Danger Zone

My work requires extensive air travel, which warrants extensive interference by the TSA upon my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. And since my work for the most part requires working “construction zones”, a hardhat is carried along. So I think that maybe it is a good idea to start wearing it when in confrontation with the TSA. Really, the other day I watched as some foreigners tried to bootleg a bottle of water through the checkout counter. Fat TSA lady inspector #1 went berserk. That woke up Fat TSA lady inspector #2, like this was a terrorist security breach and all their government training was being put to the test. Wow, talk about mobilization. When masses like this get rolling, look out! Such commotion in-turn warranted Fat TSA male detail to come out of hiding. It was a show of madness. Hey, now that airlines are starting to serve food again, will the Wolfgang Pucks have to close down? Maybe such establishments found at airports along with the McDonalds’ and all the other crap like fast food outlets will remain open, just to feed the TSA herds. How many does this entity employ? I have observed time and time again that during the early morning hours, most of the food court tables and chairs are occupied by the obese. Do they really get paid when just sitting around doing nothing? How come this security detail hasn’t been outsourced like every other government entity of waste? Probably because health insurance would cost too damn much - as obesity is getting out of whack. Is it a prerequisite to getting a job harassing the flying public? Anyway, once the TSA fat ladies found the bottle and embarrassed the hell out of these travelers, one hand of power commenced to throw the full bottle towards a not too close trash bin, but the momentum behind the throw was off course obese and the bottle hit the wall, exploded and sprayed water over several other travelers. So that is why maybe it is time to wear my hardhat, for protection against insane acts of madness. Where I work, throwing things is grounds for termination. And how come those “TSA” framed complaint signs are always found in the trash receptacles? It is either from disgruntled travelers or care not TSA workers. But I am sure the traveling public is aware that destruction of government property is not tolerated, so it must be the TSA workers that are getting rid of any evidence, when bored at night and the food courts are shut down. Anyway, I finally made it too my departure gate, after this early morning water bombing episode. Now a few minutes before the flight was to board, an intrusion alarm from another empty departure lounge next door started going off intermittently. Then finally it blew, and was louder then any fire alarm I had ever heard out loud. Good thing my hardhat is equipped with earmuffs! It alarmed everybody, as it must have meant a breach in security, but the nearby TSA folks did nothing but act as if nothing was going down. Actually they were still trying to recover from the water bottle incident, so they were resting and didn’t seem to be able to get up. People waiting in line to board were holding their ears covered. Soon, we were aboard the plane. My window seat provided a good vantage point to the next door loading ramp, wherein the intrusion occurred. But there was no plane, no nothing. But then something caught my attention. It was a rat, a big rat that was climbing around the landing ramp and most likely the culprit that was teasing the security system. But people were still a little on the unsettled side. Especially when the flight attendant asked over the loudspeaker for Mohammad Risaz to raise his hand. People started looking around, for a Mohammad. It was unbelievable, as people started saying weird things under their breaths, like maybe there was a real security breach – as I heard one lady sigh with fear to her husband. Of course he wasn’t afraid, as he was wearing his NRA polo shirt. It read something like “We have your Congress and we have your President”. Sounded more like a terrorist threat. I also heard one lady say something about a turban! Then Mohammad appeared, as he was a late boarder. I was willing to bet that it was a TSA delay! He was a gentlemen, well dressed. But people were looking at him in a real strange like way, fear like! It was a rat people, not Mohammad! Now I had to pay an additional $35 dollars for what is considered a “preferred” seat assignment, as my reservations are always made last minute. I couldn’t understand why the extra fee. See, it was an “Exit” seat, with all these other responsibilities, like assisting other passengers in the event the rat showed up! So why the extra payout for extra liability? Doesn’t make sense. And even though there existed a bunch more legroom, there was no close by place to place personal belonging, like my computer bag. And that was stuffed away so tight in an upper bin that it was to be an impossibility to get too once airborne, not unless I was wearing my hardhat to protect against falling objects, like a big oxygen bottle for a patient passenger! And for some reason, the flight attendants had placed a bunch of garbage from the first class passengers in “my” compartment, in efforts not to squish their carryon. Talk about a class ass system of discrimination. First class preferential treatment should be banned. Especially now that we find out that 85% of 1st class travel is by government employees, including TSA agents, riding high on a government “no accountability” credit card - courtesy the U.S. Taxpayers. Of course on this flight to Alaska, most of the 1st class seats are occupied by oil workers that are supposed to live in Alaska but don’t – what a “local hire” joke! And what really irked my confidence in traveling and paying out for extra legroom was the fact that the “extra” room is enjoyed by everybody else, waiting to use the flying “shithouse”. And after a few hours in flight, the extra benefit of having a seat so close to the “crapper” becomes apparent. Each time the door was opened my $35 dollar seat was right in the line of fire of “it smells like an overflowing cesspool”. In fact I noticed that the floor space below me – that extra legroom – was showing signs of moisture. But that was due possibly from the fact that it was acting as a wick from passengers bent on using “MySpace” to stretch and wait for their time in the “crapper”. Lets face the facts, the latrines at the airports are on constant overflow, so we walk through it and our shoes pick it up, only to be carried aboard a plane, wherein it can get absorbed by carpets that are soaked in urine. What made my situation really interesting was the fact that only one of the two bathrooms had been serviced when this plane was landed, so there existed a waiting line. I felt like passing the hat, to recoup my $35-dollars! It was more like a $35 dollar seat of horror, especially when that mom waited patiently with a diaper in her hand, and next to her was a little one that must have had an accident! Double jolly when the little one started laughing and pee was flowing from her leg, onto the carpet of my extended legroom domain! And all the time, as the general public class puts up with everybody else’s crap, the 1st class get wined and dined. The guy sitting next to me made mention that it was the last time he would travel roach coach class. He was a government scientist studying “chaos theory”. Really, but guess where he studies this scientific phenomenon, at airports! He says that the effect of noise upon noise and go-carts for the obese in competition with people trying to find out why an airline likes to change horses in midstream – like a gate change – it is this theory in practice at its best. And he said that he has been performing this research for about 10-years by now. Said he had it almost figured out, until the TSA showed up. Anyway, the trip was finally over with. And upon exiting the plane, the isles were littered with those airline pillows and blankets, soaking up the carpet crap. And guess what, do you really think these things ever get replaced? As I was taking my time trying to get my belongings, the clean-up crew was in full mode chaos mobilization. The pillows and the blankets were folded up and placed in the overhead bins, as if new and sanitized! Even those from the 1st class area! Ha, ha. And what is with all those water bottles littering the isle ways? Maybe contraband that made it through security? I honestly believe the real breach upon us is that from the TSA reach. It may provide some semblance of security, but for real, by this time I am sure if there is a terrorist organization out there, alternate ways and means to crucify this country are already on the drawing boards. Like economic strangulation. And now that the cost of energy and that of food is such that it is promoting a “food” shortage, think of the day when people start going hungry, like happens every damn day in day out to the economically deprived. Maybe the time has come too be, wherein we will all get to suffer what that class has suffered upon for way to long, poverty. It is here, infiltrating the middle class as a new age victim. And for awhile, the 1st class will continue to enjoy their wealth. As it is only a matter of time wherein their status is whittled down to that of peasant, and then they will see what it is like to go begging out loud. What happened to this country? We for too long have enjoyed a “hog” like lifestyle with no limitations whatsoever. Our consumption is by far chaos. Maybe it is our penance that now the world’s food resources are dwindling, as is energy. Maybe in the end, we will learn that the resources belong to all of us, as a global community pantry. And while the rest of the world strives for peace, unwarranted invasions upon another’s country will remain the insane case of that “chaos” theory. We must learn to share. And maybe when we come to our senses and behave like human beings practicing the Creator’s mission statement in earnest - Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven…and lead us not into temptation - then maybe security will no longer be an issue and we can enjoy our true freedoms based upon that life, liberty and pursuit of happiness mandate, wherein the TSA existence is remembered as only a moment in history, a chaotic moment for us all, including Mohammad!

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