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Monday, October 3, 2011

Congressional Challenge


I have a challenge, for Congress. Live off the hog – a.k.a. American Taxpayers' loot – for the remainder of the 2011 year, 112th session. Enjoy your caviar and Don Perignon. Enjoy your vacations abroad, even if disguised as a fact finding mission. What I mean by this is those from the representative body that visit the troops in uniform for a few hours then spend several days recuperating on some exotic beach front drinking gin with the lobbying crowd. Imagine if the troops had the same recuperation? In fact, with this challenge you are afforded taking off the few days left as “workdays” earmarked so on the 2011 Congressional calendar - leave with pay! You are not accomplishing anything worthwhile to begin with on the Hill, so just go home. In fact the taxpayers could save a whole lot on heating bills if the House is vacated now for the Christmas holiday. Any takers yet? Now come the 112th 2nd half swearing in ceremony in January, for this session live by the rules of the road. First on that agenda, work for minimum wage. Considering that Congress works about 1000-hours per year, with way too much time off disguised as “constituent relations”, that would mean your take home pay would decrease from $175K to about $15K, but overtime may be allowed as long as you are careful with the extras! Just think, with that wage you will pay no Federal Income Tax! And secondly, retire your medical & dental plan, and go it on your own. And in that case, with your income based on minimum wage that you set for the rest of us, it means no way in hell you can afford health care. So you may have to tread lightly with respect to coverage and when in need, just go to an Emergency Room for assistance. Don't mind all the blood shed along with such long waits, it is common place when those of us without protection cannot make appointments. And please do not become irate at those that speak not English, they too are Americans! And when your time comes and the bill cannot be paid, just tell them you are a United State's Congressional member, and they may take pity. But you won't get away with non-payment forever. So you may get very familiar with those nuisance phone calls, every day between 6am and 10pm. No not political campaign and polling surveys to see how bad you are doing for America, but irate calls from the bill collector now in charge of your delinquent medical bills. Tooth decay, get used to it. And that taste in your mouth? It may be from lead poisoning due the fact that you had to move away from your upscale mansion and rent a dilapidated pad, but most likely it is from too much Hamburger Helper in your diet! A healthy diet will become but a dream. Leftovers, even when mold attacks, it will suffice. And get used to having Good Samaritans help start your car, as you cannot afford a new battery. If during this trial period, if any of your children come of age for recruiting to college, tell them to sign up at the local enlistment office, as college is not possible unless they can afford it on their own. And when the holidays come around, instead of planning out a family vacation, plan out how much overtime you can handle – sign up early as the competition is strong amongst the worker ranks. Wow, how long can you endure such a calamity of life. But it is not a calamity for a majority of Americans. And for your good behavior, if you make it through a single year as a “minimum wage earner”, you will be awarded with a year's subscription to Mad Magazine, which can be used as welcome relief to ease the pain away from reality. Get the point! American life is not a circus affair. Yet Congress gets buy high on the hog, and somebody down low must pay for that “High”. We are not your servants and in retrospect, I believe it is the other way around. What happened? And minimum wage is one of those thorns still, in America's side, like the practice of Voodoo is what they preach. So there will come no takers this challenge, as the members of Congress get it way over the “Don't Get It” sentiment, and have more deserving things to accomplish, like spending all the time disenfranchising America some more and more then some more again!

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