Great White Hope

Wow, Alaska has lost out as the top ranking oil producing state - so what's next? No, its not loosing out its status as the top provider of welfare and “Bridges to Nowhere” and a “Ferry Nobody Wants”, so it will be something else in this “ranking” category. Maybe the 49er is loosing the luster to muster hunters to this once wilderness paradise for a chance of a lifetime big game heist! Appears that “bagging” rights are way down, so that means “bragging” rights also. “Yup, shot my moose from 2-miles away with my hi-tech linear accelerator assassin rifle...the one I bought with my PFD welfare check...damn moose didn't even hear it coming...bang then thud...a real McCoy shock and awe mission accomplished...and right from my bunk in camp...to hell with stalking!” Now this is interesting, as ever since the state decided the “Big Bad Wolf” provided no natural significance to a healthy game population and haphazardly spilled “Kill Wolf” poison all around McGrath - Warning: If you are pregnant... - well one would think that there would be plenty of wild game to go around to keep the “bragging rights” front and center of attention with respect to “Big White Hunter” episodes. Now I know Mr. “Shit My Pants” didn't bag any game here in the “Last Frontier” this year, as the license ban is still in effect due “Wanton Waste” violations. No not Jeff King, Ted Nugent! So why all the complaints being heard about empty freezers? Look crybaby, take your $1800 dollar welfare check and buy stuff and leave nature alone – as many wannabe hunters deserve not to “bag” anything as dressing up in camouflage and equipped with a high-powered rifle with hand-grenade sized bullets, it doesn't make one a true hunter. In fact, I would say that a majority of those decked out are “impostors” and couldn't survive in this wilderness if left alone. When one looks at the number of hunter's rescued each year in Alaska's back country, what in hell is that “Hunter Safety” class really teaching? Anyway, it appears from reports that there is plenty of game, as the moose population is thriving – in areas that still find the predators and “NO POISON ALLOWED” signs – and the caribou herds are at an all time high. So are the black and brown bear statistics indicating a no decline cycle. So what gives with all the empty tags? Well hunters have competition, not from predators, but from other hunters as hunting is a totally different sport these days – blame it on the hi-tech world of gotta have this, gotta have that and pressure from outsiders that are deciding on how to manage things. In part, failure at a bagging opportunity is borne out of laziness, as the hunting mindset today thinks “hunting” means backroad-kill opportunities, shooting from the comfort of an ATV with hi-tech rifles that takes away the glory and privilege of a real hunting expedition. Look, shooting any animal with a super-duper high-powered snipper rifle is not “sport”! It's annihilation and there should be placed a ban on such weaponry in the field. If you cannot get off your butt and get close range, then stay home as that is where you belong. So the back-roads of Alaska designated for ATV and ORV that brings one into “legal” hunting territory, well today these once old and abandoned logging and mining roads are crowded, yes traffic jams and trails churned up akin to driving in a North Pole “Mud Bog” demolition derby. And there have been fist fights along these trails, when hunters do not yield the “Right-of-Way” to oncoming trespassers. Yes, trespassers, as the peace and tranquility of the wilderness is under invasion. The state should impose an “ORV” tax, like a highway tax, because of the effect this craze is having in efforts to deteriorating the wilderness! With that, so is the increased noise level of such trespassing warning the game to run for cover and nature does indeed learn – it's that survival thing. When nature sees crazed individuals all dressed alike and flipping each-other off, it finds reason to laugh while escaping. Look, visitors get very upset when they drive that long road into Denali, and see nothing, not even the mountain top. That was not always the case, as some 25-years ago, that road would take you on an Alaskan Safari – one would see it all, except the mountain's top which is obscured with clouds 364-days a year! But over time, as more buses and high-class coaches started disrupting the tranquility of that once lonely road, nature heeded the warning and changed course. So what was once a common extravaganza of nature showing off, today there is still that same “extravaganza” but where no roads traverse. Nature ain't stupid and wants not “bragging rights” for photo opportunities. So there is a reason as to why many hunters are upset, tough is my sentiment! I used to hunt, when hunting was still a game of hide and seek, wherein stalking for hours was the rule of thumb, taking timeouts at identifying tracks as nature tried its best to camouflage – taking time to enjoy the entire game! Nothing like driving north over Thompson Pass in the fall, to areas that have not seen a human for decades. Out and about following what may have been an Athabaskan trade trail wherein “respect” was still a requirement. Or like sailing over to Montague Island, tracking deer as bears tracked the hunter in the ultimate game of pursuit! Yes, ursus has become smart to the sound of a gun shot – it means fresh meat. Green Island was also a very good place to test the challenges of man verses nature, what a beautiful place it was. This was all before the ship wreck. After that, I gave away my rifle. Actually, I gave up hunting after realizing that the V.P. of once-upon-a-time ARCO – salary at $500k – considered himself and family Tier II subsistence hunters! What a load of bullshit as in efforts to qualify, one must rely on the “meat” to survive? See, back then pressure was starting to change the face of Alaska and it would only be a matter of time wherein we would be caught off-guard, and let Sarah Palin show off. Like fishing, Alaska is not what it used to be in terms of stocking up for the winter. So things have changed, as it is an attitude of laziness and privilege that has invaded. And a wannabe attitude is also something to fear, as this new age reality “Off the Grid” crap is causing an entire different mindset to move here. I did have the opportunity to go on a hunt using an ROD – Rig of Destruction – but spending all day getting nowhere and come-along after come-along wrecking every standing tree around just to get nowhere – it was not my fancy for enjoying a “hunt”. So I am glad I had the opportunity to hunt in Alaska when hunting was truly what it should be. My take on hunting today in Alaska is this. It should be banned for the sport, and restricted to “Subsistence Only”. Qualifying for subsistence should be based on birth right. If you are born in Alaska, then you qualify. If an outsider, you can get a permit to carry a camera! Same with the PFD, born outside, stay outside if you don't like what I have to say. See, the PFD has become a maggot magnet – and maggots given the opportunity will turn anything into a heap of rotting garbage – exactly what is occurring in Alaska! Sorry, as Alaska has changed, considerably. It is no longer the “Last Frontier” and more in tune to an impostor hostage situation wherein it is becoming a “Lost Frontier”. Said again, it may never be the same, and too bad but at least I have memories of the way it was – something even a PFD can't buy!