the winter. And planes are not as crowded. And get this, when in Denver, the plane heading to Alaska was over-booked, so it allowed some to get bumped and get a “free” ticket to anywhere on earth along with vouchers for “freebies”, like food so per-diem could be used for booze. Guess who grabbed the bait? Yes indeed, a couple of FBI agents that were heading north for the “Bastards” continued summertime investigation. Hey, why not. It meant only a day’s delay. So they could hang out at a bar, on “US”! But I speak with more officials that seem to have total control over their work routine and plan these trips in the summer, so they can go fishing! I worked for a company that had a guy electrocuted during the past winter. The safety guy from Texas said he would come and investigate the accident, when the weather was good! I hate to inform people that eating the salmon coming up the inlet this time of year is not a good idea. See, this is the time of year when the dust has settled and that stuff is discharged into the effluent outfall of the Warzonoff waste water treatment plant. Now that dust is made up of dried dog feces. So millions of pounds of once freeze dried “crap” is now floating out upon the inlet, in a clash course with the returning salmon. And this fish species stops eating when it reaches the fresh water tributaries, so over-eating goes on in the inlet. I still eat the fish, but it is still something I am aware of. Hey, it is only dog crap. I hope the human stuff is going somewhere else. But with over 250,000 shits per day heading somewhere unknown, just maybe! So we feed the tourists “crap” and at the same time put up with more “crap”. Do you realize that in most other “cities” of brotherly love pedestrians have the right-of-way? How come this state tries to do everything backwards? See, like mentioned before with a powerful constitution, there is no need to re-invent the wheel of progress. But for some reason this state’s mentality is bent on doing things differently. Take this for instance. Mrs. Vogue Mature - a.k.a. Governess Palin - is sending the state lawyers to file suit against the Fed.’s, over the polar bear endangered listing. See, that will forever ban a drilling rig on any water that turns to ice in the wintertime. It means “no new oil”. What Palin should have done is early on force the act and listed the bear endangered, and insisted on adding funding to help out the native villages that are disappearing at an alarming rate - due to global warming. With the ice pack wilting away, not only is the “white” bear threatened to extinction, so is the coastal village life. This lifestyle should be what brings the tourists north instead of fake crap. It is slowly going away and will soon be lost forever. Instead of “mountains”, this state should be about people, real people, like found in many of the villages throughout this great land. Anyway, tourist season is here once again. I heard one irate traveler complain that this was her third visit and if she didn’t see the “mountain” she was going to get her money back. See, today the weather was normal for this time of year, cloudy. In fact she went on a rant that the “mountain” was just a fake, as she has yet to see it and this was her third go-around. The guide tried to calm her down instilling the fact that a big “mountain” does indeed exist as do “corrupt bastards”. She smiled and asked if those “CBC” hats were still available down at ChinaTown. CBC stands for "Corrupt Bastards Club", a secret and select "club" made famous by this state's corrupt represntation. Really, this tourist mentioned something about the Saturday Market. It used to be an all-Alaskan affair, now it is imported “crap”. Wow, finally the baggage is starting to show up. And those dogs, they are not as happy as before and realize that they are back home, to Alaska, to the same old crap.

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