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Friday, November 9, 2018

Hail Mary Rabid Skunk


So, on January 3rd of next year come soon enough, only 55 “Lonesome Valley” days away the 115th U.S. Congress will reconvene as the 116th after a long “midnight special midterm election” hibernation. Even though the Confederacy controlled GOP Congress tried the “Saturday Night Special” to win more time abusing the American spirit, to scare the daylights out of kids trying to enjoy “trick or treat” at Halloween, the “white hoods” didn’t work! “Only thing we have to fear is fear itself” is what we were told back in 1932, but that did not include the “rabid skunk” pandemic runneth amuck amongst today’s Congress. OK, maybe “reconvene” needs a re-bate as it is an all new membership weighted down with Democracy, as the Democrats are paving the way for Michelle Obama to run against Melania in 2020. Look, that natural born citizenship criteria may have already been “execute ordered” out of the Constitution - Presidential Pardon EO 666. We have no idea what is going on behind the “closed doors” of the Oval Office “latrine” on overflow watch, and Kellyanne Conway must be well versed the use of a plumber’s crack plunger. Now though, with the results of the “battle of the midriff bulge” in and official, for sure it is focusing in on our inalienable rights that a “rabid skunk” will most likely take the position of the “House Speaker” - formally held by pallbearer Eddie Munster. Yes “rabid skunk” don’t ask me quote Mr. Don Young - Alaska’s “At Large” lone star representative still recovering from getting hit over the head with a falling coconut while playing supercalifragilisticexpialidocious hooky back during the 106th Congressional “open season”: “Pelosi, a rabid skunk with gnashing teeth drooling up and down the halls of Congress.” See, Don was trying to re-create to re-invent expectations of gravity with the apple experiment when the sky fell. And don’t mess with Don, as he owns an exclusive “Alaskans Only” carry license for a Weapon of Manic Depression - an “oosik” which is a large “Boehner” from a walrus penis! Yes, named in honor of once-upon-a-time House Speaker John Boehner, until the “Phantom Shitter” went ethically mad at Don for calling servants out over at the Rayburn cafeteria for serving cold tacos, as “wetbacks”. Don’s “Coconut Grove” excuse the fact he was on a first name basis with the staff and learned it all in kindergarten recess. But Don has more than just walrus gumboot penis envy up his sleeve, as the 85-year old congressman with 46-years of plentiful salary courtesy the U.S. Taxpayers, “The Don” is also the “DEAN” of the United States House of Representatives. It’s a position with “but for” a single function without an entitlement, no extra pay included. Dean means head, and this job based on seniority of the senile requires the “DEAN” to administer the “Oath of Office” to the newly crowned “House Speaker”! Which when ordained by the “Dean” the oath: “I, Walrus Gumboot, do solemnly swear that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion.”, then with the “ossik” acting as a magic “Hail the Male” wand, then the “Madame Speaker” can extend that oath to all the new “House Chamber” members in good standing. Then start your engines, the 116th U.S. Congress is in session at the cost of…that is secret and on a “need to never know” basis. Congress is always talking “Transparency”, which seems to bother Webster, to what that word really means in practice. But as we speak, there are “battle lines being drawn” on the other side of the isle, with the poor and sore losers club. There came more than just a “blue wave” November special. It was a Tsunami against the “Crimers, Drive-bys and Bribes”. As the GOP regroups, it now finds an understanding the “agony of defeat” and that Confederate breath of air reminds me of 1865, when Robert E. Lee was arrested to surrender and the Civil War was won by the Colonists and the “Turncoats” were facing the gallows of the “Treason” tree of life. But these “battle lines” of today and only 2-days after the “midterm” election are the “battle plans” of a strategy that will escalate this thing we call a “Constitutional Crisis”. In fact, this may be the climax that “blow hard” of Mobby Dick surfacing. See, power posturing polishing within the GOP is taking place, in the House rank and filthy membership. And even so many seats were abandoned because “We the People” are tired of the “rabid” pandemic, well these elected “brats” don’t go away without a fright-night fight. So, take the GOP Freedom Femdom Caucus Circus that tried in vain to end the Mueller Special Counsel Investigation and at the same time wanted nothing more then get Hillary Clinton locked up for some “nothing-burger”. Look, you want the Clintons to go away for good? Give it up, as that couple are predators to attention getting! Now that “caucus” is made up of a mere 15% of the GOP House membership, and remember it is still the 115th Congress’ ball game, until that “swearing” in ceremony next year. Now even though that percentage is “small peanuts”, it yields 100% of the “ossik” power, as many GOP members refuse to admit association with the psychopaths that are outspoken members, like: Jim Jordan…is not that enough? One more, lunatic Matt Gaetz. OK, in efforts not to name game you to boredom, insiders call this Jim Jordan following the “lemmings with suicide vests”. Which means it will stop at nothing even shutting down government, a coup d’etat, a mutiny! But Jordon is a “rabid skunk” on steroids and wants so bad that “House Minority Leadership” position, as it rules the entire GOP body. That position has the authority to “hang” members that fall out of line any votes crucial to feeding the frenzy for this lemming population of rodents, that which when “rabid” even poses a scare to “skunks”. So here is how that “battle plan” unfolds. Jim Jordon wrestles away that “House Minority Leader” from any other ranking GOP House member that was not booted out of office. He then gets that 200-head count of incumbent “henchmen” in line for the well-being of the GOP, to force the “Dean” to play that supercalifragilisticexpialidocious hooky once again, as Don Young is an expert in this decision making field - he was a teacher once-upon-a-time way back when Alaska was still a territory. So on January 3rd, 2019 at high-noon, as Nancy Pelosi waits to be sworn in as the 116th House Speaker, a job she is well qualified been there done that, well for now the swearing in is at a standstill. Not the same for the Senate, as it is Mike Pence that leads the charge of the “right brigade” and the 116th Senate is in session. But “Gridlock” in the House, as with Don the Queen’s Dean a “No show”, well the Democratic House can not “swear” in the “Speaker” or the new members and remains at only 193 allowed to perform that duty under the 116th badge of courage flag. Remember, nothing is Founding Father sacred under the present U.S. Congress.

So how this could play out and become the precipice for a Constitutional Crisis: As of today, before the January 3rd porta-party “House & Senate” inauguration gathers cesspool steam, the Democratic side of the isle finds 190-seats of the 115th Congress remaining in tack - wherein the “incumbent” have already been “sworn to duty” and that remains in effect. With the GOP, 200-incumbent seat sitting baby sitters holds tight that power grip. And there are 8 Red-October incumbent seats “Too-Close-To-Call”. If those 8-seats remain with the GOP, that adds to the GOP force. If there is a party switch, it doesn’t matter as without a “Sworn to Duty” a win is an obsolete obligation until such time a “Speaker” is called-to-order. So right now, if for some reason “Don the Dean” is AWOL and Nancy Pelosi cannot be “sworn in” on that first Thursday in January, it says “Gridlock”. And we can acknowledge that any fast-track without “The Don” praytell the Femdom will protest for sure. As well as any conceivable judge or Pence or replacement filling in to perform the honors, any solutions by the Democrats will find outcries by the GOP. They will object based on the grounds it is Don Young’s “privilege” and this is just an inconvenience that will be addressed in a day or so, maybe the following Monday when Don feels well. Uproars will fill the House Chambers, soon without resolve everyone will be told to calm down, take the day off with pay. In the meantime, with a single day and a weekend to boot with a GOP controlled Congress still and the 116th Senate officially in session and a Donald Jong Trump White House under escort protection, all hell can break loose and there is nothing to STOP the GOP this kind of gerrymandering Apocalypse Cyclops Now Armageddon. Even with a Democratic won House, in two-days time this kind of attack plan can wreck-havoc on Democracy, exactly what the lemmings are up for. Yes, during this “Don Young” hooky the GOP controlled senate could pass the bills that are forwarded by Jordon and the courier escorted to the Oval Office - done deal! And remember, Don carries an “Oosik” for special attention and if you go looking for him so he can perform his “Queen for the Day” duty, coconuts can hurt! Just because the GOP lost the House fair & square “We the People” have spoken, that don’t mean diddly squat in this day and age of political sabotage bipartisan what…another word Webster finds so confusing!

Will Don Young ever lower himself to such abuse, to cave into the Jordon convention and the Freedom Femdom conviction to destroy “Democracy” while denying Nancy Pelosi that “Dean of the House” reward? It all depends if Don ever got over that Pelosi “with gnashing teeth drooling up and down the halls of Congress”. Maybe that coconut head hit worked!



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