Thanks MoanaLisa

Now I remember all to well MoanaLisa MurCowski taking credit for securing $millions$ in Federal funding to build a “New” museum along side the original Anchorage Museum of Natural History in downtown, so thanks for nothing! For those of you not in the know or care not to care, Federal funding is regurgitated taxpayers’ loot. It is “our” money stolen away so others in power can do as they please to win over friends, to gain popularity in efforts to forever fill a political seat that carries with it outrageous health care benefits, for the entire family including the dog. The way “our” loot is administered, borderline un-Constitutional in my book. In fact, elephants have better health care then most Americans that work for a living. I don’t mind paying my fair share, but the equation of equity doesn’t seem to balance the budget all that well nowadays. Anyway, MoanaLisa made it clear and convincing during her nepotism re-election campaign for U.S. Senator, that she brings home the bacon for jobs and funds to maintain the infrastructure - the “New” museum included as her big ticket item of interest. Well I finally had the opportunity to visit the “New” museum, as there came a freebie opportunity during the Christmas bazaar. I must say, the new addition is indeed bazaar! Definition of Museum: “A building for preserving and exhibiting artistic, historical or scientific objects”. Now some states have historical icons that have something to do with the state, like the “Big Buffalo Turd” museum, or the “Supper Duper Cow Pie” wayside exhibit, somewhere down in the lower-48. So even though this state never made possible a “Bridge To Nowhere”, it appears that we have succeeded in building the “Stairway to Nowhere” and using taxpayers’ money to get away with it! What a deal. Honestly, the “New” museum is nothing but this wasted space staircase, and “We the People” pay for the humongous heating bills, to heat empty space. There is nothing artistic, historical or scientific about this place, still under construction? It looks marvelous on the outside, but I guess you cannot judge a building by its siding! Now the old museum continues to maintain its undivided character, with the Sydney Lawrence gallery along with the “black & white” captions depicting real Alaska at its best. But one can see that the “new” addition is beginning to spoil things, as even the old timers’ museum is seeing the effects of neglect. The Christmas bazaar was not so “Christmas” like this 2009 go around. And with that, remember, it costs a whole lot of loot to heat nothing. But maybe MoanaLisa was just looking out for her constituents, as maybe the “Stairway to Nowhere” has a secret agenda identity. See this state wasted a whole bunch of money building a treadmill for Maggie, the elephant. We figured out that if it were possible to get an overweight elephant concerned about over-eating, then maybe the trickle down theory would get the citizens involved in a more healthier lifestyle. See, this comes about from the fact that Alaskan politicians are more likely to side with an elephant then to side with the constituents. Honestly, in Alaska an elephant has more clout then does the voting public. This occurred when Annabelle passed away, Maggie’s predecessor and companion. The flags went to half hoist, when at the same time there came more notable Alaskan’s that deserved a flag ceremony. Now with respect to the issue of a healthier lifestyle, for the elephant it worked, once that is. See, after months of design and fabrication for a one-of-a-kind indoor elephant treadmill at the cost of $150 thousand, it required several days of coaxing - in efforts to get Maggie on the health kick bandwagon. It was starting to work, as this one-of-a-kind contraption - and included as part of the world’s biggest treadmill - there was an LCD screen that played out African wilderness scenes, to entice Maggie into believing this was the true nirvana, the real McCoy! And it was working, wherein Maggie would venture on the treads when other elephant herds were alive and well on the tube, sounds and all. Until, until…came the scene where a lion runs down and kills an elephant. Supposedly Maggie freaked out and never once set foot upon the 5-tonne treadmill. Anyway, at the “New” museum there is indeed a “Stairway to Nowhere”, with nothing artistic, scientific or historical. Take that back, there may be some historical significance. From the top, if one looks out towards the south, you can see the corner of the Federal building where Ted Stevens used to hideout. Besides that nothing! Wait a minute, maybe something of scientific value does indeed exist. At the end of the stairwell, there exists this supper duper sized elevator. So maybe MoanaLisa was on to something. Maybe this “Stairway to Nowhere” can be encouraging, opened up in the early morning hours for people to get fit. Climb up the stairs, shed some blood, sweat and tears, then hitch a ride down in the “gigantic” elevator. Have a muffin from the café. In fact, the stairs are wide enough for an elephant, or two normal Anchoragites side by side. Now when I say normal, I am just being facetious. Just look around you, we have become the “blimp” state. But I guess we can blame it on the Jesuits, or Catholic priests, maybe the nuns, as they supposedly ruined the eating habits when they came here to incite perverted justice. Anyway, I am “not” at all glad to see that our money that was safe away in the U.S. Treasury continues to support crap, as this piece of infrastructure is indeed nothing short of crap. So maybe we should take advantage of it. Because soon from the top, it will mean looking outside at another eyesore, and this is where the artistic quality comes into play and assures me some artists were once politicians now gone crazy. Who in hell ordered this nightmare? Yes indeed, soon to be erected on the “New” Museum grounds, the Ted Stevens statue. That “Hulkmania” fixture that is still on the drawing board, it will be erected next summer! It is a disgrace, but goes along well the décor of the museum. Pure “Nothing”. More like a decoy! It will scare kids! And some call this art? Anyway, just think of the time-capsule describing Alaska. “Stardate 2009: We built this for nothing(The Don Young Wood Chip Export Facility). And we built this for nothing also(Laird’s Kodiak Launch Facility). And we built this for nothing(The Challenger Learning Center). And we built this for nothing(The Dena’ina Visitor Convention Center). And we built this for nothing(Don Young’s amphibious assault vessel) - so fast a vessel that it has gone missing from its first sea trials. And we have spent more money trying to eradicate the “Honey Bucket”. But we once had a dairy, and that was pretty scary. So we built this here “New” museum, for nothing”. If anything, such a ridiculous time capsule will continue to warn alien races against messing with zero IQ humans disguised as politicians. Maybe it’s the other way around? Believe me, this “New” museum will keep any extraterrestrial beings away, as any intelligent race would have to be nuts, or out of food to even think of a visit. In fact, like Town Square with the PAC - which is the only useful thing ever built in Anchorage because it was built through private funding by a few that cared - maybe the “New” museum stairs can be sold, like the bricks, to support in this case the true missing identity of a bonafide museum, as there is nothing unique about this place but pure waste. Because this state is known for its waste, courtesy the U.S. Taxpayers, the gift that keeps on giving, senator after senator after congressman. And don’t you just love those heated sidewalks? Hey, did Martin Buser really get too take away the treadmill? It should have been placed in the “New” museum, at least it would have been something to talk about! But like Dylan was heard singing out, “When you ain’t got nothin’ you got nothin’ to loose”.