Sympathy Vote

So many on the outside – lower-48 – are asking once again “Why Don Young”? Mention Don Young and you'll get an earful of laughter, criticism and very little affirmation from “outsiders” that promotes an impression of a “Statesman Young”. Look, Don is known to instigate a continuous abuse of office, that is indeed laughable at this point in his 22-term career. One would think that after so many years in Congress, with oath after oath, there would be some semblance of responsible behavoir. Not so with Mr. Don Young! Take for instance some of his chilling legacy of record now and forever part of the “National Archive”. Calling Nancy Pelosi a “Rabid Skunk”, the “beanie caper”, or when he tried to arm wrestle a security guard because he napped too long and was late for a vote on immigration, and how about the time when he went pissed at some historian for calling bluff on Young's “You are My Servant” rage? The list goes on, and is un-becoming behavoir indicative of an un-happy individual. Look, those in Congress have it made, so a smile is easy! Probably Young's most memorable moment here in Alaska was when he thought it proper making ridicule upon Ethan Berkowitz's speech impediment, during a debate back in 2008. The audience - even many Young supporters - went very upset, yet Don did not sustain any adverse voter criticism and still beat the odds, and he was voted in again as “Alaska's-At-Large” representative - based on a very “Large” ego. But to those outsiders wondering again why Alaskans decided to vote back in the coward, the man responsible for engineering the largest and most corrupt “Highway Appropriations Bill” ever of record and considered by his own colleagues a tragedy, we voted Don back in because we feel sorry for him. Yes, today with Alaskans it is a “Sympathy Vote” for Don Young and the same will work again in another 2-years and again until such time Don is RIP! See, Don has been censured by the “House” and will never again hold an elite office, even with his senior citizenship. So Don is like a “Dead Man Walking” around the “House”, no power and not a whole lot to do except take up space and waste time – so he fits right in with the “Do Nothing Congress”. In fact, mention the name “Don Young” around a lobbyist and they run for cover, like maybe Don has been infected by EBOLA! In fact, many of his aides even refuse to enter his office, with all those foreign animal trophies – from Ebola land! Honestly, he is not very well liked anymore even at local scene cafeterias that would give out free coffee to members of Congress and those in need – yes, the homeless get more attention. But the “Sympathy” vote is justified, and we owe that to Don. See, we don't need Don's piss'n vinegar anymore, as Alaska has become a self-sustainable state with no interest any longer in shining as the largest “Welfare” state and bringing in massive amounts of regurgitated U.S. Taxpayers' loot, for all kinds of ridiculousness. Like “Bridges to Nowhere” and trying to measure the penis length of a Muskoxen – yes we did, received “Agricultural Husbandry” loot for the study, but couldn't find anybody crazy enough to attempt such a task. But we finally built Don his “Bridge”. For years, when under the umbrella of Ted Stevens, Alaska bathed in Federal appropriations that went beyond decency – it even pisssed John McCain off as Alaska was seeing 3-dollars in return for every dollar taken away as income taxation. 3 to 1, so we had loot coming out of every orifice - the reason we elected Sarah, we needed an extra outlet! And even with the Obama “Stimulus”, Alaskans made out better then any other “State of the Union”, taking in $2000 per household when the national average found $800! And today, with a “State Budget Reserve” estimated at over $50-Billion, we don't need representation that fights for our fair share - the main reason we booted Begich out - as we have enough to go it alone and care no more for Uncle Sam's handout. So we voted Don back in, under a sympathy vote and ask nothing in return! Don has been at it in Washington for well over 45-years, and over these years Don has been compared to Nanny Pelosi, so we will continuee using that trender. Now Don and Nancy have been at it for almost the same amount of time and due seniority have been almost equal in “power” - to get things done. And let's face the facts, todays politicians look out for themselves as the secret finds the reality that “If not a millionaire upon entering this House, you will leave a millionaire”. Nancy now claims a “Net-Worth” of over $100-Million, and has no hesitation cheering on the fact that she used “Congressional Insider Trading” to inflate her worth – just like every other member of Congress. See, it is not against the law! Don, well he doesn't even list his “Net-Worth” following his most recent win, as before the 2014 bid, poor Don was only worth $800k and with a massive legal debt – he is probably today broke. So he needs this job, and since he has most recently married, there may be mouths to feed on the way! Now had he not found himself in trouble and still maintained a power ACE, he could have already jumped ship like Eric Cantor, and easily found himself a $3-Million a year job along with a $10-Million signing-up bonus! But the “Lobby” will not touch Don, so he has no place to turn, except keeping it going. Sure he could retire and head back to Ft. Yukon and teach, but he may be banned from such activity – due his run in with the law. Yes, Don Young will go down in history as the poorest U.S. Representative. So we do it to give the old man a break, as he knows his way around the “House”, wherein the bathrooms are located and expect nothing in return but some laughter. He did his time, and now that nobody on the “Beltway” will give Don the time of day, we go out of our way – as payback. For what, time may tell!

Copied by permission from S. Pam McGee's “Alaskan T'is”