Meals for Freeloaders?

Dear Mr. House Speaker Mouthpiece John “Tan Man” Boehner;

Thanks for cutting short your holiday tanning booth schedule for an early return back to the “Beltway”, in a last ditch effort to avoid the “fiscal cliff”. I am all for your last offer put in front of the Obama team just before Happy Hanukkah. Keep fighting for this plan, don't compromise, fight to the finish! See, the other day being the day before Christmas, I visited my aging parents and came to the conclusion that you are right on, that we must cut that “Meals on Wheels” program afforded our elderly - as it is just too wasteful and goes against the grain of free competition. The aging population that relies on this “Freeloading” food giveaway program, they can eat cold porridge along with cold hamburger helper and take a trip to McDonald's once a week for a night out on the town. Mind you, having such an extravagant program, at the U.S. Taxpayers' expense! And most of the clientèle that take advantage this ridiculous food welfare frenzy, most of the men are war veterans and most of the mom's, well they “manned” the factories during the war time - so they are all used to fending for themselves. The other bad thing about this program, the drivers are volunteers, and this takes away from the spirit of free enterprise – it hurts local business. Now arming them instead of feeding them, that has merit and goes along with your parties fascination with assault weapons from birth. They may need to fend for themselves from rambunctious moms & dads trying to feed their kids, as when you get rid of the other food welfare programs - like that free lunch at our schools - we are then headed down the right track for fiscal responsibility. And maybe that should be the ticket. See, we can grade family men on how they provide food for their families. If they fail, they loose their right to vote. While at it, just take away a “woman's” right to vote, especially if over the Hillary plans on running! Once again, all in line with the GOP plan of attack to keep America decent. So thanks again, for being so considerate and proving to us all that you are America's most despicable representative ever to set foot in the Congress. My dad, a veteran, would like to go one on one with you over your plan to cut the “Meals on Wheels” deal, age is not a barrier, so please take this into consideration - unless you are a true American coward! My dad waits for your acceptance! Your “eight days” only as a NAVY man should be not a disqualification. Imagine, you hold the record for the shortest “military career”, so maybe your attacks against programs of necessity and warranted as a reward upon our parents' time engaged in combat to protect this county's freedoms, maybe your disdain is fostered from your own “failures”. Despicable representation is your “Code of Conduct”. Again, my dad waits your answer for a one on one in the ring with boxing gloves! What you mean you can't hit an old man? Your elimination policies hits them right where it counts! And Mabelle, just up the street and in her late 80s, she wants to “whip” your water-boy, that Eric Cantor “snot” - as she calls him out. In fact, they would entertain a “tag team” match - are you game?