House Speaker Bonehead

Dear House Speaker Bonehead:

In most states there comes a fine for unlawful use of another's dumpster, to offload crap. “Freeloading” it is sometimes referred too and “Theft of Service” from a legal standpoint. It appears that both, “Freeloading” and “Theft of Service”, are the only things Congress is getting accomplished these days during the gridlock fest. “Freeloading” is defined as taking up space and producing nothing. “Theft of Service” can be defined as an action wherein the Congressional membership receives $174,000 plus salaries with no deliverables and the 112^th is nothing short a “Big Vacation”. Now please be informed that most state “Penal Codes” stipulate fines from $500 to $1000 dollars for this crime and it can be considered a Class B Misdemeanor. So due the fact that Congress has unlawfully used the American citizens' best interest as a dumpster and freeloaded its responsibility on oath, you have been accessed the following fine: For both the House and Senate, the fine amounts to 540 freeloading members x 1000 x 100 freeloading days in session which totals out at $54-Million. This fine covers both the House and Senate, so in your responsibility as the Speaker, you are responsible for this fine. Since this is your 1^st offense, “We the Real People” will forgo the misdemeanor charge with a leniency substitute, and in place it will mean probation. During probation, you'll will be allowed to attend your tanning both. If this dumping continues on your watch, you will be held responsible for probation violation, which could bring criminal charges, like taking away your tanning booth time. This fine shall not be paid for by the Taxpayers, but out of your own pocket along with funds you may collect from your colloquy's pockets, as they are guilty as illiterate accomplices. Please make your check or money order payable to the Real U.S. People and have it deposited into the U.S. Treasury. This will also help erase the deficit you helped create. If you continue the dumpster dumping, fines will double then triple as a deterrent. Sorry, no IOU. In-line with the paper-work reduction act, this fine is delivered to you only and you can e-mail it to your membership for collection attempts.