MoanaLisa “49er” MurCowpie

Wow, right before George H.W. Bush recited his rights to passage 1000 points of light in life, Alaska was taking all the heat-credit with the FAKE news trying to report that 7.0 Hector Wrecktor Richter Scale shake rock’n roll as the “Big ‘Uns”! What I liked best of H.W. and that 1000 points, the Father the Son and the Holy Grail! The trinity in "I don’t like him. I don’t know much about him, but I know he’s a blowhard”. It is how H.W. the 41st pays respect to the 45th and well justified remarks and gets the point blank across. See, in 2017 Donald Trump replaced Dan Quayle in the category of “America’s Most Admired Moron”! Big shoes to fill but so far, appears the new Moron will have a fantastic reign. Imagine a U.S. President calling another president a “blowhard”? Imagine some more a vice president challenging a 7th grader on the correct spelling of marijuana, I mean tomatoe or was it potato? I stand corrected, the jury is still out if Donald Jong Trump is a bonafide Commander-in-Chief. And Alaskans voted for Trump in a two-to-one margin against that Hillary reincarnation cremation of She McGee Bejesus, as Alaska has always been “red”. Remember, Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from her 2nd story bedroom crapper! And yes, Alaska is well known for its “Red Light” districts, especially down in Juneau. As a tourist tip, Bambi and the well-seasoned hookers hang out at the corner of Bill Allen Drive and Joseph Boehm Alley, front door to the Alaska Capitol. But this “red” alignment is for an entirely different reason then the mainstream republican agenda this party affiliation following the confederacy of Mitch McConnell. Believe it or not, Alaska remains the “biggest” Uncle Sam welfare state and that golden goose bailout is by virtue a “republican” congressional delegation that knows how to bring home the bacon loaded with grease my back I’ll grease your back. Direct dollar funding is appropriate with senile seniority, and Alaska has one of the best in the business. There were times when Alaska was receiving $3-bucks back in Uncle Sam “appropriations” for every dollar swindled away from the oil workers as income tax castration. That ratio was due the fine skills of Jack Marler and even today there is no “state” income tax. Alaska is rich from “oil” revenues and the “red tide” allows for easy living for the oil giants working the Prudhoe Bay Mother lode. So, voting in the republican side of the aisle is but for “greed” seeking. Now I also voted for Mitt Romney’s dog because it was evident that this nation needed a “Lousy Hat” awakening. But back to Alaska…1st and foremost Alaskans are a tough bunch. The reason we cherished the late Senator Theodore Fulton Stevens as the “Hulk”. But rest assured that earthquake was but for a minor inconvenience. Just like with wildfires, what complicates disasters is the population density and in Alaska, it is not very crowded. The reason an Alaskan wildfire is allowed to burn itself out. I remember one summer up Fairbank’s way, an entire summer wherein the midnight sun appeared as a harvest moon - due smoke filtering in from the Big Delta and Farewell Burn fires. The dead spruce from the hungry bark beetles gave way fuel to stoke such fires - allowed to burn out, for an entire 6-months and then it was winter. The “Burn” once consumed 1.5-million acres, like a land mass equal to 2-Rhode Islands or 1-Delaware! And one of the most horrifying events, whenever the Readoubt and Augustine and the Spurr volcanoes decide to blowhard their tops. Hey, there’s another one of thum “oes” words for Mr. Quayle. I forgot, he is not the dunce Moron anymore! Donald, how do you spell…he can’t but that cap fits so well! And one day, Anchorage went dark while black ash littered the entire city and surrounding boroughs. And one historic “thar she blows” caused $160-million in damages, as with this volcano madness comes “earthquakes”. And then there was the “blow” that snagged an Anchorage bound KLM 747 and the ash cloud snuffed out all 4-engines and the plane dropped - I get nauseated just thinking about it. Probably the most dangerous thing that hits Anchorage is when Sarah Palin and her family goes winter time stare crazy and decides to drive in from Wasillabilly to find a Saturday Night booze brawl. So being an x-Alaskan, I know that the city of Anchorage has already picked itself up by the bootstraps this latest shaker, so best send this “quake” to the back-page news and give H.W. the front-page stage of attention and respect. And of course the “Moron” is upset over these events, the earthquake and H.W. passing, as this takes away his fart lighting stage presence coverage at the G20. But through “we all Tweet in a Twitter submarine”, Trump reached out with support to Alaska by voicing that “Your Federal Government will spare no expense. God Bless you ALL!” That presidential sentiment until he was reminded who did not vote for Brett Kavanaugh! Here’s the bottom line. The only Alaskan Congressional delegation member that kept his cool with this earth shattering was crusty old Don Young, that senile seniority guy I mentioned earlier in this broadcast, and he made mention in his comments that no lives were lost. Don is Alaska’s only House of Representatives con-man, as the head count is based on population. As a comparison, California maintains 53 seats in Congress. But the way the other two cowards…this was not the “Big One” folks by any stretch of the imagination. Yet Senator MoanaLisa MurCowpie and Janitor Ted Bundy Sullivan were out and about like “the sky is falling” like it was the “Big One”. If this was indeed the “Big One”, can’t wait to see what the “Big One on Steroids” feels like. And for real - some guy said the waves generated from the earthquake while in his bathtub threw him out of his pool? See, Wasillabilly is “Dueling Banjos Deliverance” with hemorrhoids - that is wherein Sarah Palin hangs up her knickers! Look, there are strict building codes in force in and around Anchorage proper following the 1964 earthquake, that which prevents widespread danger and damage and it seems to have worked quite effectively this goes around comes around earth shaker - if there is damage to a structure, call your lawyer and get a refund from your builder. My home in Anchorage was built on sacred grounds made available after the 64 “Big One” and is super stable, not jello like so I had nothing go wrong with my place. “Keep Calm”, that is what it’s all about and I learned that after surviving a bluff charge from a Brown Bear, right there in Anchorage in the foothills. Amazing how quickly I was stare decisis down a mouth full of teeth, that didn’t need any dental work - yes that close an encounter. What makes matters worse off when people panic, some idiot news-reporter was on-air in a Sarah Palin panty-twist telling people to turn off their gas meters. Which is beyond stupid because once it is turned off you need a special key to turn it on, and that requires a gas technician from Enstar as the company will not introduce gas into someone’s home until a safety check is made - and that takes at minimum an hour. I worked as a gas controller for Enstar, that was beyond stupid advice and in the event you smell gas get out and call the damn fire department! I can hear and see it already in the making, this mediocre incident will be used as an opportunity to rip off Uncle Sam some more. This is that kind of event wherein about the only thing needed from the Fed.’s is paper towels, not even that as toilet paper rolls will suffice! Alaska is a very wealthy state, as it re-invested the money from oil development and legislation was enacted early on in the 70s under Jay Hammond to save the money, through laws that would not allow the legislative branch to spend all the loot on pet peeve projects just so politicians could get reincarnated. Jay was the Bush Rat, and I am sure he is also laughing in his grave the sentiment this was the “Big One”. OK, I wasn’t in Alaska for this “Big One” but I just witnessed the “Paradise Fires” in California and just last year the fires in Coffey Park. There are tragedies and there are skirmish blemishes. You want to see a Real McCoy disaster aftermath, there is no town of Paradise left and still over 126 humans unaccounted for and the remains of 88 now call the state morgue “home” and at last count over 10000 homes destroyed. In comparison, the 64 quake “shake” killed 15! And remember, Trump reached out to California with a rake. Funny, as Paradise is not far from wherein Don Young finds his roots, so you cannot trust Trump with this grand slam proposal “spare no expense”. That said, Alaska should be required to go this one on its own accord - but with powerful members that despise “rabid skunks”, the buck doesn’t stop here and sure enough what should be earmarked to rebuild homes for displaced Californians, it will end up lining the coffers of child perverts that call Alaska home. Even if Uncle Sam spends millions on un-necessary repairs up in Alaska, sure enough every damn Alaskan will be lining up once again for that yearly free bonus check from the governor. Here is the true test for Alaska, now with its hands out to Uncle Sam. Instead of having that giveaway of “free money” as Alaskans have come to enjoy by virtue of living up north, use that money for this state’s disaster relief. Just tell Trump “No Help Needed”! Based on a very good year so far almost towards end, Alaska is reeling in the dough-ream-me with estimates of 100-BILLION! And this year alone because the stock market has been gaining momentum, the “Statutory Net Income” has doubled and today rests at $6.2-Billion, which means a “Big ‘Un” check of close to $2000 will soon be deposited in the bank account of every Alaskan resident. So the state will give out free money that approaches $1-billion. Why not put that money towards rebuilding the broken infrastructure? This would be a “curfew” for a single year the money giveaway - sure Alaskans can handle it! Alaska does not need a helping hand from Uncle Sam, other states do. Alaska already gets its more then fair share. Take the Alaska Railroad as an example. That rail was built in the 50s to help Alaska as a territory become a state. It was run by the Federal government and used to build crucial military bases, as you can indeed see from Russia with Love. Now when the news’ papers “Extra, Extra Read All About It” rang out “We’re In” and Alaska was now a state of the Union as the 49er, well that railroad had to be sold. But nobody wanted it, as it was not an investment opportunity worth any sort of beans - maybe gas from eating too many camp beans is all this rail amounted to. Come to the rescue the state took over the rail, for free from Uncle Sam. Since that day still relying on a bailout from the U.S. Treasury in the tune of $45-million each and every year since statehood - and it is considered “income” to make it look like this venture is buoyant on its own - and cannot survive on its own. There are numerous other examples of highway robbery still in progress that confronts the U.S. Treasury with boatloads of loot destined to Alaska. The fact that Alaska sports a portfolio worth $100-billion and invests in the global markets, this is a time to show a spirit of “Patriotism” for our fellow men, women and children that had to spend Thanksgiving Day camped out in a Wal-Mart parking lot - not true homelessness, but without a home due the California wildfires. And any “I’ll be home for Christmas” is on hold, or will mean the same parking lot experience. Except the Wal-Mart wants the trespassers to move on. So have no sympathy for Alaska as from what I have seen, the rules that were enacted following the 64 earthquake have lessened the blow that such earth shakers can get away with. In the meantime…remember MoanaLisa MurCowpie voted against Brett Kavanaugh. With respect to disaster relief, California got a rake, Puerto Rico paper towels, Alaska is fucked and maybe toilet paper rolls is all that Trump will release when push comes to shove and he was just being nice when he said something that didn’t make sense. One last ending sentiment why we should not show pity to Alaska now that the dust has settled down from this...it is not a disaster. Alaska needed a “Big ‘Uns” helping hand when it first became a state, due lack of infrastructure - so Uncle Sam was there with a much needed helping hand-out. Then oil was found, and back in the early 60’s, maybe it was worth the gamble for about 10-years of oil production predictions. So a pipeline was built and the state by virtue the owner of the resources made a bargain with “Big Oil”, that the state wanted only 12% of that oil as royalty - what a bargain! And the state would take that 10-years of oil development and invest the income so that when the oil ran out in 1984, there would be enough money to run the state for 50-years. But the infrastructure would be built sound during this 10-year dream and the investment income enough to maintain the state of affairs away from 3rd world status like it had realized when still a “Territory”. And that pipeline that was designed to pump oil for 10-years, well it is 2018 and oil is still flowing south. It was a gamble, that has paid off handsomely in the tune of $100-billion and still growing as that 10-year life expectancy oil project is now closer to 45-years in the making. Don’t ask how much “Big Oil” has reaped from this venture, as a spread-sheet doesn’t have enough zeros to cover the profits! By the way, when you hear that flubber about only a small percentage of Americans today invested in the stock market? By virtue a citizen of Alaska and because oil development bucks are part of a global investment strategy, all Alaskans are “shareholders” with an interest in trading and here is what that means: “Viewed as one of the largest, most effective, and globally-positioned institutional investors among U.S. investment plans, the State of Alaska Permanent Fund is well positioned throughout the world economy.”