Law Degree

I thought about getting a law degree, once. See, early on in life I was warned that John McCain could one day become president of this United States. And John doesn’t like lawyers. Just the other day while out campaigning he made the following comment. “What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? One is a scum sucking bottom dweller. The other is a fish.” Oh, I’m sorry, as it was supposed to be a joke. I honestly thought it was part of his campaign message of “Change”. Anyway, the Indian police have successfully shutdown a shady organ transplant operation and captured the kingpin, fugitive doctor Amit Kumar. Victims were usually abducted at gunpoint then drugged. Soon afterwards at an undisclosed location the scalpel and pilferage commenced, mostly for liver removals as the supply and demand thing was bringing in a handsome fee for that much needed organ. Many of those stolen kidneys were sent over to America. Estimates range into the thousands over the time span that this operation was allowed to thrive. And it is only one of many illegal operations in existence according to authorities. So this would be a good test for first year law students, a.k.a. scum sucking bottom dwellers in training. What if I had been abducted while on business over in India and woke up missing a kidney and through thorough espionage found out that a sitting U.S. senator had received “my” kidney? He was a republican and I was a democrat. And I was adamant that I never gave permission for the removal and donation and wanted “my” kidney back? Now to make matters a little more complex, this senator knew that his transplant kidney came from India but had no idea who his donor was. Like it was not a totally up and up operation to begin with! But the senator needed a new kidney as he was up for re-election and adverse health issues could have swayed the vote away form his incumbency advantage of once a crook always a crook. Matter of fact, his campaign funds paid for the liver to be delivered by a private jet. And to boot, he was a senior senator. To make matters even more difficult, this senator is Pro Tempore, the person who could one day have to fill in for the sitting president should something happen to the vice and speaker. It means this dude is the highest-ranking senator in Congress. Regardless of everything else, I want “my” liver back. And I can prove it is “my” liver through DNA testing. In fact, that information is readily available because the tissue was tested before the organ was installed in the senator’s cavity. And through espionage, I know it is “my” liver. Could I get my liver back post haste or would I have to wait until after the re-election? Would politics muddy the waters with this case? Actually, here is another good one for the legalists. I was at the theater the other day and observed that the “Handicap” parking places up front were taken! About a dozen total across the theater’s entrance. And I noticed the same thing over at one of Anchorage’s favorite eateries. Now Anchorage had been struggling with extreme cold temperatures out of the norm, so such parking places are at a premium. But when I was in the theater, I didn’t see any clientele sitting in the “Handicap” seats? And it was a movie about two old fogies, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman starring in “The Bucket List”, so I would at least expect to see somebody with an ageing handicap. Somebody used those parking places out front! Now my son pointed something out. Most of the vehicles advertised “Temporary” handicap permits, the kind that are kept conveniently hidden away under the seat and used when people get the urge to cheat. You see it all the time at the post offices. Some guy pulls up to that parking place right by the front door, slaps that blue sticker on the rear view mirror then carries in 300-lbs of crap to the mailman. No limps, no nothing! I guess anybody can get one of these permits and even though many may be expired, nobody is checking it out. So it gets abused. In fact, right now as we speak the Anchorage Department of Records indicates that there exist well over a million “temps” still out and about, most likely being abused. Hey assholes, there are real live handicapped out there! With that in mind, I have come up with a solution. The city should charge for the parking places! For the permits. These parking places are no different then any other kind of parking place except it does require extra resources – money – to police this program, supposedly for the disadvantaged but thumped upon by the abusers. So if the city charged a user’s fee, the user could charge that cost to his or her health care provider, a.k.a. HCP owned by ex-senators. Then the true worth of this “handicap” could be assessed by the cast of new age scum sucking bottom feeders that have nothing better to do then deny everything supposedly covered by your health plan, including band-aids! Really, I had a HCP auditor tell me to use “duct” tape to cover an eye wound, as that is what the “Iron Dog” guys’ use. Anyway, charging for “Handicap” parking places has to be legal, as it doesn’t really discriminate and it pays its own way. It is actually a way to police the program designed to be used but not abused. I have a bad knee, so I could easily qualify for this freebie. But what if my HCP said get lost, the usual response for healthy people and sometimes half-dead people? So, maybe it is time for this revenue incentive and maybe the fake users will stop short of being the abusers, especially when the HCP says take a walk, to your health!

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