The Air We Breathe!

It must be something in the air we breathe that causes a complete disconnect with reality. And it is well known that dried dog feces makes up a generous proportion of that air quality here in Anchorage, so clear thinking seems to be problematic. And clear thinking is a necessity ever so dear, especially now that this state enters Phase II of “Big Oil Crybabies In Limbo”. Really, for 30-years now “Big Oil” has pounced upon our resource wealth and now that natural gas is looking good, the Daily Stool gets bombarded with ads costing “Big Oil” into the millions, just to promote their “No Truth in Advertising” crap placated by the doomsday scenario if they don’t get it their way! Where the hell is the news? It is just page after page of boring lies. And it is designed to sway the unknowing, we the citizens, as most of us have very little knowledge of the past manipulation period wherein the henhouse security was awarded to the Fox, a.k.a. Ben and Company. So pray tell, some down south professor thinks he has a solution to the gas pipeline follies! We can opinionate, that is our right under the 1st Amendment. It still exists doesn’t it? According to this sheep skinner from Kenai, “Today, the Arctic Ocean ice is melting,,, There will be harmful effects on polar bears…but an ice-free Arctic Ocean affords the possibility that the most cost effective and environmentally sound way to market North Slope natural gas will be by liquefied natural gas(LNG) tankers sailing directly from the North Slope, eliminating the need for a gas pipeline altogether.” Somebody needs some oxygen! First and foremost, a pipeline is the least expensive mode of transportation for energy, like crude oil and natural gas. No other means of transportation comes close, unless it is subsidized. An “Alaskan” style history lesson proves well worth the effort to elaborate. Back in the early 70’s, before the 800-mile Trans-Alaskan oil pipeline won the contest on how best to make “Big Oil” rich and this state the biggest welfare state - even though we had oil - there came several drawing board ideas on how to get that much needed commodity to market. All in efforts to quell the Arab embargo disaster. There came the idea from Boeing to modify 747 aircraft with super-structure wingspans, pods to carry crude oil from Deadhorse to the lower 48. General Dynamics played with the idea of barge like submarines that could safely navigate the ice-prone waters of the many named seas from Prudhoe Bay south. There came excitement over ice-breaking tankers. In fact, the ice breaking tanker idea was slated as a back-up, should something happen to disrupt pipeline oil deliveries. And that was the only other idea that ran the test gambit circuit, so the critics could go into hiding. The Manhattan - an old rust bucket tanker that was mothballed to the steel recycle dump - was placed back in service. The bow was modified with what looked like a beak, a super-structure of steel that could cut any ice cube that got in its way. This tanker was escort sailed to Prudhoe Bay to simulate taking on a load of oil, all during the winter when the ice pack had packed the shoreline tight. The Manhattan had no problem pulling out the stuck Navy icebreakers! But in the end, this state ended up with a controversial pipeline that remains a controversy today. Just the other day the Superior Courts said that the oil companies overcharged shippers for use of the pipeline. Now the “other commodes of transportation” envisioned that could have been readily accepted back 30-years ago, this was all before Global Goring and it was safe to say that the marine life was at ease and could put up with the shipping traffic. It would be more in tune to a convoy headed back and forth, just like one sees in Prince William’s Sound. But the Arctic Ocean marine life is not at ease today, as the polar bears are under stress. What they don’t need is a bunch of propellers buzzing around and causing yet another event to contend with. No way in hell does there exist nowadays a “climate” that would allow this mode of transportation. And do you realize that all new tankers would have to be double-hulled? Do you know how many miles of pipe can be rolled out a tanker? I asked Mr. Phineas J. Whoopee about this. Here is what I learned. Take out that Play-Doh Fun Factory. There is probably one stashed away in the garage, with the rest of the kids’ toy junk. Take a can of the clay and form it into a ship. Now take the ship and put it in the hopper and press-on with the pipe pattern tool attached! See how much pipe can be extruded from the factory? Thanks Phineas! Don’t you just love that dude. So, a pipeline is by far the cheapest way to get something from Point A to Point B. Pipelines take the minimum number of personnel to operate and maintain. Especially here in Alaska, as the TAPS is the one and only pipeline ever that worked under a decreasing tariff structure. Don’t need to go into that! And on a comparison, a crude oil pumping station employs about the same body count as a tanker crew. With natural gas, because leaks behave differently, most compression stations remain un-manned, so it realizes even less manpower constraints. Bottom-line, natural gas transportation by pipe in the ditch remains a very low-cost operation and alternatives are but a wet-dream-on. And sending the gas by pipeline towards the “Hub” in British Columbia has added advantages. The “Hub” is where several pipelines unite and head south to feed hungry America. Another gas line can only increase competition, thus allowing the supply and demand theory to benefit the consumers buying “our” gas. Case in point. Right at the “Hub” there is an abandoned crude oil reservoir that is used as a storage facility for natural gas. During the slow months, gas is subject to compression and injection in efforts to fill the reservoir. It holds a lot of gas! When winter hits and natural gas is at a premium because of the demand thing, the owners sell the gas. It makes billions from gas that was purchased at a discount. So if there comes another gas line with Alaskan gas, then there is another inning left in the game. Competition will drive the costs down, aiding the consumers. Sure the state and the “Big Crybabies” will loose out, but this state will get screwed over with no matter what transpires. Then professor of anthropology Alan Boraas quotes on, “Recently Exxon announced it will build a small LNG plant and truck the gas to Fairbanks.” It must be something nauseating in the air he breathes! Exxon isn’t building crap! In fact there exists a very complicated scenario unveiling with any natural gas pipeline project that is allowed a permit to construct and approved from out of the office of Mrs. Vogue Mature, a.k.a. the governess! In Trans-Canada’s proposal, that outfit is adamant that the “Big Crybabies” must build a gas conditioning plant on the North Slope to re-condition the gas they used for 30-years as part of their tertiary oil recovery program. Bottom-line, nobody is going to buy contaminated gas when higher BTU gas is available from the Canadians for the same price! Trans-Canada estimates that the facility will cost 8-billion dollars. So in the end, what will work is that the “Big Crybabies” admit that they contaminated the gas, get a tax break from the state to build a conditioning plant that costs 16-billion - a crybabies demand - and offer the gas at market rates with no strings attached except more state tax breaks. In the end, “Big Crybaby Oil” will get their way. They always have an always will because there is something in the air that challenges reasonable reasoning. Blame it on the dogs!

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