BOEHNER PETS

OK, so Eric Cantor has asked for more detail as to why MY Christmas wish included a request for someone to “crap” on the GOP whipping boy, I mean “Water Boy”! See, Cantor walks around the House of Congress with this “Big Guy” attitude surrounded by a bunch of henchmen, acting out his fantasies as “Teflon Don”. Where's the salami? Now according to accurate and reliable triangulation calculations using House artifacts, and this calculation performed by none other then famed super-scientist Phineas J. Whoopee assisted by his 3DBB magical arithmetic board, well Cantor is in reality about 4-foot 3-inches tall. So maybe a little fertilizer will help him grow up! Now since MY 1^st Christmas wish list went pubic, I have found free time to do more on-line shopping, for ideas, and must amend MY list. You have heard about those Chia Pets - American styled terracotta figurines used to sprout chia, wherein the chia sprouts within a couple of weeks with a little tender loving care and resembles animal fur - well we now find “Boehner Pet Dolls” becoming a favorite. The “Boehner Pet Dolls” come to you as true to life figurines of your favorite Congressional representative, in the nude! Along with the figurine, a spray bottle of Axiron, the testosterone under arm spray. Axiron is that same stuff you see the landscape “seeding” companies spraying on the side of the road following “Bridge to Nowhere” construction, the “green matter custard” like substance which grows grass anywhere - even on a dead dog's eye. So with a little tender loving care, a spray of Axiron here, a spray there on the genital area, look too see which representative grows balls before the upcoming 113^th. So get yours while supplies last! And wait there's more....Now being from the state of Alaska, don't make MY wish come true with a Don Young replica Boehner Pet Doll, as we all know Don will never have any balls. And Mark Begich, he's a confirmed eunuch when it comes too the Tea-Party! So I am left with MoanaLisa MurCowpie to experiment on, with the “ball” growing thing – talk about yuletide yuck! But since I am amending MY wish list, in all honesty, how about 99 Bernie Sanders to replace the hypocrite Senate members NOT in good standing the American citizens along with another 433 Bernie Sanders, to replace the House hypocrites also NOT in good standing popular American opinion. Imagine what this country could get done if we had the likes of Bernie Sanders working with the Obama & Biden team? May MY wishes come true!