Bad Gas Guys

It is sad when one has to depart away from a “real” city for the fakes of Anchorage, a Cosmopolitan “wannabe”. When the Ted Stevens’ Memorial – Museum’s crap like Lego Sculpture – gets built this city will have its very own chapter in Mad Magazine. I am told that sculpture is of British design, is ugly and has nothing to do with the “Last Frontier”. But it does indeed resemble a “Hulk” like figure, so it must be for Ted. Don’t we have any Americans that could produce something worthwhile? Like Malcolm Alexander, who designed the statue dedicated to the pipeline workers over in Valdez? How come George Bush looks more and more like Alfred? Really, is there something going on behind the scenes? I really don’t like to pick on Anchorage, but a city’s well-being is the litmus test of Patriotism. The test has many attributes of involvement to achievement. I was in Boston for “Patriots Day”. Wow, talk about down home pride. Let’s face the facts, “patriotism” is a lost cause here in Anchorage, especially when one observes the British flag flying all around town - bumper stickers included! And aghast I am when Hickel allows that same flag to fly upon his roost on Independence Day! It is an insult to George Washington. Now what can be dangerous is driving through Boston’s Fenway Park with a bunch of Brits, on Paul Revere’s revered day. Anyway it was disturbing to get back to Anchorage, again. And this time around it wasn’t from the record breaking late April snow falling still! No, it was once again disturbing when trying to figure out how the taxpayers got ripped off with the construction of the U.S.S. Ted Stevens – better known as the Ted Stevens’ International Airport. See, normally this time of year with the snow pack dwindling away, it comes time for the “Orange Blossom Special”. That is when all of the Anchorage Daily Stool’s delivery bags reveal true journalism - pure crap. See, many dog walkers use the bags in efforts to do their fair share of recycling. Over the winter, the orange plastic bags are filled with dog crap then abandoned here, there and everywhere. And come the breakup, the bags make like spring blossoms appearing and can’t be missed sprouting up from beneath the rotting snow cover. But there is a new outcropping of another disgusting like “Orange Blossom Anchorage Special”, over at Ted’s pirate ship. See, there are all these orange stickers indicating where the floor tiles are already falling apart. Is it because this state is becoming the kingdom of the obese? And way back when one decent engineer said it was ridiculous to waste so much money on this type a flooring that made a contractor a bunch of money, courtesy the taxpayers - he was right. Honestly, the best thing to do is tear down the entire structure along with the Bill “Nose Bleed” Sheffield Train depot. What a waste. Talk about a turncoat, Bill wouldn’t be appreciated in Boston. But what is more disturbing upon my arrival back in Anchorage is to finally get to read up on this state’s state of affairs. News’ unworthiness it is, time after time after time. That is why the Daily Stool wins the coveted “crap” award for journalism. Really, I have been gone for at least a month and upon return it is the same damn crap. Today, the front page talks about some “Acting” DNR boss guy that is involved in oil and gas oversight. He gets paid to send “Big Oil” a letter asking, “It’s our gas, why can’t we have it?” Now I don’t know if what the Stool had in quotes was true 1st Amendment Right-on stuff, but it was! What a joke, to ask so nicely, so kindly, so politely! And this state has lost the battle after battle with the Big Oil crybabies, and some of that blame game has enough to go around and around. Did Sarah really approve this crap? See for years many state paid “oversight” representatives enjoyed super-salaries and did nothing to warrant getting what we deserved with respect to our fair share of the resources’ “true value”. We were sold out, time after time after time. See, the “Crybabies” had influence, so anybody that tried to rock the boat would most likely find oneself overboard as shark bait. The resource nightmare is still a sinking ship and should tell you something, that over the years the Fox has raped the henhouse – Big Oil I am talking about. And all in view of the state watchdogs. Anyway, this guy writes a letter to Big Oil crybabies that supposedly asks in a kindergarten tone why we can’t have our gas. It was nothing short of a crybaby go nowhere do nothing letter. Bottom line, asking nicely will not get us anywhere with crooks. We need to demand our fair share, that is true patriotism. And if the “Crybabies” don’t give in, then we need to bear arms and fists in protest. And I would like to have had around a Paul Revere when British Petroleum came upon the oil scene here in Alaska. Maybe had we competent leadership or gutsy type individuals that cared about AMERICA and ALASKA, we wouldn’t be bending over to the Brits and EXXON and all the other rape artists. What is more concerning is the Big Oil “Crybabies” response to this childish demand. Basically, “No, you can’t have your gas”! Here is the true scoop about this newest gas fiasco. The oil companies operating on the North Slope have been selling natural gas to themselves for 30-years by now. So their defense that they won’t sell gas until they want too is by far the best damn laughter I have choked over in a long time. But it remains more of the same. This state got screwed over. Patriotism is deadbeat, so we were scandalized. See, for 30-years plus natural gas has been extracted and sent to Pump Station #1 of the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline. At this station which is the beginning of the 800-mile beast, there exists a “change of custody” of the gas, basically it is measured to be purchased - at the going rate of “Hub” based natural gas. After that, it is compressed and sent down a separate pipeline to fuel the pumping stations along the TAPS crude oil pipeline. It is sold, purchased and delivered just like any other pipeline. And it is a whole lot of gas. It takes a whole lot of BTUs to fire up the Avon gas turbines that are used to pump the crude oil over the Brooks’ Range. These are engines like those found on a 747 jet-plane. Mechanical beasts of burden that have run for 30-years around the clock. So when Big Oil tells the state to get lost, it is time for this state to get patriotic. Bostonians know all about being “Patriotic”, we should see it the same way and start getting tough. Eminent domain is a tool that we have at our fingertips and what the Big Brats don’t realize is the fact that we also have the Supreme Court on our side, with respect to issues of eminence! It is time for a revolution against the crooks that continue to strangle hold “our” resources, for way too long. They are getting away with it, sucking dry the oil and will fight tooth and nail to rip this state off in the natural gas arena also. Then they will pack their bags and run elsewhere to perform acts of rape and pilferage. If we let them get away with it, we have let down our patriotic guard. And that is a sad state of affairs. If and when Alaska shows off its true blue patriotism and takes hold of this off course ship of fools, then maybe Anchorage and other cities here in the 49’er will have a history that warrants a place of greatness befit to enjoy the likes of great cities, like Boston. Let’s face the facts, Boston’s greatness is about patriotism. We can do the same, and then maybe the time will come wherein this state will maintain a history to be proud about, and we can show off to others. Not now though, because the corrupt bastard sickness has a debilitating grip on our reality.

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