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Monday, December 24, 2012

Cheap “Chenault” Thrills


Wow, today marks a milestone for Alaska. NOT a Merry Christmas in my vote, this sad dark news day that comes along in harmony with the diminished daytime light now that winter is upon us – and it's only December! Some state official in the know out there in voodoo child land, please answer me this without a smirk. Was the Mayan calendar talking about the “End of Alaska”? OK, on a more important subject of concern, are we already digging into that energy reserve, that underground storage of natural gas that wasn't supposed to be used until at least late into January, as a last ditch effort to keep us warm? Who in hell is this Helicorp outfit anyway? And why do the CEA rate-payers have to pay for subsidized electricity for Fairbanks? When is enough truly enough? I don't mind helping out, but when a coop CEO thinks he's worth $400K a year, on our dime, something is wrong – maybe the permafrost goes deeper then we think - wherein brain-dead finds true respect and meaning! And wait, there's more as ever since Enstar was stolen away from Seagull Energy by a Michigan based outfit that had to hire Ben Stevens as a consultant when he was still sworn in as an Alaskan senator, well you get the point. Trust is gone. Can't we get anything right? Have we failed the “Statehood” test? See, there was a gas shortage possibility a few years ago for southcentral. Then when talk of a gas line south from Prudhoe Bay started to scare the gas producers in Cook Inlet, as that meant an end coming to their lucrative gas for sale profits due the premeditated gas shortage threats, all was soon fine. Someone said, why not do what normal states do and put to use an old abandoned oil cavern to store “excess” natural gas, that which can be purchased on the cheap in the summertime. So buy it cheaper when there exists an excess, compress it, store it, then when it is needed - whala a reserve of low cost natural gas. So the Arctic Fox natural gas pipeline was shelved, because there was no problem as overnight we suddenly had plenty of gas. That line - had it been built - it could have been delivering natural gas to Fairbanks, right now when it is -40F and the air quality is causing cancer! And that my friend would have ended that subsidized electricity we friendly southerners provide for our northern neighbors – and your power rates would have been lowered considerably. Groceries would have lowered in price, along with everything else in and around town – except political contributions. See, that line was the brainchild NOT of corrupt politicians, but from two guys that knew what they were talking about, so it had no traction as without the label of “corruption”, those idiots down in Juneau don't know how to act! One thing I learned from attending negotiations that pipeline, if there ain't nothing in it for a politician, it's NOT a reality. Now, the predictions are dire straits all over again, because we are no closer to a natural gas pipeline today then when we were 10,000 years ago – when the Eskimos could see Alaska from Russia and went on an expedition. And because the price of natural gas has tanked, so has the prediction of not to worry! The inlet gas producers are in a panic, not because of the supply, but due the fact that the bottom is dropping out on the natural gas market and they are just practicing being sore losers all over again. So look for “shortages” to shore up their invoices. Hey, they got to pay for Ben's consulting work – a product with a bunch of pages “Intentionally Left Blank”. Maybe we were blinded by the might to believe what they tell us in efforts to find some self-centered relief, it is only comic I am convinced – this relief that keeps on coming from the political orifice. Talk about a pandemic of Explosive Diarrhea, no wonder the sunlight never penetrates the Juneau skyline! So chalk up another for the 49er, in the category of “Failed Again”, as government funded project 434 is now a reality and falls right smack in place where it so belongs, like all the rest of the projects that never should have been – finding now that stamp Not of Approval, but “Failed” written all over it! Instead of the “Last Frontier”, how about “The Failed Project State”, as it finds more meaning today then a frontier spirit. See, I have been keeping count the failures and it is very discerning – beyond the rage stage! Damn, 434 means a failed project for every U.S. representative – maybe that is something worthwhile, a namesake for every single wasted project funded courtesy your's truly - US! Now that's a Christmas present to colleagues Don Young can be proud of - “Failure”, as it goes hand and hand with our Congress! Here's the take, we pay for 100% of these projects through taxation yet see only 33% in return the value of that project, the rest is swindled away. And then being of no use, it is auctioned off for pennies on the dollar, so we enjoy even less of a benefit then the meager expectations of something worthwhile “so lets go for it” mentality. That is why it has failure written all over it from inception, these prized wet-dreams from our legislative branch. Sounds too good to be true, it is, but so what! Good thing the oil giants don't work like this, as if they did, conglomerates like EXXON would be but a thing of the past. I guess for some that would be a tiding of joy. And I must add this fact of clarity that all is not a lost cause, as that “Return In Value”, well down in the lower-48 because there comes some semblance of ethics in governing when it comes to “earmarking” loot for projects of value, that percentage finds acceptance in and around 78%, so we see not total waste and failure. Why so, because projects in the lower-48 are orchestrated for reasons of necessity, not just for the “construction” jobs, but based upon what comes after completion and the concrete forms are put away, ribbon-cutting commences and doors open for business - is the project worth it? What does it do “For the People”, besides a handful of low paying construction jobs that are supposed to pay “Davis Bacon” wages, yet that “extra” is stuffed away by some guy claiming to be a friend in good standing Don's WAR chest. Talk about a ribbon cutting ceremony with champaign, I still get a laugh when MoanaLisa MurCowpie and Parnell were down in Ketch christening the M.V. Susitna, it looked for real – with the harbor like backdrop and the rotten weather. But that hull was a mirage, as it is still a No-Show and we were left with a big bill for that nothing – in the tune of $70-million! But here we go again, in the “Failure” archives here in Alaska. See the $40-million dollar “Head House” operated as an experiment by the Fairbanks chapter of the USDA will go on the auction chopping block because it is broke, another useless project that was a failure from the get-go - just like the Don Young wood-chuck facility, just like the Delta barley projects, just like the M.V. Susitna, the list goes on forever and gives anyone with any sense of Alaskan “Survivability” pride a “Head House” headache. I was in a conversation with a local banker that has followed the Alaskan investment scene the last 30-years, he told me with a chuckle and sigh of relief that not a single project that required “state” or “federal” assistance would have found conventional funding, as there came no worthwhile project with a ROI that was even close too sound business practices – so in comes Uncle Sam to save the day. And of course the state has thrown away its fair share of money, with the AIDEA relief project program. See, that outfit lost money on its first venture, with the AutoGenisis thing, and continues to this day to be open for abuse – like with the Healy Coal Plant. NOT learning from our mistakes is this state's biggest mistake! Funding for a blueberry farm? Look, those blue things aren't “blueberries”, but wannabes. Maine has blueberries! Yet with the “Failures”, there is enough blame to go around, enough historic evidence to indicate we have blown it in the “project for something” category, but why strangle the money spigot, as we still have plenty of it to be distributed in return for “crap”! And the military has been held hostage to spend money on these “Failures”, dictated by the crocks in Washington. Why in hell do we need a rocket launcher on Kodiak Island – with no rockets to throw into space? Why does the Alaska Railroad get to swindle $45-million away from the U.S. Taxpayers – year after year after year without being accused of breaking the law? Why do the Koch Brothers - or maybe it's Joe Uselessbelli - get to own “our track” for purposes of a lucrative tax write-off along with a generous “transport credit” courtesy the goons in control the Rail board? Bill Sheffield, well he is the Godfather this failed state, sorry “The Don”. Look, like it or leave it, this state has amused more ways to rip off the system that maybe it is time to write a book about it. Title and drum roll please: “How To Cheat Uncle Sam Every Which Way But Loose 101”, a primer for corrupt politicians wanting to move to Juneau. What you mean Sarah has one in print? It has become an abusive system, wherein there exists today many Alaskans that rely on this pilferage, these “Projects to Nowhere”, as many have carved a career out of the “waste not want” cycle and are not about to let decency enter the picture - to spoil their extravagant lifestyle. Honestly, in a report by the G-men, taxpayer money misappropriated to Alaska since “statehood” has cerated more millionaires then all the state sponsored lotteries combined! The best abuse of taxpayer money came about when Ted found money to study the penis size of the male Muskox? The jury is still out on that one because nobody in their right mind....Anyway, will this state ever sigh relief upon a successful project that has merit above just creating “construction” type jobs? Don Young has been adamant that he gives not a rat's ass if that “Bridge to Nowhere” has ever a passable road system attached, as long as it is built – for the “jobs” only creation benefit. Does Don still think there should be a bounty on “Rabid Skunks”? So keep the construction jobs coming our way, it buys votes and we continue to stay addicted to a crazed system of economic survival that relies on a handout! “Zero” sustainability is what it amounts to. Look, why in hell do we pay for runway maintenance in Galena, when that place has not seen a fighter jet for the last 10-years? But the money keeps on coming! And I doubt it that there will ever come a sigh of relief, as I have already lost faith, that there will ever come a successful project wherein the state or Alaska delegation becomes involved that has meaning – except just more highway robbery. Look, this state still can't get it right with road lane paint. That paint seems to vanish within weeks of being applied! Once again, it is designed that way as the IBEW maintains a contract for the painting, so it produces many seasonal jobs by utilizing “vanishing paint” – to hell with road safety. The highways in and out of Anchorage suck, are unsafe and this state spends more money for black-top then does the entire east coast! Along with that sentiment that we have failed in just about every category modern man has a stake upon, it may be just too damn late to change the rotten ways we have become addicted upon – namely corruption. But, success was never the goal! Get that through your stubbornness. See, “Failure 434” indicates yet another “mark” in this state's failure to foster, grow and maintain a sustainable jobs infrastructure. It is the Numero Uno task of any respectable government – wherein we have as of today not even tried at opening our eyes and ears this requirement. And it never should have gotten so far off track, so far out of whack, but it was planned this way – get it? Some saw what was going on in the beginning, some warned of what would come should we continue to listen to what the representative body said and did, especially what was coming down from the Alaska delegation. It was the ultimate “mission accomplished with us or against us” threat. Some in the know saw what was happening, as corruption was always the top priority above anything else. Don't believe me, look what has happened to the decency of Congress – missing in action and an approval rating that is a crying out loud shame. And that didn't occur overnight, it took time to become so disengaged, and we all know all too well that our state's delegation had a whole lot in common with the disconnect – wherein “Loyal Street” was detoured over to “K Street”. Yes indeed, we had individuals that saw and witnessed early on what was about to go down if the evil ways and means of governance continued forward unchallenged. We were a young state, with the ink of “statehood” still runny so susceptible to “scams”. But anybody that spoke up early on, well they found themselves in the unemployment ranks for sure. Yes, in the beginning when oil bucks started to sweeten the pot, their came a few that went out on a line and spoke up as to the correct and righteous way to go forward, with a sustainable jobs infrastructure goal as the top priority, and were quickly pounced upon. We saw interests in foreign trade zones, international marketing, exports, but all was just a show-stopping trap. See, it ain't rocket science as to the correct way to operate, to perform for the good in efforts to advance the cause. But it is the political science of blasphemy that finds a ways & means to cheat the system, that is what has happened and finally after 30-plus years of abuse, it is coming home to haunt us. Basically, we as citizens of the 49er that braved the “Last Frontier” for a new life, well we were drugged and raped at the same time and our children came out of the womb also addicted. Sad times are ahead for the “Last Frontier”, best pack your bags now and divest yourself this romance over the 49er, as it is not too late to get out of Dodge before it is too late. Don't believe me, then why is Conoco thinking of packing up and sending their Anchorage office staff to warmer climates, where they have a guarantee that there will be affordable energy? See, the “Tower” was warmed that it is on the gas curtailment list! BP is trying to divest also, so read the writing on the wall! And with Anchorage becoming the rape and domestic violence capital of the world because Wayne Anthony Ross – once a candidate for the governor's seat and a well respected church going man about town – well he condones rape upon one's own wife and believes all women should keep their mouth's shut – as that is the cause of “Domestic Violence” so widespread this northern hamlet. He's an attorney that believes “rape” is not a crime, I guess he hasn't lost his license, yet! That statistic of “rape & violence” is telling tourists to stay away from the “Big Wild”! Now the drug addiction came by way of Ted Stevens, Don Young and Frank Moussorgsky – a.k.a. The Three Stooges - through years of abuse with the appropriations handouts – a.k.a. “Uncle Sam Pork”. It was not a good thing what our representative body worked towards, as it was not a bonafide benefit, as we had oil and lots of it! But that was the plan, let “Big Oil” slide away with riches and at the same time get us addicted to the free-loading – with Uncle Sam handouts and every form possible, wherein the camouflage of the loot took on an entirely different demeanor. Taxpayer money has headed to Alaska the last 30-years in ways only crooks could dream up. We didn't need Uncle Sam's help – get it? And we had other resources that could have benefited this state's growing pains, without having to become Uncle Sam's favorite recipient of other hard working Americans' loot. Alaska, like it or not is still Uncle Sam's “Poster Child” for welfare, corporate welfare included! With the Obama “Stimulus”, Alaska realizes 3x the national average per household head! Yes, in the beginning, we had lots of gold and coal that to this day sees very little value its true worth as guaranteed through this state's Constitutional mandate – that the resources belong to the residents. The politicians understand this, but fail to act. So that must be a typo in the state constitution. With time on their side - the crooked politicians that is - we went happy with things, basically because we were blind as a crop of bats and at the same time we thought things were rosy and we seemed to like being considered the ultimate lemming population - yet we were being robbed by our own representation that said “Trust Us”. It is no different today. And during the time Alaska was trying to establish itself worthy of “Statehood”, we also had a legislative body that was afraid of going crossed-eyed-wise with the “Stooges” and therefore we never weened ourselves away from the beltway giveaway – a feeding frenzy on steroids that is the only legacy we find with Theodore Armageddon Stevens. Why write a “legacy” book, as it would be nothing more then comic relief, except maybe daddy knew what Ben did for Enstar while being paid a handsome sum of $70000 – that was in addition his state senate salary. Like I said, it would be just more comic relief but if laughter is the best medicine, why not get to the bottom of things as laughter is all we will ever get out of this ramshackle state of affairs. Answer me this. Isn't it time to rename the airport, maybe in honor of a true Alaskan hero, like “Susan Butcher”? Go to hell Ted! And anybody that still thinks Ted was good for this state, think again. Maybe that is where he rests! In the end, we saw that road to riches lead to a road of corruption, wherein today we are beginning to see the aftermath. As true Americans from sea to shining sea realize that we must change our ways, that we must reign in the out-of-control spending habits made so treason like tempting for opportunist - like we found in practice with Ted and Don - wherein their trademark of “rape & pillage” became what others started fighting for, wherein raiding of the hen-house was first and foremost, there is a reality that we must slow down – which means dire times for Alaska. Still, when one looks at what is occurring with the military here in Alaska, the abuse of our delegation continues on today. When the military brass are given marching orders and they act or else, well as soon as it appears that a base here in Alaska is on the chopping block - not for any political reason but based solely on sane economic good reasoning - in come the crocks to put up every kind of roadblock. Come on Mr. Begich, the aging bases in Alaska have no longer a stay for the modern day war machine and are an obstacle to modern day protection. But Mark along with MoanaLisa, they say they are only doing their job, by keeping jobs, as they failed us even more as they had the chance to right their predecessors failures, to legislate with some sense of ethics – just ask Bill Allen. But kicking a habit is not an easy thing. Anybody who has an ounce of sense must realize that the state of Alaska has been and will continue to be the “biggest” welfare state on the U.S. Treasury books. We gave away the oil, gave away a whole lot of gold, made Mr. Uselessbelli rich with “our” coal, and our only saving grace was “natural gas”. But we have blown it there also, as it is too damn late to build the infrastructure for marketing – maybe we can revisit that possibility in 2050! So because they are afraid to admit defeat, as that may mean they would have to return back to the working-class ranks because we are fed up with the their corrupt shenanigans and vote then back into the gutter, well we see today where another crock speaks out. "Right now it's a lot of talk," state representative Chenault said. "So until we get to a point where we have a project on the table, it's all talk." Look, a gas line for the people has been just that for 30 some years by now, “all talk”. Do you really think Joe Uselessbelli wants a gas line interfering with his lucrative coal business? The entire state of affairs is inflicted with that disease of corruption and I am lost for words of what to do – except leave this land for the wildlife that so deserves it. In fact, now that we have given away the resource, give the mountains back to the Russians! Look, we cannot start over because we blew the one clear chance to become an independent state. It was the corrupt influence of Ted, Don and Frank that “Pi-eyed Pippered” us into this mess, and now all but one has run for cover. Don knows what has occurred, but feels it was the correct thing too do. Bottom-line, when the state of Alaska flip-flopped and turned Red” faced, we signed a death warrant and accepted rape, incest - a.k.a. nepotism - as a ways and means to move ahead. And since then, we have not bothered to access what it all means, how we have nothing too stand on, and with that, Parnell still insists on giving what little that is left away to foreigners - caving in and giving it all away. OK, I am in agreement with one thing that comes out of the Explosive Diarrhea orifice of Ted Nugent, “I hate foreigners”, especially when we see all of our resource value being given away to outsiders. Look, political WAR chest subscribers and suppliers get more out of Alaska's wealth then do its residents, the verdict is in on this laughing state of affairs. Look, we give our oil wealth away to foreigners. We give our gold away to foreigners, We give our coal away cheap to foreigners. Don't believe me, well Korea can buy coal from Joe cheaper then can the Defense Logistics Agency, as competition rules. See, if Joe goes stingy on the Korean exports, they find a better deal somewhere in Canada. So It sucks, this mentality that is bent on destroying the words of JFK; “Ask not...”. Alaska has not been a good neighbor our lower-48 brothers & sisters. Blame it on corrupt politicians that think they could pull the wool over us, feed us hamburger helper while they entertained themselves with Don Perignon and caviar. But it catches up, and when the smoke clears here in a few months that we gave away close to a billion dollars to an outside interest - another foreigner - not interested at all in our gas and only interested in incest and rape, we get what we deserve – a BIG NOTHING. That is it in a nutshell. So today we celebrate yet another mark for the VECO grill, the one that Don was famous for using to entice corruption as a ways and means to make the 49er a true looser, it has a hack mark for every failed project - like somebody wanted it this way. Chalking up a loss for us time and time again, yet it was always a win for them and friends. One last thing, what does it take to be considered one of their friends? Sorry, not this guy. And here it is, a sure sign that would make one rethink that there is still “hope” on the horizon. When we say NO to stupid projects like trying to measure the penis size of a wild animal, when we say NO to abuse upon appropriations and buy some decent paint, when such allows residents to not get stuck in the political doldrums of “seasonal jobs forever” and find they must dig into that “Last Frontier“ spirit for survival, then maybe we have a chance of at least admitting our weaknesses and getting weened away from obstructionist like living. Until that time, we remain the laughing stock and our children will never see the light of day, even when the 24-hour light of summer disrupts the dark side of Alaskan politics! Our legacy, seems like the “VECO Grill” tells it all!

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