Alaskan Koch Suckers

Come to pass, King David Hamilton Koch of the “Koch Suckers Dynasty” has passed gas final passage - proven medically that the last thing a human does after “thy last breath” before the death wish comes true is a good-bye “fart”. Now what in hell is Queen Charlie Ganacne Koch going to do without brother David to spit-shine the royal shit from shinola? So what does it matter, as by now the Koch Dynasty trust fund babies can continue to use grand-daddy’s “caddy-shack” $billions$ to wreck-havoc on “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” its DEMOCRACY! Now too bad that Charlie’s brother died a failure - as money isn’t everything and it goes to show that even with a bottomless pit money pit in excess of $50-Billion, well you cannot buy all the political clout needed to circumcise the “Founding Father’s” vision, that all men are created equal so Tea-totaler Party time out for pee-time! Remember, “Half of the people can be part right all of the time, some of the people can be all right part of the time, but all of the people can't be all right all of the time…I think Abraham Lincoln said that I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours, I said that(Bob Dylan).” And while you are at it, this Patriot prefers a Sam Adams “New England IPA” as you can take a kid out of New England but you cannot take the New Englander out of a Patriot - even if transplanted a thousand miles from my home way up “North to Alaska”. Yes the Koch Suckers faced failure, no matter what the history books portray how this Koch conglomerate used the “Buddy can you spare a dime” philanthropist imposter disguise merely as a villainthropist “Trick-or-Treat Halloween special, as in Alaska the Koch Brothers found out what failure was all about. A lesson to be learned extravaganza it was. See “da brudders” decided to take on the Prudhoe Bay oil giants. Yes indeed, opportunities to compete with those corporations that made Alaska a state with a “today” reserve worth $65-Billion, and wait there is more - after spending $35-Billion on…the verdict is still sequestered as even with unprecedented wealth, this state still relies on “Uncle Sam Welfare” to keep the state’s one and only rail service running. Imagine if half of the operating revenues for your bankrupt company - aka Alaska Railroad - came courtesy the U.S. Taxpayers year after year for the last 60-years in total a payoff approaching $2-billion and counting, would you give a rat’s ass about keeping your business afloat? Fuck no, abuse the system is what it is all about! Went side-tracked, but yes the Koch Suckers failed miserably in Alaska - the wealthiest State of the Union. It all started back in the 70’s, when “Big Oil” tapped into the “Black Gold” up north in Prudhoe Bay, built a pipeline to take that valuable commodity to market and made - well if the State of Alaska made $100-Billion, Simple Simon math finds in excess of $2-Trillion after 30-years in the “gusher” business. Following the welding on the last piece of pipe in Thompson Pass, it was that signal the 800-mile pipeline was complete so start the engines. And when oil made its way to Valdez, the sentiment around Alaska was “Happiness is 10000 Okies going south with a Texan under each arm”! But the pipeline could not have been built without the likes of Junior Leslie and his gang of roughneck stick swingers - yes Okies. Now that warning to go home wherein you belong, well it was meant for guys like Queen Charlie and King David, to stay clear of our business. Now at one time during the hey-day of the Alaskan oil wealth, there was a refinery just outside of Fairbanks that tapped into the oil streaming down the Trans-Alaska-Pipeline, as the refinery and the pipeline were next-door neighbors in good standing. That oil was refined into motor gasoline, pumped onto rail tankers and journeyed down to the Port-of-Anchorage on the Alaska Railroad through “Uncle Sam Subsidized Transportation” like in the Amtrak’s “Half Fare” for the poor, wherein this oil wealth was loaded onto barges headed for South Korea - a very lucrative market for the Flint Hills Refinery. It created jobs, jobs and more jobs as it meant refining a whole lot of oil and every night at sundown, 120-rail cars filled with refined gasoline headed south. This was good, as when the construction of the Trans-Alaskan-Pipeline came to a halt, jobs went away and many workers were thrown into a “Now What”? Things went tough soon after construction, so Woody coined a song: “God, please give us another oil pipeline boom, we promise not to piss it all away.” See, most of the pipeline construction wages went spent on hookers and booze, so the start-up of that refinery soon after “Oil In” was a much needed intravenous for the job seekers! It was a “world class” refinery that had easy access to oil, that which could be purchased on the cheap from the state for 10-years at a guaranteed rate, all together now as a ways and means an incentive to refine - as it creates jobs, well-paying jobs. Then in 2004, the Koch Suckers heeded with disregard the warning from Tony the Tiger and infiltrated Alaska, with help from Sarah Palin. Soon, the Richie Rich kids had purchased a piece of the pie, the one and only transportation pipeline that could deliver North Slope oil to a market. The only problem, the Koch Suckers didn’t have any oil rights, so bargained with Sarah Palin to get one hell of a deal on purchasing Alaska’s share of that “Black Gold”. See, “Big Oil” like with Rex Tillerson’s EXXON, well those corporations own the North Slope oil leases, own the Alaskan pipeline dream and thus control the “Transportation Tariff” and also own the ocean going tankers and own refineries down south - so it is “everything” farm to market. Now at the same time these outsiders were trying to rape and pillage tranquility, the Koch Suckers purchased that “Santa’s Village Refinery”, in North Pole just outside of Fairbanks. Another way to mess with Big Alaskan Oil. Soon, the operator of the “Pipeline” - Alyeska - started realigning things along the pipeline to strangle out any unwanted “new-comers”, like the Koch Suckers, like the Kock Suckers - keep repeating myself! And it was at the same damn time when some “Independent Oil” companies from North Dakota, awash with cash & gas from directional drilling using controversial fracking, it meant more idiots deciding to invest in Alaska - I am still laughing and those idiot outfits that tried to sink a well in Alaska’s permafrost, well all have packed up and headed south - remember “Happiness IS…” But when the Koch Suckers were involved in Alaska’s “Big Oil” business, things started cratering real quick for the brother’s dynasty - based not on bad manners, but “Greed” through poor business decisions! See, “da brudders” soon curtailed the refinery’s input and thus output and sold out-right the state’s oil they had purchased on the cheap to “Big Oil” for a profit. Just a paper exchange cost the state money when at the same time some made out like bandits. Now curtailment - due no resources to refine - it caused the refinery to “almost” shut-down. The state made reasonable “non-competitive” contracts, all in efforts to lure in prospective investors in efforts to keep gainful employment jobs for Johnny Paycheck - in realization it may be undermining the true worth of the commodity - so what was the sentiment as job creation was more important especially when Alaska was awash in cash. Now instead of refined North Slope crude oil as gasoline leaving the 49er, well Mr. & Mrs. Koch Sucker had to import refined gasoline, and many jobs were lost due the Koch Suckers thinking their money could disrupt the tranquility of the Tiger. Anyway, in 2012 after 8-years of loses in Alaska, the Koch Suckers sold everything packed up and headed south. Since all this Alaskan Oil business is “Public Information”, they basically gave it all away just to save face - testimony that it was a stupid move. And those lucrative “gasoline exports” that kept that North Pole refinery in the “Green” for so many years before the Koch dysentery invaded Alaska, never to be awarded again as South Korea said the hell with that and found a better friendship with China and Russia and…so NO, all those jobs will never see another “Help Wanted”! People put down the EXXONs, but in Alaska the power of…SOHIO is still making a profit some 70-years after it was broken apart by Uncle Sam for “Anti-Trust”. Why? Because it worked then, it is still working today! Amazing, what wealth can get away with. Rest in peace Mr. Koch Sucker, and I am glad I can still have a laugh on your Koch Suckers Dynasty plan to break the Tiger - and so funny that Donald Trump continues to take a lesson from your playbook! It gives deep doo-doo a new meaning and Bill Maher is on to something!

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