Remember when the Paper-Work Reduction Act made its debut? It was an act in-acted upon by Congress in efforts to cut down on paperwork. The question, did it work? See, following the act’s ribbon cutting ceremony, it seems government procurement went budget crazy buying printers. But that may have been OK, as paper is recyclable. What’s that? Oh, there was also a worker reduction act put in place at the same time in efforts to boost the congressional pay, so there isn’t anybody available to manage the recycling efforts. Can you imagine being in a position to give yourself a pay raise? So, as far as P-WRA, it didn’t do anything for nobody – except make toner cartridge distributors handsomely well-off. Yes soirée, just throw that damn black crap right into the landfills. And landfills are getting ready to infiltrate, with “trash gas” electrical generation. Think about it. Is all that garbage and crap breaking down to “methane” only? Anyway, I have taken it onto my own to declare a “bin” reduction act - or BRA - in efforts to streamline the delays when checking in at an airport. Look at it this way. Congress is out to lunch. The presidency is out to lunch. So somebody must look after my own good. Anyway, it means only one bin to escort one’s belongings along. So the motto can be “one bin, no sin”. So the other day I held my own trial debut. There would be no “bin” for the shoes. And no “bin” for the small carry-on pack I usually travel with. In the end, it meant only one “bin” for the laptop. Now I just happened to get stuck in a “Homeland” line that for some reason or another was built and designed by one of those monkeys under quarantine down at the National Institute of Health. Really, there was this damn building “I” beam right in the critical path, where you have to direct your own bags into the “tunnel of Hell”. And it was like a mini detour for cattle under siege! Confusion is what they like and nowadays the TSA can’t help move the goods along, something to do with liability laziness. And please by all means remember this tidbit. Don’t look entertained when in line, as the “Face Lift Behavioral Specialists” are watching your every smile. According to TSA briefings, the general public should behave like cattle being rounded up for slaughter. What gets me is this. I don’t smoke. And I don’t care if others smoke, but why in hell do these idiots have to smoke right at the door exits? And the other day, at this same airport I was trying out the “bin” idea, travelers were outnumbered at least 3 to 1 by the proud men and women in uniform. So it looked like a TSA smokers’ convention. No wonder health insurance is skyrocketing. Anyway, I finally succeeded in getting my sneakers, carry-on and laptop onto the gismo conveyor belt that shoots rejected suspected terrorist stuff back at innocent travelers like it is a Raptor missile engagement tryout. I saw one guy get his hand caught between “bins” during the reject act. He required medical attention. So I finally get through the maze of amusement, only to find my right foot’s sneaker “gone” astray. Maybe that is what caused the burning rubber smell! And when I tried to explain this to the agents, I was verbally prodded to move along. With that, I insisted on making a mini-scene, until out of nowhere two big bouncers quickly moved into arrest the commotion. I knew it was time to move on. You don’t mess with the TSA bouncers. Did you see that photo op when they made that poor young mom pick up a dropped then broken nursing bottle? They must import these goons from the Russian Gulag. So I was now walking through the airport lopsided. And I had to pee. And it was past noon, so urinals at the airports are on overflow. I was pissed, until I caught a glimpse of Katie Couric advertising herself in efforts to fight cancer. Really, she is the cover-girl for breast cancer check-ups. It is still a major atrocity right here in America. What a smile of life she portrays. Plus, she is a good looking babe! So it calmed my nerves. Then the thought came upon me that maybe I could get on the plane early, as I now had a handicap – being lopsided. Hey, how come everybody needing extra time to board a plane these days accounts for about 80% of the plane’s capacity? Because people cheat! So I thought I could play the same game. But that was a short lived possibility, as I was traveling on SWA, wherein seating assignment is replaced by chaos. Wow, it worked – the missing shoe routine – as I was able to recover a window seat. I would say that the boarding agents felt sorry for the one-shoed lopsided guy. It was good until Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble showed up to each take an entire seat plus an extra third to fit their fat asses upon. I am getting perturbed spending money for a seat and getting ripped off by only getting to use a portion of it. The airlines should have a rebate system. And Fred kept stepping on my shoeless foot, thinking that “myspace” was his floor space. People are truly rude when traveling. I had about enough room to read maybe a quarter length of the newspaper that was stuffed in the puke bag holding compartment. What is that stuff dripping off the paper? It smells like puke. Talk about puke, why in hell is Laura visiting Dubai in efforts to educate woman about cancer? Hey, idiot, what about the problem right here at home? See, if her idiot husband wasn’t spending all this money on some ridiculous war, maybe there would be more smiling woman around, just like Katie. But no, as many smiles are short-circuited by the bad news, which means get used to having a boob removed and then the loss of hair. It is such an atrocity, and Laura is out campaigning oversees. When right here and now my wife is going through the grieving process because “another” good friend has been given the bad news. Actually, the picture of Laura away from her castle – a.k.a. White House – was one for the record books of “OOPS”. And did you get a look at how uncomfortable Laura was when sitting there amongst ladies of a different culture? It was interesting, as all the ladies were so close that their bodies were touching, but Laura was sitting their like she was amongst lepers. See, these women had cancer! Yet, Laura had her legs crossed and had space. It was that body language thing saying she was pissed. Bottom line, it has been known for years that the number one possible breast cancer “seed” is that caused from “aluminum”. It is in body deodorant. That is where the lymph nodes can digest the metal. Hey, it has been known for eons that “heavy metals” when absorbed into the human dietary tract can over time cause everything to fail. Like the liver and kidneys. So, would a “light weight” metal be of any difference? And we get an extra boost of the “enlightening metal” from drinking out of aluminum cans - it is called the etching process. Hey, when I was a kid, we used soda to clean the metal spokes of our bicycles. Now when that stuff stays contained in a can on a shelf, you don’t think some kind of reduction reaction is taking place? Anyway, to see that mediocre advances in breast cancer have kept this debilitating disease on the forefront of the American female killing fields, it doesn’t sit so well. When at the same time we can spend billions for mediocre democracy infiltration. Maybe we need some new acts of contrition. But like mentioned beforehand, don’t expect anything tangible or concrete from Washington. It is called the “lame” decease. They are all out to lunch. And Laura, well she needs to get a life, and focus her efforts on extending life right here in this country instead of taking her stuck-up snobbish royalty attitude over to some rich oil country – where she can’t even feel comfortable amongst the “people”. She could go on the warpath against the big aluminum magnates. But that would mean siding with the democrats, and then she may also be in competition with Katie, and she doesn’t have the willpower or gusto to ever come close to competing with a real lady. Jealousy, a pretty lousy sin isn’t it? So Laura, your husband has squandered away a bunch of resources that could have cured this dreaded disease, or at least placed it on the endangered list. But no, his majesty thought that invading another country was more important. More important then “41,000” Katie Couric like smiles! So in a nutshell Laura, in 2006 your husband spent $200-billion to fund his stupid war. All total for that same year, only $2-billion was spent on breast cancer research. It is estimated that 35,000 people were killed in Iraq during the 2006 time-frame. On a comparison basis, 41,000 AMERICAN women died, because there is yet a cure for breast cancer. War, is it more important then a women’s smile? Breast Cancer Reduction Act, what a concept!
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