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Sunday, October 7, 2007

True North Persecution

True North Persecution
In Alaska, there have come many a failed project that sounded good on paper but when built, it just didn’t work. It only had to sound “good”, even if it wasn’t sound research that promoted asset investment, as “pork” ear bosses hear only what “they” like. Who’s your campaign daddy? We have more “Serial #1” gadgets with AWOL government procurement stickers then does all of NASA combined. Actually, the only prerequisite to land Federal “grants” this far north is to be a good thief. This country used to provide Federal “loans”, but that disappeared with the give-away program whose main intent was to re-elect corrupt politicians then was superceded by “No Bid” give-away programs, a discriminatory practice that continues to this day. I bet the MythBuster guys could dedicate an entire month with emphasis on the 49er. Except, it would be “BUSTED” time and time again. It dates back to some guy that was going to make Alaska the hi-tech haven of the Geek Squid. Auto-genius, or something to that effect. It was a device that would apply pressure to ones skull, until the pain caused one to tell the truth. And advanced research allowed the pressure points to target specific areas of the brain, in efforts to eliminate the brain’s capacity, or eliminate portions in efforts to create Hulk like thinking. I guess it was just a fancy name for a lobotomy! I think this experiment did work on the three individuals most likely to succeed, as our senators and congressmen have had their ethic responsibility and reasonableness offset through “Stooge” like mentality. I have one “myth” of interest that I would like the MythBuster’s to investigate, but the prevailing “deep pocket” attorneys have warmed me against it. It is a bag of “hot air”, so it is an interest to me as it must be a political hand grenade. Or maybe a senator’s resume. See, I came across a bag of Lay’s “Classic” Potato Chips, while way up north in the Brooks Range. It was a bag of “air” only. Really, never has been opened and to this day satisfactorily “factory” sealed. Like a little pillow. So I called the company’s customer complaint “hot air line” and I was on good talking terms with some offshore “geek” wherein I was being promised all these free coupons to get more air and maybe a potato chip. All was good until I mentioned that it would be a good experiment for the “Myth” boys, as they could then figure out how much is charged for nothing – but air! Next I was routed immediately to the law department. No waiting here. (Them)“Sir, we recommend you don’t do that.” (Me)“How about sending it to Jay Leno.” (Them)”Sir, this is not a laughing matter.” (Me)“Then how about David Lettermen.” (Them)”Sir…” (Me)“Then how about sending it to Ted Stevens”? (Them)“Sir, could that be considered a campaign donation?” Anyway, I still have it preserved, as this is something of interest. It states 0 grams of “Trans” fat. It is supposed to contain all of these other things, but it is just a bag of air! Is our air that contaminated? Hey, where does this packaging air come from? What if the production line guy blows gas, is it sucked up and exhausted into the bags of fried spuds? Maybe I should try selling it on eBay. Hey, odd things from Alaska brings in the “big bucks” as somebody else’s junk is in someway or another tied to a senator or congressmen’s evidence of corruption - so it brings a pretty high bounty. See, “War Chest” money is being utilized to rundown the evidence and have it destroyed in transit as part of the “seek and destroy” Star Wars Initiative test program. What I am getting at is the fact that this state wastes more money then all of the contingent 48 states combined. And even when a program does seem to benefit the taxpayers in advance of just benefiting a politician’s re-election madness, it all falls apart. See, the American taxpayers have spent a zillion dollars on “Brown Bear” research out at the Katmai National Zoo. Web cameras were also installed, so browsers could see the real live action at a distance. It is a very special place wherein bears have been given the opportunity to be as they are in the mists of human observers. Basically, the bears continue to be wild when from all around, “snap, snap, snap”. It is an unbelievable project that is probably the greatest of this century. And the numerous bears that frequent the area to fish and entertain a select and limited viewing public, all have names - as these animals are no different then other “pets. They are all individually distinguishable. They have their own identity in concert with the way they mingle with other bears. It allows a direct connection social event to be observed by humans. It has been a great physiological experiment, one that I didn’t mind paying for. But now though, it is time to reap the harvest. It has been such an investment of dedicated time and energy that somebody felt it necessary to institute rape. See, rape and Alaska go hand in hand, just ask the Native Indians and Lisa. So the harvest has begun. See, trophy hunting has come to this once protected area. Hey, this is Alaska some may say. But it is a little different over at Katmai. More like a re-make of Auschwitz, wherein the Jews were forsaken almost human. But were told, “Trust Us”. The only difference now is the fact that bears are targeted. And one must remember that this is not subsistence type hunting wherein the meat is salvaged for survival. This is hunting for and by the wealthy! Wherein the bear is shot and the gutted remains left behind in efforts to promote cannibalism warfare and welfare. So bears can now feast abundantly on their brothers and sisters. Now it probably costs $10,000 to book this kind of trip – just to get a pathetic rug to be hung over some rich bastard’s mantel. These bears gained a trusting relationship with humans. It required many years for this turn-around behavior and now it has become an evolutionary process, wherein the newly born are schooled to “trust” the humans. It was a trust us, trust me relationship that made this all possible. Now though, the “Killing” fields are alive with imposter like hunters. So from October 1st through the 21st and then again in May, a bag limit of one bear every four years per licensee is allowed to be sacrificed. And it is open to residents and aliens alike. So during this time, “friendly” Yogi will be double-crossed and find itself in the double crosshairs of assholes guided by assholes. See, the bears are not afraid of humans so when approached by a supposedly “trusted” human with a rifle instead of a camera, the bears fear not. So this is premeditated murder in my book. It is nothing close to hunting. This “trust me” thing allows hunters to get very close to the kill zone, so it provides these outlandish photos and videos to accompany the culprits of sleaze during their after hunt bragging rituals. It sucks. This is not Alaska, but like mentioned before, another Holocaust in the making. The guys that dress in camouflage should be ashamed of themselves, to call themselves a true hunter. This is pacified hunting wherein the bears get screwed. And get this. When a camera crew showed up to film this atrocity, this double-crossing, the “BIG GAME” guide promised to bring action in the courts of justice. Something to the effect that the camera crew was “interfering” with a legal hunt. Hey asshole, this is Alaska. Part of America! Wherein we have the right to practice our 1st amendment rights! So maybe it is time for tourists to “boycott” this state of affairs. And for those of you who may have spent time out at Katmai, this Sunday take the time to get out all those photographs - especially of the bears with names. We can start our very own reality TV show wherein we can guess which bear will be the next in line to be double-crossed and fall victim to a trigger happy Hitler, nothing less. True North Adventure? How about True North Persecution! By the way, to book a “double-cross the bears” hunt, E-mail Jim at
jimhkodiak@gci.net or bother him at the office at (907)486-5188 or if booking a hunt is urgent, try his cell phone at (907)539-6178.

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