John Dingell & Alaska

Alaska was sentenced to a life sentence back in 1959, when it went from “Territory” status to a bonafide state under Richard Nixon. Even though “I Like Ike” was the president in “good standing” with “My Country ‘Tis of Thee” and decided to accept the orphaned child, the Seward “2-cent an acre” Folly found a “Russian Sputnik” link to Alaska. It was wherein Tricky Dicky Nixon “operatives” planned the future assassination of John F. Kennedy, if and when the Hyannisport “Club” kid decided to take up residency in the “Oval Office” with Marilyn ”It’s All Make Believe” Monroe. OK, had the 49er remained a “Territory” instead of a spoiled brautworst puppy dog, and forever still to this day begging for that helping hand bailout from Uncle Sam, it would be today a “wealthy” country onto its own accord. The “Brent Worth” of Alaska with “oil topside” after 40-years of Captain Joe Hazelwood economics sits in the neighborhood of $100-billion. Yes, the EXXON Valdez economic incentive, pollute and profit. See, EXXON’s profits soared by $2-Billion after that Bligh Reef collusion soured Prince William’s Sound, as that wreck was considered a “sabotage” so insurance paid out and we paid up at the gas pump. And EXXON learned that “make spillage spoiled money” from Alaska, from the governor that was impeached. See, the Alaska Railroad had a similar “wreck” and collected a bunch of money from its own insurance broker called FEMA, aka the U.S. Taxpayers. And that money went into the pocket of the rail boss, who resigned without notice because he had a severance tied to the year-end profits. It was the only year this wannabe railroad showed any profit, because of this FEMA relief. See, the sad thing about how our government works, if a state declares an emergency and receives donations from Uncle Sam and in the end if that $loot$ is a surplus it cannot be returned, as the U.S. Treasury has but for a single input - it is called the “Taxpayers”. Yes indeed, even today this RICO like pampering in Alaska continues, as the state tries to run its own discount “Guggenheim” railroad but half the reported income to make it buoyant comes in the form of a welfare check from the U.S. Treasury, courtesy high roller high-way robbery. Amazing how many ways the U.S. Taxpayers get hoodwinked. I work hard for my money, how can someone else just steal it from me and give it away? What happened to “honesty”? Now if that stolen loot was to help my “Buddy can you spare a dime” homeless kid, I don’t mind paying out for a PBJ sandwich. Did you hear about the Donald Trump PBJ fascination? See, the president gets these “Top Secret” PDBs, for Presidential Debriefing Bulletins on a daily basis, a snap-shot the heartbeat of world affairs. He thought it was “Presidential Harassment” so changed that dedicated time for these “briefings” to PBJ time. And instead invites in the White House kindergartener class - that which roams around the White House without escort with “executive privilege” - for peanut-butter and jelly sandwiches and milk then time for a nap. And Trump has made it a mandatory gathering! So easy to go off the beaten track, especially when on a “Bridge to Nowhere”. Look, there are highway bridges in the lower-48 crumbling apart and we as a nation continue to feed the spoiled brat “pork” addiction. But I reserved my parking space on this blog to pay due respect to John David Dingell, Congressmen from Alaska. See, when Alaska heard the news “We’re In” as a state of the Union, that meant “Representation”. And like every other state, it accounted for 2-members for the U.S. Senate and because of the population density, Alaska still didn’t make the grade for a seat in the House. And those 2-Senate seats and a “make believe” House sitter, that alone caused my income tax to sky-rocket and theft my pocket change, as before “Statehood” Alaskan’s refused to pay out based on “No Taxation without Representation”. For real, Alaska had its very own “Boston Tea Party” back in 1956, and that is why “Statehood” came “fast & furious” as Uncle Sam was afraid this “cash cow” was about to go solo and was well aware the valuable resources still hidden away. So Alaska was provided a fictitious character, maybe suspicious, that was named as the “acting” member of the House of Representatives but not until 1972. So we paid for a “ghost”. See, the state had to identify a “seat warmer” as the verdict of US v. Jack Marler was still sending a message, that “No Taxation without Representation” was a “Right to be free” covered by the 1^st Amendment with the  2^nd Amendment Right behind as a “cover me”! OK, even though Alaska was not a “State of the Union”, or more in tune to our “State of the Eunuch” under Donald Trump, because of the “Railroad”, Alaskan’s without a vote as United States citizens were required to pay for that damn “railroad” so were taxed upfront of “Statehood” - and that pissed the “gold diggers” off! Anyway, there was this guy from Meridian, down California way that was “hitch hiking” his way through Alaska and was known around the Yolo County as the “Best of the Beast” by those that posse up to track down “Rabid Skunks”. And that kind of romance with the “skunk” was the only “qualifier” required by Alaskans for its sole member “in good standing” with the House of Representatives the Congress. And that was none other then Don "Coconut Grove" Young, but he was always too busy sneaking around the Halls of Congress instead of meaningful “policy making”. Yes sneaking through the chamber in pursuit of the “chamber maid”, always wearing a “beany hat” with his “rabid skunk” call in hand, hunting with the intent to eradicate the stench that was causing Congress to act incoherently. Some say that “chamber maid” was Nancy Pelosi, as she was from California where “skunks” outnumber…So Alaska was still “orphaned” with respect to “Representation” so found a friend in John Dingell, as a substitute for Alaska so “We the Alaskan People” could have representation in the House. And it paid off, as without the honorable John Dingell along with George Miller keeping Alaska out of trouble, Seward’s Folly would today be another “Love Canal” and EXXON Valdez wrecks would be routine, as would be “train wrecks” for the Alaska Railroad. History tells us that in Alaska, even though Mr. Dingell stood up for Alaska’s “keep clean” awareness, well when the “solution to pollution” is the 49er motto and “rabid skunks” are “drooling with gnashing teeth up and down the Hall’s of Congress”…Dear John, thanks for trying!