Smithsonian Sloppy Joe Special

I decided to renew my Constitutional vows, that I would never trust a Russian. Especially one that immigrated to “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” in tow highly educated parents, joined the USMC so “fast track” citizenship was his reward for serving time, then when “In” continues to kiss Putin’s ass. Dear Mr. Semper Fi, it was not just the voting booths that were hack attacked by the Russians. Putin is exporting kids to America that join the military then get free education courtesy Uncle Sam and with success of graduation, continue to be comrades-in-arms an allegiance forever while living a “Life of Riley”. And that “fast-track” allows the entire family to get Americanized with both Putin’s very own foot soldiers infiltrating our military and  "happy hour" society. See, that is part of the deal, stay tuned into Moscow’s infiltration and destruction of Democracy! OK, I decided to take a walk on the wild side and navigate over to this thing called a “Library”. I did not realize “finders keepers losers weepers” such an historic iconic institution was still in business, especially with net-neutrality making eavesdropping on your neighbor’s privacy easy as pie. We have become a “Spy verses Spy” society, it ain’t civil! Technology is good, but NOT this good. And with inflation, how much does an overdue fine cost these days? The last time I paid an “overdue book fee” was in 1988 while returning a copy of Steven Hawking’s “A Fake History of Time”. But back then I argued with the teller, that since the “Big Bang Black Ugly Bastard Hole” theory was proven to be a hoax, why in heel spur kitchen should I pay a fine - in fact burn the book was my sentiment! I felt sorry for the teller, as a majority of the waitresses at the card indexes these days are from Volunteers of America - old hippies! And she went really upset when I questioned why Hawking’s never won a Nobel prize like Einstein? Because a 13-old Russian immigrant has discovered a “Theory of Creation” that works and discourages the “Big Bang” dream that which can never be proved so is the ultimate “job for life” for many men & women of “hoax” science. Like “Bigfoot” is for real! Now when I was finally allowed into book worm haven, it was the magazine closet that gained my attention - as I am not a very serious reader, preferring to pen an “opine” here and there on just about any subject matter what matters what happens in Rome stays in Rome. Did you hear that the newest Supreme Court nominee, that Jester Brett Kavanaugh has issued his first dissent “opine”, that “Taxation of beer is Un-Constitutional”? Anyway wow, here is the “Smithsonian”, I had no idea the young minds of America still read this “true” science novelty that was a mainstay during my college bound years. Want to pick up girls, have a “Smithsonian” and a slide-rule at the bar! OK, I received an honorary degree in bar stool equilibrium, from Charles Bukowski when studying at his “Dead Writers Club” in Boston. This is wherein I learned to write, with a beer bottle in both hands. But wow, this Smithsonian: The Big Wave quest with the “Mount Everest of Surfing” and “Secrets of the Scrolls” and the “Battle to Remember”…wait just a dangling participle dangling conversation moment! Maybe it’s the light in this library, way too dim due cut-backs to pay for the corporate tax shelters of the Donald Jong Trump “massacre” administration, and just wait until Thanksgiving Day! But this is…even harder to believe! The adds that support this once cherished scientific journal, the same outfits that swindled my dad and many other senior citizens out of their life savings. From full-page “Fake” jewelry to retirement living that sounds too good to be true especially when a loved one dies and that “Reverse Mortgage” finds you homeless because the fine print says so to another full-page of “Fake” gems to “Fake” watches - of course it’s “Fake” as everything costs $99-bucks. And why not give away your “Trust Fund” to solid-gold-coin shysters? More “Fake” pearls and now it’s onto the medical “snake-oil”. Now where in hell is that “Surf’s Up” article I was once-upon-a-time interested in, not anymore! Wow, finally an interesting article, about how Fascism never died then 3-pages of “Hearing Aid” advertisements followed by more “Fake” jewelry more hearing aid adds more junk and…is this for real? Low and behold, the ultimate in pilferage an advertisement that spells it all out, from Publishers Clearing House. It is Publishers Cleaning House or maybe “Cheating” house. WIN $1000 A Day for Life! No purchase or payment necessary to win. Why praytell, it’s against the law but when you sign up for nothing you will soon be in debt as this is the ultimate “mind game” Ponzi scam, and soon you will be paying out 300x the normal price of a tin can of cashews that you can buy on the cheap at any of the “Dollar Stores” sea to shining sea. It’s a “mind game” scam wherein the elderly think they can get ahead when before indulging were already ahead and end up spending hard earned money on “junk”. My father went into that “Big Black Ugly Bastard Hole” for close to a $100000-bucks for stale “Apple Crisp Cookies” and what tasted like way out-dated “cashews”. When I intervened for my now “poor” dad and complained to PCH because being broke those nasty-grams from PCH sounded like Trump had re-instated “Debtors Prison” and privatized it so all the beds and cells would soon be over-crowded, the agent told me if the package was opened, it could not be returned. Then I told her it was all junk, that the elderly don’t have the dexterity or mindset to read the fine print and this was “elderly abuse” and she quickly told me to keep the “junk” and zeroed out my father’s account - right then and there with a simple assault threat! I was aghast this easy way out, until she told me she was in total agreement with my assessment?  She actually thanked me for taking care of my elderly father. So maybe that is why I no longer visit the library, as it is a villain in disguise when once scientific journals of credibility must resort to “Fake” campaigns to keep the printing press pushing out that subscription. Our senior citizens should beware of scams that show up in magazines or as counterfeit “comfort” advertisements in the mail. The elderly remains subject to constant bombardment with “crap”, and it is so easy for many to fall prey these scams.  So word to the still wise, don’t buy any junk you don’t need based on the fact you think the purchase will bump you up the ladder of success with wealth, it won’t provide any relief in that category. And when it becomes an addiction, soon that savings will be drained to “zero” and then denial sets in like FOXcopulation Syncopia rigor-mortis and the UK now allows a white man to call a black passenger on a plane a “Black Ugly Bastard” and get away with it, as this is the nation that produces the “Be Best” in “FAKE” science and Russia leads the pack in “Turncoats” infiltrating the ranks of our military. As far as the library, burn the basement bargain chain migration magazines that take advantage of our senior citizens through “Fake” as if you asked those that have fallen prey to “money laundering through crookedness” the advertisements found in popular journals, ask them with seriousness if  they would again serve to protect this nation - maybe they would tell you to call Putin!