Wow, Alaska Daily News' contributor Julia O’Malley must be on cloud-9, or at least her status as a journalist is today elevated. What a high. Same as I was experiencing on high at 37,000 feet while entertaining myself with the article O’Malley published in Alaska Airlines' very own “Alaska Airlines”. A noteworthy monthly publication and besides toilet paper, the only thing still free in the friendly skies. That is where the “noteworthy” comes into play. O’Malley’s article was titled “North Stars – The state of Alaska inspires TV shows and films”. The writing piece was on a fashionable subject to write about, which highlighted the Alaska Celluloid race for Sarah Palin style reality. But the article, though worthwhile my precious time, it only covered the “good” side of this new found interest. Half-baked Alaska I guess. In this day and age we need equality all publications, as there is always two sides to all stories and we live in a two-faced society – so what is on the “good” side of things for some is the “bad” side for others, and vice versa. Moving on, let’s face the facts about the “Big Screen” realism here in the “Last frontier”. Alaska has been open for business now at least 52-years, and we are just realizing this potential? Or is it all a smoke screen? The bottom-line, it is the tax credit allowed that is bringing the camera crews North to Alaska. Incentives can work. But it is the behind the scenes dealings and shuffling of these “credits” that is paying off to “Confidential” beneficiaries, which takes the tax credit incentive beyond the film crews' benefit. See, most of the players on the film crew end of things are outsiders, so the tax credits can claim no advantage, as they don’t have to pay corporate income tax to the State of Alaska revenue police. So the tax credits can be sold, for coins on the dollar, to an Alaskan corporation. Now with a very limited corporate base, the list is probably a giveaway guess. With guaranteed income from the tax credits, it allows for up-front investing. It allows for a guaranteed pay-back, even if a show is a flop. And that is why Alaska has become the joke capital of the world with respect to the “Little Screen”. Isn't false advertising against the law? Take for instance “Ice Road Truckers”? It ain’t an ice road, it’s the Dalton Highway that is a better maintained road then the New Seward Highway. The Dalton is the lifeline of the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline. Without a pipeline, oil doesn’t make it to market. Without oil getting to market, the state coffers run dry and Ben Stedman would have to sleep at a Hotel-8 instead of a luxury $900-dollar a night suite. Hey Ben, bed-bugs are everywhere, just look in the mirror! “I almost crapped” he said. When Ben realized after a good night's sleep for a week that he had enjoyed this upgrade at the state of Alaska citizen's resources wasted expense, it was like no big deal. Hey Ben, how many nights at an extended stay could that money buy, for a family in need? Now when this story surfaced and Ben ducked the criticism, I did take a good crap, I mean a good “Stedman”! This jerk's attitude towards responsible behavior buys him the honor of honorary #2, so from now on in my bookepdia it is a “Good Stedman”, and flush twice as it’s a long way to Juneau. Anyway, I have traveled real ice roads, the kind that are man-made and jut out into the Beaufort Sea for miles, the kind of roads that are deceiving and it is indeed a hoot when the ice cracks and an incoming tide sends walls of water every which way but loose, you would think it was a whale blow hole, and talk about slippery? Take ice and throw some cold ocean water on it, wherein all rules of nature and physics cease to exist, just like ethics in government. Talk about no control! And “Alaska State Troopers”? This is a show that pounces down hard on the sad side of the Native Alaskan lifestyle. Look, there are a whole lot of positive things happening in village life, why not focus on that instead of misery? Because it appears that it is trash and “Stedman” crap that is selling these tax credits, nothing else. Sarah Palin’s Alaska was a total flop, and the only thing good about it was the fact that it showed the “True” witch and should have educated her lemming following that she was not fit even to drive the Oscar Myer mobile hot dog truck. “Alaska Gold Rush”, just a bunch of deadbeat looser like freaks wrecking havoc on the pristine lands, it's an invasion missing any sensible behavior. Killing bears, workers fighting, it is definitely an “Alaskan Freak Show”. And the worst of all is this fishing crap. How many times can somebody watch crab pots being hauled up? And this show should be outlawed, as it is inbreeding fighting and is just a decoy advertisement for the tobacco companies trying to get TV viewers to light up, again, like smoking is cool and a tough guy thing! And how much money from lawsuits against the Marlboro Man did this state get in efforts to eradicate the smoking habit? Now there was a reality show that failed miserably about working aboard a drilling rig. Look, a drilling rig is a dangerous place, there is no room or time for misfits. If you can't get a job on a rig, call the Bandits! There would be no such crap allowed on a rig so it is basically a boring subject matter. It is all business, no fluff like is found in these fake shows about crap, I mean “Stedman”. And that is my point. Why isn’t there a show about an Alaskan oil rig? Why isn’t there a show about workers on the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline? Because it is trash that is selling to a couch potato fan-club, fostered by those behind the scenes that are making a killing with the perks. There may be a subliminal message behind these broadcasts. And here is the true litmus test. If the state stopped the tax credits, there would be no crap shows about Alaska. Money sells crap, and money buys crap. In fact, I challenge all film companies on the tax credit list to divulge to whom they are selling the credits too! Oh and what is with this “Mounted in Alaska”? It sounds more in tune to a porno movie. In fact, you would be better off watching an X-rated stage show then this crap about the wealthy Alaskans killing off the endangered, just so they can have a dead animal watching over them. Now a show about Ben Stevens and the rest of the “Corrupt Bastards”, maybe it would be worth some popcorn and my precious time, at least for the opener!
Friday, September 2, 2011
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