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Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Missing Coast

Missing Coast
The coast is missing! The coast is missing! For years, “greenies” have been tooting the horn that “global warming” is causing the earth to change directions – in efforts to compensate for man’s mistakes. For the same amount of years, Alaska’s delegation has sworn up and down the halls of Congress that no such warming is taking place. Boy did they blow it. In Alaska, the coast is disappearing. I was at a coffee shop the other day, and entertained myself with the latest addition of the “Coast”. What a mistake, as this once upon a time “good” publication is nothing more then “ads”. I don’t get it. With Alaskans ranking way up there in the “Obesity” category – a whopping 16% increase in the past year – why pollute the printing press with “fast” food adds? And I am talking full-page ads! But the “Coast” is loosing ground, as it is only a third of its original size. The best ad came from the kid blowing away at a dandelion seedpod with the caption, “Wants to be a Forest Ranger”. See, most Alaskans despise the “yellow headed lion”. In fact, Federal pork is spent each summer to employ otherwise unemployed Denalites to eradicate the lion, so it can’t move further north. Anchorage has lost the ground battle. And admittedly, I did indeed lend a helping hand to nature, in efforts to let Doctor Lovelock continue to enjoy his claim to fame as the “Daisy World” theory expert. I like dandelions. So this year I packed with me a ton of seed pods, just waiting to go wild, and delivered them to the northern exposures of the Brooks Range. Now the best “Coast” ad was towards the end. It was Bob Penney! The caption here went like this. “Grandpa’s pillbox is now empty…” It had to be an advertisement paid for by Ted Stevens, through the Kenai River “Give it to Bob” taxpayer rip-off. I always get a kick out of an Alaskan publication that talks about “fine” dining. See, I have the pleasant and fortunate opportunity to travel to places that does indeed have “fine” dining. Like Boston! Like Toronto! So the food ads in the “Coast” don’t really turn me on. Actually, the real “coast” of Alaska is missing in action. See, for years the ice pack acted as a natural barrier that would shelter the coast from wintertime storms. Not anymore, so we need relief. Natural disasters are the best way to steal away the taxpayers’ money. Just ask Trent Lott. Answer me this, why did Lott not want to amend the constitution with a law that would disallow “cock” fighting? But “global warming” is beginning to change the Alaska scenery. Talk about the Alaska “scene”, seems like in the past while traveling and meeting people from other states, it was a positive affair - as Alaska was always that “wow” state. Not anymore, as we are currently the laughed upon state of the union, now that the “Corrupt Bastards” have ruined the image beyond belief and relief. Back to “global warming”. Now I was in no way shape or form a Charles Manson fan. But most recent released tape recordings made by the sheriff’s department during his arraignment found this murderer talking about, “global warming”! Now I have a solution for the disappearing coastline up in Alaska. Since our senators and congressman like to waste money, they can hire the “Blackwater” gang to police the coastline. Instead of M16 assault rifles, shovels will suffice! See, Blackwater is under a whole lot of scrutiny. I don’t argue that this private out-to-make a bundle mercenary for hire company may be playing a valuable role in Iraq, but do you have any idea what these guys get paid? It amounts to about $250,000 a year. And 80% of that amount is tax duty free! So “Blackwater” is having a dilemma. It has nothing to do with the fact that it may have engaged in gunning down innocent bystanders in and around Baghdad. No, it has to do with what to do when the war ends? So “Blackwater” – which employs about a 1000 Don Rumsfeld wannabes – it must find an extension to its lucrative D.O.D. contract. So this outfit is trying to get “our” government interested in hiring it out on a contract basis for natural disaster relief – here on American soil! Answer me this, why is “Blackwater” being picked upon. Just because it was at one time affiliated with HailBurton is not a valid excuse. And it only represents a finite percentage of the total mercenary task force tasked to waste the taxpayers’ money. So I say give in, as without a contract and a future, a force of mercenaries greater then our own military, it is scary. Really, estimates pin the mercenary head count at 180,000 strong, equipped with modern high-tech high-powered weaponry. In essence, such a force could easily control the outcome of this war. It could easily steal away the benchmarks. It could easily delay any American troop withdrawal. Maybe this has already happened – calculated delay tactics! Now I have a very serious question that all senators and congressmen should be required to answer – or else resign! Who approved this idiotic rip-off? So we have as many mercenaries in Iraq as military troops. We pay a little better then a minimum wage to those in uniform. Can you imagine that if tomorrow the wage for a troop was equal to that paid to a mercenary! Why not, we are paying for it anyway. Plus I am sure the owners are raking in a substantial fee for whoring out killers. So Ted and Don and Moanalisa, put your money where your mouth is and raise the troops pay to equal that of a mercenary. The recruiting offices would be jammed with recruits. This country’s enlistment ranks would swell, to the point that guys like Iran’s Mustardhead and North Korea’s Kimdinkbat would indeed look for WMD – Where’s my daddy! Was that an echo? There it is again! “Where’s my daddy”. It must be Ben, looking towards daddy Ted for help. Now at one time that may have been a possibility. But now, WMD is out of the question. Getting back to the mercenaries and the pay that I am paying them. Once again, who the hell signed off on this? I would bet that if Ted could tell the truth just once, I would have that answer. Things unbelievably unethical continue to muddy the American image. And this cannot be blamed on freshmen representatives. No, we must look to those that have been in power way to long. Or to those that circumvent ethical political appointments to allow nepotism to steal away any and all individual American’s a desire to represent this country in the Halls of Congress. And the Alaska delegation’s despicable years of service, dealings, actions and inactions are prime evidence that “cavemen” may have been a better choice to serve the people of the 49er!

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