Alaska, the BIG TOILET

 Alaska's "GIANT CESSPOOL"

Honestly, don't eat that fish! Alaska has tall mountains. Alaska finds miles and miles of breathtaking tundra. Alaska has every kind of forest so far defined by naturalist. Alaska has raging rivers and unique scenic beauty. Alaska has...”fish on” that has become a big freak'n “TOILET” showdown! Yes as “Gotta fill da freeza” madness sends thousands out into the waters of Cook Inlet for the dip-netting fiasco, those waters of elbow-to-elbow fishing fanatics becomes a “GIANT CESSPOOL”. See, once you brave the cold waters of the inlet, brave the mud crawl in efforts to establish “MY SPOT”, well these assholes can't take the time out to retreat for doing the business - you leave a good hole, it ain't yours no more. I've seem more close calls with loaded guns along the fishing grounds - not because of close encounters with bears - but driven close to insanity by river-rage anglers. People in Alaska don't carry guns for protection against bears, as only a marksmen could get a lethal shot off at a charging grizzly - people in Alaska carry loaded guns as a show of force to threaten away other fishing fanatics. “Tha's my spot, I was tha last year”! It is a show of petrified “manhood”, banishing a sidearm when most of the time it is but a worthless weapon better left at home. I saw a lady cut another angler's line when the unknowing “German Tourist” didn't heed the warning of “Fish On”, wherein everybody is supposed to reel in because this is what “Combat” fishing is all about? See, these visitors didn't understand English, and when the gentleman went upset over that wannabe Sarah cutting the line, her sidearm showed up and yes, that scared the Germans away for good. I used to fish the lakes and streams of Alaska, not anymore, as I can buy fresh fish cheaper and my life isn't threatened by Wasillabillies high on crack. And I prefer “Ocean” caught, before it enters the “GIANT CESSPOOL”. What is with all that litter along the beaches, a dirty diaper, a condom, and is that a period or an afterbirth? Anyway, back to the Toilet Time Follies. So guys and gals with huge nets as big as a Dan Sullivan ego, well once established waiting for a chance to snag a big one, they shit and piss right there in the inlet river drainages – what you mean it keeps the waders warm? And in no time flat following the “Opening” wherein it finds a traffic jam from Anchorage to the Cook, the Alaska Department of Environmental Police must issue an advisory for “elevated bacteria and fecal coliform levels” that could “harm” humans – tested at a level double the state standards for recreational water. And this is a GIANT vat of inlet and river water, thousands of gallons of mountain water now polluted! Which means it ain't just a single wayward turd, it means “Latrine Central” is alive and not well! And that is what all those salmon swim in, a “GIANT CESSPOOL”. No wonder the fish returns for Alaska are crashing, the fish are afraid to come back and have to swim in a living hell “GIANT CESSPOOL”. Alaska used to be a great place, not any more. We see far too often today what effect our trespass has done, to the detriment of what was once a “Wilderness”. Like “Red Tide” hitting all the beaches, which is promoted by human activity, along with a bunch of reality TV shows promoted by assholes affected by explosive diarrhea and of course a “Shitters' Paradise” as we learned from the cruise ship business – just shit over thy bow according to MoanaLisa MurCowpie! And it ain't a “Wilderness”, not with a bunch of wackos moving north for their 5-seconds claim to fame as a “Mountain Man”, maybe that “wilderness” has been replaced by “Weirdness”. Indeed, it is sad when we hear of such filth contaminating such a vast resource. So Alaska IS? I would suggest selling it back to Russia. Let's face it, we have already sucked out most of the oil and nobody wants the contaminated natural gas, so what good is this state - except wasting a whole lot of U.S. Taxpayers loot in efforts to try and build roads, that end up where people congregate just to shit and piss. In fact, since Putin has a thing for Sarah, we may be able to get a handsome ransom for a bunch of contaminated land. Let's see. We allowed the pollution of the pristine waters of Prince William's Sound. We polluted the North Pole aquifer so bad that a giant plume of chemical is making its way to the Tanana River and in a few years, the fish in that river will be off limits for human consumption. The Alaska Railroad Right-of-Way is on the Federal gobberments “Super-Fund” list! And now we have the Cook Inlet “Giant Cesspool” becoming a normal summertime state of affairs, and that stinks! And who in hell would want to eat turd infested salmon?