Don't Turd On Me!

Wow, after a long winded study, Russian scientists under the Vladimir Putin-on-a-Sochi-Show have discovered that dogs align themselves like a magnet, N to S, before taking dump. So if you take a dog hiking, you'll never get lost. Now combine this with the factoids that dogs smell their own farts and lick their own ass, it appears as if man's best of friend caters to an anal affair. So, with this study combined with other “dog day” facts tested through time, we now have a gauge to compare our very own Congress – thanks Mr. Putin! Let's see, Congress also aligns its ass before taking a daily dump, to make sure the alignment is such that “We the People” are shat upon. And since they have nothing better to do but collect a very healthy make-me-wealthy salary at “We the People's” expense, I guess smelling a colleague-across-the-isle's ass goes with the territory. Let's face the facts, politics today in these United States is a kiss-ass affair. What you think made “K Street” jelly so popular? And the only difference I can find between a dog and a member of Congress, it is the “magnet” effect mentioned above during the shit aiming replaced by the “maggot” effect. It's only January 22nd, with Congress in session a single day and already I am convinced that God made leaches in the form of a human. Think of it this way Mr. & Mrs. American. In January, you'll work about 176-hours for the “Man whose name is never on the label”. Congress on the other hand, well it will work less then half that amount, and bring home how much – and what's in your wallet? On to more exciting news. So what that a death ray – from way out in outer space – is heading our way and will blow our asses to smithereens – we just don't know when it will hit as we would rather spend science bucks on studying how a dog shits. Too bad, as if man-kind did survive, the future tells us that Jamaica would become the strongest nation on earth. See, since they know how to handle the “Mary Jane”, that nation was in line to become the globe-trotting gate keeper. Wow, can we find a dog to shit away that death ray? Look, imagine if Jamaica was the most powerful nation on earth, not from a strong military, but from a “Peace & Reggae” only mandate - “My belly full, me hungry no longer”! Look, all the so-called great nations have failed, because of “Greed”. We must begin to realize this nation called America, it will be no different in the “failure” category and since it is inevitable because we have become greed like son's a bitches by letting Congress get away with ass sniffing rape, we are on the decent to gloomy afternoons. And here is one for ObamaCare. If I stay healthy by staying away from McDonald's and not having anything to do with my representation, can the money saved by my healthy attitude be transferred to a person in need, say from a country that has very little to no health care? Think of what this would be as an incentive to stay healthy – so what that the Big Mac would go out of business. So I am waiting for the scientific community to tell us that death ray is heading this way because of a “Big Mac” attack, so what, as we have all suffered from sub-standard living conditions ever since Congress went destitute and started acting like a dog's turd! Score-Card: Congress vs. the American Workers. So, by the end of January, you will have worked some 176-hours, no over-time included. And for this same time-frame, Congress will have worked a whopping 76-hours, for $15,000-dollars - compare that with your pay-check. If we continue to vote for members of Congress that keep voting away our existence, then maybe the “Death Ray” will be our only hope for resurrection – to free us from under the curse of the Dog Turd, an Act of Congress. Don't Tread On Me? How about “Don't Turd On Me”!