Witch is Dead
“Ding Dong, the witch is dead. Which old witch? The wicked witch. Ding Dong the wicked witch is dead”. The Munchkins are rejoicing, now that the Diarrhea Channel – a.k.a. The Learning Channel – has decided to not broadcast a 2nd season with the witch here in Alaska. It was a pathetic show that made Alaska look like a rich persons “only” vacation land, not a paradise, but a wet and cold and miserable place without roads. Hey, it is! At the same time, “Palin's Fake Alaska” made this state look like fools run a muck in the wilderness. One can easily see that Palin has no outdoors' experience at all, no matter what her dad preaches, and they let her carry a high-powered rifle? The FAA should impose a “No fly” zone when she is in the field! And look out, as we all know what happened when Dick Cheney was let loose in the wilderness with a lethal weapon, he used some guys face for target practice. “Hey boy, look this way”, BANG! And when Sarah was prancing across the tundra on one episode, you could see that the camera crew was giving her a whole lot of breathing room. Can't blame them, as we all know what happened down in Arizona! Look, I don't watch TV as a pastime, as it is for the most part a waste of time. “Shoot your TV” is my sentiment, along with smashing to smithereens your lawn mower. But I do at times late at night surf the airwaves, in efforts to patrol, as TV is still a place wherein subliminal messaging can take place, by stalkers on the prowl, the innocent becoming victims as if attacked by a pedophile on the loose. And the elderly still enjoy TV, as a pastime to pass away the day, so are prone to find themselves “victimized”. So it is important that somebody referees, as the FCC is missing in action and “our” elderly are getting ripped off. I think the FCC police spend their time on vacations paid for by the cell phone companies, so we can't get the true scoop on brain-wave activity meltdowns caused by wayward microwaves. Look, microwaves cook things! Your brain is getting gently fried every-time you use that hi-tech thing. Anyway, do you realize how much rip-off is being accomplished upon the elderly with all these fancy gizmo giveaway info-product commercials? “And wait, there's more”. See, the elderly get taken for a ride on the “S&H”, shipping and handling charges. And of course there is a return guarantee if this crap doesn't meet your expectations, as long as you are willing to forfeit once again, an “RS&H”, for Return Shipping & Handling. So it is a catch-22. Keep the carp you don't need or pay dearly from your retirement fund to send the crap back. An elderly lady purchased some $2-dollar bills most recently from some rip-off advertisement. It was a scam. In fact, the Anchorage Daily Stool ran a full page add, about this offer - in the news' section! They must be hard up! Anyway, one could purchase “Un-cut” sheets of never before circulated $2-dollar bills. The hitch, the “S&H” was as much as the loot. And the “loot” was inflated beyond decency to begin with, costing those taken for granted $12 for a $2-dollar greenback. And then when you received this “green worthless crap”, realizing that the stuff wasn't printed way back when, but in 2006, it would cost you another $15 to send it back from where it came from. So you could end up paying $30-dollars for nothing! Can't they put people in jail for this? And you had to use your phone to speak with some phony World Mint representative on your own dime, as there was no toll free number. And most elderly still use the old land line, and that is a costly venture, as the plans sold to the elderly are totally confusing. Hey, do you understand your phone bill? It is more confusing than a tax return! But Alaska can really rejoice, as the idiot Hardon family will not be returning either. This is the dad and son that finds 10-minutes claim to fame on “Gold Slush Alaska”. The dad is an imbecile, digging up the pristine wilderness as if looking for hell! The mechanic, a crazed drug addict. The son, I think I saw his mugshot on “Most Wanted”! The rest of the clan, maybe a combined IQ that equals “1”. And these idiots have no respect for anything except an outhouse. Look, people cannot be this stupid! See they are getting chased off American soil because we find out that the entire thing is staged, to make Alaska gold mining look crazed and out-of-control, just like the U.S. Congress. The fighting, the illegal taking of bears, obliterating the country-side as dick head dad goes crazy with a giant backhoe - it is pathetic. Look, gold mining is an ethical industry here in Alaska. When one watches how this reckless crew goes about its business, it paints a very bad picture of “all industry” here in Alaska. The reality TV crap that is being broadcast these days by the Diarrhea Channel, it is pathetic. Bush Flying, or whatever it is called, is another crock of crap. The Alaska State Troopers? Why the Alaska Attorney General has not sent out warrants for those in uniform that participate, it is again pathetic. But who is to blame this indecent exposure? Look, Sarah Palin, John McCain's monster – Sarahstein – she started a nightmare upon this state. And when our legislature decided to give the film industry a whopping tax break, well in came the pathetic crews and their camera equipment to make us all look like a bunch of dummies. But maybe when dishonesty enters the equation and people take it upon themselves to discredit such falsities upon the 49er, as you can only dole out so much crap before the cesspool runneth over, maybe this is as close to a revolution this country will enjoy. There comes a point in time, unfortunately, wherein the 1st Amendment is abused upon. And in Alaska, this state's Constitution allows for free speech but the abuse of such and any negative fallout is the responsibility of the origin. And that is what has happened, 1st Amendment abuse by the lens, and Alaskans started to see that this broadcast crap was just that, pure unadulterated crap fit for nothing humane. So this crap made some idiots from Oregon mini-movie-stars, paid the salaries of some camera crews, provided tax relief, and Alaska got nothing in return except a bad name. Thanks Sarah! But “Change” is on the horizon as these crap shows are failing during season #1, as it is fake garbage. Now if we can only get GCI to fine the hell out of those info-commercial peddlers that break the laws, maybe Alaska can find once again it has decent humanitarian standings. The Pebble Partnership has these lies crying out loud commercials. The decibel level is so loud that it makes my puppy dog pee. All is fine with the broadcast until commercial time, then comes this blast of crap from the sponsors of the “Mindless Mine”. And they get away with these ear drum deafening tactics, and GCI says they are working on the problem? Look, this is an indication of how they – the mine operator - will operate if given the permits to wreck the waters leading into Bristol Bay, with discharges of toxic chemicals. It may not be that alone that makes this part of Alaska a wasteland, but the noise is evidence that they cannot be trusted and are already taking advantage of the law. And please, Diarrhea Channel, don't think about a partnership. Bottom line, Alaska is being attacked by false advertisement. So what, as if you don't like it don't watch it. True. But if it were not for the availability of lucrative tax breaks given the film industry, this stuff would be but a board room dream and never a reality. So it is my concern as this state's coffer is getting ripped off. Now I am all for filming here in Alaska, but why not concentrate on beneficial stuff, allowing tax credits and breaks for realistic stuff, as there is a whole lot out there besides Sarah's crap and all that other crap that is tainting the airwaves. So to the Hardon Family, I hope you have better luck at Dead Man's Creek, up in Canada, as we don't need your likes any longer around here in Alaska. Go away, take the camera crew, and shoot a few bears up there and see what you get in return, as there may not be any RS&H to get your fat asses out of a jam next time around. You were lucky here, as we are still finding our way out of the Sarah Palin's dilemma, and it appears the con-artists are taking advantage our weaknesses, made possible by yours truly!
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