Ugliest Catch

That is sure to be the sentiment when the legislative plane lands in Barrow. People in Barrow don’t want to be bothered by the CBC entourage. Believe me, the Corrupt Bastards’ Club may have gone down for the count, but the mentality still exists. Just what the hell is going on down in Juneau these days that warrants the House and Senate to spend - waste - thousands flying around the state entertaining eating whale blubber? Maybe it is that “pump head” disease affecting the thinking pattern. The fact that the goons are going to travel around the state to get the people’s outlook on this AGIA thing is pretty ugly in my opinion. I really think this state, especially Anchorage, needs ACIA over this AGIA crap. For “Alaska Crime Incentive Act”, as each and everyday there is another article about how bad the crime is in this state. If I were a tourrist, I would get my money back and stay at home. Look at what happened on Kodiak Island the other day, home of the Kodiak Launch Facility. Is that place still in operation? Anyway, a guy was robbed and left naked. He was on a pilgrimage for God’s sake. At one time not too long ago, the only thing to be afraid of on that island were the bears! And the Anchorage Daily Stool put it in perspective with a cartoon, with residents constructing moats around their houses and those big castle like drawbridge doors, to keep away phone book distributors. You can see which phone company is making money. One outfit just drops the 10-pounds of “crap” at the driveway, another has it hand delivered right up to the front door. It is such a waste, but I bet if you could decipher your phone bill, you would realize that it is costing you for that waste, no matter what kind of delivery is offered. Not even a “select” U.S. Senate Committee was able too make sense out of the non-sense phone charges that amounts to a few pennies here and there but a grand total that is making my ears ring. But getting back to the “Ugliest Catch”. That show that makes the fisherman look like they have a challenging job, well the “Dirty Job” commentator needs a lesson in real Alaska. First, this show is the same thing over and over again. And the way it portrays this line of work with so much emphasis on smoking, it is a crime! This state spends millions of dollars on TV commercials that tries to paint an “ugly” picture of what can happen if one takes up smoking. There is that commercial wherein the aging gentleman must speak through a box attached to his throat, because of cancer. There is the guy that tries to tell kids about the side effects of smoking, but his breathing is so bad it gets the point across. So why glorify such an endeavor like commercial fishing, along with the work force bickering and the smoking, as if it is cool. Smoking showtimes, like happened to the Marlborough commercials, should be banned from TV. Maybe the tobacco companies are behind this “crap” sponsorship. And it is not by any stretch of the imagination what the true Alaskan commercial fishermen put of with in efforts to make a wage. First off, most of these gigantic fishing boats can take rough seas. And most of these boats are owned not by Alaskans but by big corporations that do business out of Seattle. In fact read between the lines and you will see how these big fish corporations hire lobbyist that get legislation passed that hurts the mom and pop fish families, by talking away their livelihood. In fact a Federal judge just recently issued a restraining order against the North American Fisheries Management Council that was adamant at strangling out the small commercial and sport fishermen. A restraining order mind you! This is serious business. But is seems as though the idiot “reality” shows have inundated Alaskan reality. I have learned more “4-letter” words by watching these phony wannabe shows then I knew existed. We have the Ax Men, wherein we hear the same damn thing over and over about tree cutting restrictions! You know what, if the people that start these “veneer” plants didn’t rip off the process there would be a thriving timber business here in Alaska! And then there is the Alaska Experience show. The “Freakiest” show on earth. In fact, hilarious it was as the Alaska Experience show has come to an end – good riddance – and there was a re-union show for the idiot cast of idiots that came “north” to make Alaskan’s look like a bunch of fools. It is no different with this fishing “crap”. You want to show it like it really is, go film an Alaskan family that relies on a little fishing boat for subsistence living. Like the thousands that live along the Yukon River. That is what toughing it is all about. And if you really want a true look into a real Alaskan job, go up to Prudhoe Bay and film the oil workers. When you see facilities as big as football fields, hey somebody is taking care of that stuff. And when you realize that these buildings are registered by TNT equivalent destructive force if something should go wrong – this is the “DANGER ZONE”. Go ahead, follow an oil company’s Emergency Response Team exercise, as the men and woman in protective fire-fighting gear brave the elements - minus 90 Fahrenheit - to protect life and property. All on a volunteer basis! And you won’t see the Coast Guard up here, as the oil workers do it all by themselves, no outside interference required. And if you really want to film a hit show, go watch Jeff King hunt illegal moose. Yes indeed, the Cabbela man is in a pinch. Supposedly he shot a moose in a protected area. Instead of turning himself in, he dragged the dead animal to a camp and commenced field dressing it, then got rid of the evidence - the guts and bones! He got caught! I would say this is cruelty to animals, as that moose probably realized that it was in a protected area and didn’t have to worry about a bullet! And I have heard several versions of King’s excuse – from reliable sources. The King no more it will be when the lawman gets his way. Anyway, that would make for a great hit show, “Illegal Hunters”. It happens all the time here in Alaska. Why not make it a hit show. Imagine eating dinner with the family and watching a show wherein wolves are machine gunned to death from a plane! Or watch executives of big Alaskan corporations go out in the woods to bag their Tier II subsistence moose, when people in Anchorage line up at the soup kitchen! And for a real good “Dirty Job”, just go to one of the many prisons that incarcerate one of Alaska’s “Corrupt Bastard” politicians. In fact, a show about Don Young talking about Linda Pelossi and her “Rabid Skunk” disease would indeed get people laughing. Anyway, Alaska gets screwed over when “fake” shows use this state’s namesake for glory. Man, I haven’t had a cigarette for 30-years. But I have the urge, as I guess it is OK to smoke, being an Alaskan and it is fishing season. At least it will keep the mosquitoes at bay. Hey, that would be a real good show, “Combat Fishing the Russian River”. Talk about un-sportsmen like conduct, this it where it gets beyond ridiculous. Hey there’s a “fish on” call! Hey, there’s an irate fisherman’s lady cutting everybody’s line that didn’t heed the warning. Wow, guns are coming from out of holsters. Is there a bear? No, just a normal day on the river. Just a normal day in Alaska, RealityReal© Alaska!

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