“Good morning America,
how are ya”? It was time once again to play out my Woody fantasies.
So with a full tank of gas, it meant cruising time. Map? “Go West,
old man”! GPS? Too complicated and too incarcerating. Wow, the
great American outdoors! Some dandy mountain road this blacktop which
has confiscated my undivided attention behind the wheel, talk about
switchbacks. And what's with the grade change, looks more like a 3rd
world “backwards-backwoods-road”! Sounds like “Dueling Banjos”
over yonder? Oorah Oprah, a slip off the road onto the berm means a
cliff hanger, no such thing as a rail guard system around here. Talk
about making the grade, it appears that no matter how much cash one
has stashed away in an “illegal” offshore account, it doesn't
help in the “No Candidate Left Behind” category. I am talking the
mathematical IQ of Mitt Romney. One day its only 53% of the
population he defends, today it is peaking at 100%. Man, with such a
daily increase tomorrow it will climb towards 212% and by the
November 6th erection, it means 2483745-Trillion! Is Mitt
trying to take over the world? Imagine, outsourcing to the “aliens”.
Honestly, when asked about extraterrestrials, Mitt joked that maybe
it should be researched as a viable consideration, as there was no
better place then “Space, the Last Frontier” for future
outsourcing to take advantage of slave like labor camps. And with
“offshore” under the microscope of the IRS agents, I am sure Mitt
is looking for a safer haven for his loot. I would guess the numbers'
game played out by politicians, with respect to how he would govern
should this nation decide to wander down a dead-end street and elect
a misfit, what one tells the crowd all depends on the audience. I am
sure Mitt knows how to “shamu” the audience. See, “Shamu” was
a killer whale. When one observes how the “orca” works to
survive, it reminds me of how Mitt worked his wonders as a “vulture
capital” munger, to make “outsourcing” the death blow to
American manufacturing and turn our nation into a moochers paradise.
“I'm a victim, feed me, feed me!” He could have authored a book
on the subject; “Outsourcing: The UN-American Way but the
Capitalists' Way”. Look, today “Capitalism” is supporting
“Communism”, it is that simple. See, even though I am driving
around lost in some mountainous terrain, I still have access to the
presidential mess news, courtesy Howard Stern invading outer
“space”. I am sirius! And I am sure in Mitt's playboy play-book,
Howard is of the “alien” race. Wow, what a concept, “space”,
as it is wide open “space” out here. Alien outsourcing, what a
concept. Maybe I can cash in on supporting...wow, what the hell was
that? Looked like a giant cowpie that almost swallowed the entire
front-end of my eco-wheels. Dinosaurs? Flying elephants? Good thing
for a seatbelt! Actually the showing of the “crap” was a good
sign, that I wasn't lost and the fact that Congress is still
producing something. And I know it is still the “Homeland”, as
there are signs posted everywhere that this unused terrain stretching
for miles in every which way but loose, it is sacred ground -
belonging to the Bureau of Land Management. No not Native American
lands with a sacred past, sacred because it is leased to corporations
for pennies on the dollar - for grazing rights allowing for 100-year
contracts. Yes, corporations that pay no corporate income taxes
through Romney like spoofenomics – killer whales on the attack.
Look, in a nutshell, I am all for dismantling the tax code that taxes
the “Corporation”. See, since a “Corporation” is a person
according to the Supremes, then a person is a corporation, so can't I
enjoy a tax burden like Mitt enjoys – a big fat “Zero”. OK,
it's closer to 10%. If I could enjoy that same amount, it would mean
an additional $6k of play money. And as a middle-classer, that money
would be directed right back into the “supply & demand”
formula, to bail out the economy instead of stuck-up hoarding away of
the wealth. And if corporations get back big fat refund checks, isn't
it time “We the Corporation” get in on the grand theft larceny
upon the U.S. Treasury? What the hell is this up ahead, sheep in the
middle of the road. Maybe that's how they repair the roads up here,
herd the sheep and let them crap all over the road, let the high noon
heat melt the crap and as we drive along our road worrier tires stuff
the crap in the cracks. What a concept, road repairs “outsourced”
to migrating sheep shitting along the way home! For now though, it's
out of the mountains and driving on with what appears to be “No
Tread On Me” tires, it's the “crap”. Congress is everywhere!
Wow, what the hell is that complex out here in the middle of nowhere?
It's not military, as the sign says something about “Applied
Harmonyology”, and it looks like a bunch of modern day houses
grouped together, a gated community - like a latter day neighborhood.
It's not an industrial complex, no signs of pollution? And I don't
know where the hell I'm at, just driving the back-roads of America.
It ain't Route 66 - maybe 666. I “hatched” this story for a
reason! Wow, for real a polygamist training school. A neighborhood
designed to practice and encourage polygamy, here in the middle of
nowheres-ville! Floor board time, out of Dodge no regrets. Too bad
the roads out here couldn't be designed as straightaways, especially
with so much elbow room and nothing in the way except maybe a
stubborn skunk. Reminds me, does U.S. Representative Don Young still
think Pelosi is a “rabid skunk”? What's that Howard, the roads
out here are purposely designed with curves to increase costs, just
to create jobs? Sounds like a typical Congressional “mission
accomplished” plot. Whatever, I was on my way somewhere else,
across America! Soon enough, the pavement came to an entirely
different kind of surface, which meant something, I don't know what –
a change though. At least safe again to regain my composure over the
fact that I was for a while in a place that was like the stage scene
of “Planet Nurtz”! Then my cell phone started doing weird Al
things, the time change went confused, as if the hi-tech gizmo's
brain was in competition. For most of the time in the mountains it
was “Can you hear me now” coverage, which is pretty standard with
my service agreement. See, I have an account with GCI and when in
civilization, it doesn't work all too well. ”Civilization”
defined with respect to how Alaska today verses the rest of America.
Regardless, it is probably safer out here in “Nurtz” then
venturing east of Fairbanks, as “Palin” fans carry around hunting
laws instead of the coveted “Constitutional” bylaws. That's a
scary proposition, as it takes only a kindergarten education to
understand what one can kill, for food or in defense of property. The
latter means humans are fair game! I was glad to see that the space
shuttle Endeavor was allowed to deviate its flight plan to fly over
the home of Gabrielle Giffords. I still blame Palin for the shots
heard across this land that left Gabby ruined for life, a potential
upcoming political might that might have had a chance to become the
1st female Commander-in-Chief. Palin put an end to
Gifford's political aspirations – jealousy I guess. Sarah Palin,
what a waste of human flesh. Sexy? If you think Hugo Hefner's “Sexy
Granny” fits that image! Talk about a cause of ED, just listen to
Sarah run off at the mouth. I am glad that Dick Cheney has made Palin
the mockery of the “Citizens Without a Brain” poster child.
There's my damn phone again. Wow, mission control we have a contact!
Hello, is this Spam MaGee? Damn, I was being followed! There was a
UFO that looked like a drone in disguise following the highway south,
like to venture this direction makes one a person of interest, under
suspicion. A place wherein stereotyping is akin to “twitter”
addiction. Now it all started to make sense again, as I was in Dick
Cheney's neck of the woods, and he was on the phone in person “live”
asking me to be on the lookout for a strange looking capsule. Not
something from outer-space, but a radioactive source reported lost by
Haliburton. This seems to be a common occurrence for Haliburton, but
in this case it wasn't something used in the oil patch, the missing
source was a backup power supply for “Bionic Dick's” new heart!
One thing I have learned, if in Tea-Bagger country or “shoot'm in
the face” territory, hide the “Obama ROCKs” bumper sticker, or
else be ready for a Clark Griswold family vacation confrontation. So
anyway, we should abolish all corporate taxes. Then the
“corporations” would have no worry and the profits through unfair
taxation could be to used create jobs. Imagine, a climate wherein a
corporation could actually create jobs here in the “Homeland”.
Look, abolish corporate taxes then there would be no longer any
excuses for outsourcing! And with that, it would be time to tax the
CEO and upper corporate adhesions, to make up for the deficit.
Bottom-line, Congress dictates the realistic tax burden that defines
“fair taxation”, as their salary should be the bellwether in that
battle and struggle for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Anything over that amount, it goes directly “PASS GO” into the
U.S. Treasury. Anybody who makes less then the recommended U.S.
Congressional wage - $175000 - then you can enjoy being Romney for a
spell, with “ZERO” taxes on income. It is a simple tax revival.
Enough of my opinion on what would and could account for a decent
society wherein taxation is as fundamentally fair as is the fear of
freedom. Wow, a chain gang out and about, looks like roadside duty.
Why in hell are the guards wearing those zoot suits and
self-contained breathing apparatuses, with “Radioactive” stickers
front and center? Even the guard dog is dressed for the occasion?
Damn, they got the prisoners out looking for Dick's power supply,
with “zero” protection. From polygamy to prisons, what the
back-roads of America are all about. Then civilization started to
show its face of irregularity, constipation that is. A shooting range
that serves “alcohol”, followed by road-side billboards that
signaled the fact that an America city was not far away, just up
ahead. With these signs' bothersome content, mostly advertising
political crap, I knew I was getting closer to a “civilization” -
maybe, the verdict was still out for deliberations! Wow, is this what
“Corporations' United” has created? Yes, an unadulterated waste
of money and roadside annoyances, to pollute the background. I mean,
lets face the facts, why allow a billboard amongst a bunch of Romney
presidential campaign signs that advertises this patheticness: “WHITE
is Your Toilet Paper – So Should Our President”? And in small
print but still readable at 120mph as I got to get the hell out of
here - towards somewhere civil if that's still possible this 2012 -
“This add empowered by the White Supremacy”. Only in America! Now
say it ain't so Joe. Is it true that if Romney becomes this country's
nightmare, is it true that the role of “Ann of Green Gables” will
be taken over by Mitt's wife, as “Ann of Gold Stables”, that
“Debtors' Prison” will be no longer be a thing of the past and
that champagne and caviar will be reserved for those that voted for
the GOP, along with a DNC tax upon those that didn't vote his way?
That's what those signs indicated, and all seemed to say something to
the effect, “I approve this message”. So in a nutshell, from
mountains crapped upon through the planet Nurtz through Haliburton's
radioactive Kingdom and through dead-end “Back of the Bus”
drive-by communities wherein a gun rack is more important then a
health-care plan, that's what the back-roads of America have in store
for noteworthy travelers. Don't come back now, ya hear!
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