Thank You First Lady Melania

Dear First Lady of the United States under the 45^th President of the United States, Donald John Trump. My family “stuck home alone” is reaching out with a heart felt hug in appreciation how you have helped us cope with this “pandemic”. All those down-home comfort recipes that you and that White House “canteen” staff have made available on the “social media” platforms, it is so wonderful. To have this “daily bread” is a godsend! And the YouTubes of you working together in harmony grits with the cooks, keeping that “distance” but at the same time some great eats…may God Bless You! So thanks for thinking up a way that you could still stay in touch with America during the “stay-at-home” verdicts, and it is this comfort food you teach us about that does the “trick” and is akin to what Americans learned, loved and cherished with the fire-side chats of the Roosevelt era back in the 30s. In fact, and I’m starting to shed a tear, you remind me so much of Jacqueline Kennedy in how your care about us, in reaching out. And I really liked that home-grown version of the “turducken”, as your “Turdouchesin” is some fine dining, but haven’t got that gig quite right yet. So, the main ingredients are Mitch McConnell stuffed up Mike Pence’s anal hole stuffed up Donald Trump’s raging asshole in that order, is that correct? Once again, thanks and I am glad that your husband made damn sure that “construction” was an “exempt essential service” when all hell broke loose “lock her up” so that your new  “I Don’t Care Do U” tennis courts at the White House could be completed on time. We Love You! Oh, one other thing before signing off, as I cannot wait to get back in the kitchen to see what your recipe of this day is all about. We also love to hear the 45^th at the pandemonium podium, as laughter is still the “best medicine” around and I know it has helped me cope, as I cannot get one of thum Fauci tests. Funny, that it is easier to get a coronavirus test at the Mumbai slums, so laughter is essential as a gap filler and patience rules me. Now when Mr. Trump was thinking about “quitting” that daily horror show, it was shock & awe for us that have come to rely on your daily recipe comforting, so I am glad that you complained that would cut into your tennis time safe zone away from a raging FUCKING MORON, and you won out and I can once again receive my daily dose of hilarious fucking bullshit. I guess you wear the pants…and Donald the “panties”! And we have learned so much about you with this pandemic and your guidance in your daily “cook off” briefings. I do like what your Secret Service “call sign” is, as “Lady is a Tramp” sure swells his head! And you get my vote, that Deborah Scarves”R”us Birx should get that Novel Piece Prize, not only for being a witness and accomplice to helping Donald at his “clown routine” when in company of his “Covfefeavirus Task Farce”, but for blessing your recipes to help Make America Gloopy Again.

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