Alaska Chinook: Earth Day Blues

Wow, wow, and wow again! New research is throwing a wrench into the “Greenhouse Gas” theory that was front and center of attention the other day, in celebration of “Earth Day”. Maybe this new research will allow some semblance of acceptance upon something out of the ordinary, a better understanding of what effects mankind's ways & means out of necessity may be having on the environment. The “puking” theory, wherein human pigs gobble up hydrocarbon to fuel that joy riding to satisfy that Big Mac addiction then “waste not want” is regurgitated in the form of out-gassing - the puking - it was complicated because the ends didn't justify the means. If you want John Doe and Jane Zoe to find acceptance, please keep it at Sesame Street level complicated! But the existing “Greenhouse Gas on Steroids” equation found confusion with respect to inputs and outputs, with garbage in garbage out in effect – because we still use the “slug” as our non-metric standard of reasoning which confuses by fostering slow thinking. Look, candidly speaking, the numbers don't work so that made many skeptical about what was really causing the oceans to expand and Congress to...well that massive pool cover, any increase can have devastating effects on “Land Ahoy”. I mean do you really believe that Hawaii will soon be just a private golf course with a single care-taker named Barack? That's what some of the critics are predicting as the ocean swells and land is swallowed up! So we may finally have a new-age theory to contend with, wherein lay persons can finally grasp an understanding of what it all means and for Kermit's sake, find being green going easy. And once we abandon the “Gore is a Bore Hypothesis”, it starts the debate clock all over again! Anyway, this new research was performed on a U.S. Taxpayers' gift, a “XK6m Cray Supercomputer” located way up north in Alaska. This beast of no-burden can manipulate things close to the speed of Congressional fibbing, the reason its main use today is to predict the “Ice-Out” time for the Nenana River - so the university can sell that information to bookies. I guess that was the reason for delays in getting this new theory front and center, as it was “Ice Classic” time in Alaska and that found a priority over Earth Day news! How fast you ask is this XK6m? It means searching for “porn” at 11-Billion times faster then “Home Porning”. Why mention “porn”? Because 57% of Internet traffic is “porn” related! But here is what the new passing gas theory understands and it basically rekindles the time forgotten fact that the GAIA Hypothesis is working – thanks Doctor James Lovelock. Since Neanderthal man started using crude oil - from surface seepages and intrigued by fire ice - through todays Narcissistderthal woman taking over, some 1-TRILLION barrels of oil have been robbed away from the Mother Earth's cradle. In comparison that monstrous thirst, it means 30000000000000-Belichicks – or properly inflated NFL footballs. OK, that would mean the capability of filling every NFL stadium for 112000 irregular seasons! But this new “Greenhorn Gas” theory relies on the fact that when we start stealing stuff without permission, payback can find us in trouble. See, this oil we extract is held in little nook & cranny tights for a reason – as it acts as a “dampener” for stabilzing the erath's trajectory – its orbit. So by extracting so much oil over time, we are causing a tendency for a shift, like a “buoyancy” correction as the universe is like a giant ocean! So in efforts to keep the earth on track, things need to heat up – as without such a correction course the earth would start a descent towards the sun, and basically that means burnout time for earthlings. Thus praytell, the increases in climate temperatures that causes debate today and has divided this nation between the believers and dare not newts, such increases are inherently designed in efforts to increase the sub-surface release of hydrocarbons in efforts to re-steady the earth's trajectory, before any out-of-control over-the-edge effect sends us down that no return dead-end street. The reason so much oil is being discovered these days – not due technological break-throughs by Dick Cheney, Mother Nature is at work! Look, 15-years ago it was doom & gloom, as many experts yelled out that we had plateaued out and oil would be “Gone” by 2025. Today, we are awash in hydrocarbons and finding more and more each day! So the earth is producing oil to re-fill what has been extracted, in efforts to correct away from a crash course, re-supplying the “Buoyancy Pockets”. And that takes “heat”, that which must infiltrate the earth's surface and that can only be accomplished by increases in temperature within the atmosphere and oceans! And the reason that the GAIA Hypothesis is working, as demonstrated by “Daisy” in unison with the atmosphere to regulate the subsurface temperatures, all in efforts to promote organic reactions to produce more hydrocarbons! We use “oil” for char-broiling Big Macs, the earth needs it for “Buoyancy Stabilization” - yes such a simple theory! How long can the earth continue to produce as we continue to extract? That is what needs to be researched, as it could be forever or there could exist limitations. Once that limitation is reached, it could mean devastation in efforts to correct things. So maybe Mother Earth is providing a “WARNING”, that we must work away from a “hydrocarbon” based Big Mac attack society. Anyway, as we “Stand Our Ground” to debate the merits or discredits of a “Gore Global Warming” acceptance, wherein even a compromise is but a far and away suggestion, Mother Earth is defending its “GROUND”!