3-Clicks....

Wow, for some reason my cable box is on the blitz, only 3-channels out of 10000000000! Best look outside, as maybe the sky is falling, weighted down from one too many satellites or due 10-trillion cell phones in “Texting” mode causing a traffic jam! What in hell do I do doo, only 3-channels? Good thing the Giants' game is over. And I am hooked on the boob tube and it's Saturday night, what do we do - and the pop-corm has finished popping and we are baby-sitting the grand kids? So Channel-69 is working, a FOX broadcast called, well the screen keeps freezing up, missing pixel packets due the traffic jam, but Hem^1001Hann&0101...Hemorrhoid Hannity. I've seen his face before? Was it “America's Most Wanted”, sure looks suspicious? He's interviewing a guy called Jindal that looks like a failed “ET Call Home” experiment. Thought maybe more packets gone missing, but it must be a costume? OK, but I am not interested in costume jewelry – its fake. Grandpa, what's Viagra? Holy shit, an erection commercial. Click. The History channel appears to have a problem also, it's broadcasting but the content seems awkward as here is a show called Mick Dodge, the “Legend”, looks like a weirdo that gambled away his clothing, now naked and rubbing muddy slime to cover up something - is this an “Adult” channel – “Rub it On, slime me babe, slime me”? Skip that. Now I find a show on MSNBC called, I think...looks like “Hairball” with some guy named Chris Mathews. He's posing in front of the Liberty Bell, he's crying – wonder what happened? Grandpa, what's Viagra. Another erection commercial. Back to Hemorrhoidid Hannity, now he's interviewing an Ann Coultergiest, it's close to Halloween, just more horror in costumes. Grandpa, what's constipation....click. Back to History discovering Mick Dodge bent over and mooning the audience and asking the camera crew to rub mud on his “Butt” - hazardous duty pay, sure looks hairy scary. “Hairball” again, Chris Matthews still sobbing over the crack in the Liberty Bell – anybody got some already been chewed? How boring! Grandpa, what's diarrhea? Hemorrhoidid Hannity again, now he's interviewing a guy in a “Tin Man” costume, a guy called Santa Cruz that wants to run for chief predator...sorry missing pixels, a run as president? Answer me this, did a loony bin have a breach? I forgot, it's Halloween and this must be a costume special on FOX's Hemorrhoid Hannity. Grandma, does grandpa use Viagra? What is with these erectile dysfunction commercials? Click, hope the damn batteries don't give out and we get stuck with an erection! Wow, now Mick Dodge the “Lunatic” is running mud-cake naked through the Olympia forest, good thing summer vacation is over with and family campers have vacated the wilderness and our children are safe at home, in front of the Viagra commercials! Isn't there a law against this, yes these commercials during prime time and a fruitcake running naked across the screen, during prime time? Click again. Dear “Mr. Hairball”, the bell is safe! Grandma, what's constipation? Click, click, click! Man the Hemorrhoid can sure find the freaks, now there is a guy being interviewed named....Please Standby Due Weak Signal....Kruat Hammer - that looks as though he has been subject to the likes of Frankenstein, the Mummy, Dracula, maybe an erection lasting more then 4-hours followed by diarrhea then constipation - as Hemorrhoid did mention Sarah Palin. My grand-kids are scared, hurry change the channel, don't wait for the commercial! Mick Dodge again, “Dodging the Truth”, is this guy for real? See, he found a camp, can't be a homeless camp as he is cooking his meal on a Le Creuset “Signature” skillet – a high dollar item you don't pick up at a “Thrift” store. More Viagra, click. And “Hairball” is still wasting time tuned into Mathews sobbing at the bell, like time is standing still. Maybe he has an erection lasting...Grandpa....Click. Now Hemorrhoid Hannity has a panel, called the “Bimbo Blonds”, wow must be a take on a “Wife for Mick”. The “Legend” continues, as “Hairball” is still choking on a “Hairball”. Do sponsors waste money on this stuff? I mean is constipation, diarrhea and an erection coverage so big a deal that it has taken over all commercials, how about a Fruit-Loops commercial to lighten things up, at least its a conversation piece for me and my grand-kids! But this may have been a test, as to what is reality today and confronting future generations. The “RIGHT”, the “LEFT” and the “FRINGE” is what it amounts to “these days. You figure out the order to who and what belongs to what category, as today it is interchangeable. OK, what I learned from this test besides the fact we suffer from not enough crap to too much crap and in between we must deal with the hard-ons – the news' guys that can't move, I flashbacked on a 60's pledge, “Shoot Your TV”! Honestly, does anybody get excited watching Sarah? Now Hemorrhoid Hannity does his best to inform the viewers that politics is just a costume show circus, and he is the ringmaster. For those disgusted in the news, fantasy land seems to be the cure – no thinking involved – just find a guinea pig that likes to act stupid and look stupid in front of a camera, done deal. See, we like to watch stupidity, don't know why, must be something that makes our IQ stand above and beyond that of “stupidity”, so we watch it as it makes us feel superior to the inferior, until we do something stupid – like watch FOX or MSNBC. I once performed a test way up north on a remote island wherein oil wildcatters were trying to hit a “Good Pasture” vein. At chow time, as roustabouts pigged out on burgers without brew, they would get throughly in bed with FOX, and you could see how it incited “hate”. And if Sarah Palin was live for the guys, some idiot “pusher” would pass out “Viagra”! It's an island in the middle of nowhere, yes 120 guys and one gal – at least I think a she, who else would use the women's john – all packed onto an island the size of a football field's end zone. So I rigged the TV so only cartoons would show during chow time. At first, workers went upset and almost exercised a coup, “Where's my FOX”? But after a few days, hey it appeared a more relaxed attitude at lunch, as the “Beep, beep, the road runner” was still holding his own. Yes, laughter it was as we all remember our childhood days, when TV was at its infancy – instead of Viagra commercials, TV dinner advertisements. See, men back then didn't suffer from erectile dysfunction! So there is something in our diet that makes, will leave it at that. Anyway, with cartoons instead of the FOX, there was a calmness in the crowd and after a week we were seeing more productivity and less accidents, as the “Toons” worked to relax the crew instead of FOX inciting bad blood. Look, you don't want a roustabout on Viagra and intimidated by the rabid FOX loose on a drilling rig! But in reality due reality, there exists only 3-channels that controls our destiny. As we have before us a choice. Go “Left”, Turn “Right” or remain in the “Fringe”. But maybe it should be cartoons, as what we see before us today on the political scene is indeed “Loony Toons” on steroids and that seems to be what politics is all about. Too bad we couldn't just “click” them all away, better yet, overdose them with Viagra, wherein “sticking it” finds a whole new meaning. Grandpa...