Son a-Bitch!

He got me again, bastard! But being a bonafide member of the Alaskan chapter of the “Corrupt Bastards Club”, what can one expect! See, I decided to venture where no sane man should venture, or should know better then to gamble - to my “quarantined” e-mail depository I am talking about. I have not learned my lesson, from previous detours that direction. Look, I get all kinds of questionable stuff in my “sanitized” mail box, even stuff from Russian ladies wanting to come to Emerilerica! Yet that stuff never shows any signs of misfitting viruses, just pisses my wife off! I don't know Bimbo Bambie Dominatricks! And what is with all those “Viagra” offers? If I responded to the “pill” offers that allows for an erection of 4-hours or longer, I would have a stash that could fulfill the needs of Congress for the next – month only? What else causes Congress to be so slow with things? It must be those erections, keeping the congregation behind their desks. “Sorry, can't stand up to shake your hand”! In fact, in a recent report by the “House” M.D., 98% of the visits his clinic gets are for, yes “erections” lasting longer then 4-hours. Weiner-Madness I guess! But for some reason, Don Young's newsletter always gets placed in “quarantine”, something to do with how GCI monitors “UNSAFE” stuff. But I wanted to see if Don had pictures of his hyena hunt! Bet you didn't know Don was off on a safari, where the black hunting slave guides can't eat with the white guys. See, I saw him leave Fairbanks, in a luxury jet registered in the Cayman Islands. Imagine, hunting for hyenas! At least hunting with a rifle is better off then other cruel and unusual treatment means and ways of getting a trophy, like we see happening today here in Don's home state – Alaska “the “Lost Frontier”. Look, when the “Fish & Feather” freaks feels it is safer to kill bears with poison, then we have missed the boat. OK, so I opened Don's newsletter, it was like getting hit with a powder puff or like stepping on a puff ball mushroom– hope it wasn't that ricine stuff. But it was Don's bullshit as usual, nothing new and Don still holds the combination to the U.S. Treasury. Look, sequestration is secastration to Alaska. This state is so hooked on “Uncle Sam Welfare”, we seem to think taking it away is “Big Government” interference. So Don maintains his stand, that the “loot” in the Treasury is his to spend! Don is starting to look more and more like Bill Sheffield! Funny Don didn't say anything about “them thar” highway bridges falling apart. Imagine, major highway bridges “fall'n out of the sky”. And that was never supposed to happen, not on Don's watch, as his Te-Lu Highway “Pork-chop” was supposed to fix things - not become a highway robbery insider blow job. In fact, some on the “Beltway” say it was the biggest “blow job” ever and didn't contribute to anything worthwhile. OK, so we have to pay for MissHell Bachman's retirement – forever? And soon we will have to pay Don's retirement, for years of abuse getting in the way of self-sufficiency. Had this state been strong enough to elect “real” politicians that could have and should have said NO to welfare and made damn sure that this state rich with oil could go it alone, we would not be in dire straits like we see today. Look, “Big Oil” is moving out. And those “Independents”, they are a bunch of perverts and sex offenders that came to Alaska to hide. They have nothing to give and continue to take more, and it appears Parnell likes getting rear-ended. But Don, do you eat that hyena meat? Is it better tasting then a Rabid Skunk – a.k.a Nancy Pelosi? But I will miss Don when he is gone away, so will the Alaska Railroad, so will the thousands of $millionaires$ he created with his “pork-chop” habit. Has Alaska's congressional delegation done anything right? I am still searching for something that sheds a light upon success, as they blew it and recovery, well that is something that is as far removed in the success category as a Congress that gives a hoot.

Oh give me a House,
Where bipartisan rules

Where the mule and the elephant care
Where seldom is heard
A disparaging word
And the lies are forbidden all day.

Chorus:
House, house on the hill
Where the mule and the elephant care
Where seldom is heard a disparaging word
And the lies are forbidden all day.