PedEX Award

Anchorage has become the recipient of the coveted PedEX award, for the “Most Unfriendly” city with respect to pedestrians. Baghdad’s “Green Zone” was 2nd as roadside bombs were included as part of the grading criteria with respect to collateral damage. So what does that signify? Ped means “pedestrian” and EX stands for “execution” style abuse. Wow, another award for Anchorage. I hope the award is posted along with the other awards, like “City of Rape”. So I decided to experiment for myself, by taking to the streets to play out the fantasies of a pedestrian. First and foremost, a bunch of transit stops and routes have disappeared! I forgot, this city has a new mayor that doesn’t believe in helping out those that are in need of a little help. “Brother can you spare a dime” is a joke. Remember, the mayor vetoed the non-discrimination clause that was voted in “By the People”, through the Assembly. Hey, I guess it is all right now to practice discrimination, since it is no longer outlawed. So how about boycotting Sullivan’s Steak House and McKinley’s? Hey, if you can’t beat them, boycott them. So why in hell is there still a bus route out to the train depot out at Ted’s airport, called the Bull Sheffield Deposit – a.k.a. House of Crap? Really, this place was built and used but only one time, for a wedding. If I were Bull, I would have my name removed. Is the Bull related to Joe Lieberman of the “Turncoat” party? Maybe the depot could 2nd as a jail, for all of Alaska’s corrupt politicians. Like a zoo, for visitors to enjoy upon their arrival here in the city of dog crap gone wild. There could be an accompanying concession stand, selling Viagra instead of peanuts, to feed the incarcerated crooks. Now there are sidewalks all over the place in and around Anchorage proper, but nobody uses the convenience of conveyance to walk to work or to get to the grocery store. Why? Because after a few days at trying to be green, it is unsafe and the PedEX award was well deserved! Drivers get this mean look when you approach an intersection and attempt to push that little “crosswalk is mine” button. And pedestrians are at the bottom of the barrel, so if you miss that nano-second chance at hitting the crossing-guard button at the right time, you will spend a whole lot of time out in the cold and frustrated waiting for your turn to go in any direction. And for some reason, these hi-tech traffic signal computers try to think for themselves, sometimes eliminating the crossing cycle altogether, like there is this embedded “Terminator” program that laughs at pedestrians. And when you do get invited to cross, you only get a nano-second before all hell breaks loose. Once off the curb and surrounded by imaginary crossing lanes because the cheap-ass paint job from past summer is already weathered away again, you are in the crosshairs of doom! And drivers are insensitive towards those that are using the pedestrian right-of-ways, like discrimination is indeed alive and well here in the Anchorage bowl. How in hell is that little old lady supposed to cross the road? And because this city’s engineers left behind demand the cheapest asphalt for road cover, so lucrative contracts can be given to brother-in-laws forever redoing the roads, well the cheap stuff forms these groves that get filled with water, so not only is there noise abuse upon pedestrians but you best wear a wet-suit! Trying to become a pedestrian around Anchorage is abusive, like committing Michael Carey, or is it Harry Carey? Whatever, you get the point. And with widespread abuse that is indeed “Negligent Driving” and borderline “Reckless Driving” habits, to act as a pedestrian is a way to cut your life short, especially trying such foolishness around this one-paper town. Now I have traveled all over, through many major big cities, there is nowhere like Anchorage when it comes to abuse upon the pedestrians. And here at home, I have a choice in the matter unlike some unfortunates, as I can drive and be protected by steel armor when out and about. Now the bad driving habit thing comes about for those so disturbed at continuously bombarding their brains with radiation! I am talking cell phone madness use. Crappy roads with un-timed traffic signals makes for tough driving, so when one hand is engaged away from driving and trying to operate this tiny little communications gadget at the same time when ¾ of the brain power is confiscated by extraterrestrial interference, as that is what happens when brain waves are toasting, there isn’t much left at the driver’s disposal to drive in a safe like manner - so the pedestrians suffer. And believe me, when you read out loud Alaska’s driving rules and regulations, driving and “texting” don’t mix. In fact, my observations indicate that pedestrians become targets to motorists bent on giving the “walkers” a bad time. I guess it is true, that “it isn’t easy being green”, especially in a “red” state! I talked to a lady from Wasilla, she was in town to have her pet dog operated upon. She said she felt safer out in the dirt road boonies of Wasilla were there are known crack-houses then walking around Anchorage! She has a point. And the rage cannot be blamed entirely on the drivers engaging driving as a second operation over the cell. The blame goes to the road designers. But the overall indicator that Anchorage was fit to receive the PedEX award was due to this city’s cell phone use allowances. Now do you realize that if you get into an accident and are found guilty say from some extraterrestrial distractions, your insurance company will find you negligent, which allows the other party to sue your ass? Anyway, this PedEX award is much deserved and with the way Anchorage continues to build crappy roads and traffic patterns follow no semblance of modernization, the rage will continue and those that take to the sidewalks as pedestrians should increase their life insurance policies. And now that life insurance policies have become the favorite of Wall Street investors, I am sure you’ll be seeing more and more pedestrian casualties, as that seems to go with the territory of malfeasance like life in the “Big Tird”, or whatever it is called. Bottom line, there should be an immediate ban on the use of cell phones while driving in Anchorage, like most civilized cities have on their road rule books already. But that would disenfranchise the campaign givers who are making zillions on the madness behind the wheel, and like a one-paper town, there is indeed an attempt to make it a one-party city where discrimination is allowed and soon you’ll be told and behold that to not practice the latter against your brothers and sisters, that you are derelict in your duty as a citizen. And at one time Anchorage was a model city! This city was contender for the winter Olympics! What ever happened, I think it is called the “Corrupt Bastards” syndrome and the trickle down theory is realized as corruption is even affecting the way we commute! In fact, maybe this city should practice what some cities down Texas way have been successful at, don’t build sidewalks. Don’t let the populace be free! Restrict everybody to do it one way without alternative lifestyles. Drive here, there and everywhere and do away with socialistic mass transit, then one day the oil will run out, and people will be forced to use their God given legs to transport oneself anywhere and everywhere and when lost, say it is discrimination because they forgot how to be polite when asking for directions! Bottom line, it is discrimination at work behind the wheel. But when you have a mayor bent on disenfranchising equality, the monkey-see and monkey-do mentality affects how we do business upon even the basic necessities of life, and what better way to start off our day practicing discrimination, by getting behind the wheel with cell phone in hand and saying to hell with pedestrians - because they are weird as are their alternative ways and means to get around, so different!