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Thursday, October 11, 2007

Have Another Hit...

Have Another Hit…
“Of fresh air.” So those opposed to lifting the ban on “Emissions Testing” here in Anchorage “No Longer a Bowl of Smog” have in some way or another a vested interest, like a business that is tied and relied upon by this ridiculous waste of money. I use the word “ridiculous waste” for the no longer needed aspect of this argument, as it affects both the payee and payer. I got screwed as a consumer. The businesses got screwed as a consumptive. Back a few years ago, when the city’s air monitoring “Geiger” counters went berserk, it wasn’t due to raw vehicle emissions, but this assault was aggravated by “Big Oil” trying to make a fast buck. It had to do with an additive that some how or another was on demand approved by our Congress. See, if we don’t bend over to Ted’s and Don’s wishes, they turn off the “pork” spigot. What it amounted too was a type of cloning science, wherein the “White Coats” had taken worthless crap and made it into valuable crap. Basically, it was made from raw hydrocarbon constituents that would normally be considered hazardous or wasteful, into a value added product. Scientists can stretch the truth, with this thing called a reformer. Sounds like we could use one of those things for the politicians here in Alaska! Anyway, it was a cheap way to make something out of nothing. But when it was pumped from an underground storage tank along with “normal” gasoline at conditions of temperature and pressure more comfortable down-below then the ambient conditions above that the pumping public was subject too - during early morning rush hour - the value added crap vaporized and went into the atmosphere. That program was quickly abandoned, as this stuff was starting to contaminate not only the breathable air, but the Aquifer - “our” ground water fountain of survival. When I say “quickly, it was in effect about 3-years before the water started tasting funny. Alas, the air in and around Anchorage started to see light, except for inclusion of horrendous quantities of dried dog feces! So good quality air had nothing to do with this “Emissions Testing” rip-off. Why? It has long been known that the “stand-still” emission testing required under current rules and regulations to screw the general public, it does not really and truly and honestly test a vehicle’s engine. The only way to truly and seriously test an engine is by subjecting the vehicle to a “dynamometer” test. In such a test, the vehicle can be run through a set of staged test points, from idle to full throttle and also simulate a “Round-About. That cannot be done with the existing “Mickey Mouse” type of test that costs you and I an arm and a leg every other year. Now the “dynamite” dynamometer was considered the only way to go, but abandoned as it was deemed just too costly a piece of equipment and would most likely cost the public about $500 a test whack. And at that time, the only guy certified by the EPA was a senator. How about that! So, it didn’t make sense, as it was known all along that modern day vehicles are not the “culprit” contaminating our air. I already mentioned the doggy do-do! And get this, when that testosterone enabled teenager revs up that bronco busting pickup with side winder type pipes bigger in diameter then the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline, all that noise is followed by a plume of pollution. This is one of those loopholes again, as this cannot and will not be tested by the existing “emission” police. See, engine noise is made quiet by the path of most resistance. If that path is cut short, by either over powering the throttle or using one of those illegal exhaust bypass valves, the pollution control system is overloaded, and thus the engine pukes out nasty pollutants - like BETX. That stands for Benzene, Ethylene, Toluene and Xyzlene. And we had an experiment going on over in Valdez, wherein the residents were subject to an atrocious dosage of this crap, as it was belched constantly from the crude oil storage tanks owned by “Big Oil”. This was back in the 80’s, and all that data was angered useless by the “Big” wreck. So it was worthless. But John Harris is still kicking up a storm, so the air must be OK. Talk about wrecks. Hey, if Dick “Train Wreck” Tranni gets his kid’s way, that blue smoke he talks about is bound to screw up the air quality. So maybe during the festivities wherein the dog pisses and craps all over one’s house due the noise of obliteration, all vehicle traffic should be banned - to offset the pollution effects caused by “Adults Overdosed on Testosterone”. Fireworks I am talking about! See, if not, the city air monitoring “Geiger” counters could once again go berserk. That would warrant air quality health alerts to be issued. Soon we would have assemblymen rushing to the podium with calls to reinstate the “Emissions Test” program, once again. Then we will be stuck with the “dynamo” test, as it is the only test now approved by the EPA and that senator wants to capture the market. And we will get stuck with that $500 dollar test fee. And in efforts to audit this new testing, it will require hiring more DMV experts, so that vehicle registration will also be on the increase. My calculation places it at a 7% increase. Hey, that number rings a bell. Maybe there is a conspiracy in the making. It is what they wanted all along! Take it away for awhile, then hit us up again, bigtime! Blame it on “Global Moaning”, as that seems to be the only way to get something done these days, just listen to “Big Oil”. By the way, since we are talking vehicles and Anchorage drive-bys, take this test. On a multi-lane road, you come across a school bus traveling in the opposite direction. The red lights are flashing. Do you stop? It depends, according to the traffic police. If there is a raised center medium, then stopping is not required. If there is no medium, stopping is required. OK, makes sense, as the medium could be considered a “safety” island. But here in Anchorage, we use the method of least materials for the most amount of money paid contractors. Over time, it seems as though the desired method to resurface roads is to just throw down another layer of “crap” category asphalt. And within a few years time, the surface of the overlaid road is equal to the once upon a time raised medium! So if raised mediums are supposed to act as “safe zones” for little kids crossing the roads, why do we skimp and make it unsafe? Now I am confused, as I don’t know if there is or was a raised medium. Therefore, I stop all of the time and make other drivers resort to “horn” blowing, followed by these looks as though I am stupid. Here’s another one. I bike and I drive. I try to take the opposite side when out and about. That is why you will see me driving around with a helmet. Actually, that is because of the gang warfare and drive-by shootings. Anyway, bikers and drivers need a compromise - especially at intersections. Now this goes only for bike riders and motorists that obey the law to begin with. If you are a bike rider waiting out the right to proceed, relax and take your hands off the handle-bars. This will indicate to drivers that you are not going to dart out unrepentantly. Now when you know the light is about to turn in your favor, then grab the handle bars, and drivers will then know you mean business. Not a law, but a simple “Exhibitionism Test”!

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