“Fish On” Targeted
I apologize for the tardiness of this writing, but research has kept me busy. See, the Alaska Aerospace and Development Corporation is requesting bids on an X-Band secret weapon that targets “Small Boats”. Reality real, according to the Request For Quotations, as it specifically lists “Small Boats” under the “TARGETS” profile requirements - so it must have something to do with the Homeland’s Star Wars Waste Initiative and in accordance with Don’s theory of diminishing returns – Young that is. Don’t you just love it when the “Taxpayers Against Waste Rape” gang up on Don’s pilferage of the Treasury. Anyway, because I enjoy secret weapons that target small boat owners - acting out my “Big Brother” fantasy - I decided to place a bid, as anything that has to do with this outfit or the Kodiak Launch Facility, it must be a money making proposition for crooks when at the same time a money loosing proposition for the taxpayers. In word restricted lingo – political crap, a.k.a. Don Young and Ted Stevens’ style pilferage. So find below an official response for the AADC bid. P.S. If I win the bid it means free coconuts for all Alaskans not in good standing with Don, Ted or MoanaLisa!
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AADC RFQ as found on corporation’s website:
I apologize for the tardiness of this writing, but research has kept me busy. See, the Alaska Aerospace and Development Corporation is requesting bids on an X-Band secret weapon that targets “Small Boats”. Reality real, according to the Request For Quotations, as it specifically lists “Small Boats” under the “TARGETS” profile requirements - so it must have something to do with the Homeland’s Star Wars Waste Initiative and in accordance with Don’s theory of diminishing returns – Young that is. Don’t you just love it when the “Taxpayers Against Waste Rape” gang up on Don’s pilferage of the Treasury. Anyway, because I enjoy secret weapons that target small boat owners - acting out my “Big Brother” fantasy - I decided to place a bid, as anything that has to do with this outfit or the Kodiak Launch Facility, it must be a money making proposition for crooks when at the same time a money loosing proposition for the taxpayers. In word restricted lingo – political crap, a.k.a. Don Young and Ted Stevens’ style pilferage. So find below an official response for the AADC bid. P.S. If I win the bid it means free coconuts for all Alaskans not in good standing with Don, Ted or MoanaLisa!
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AADC RFQ as found on corporation’s website:
RFQ No: AADC-08-008
Best Net Price: X Band Radar
Range: 20 nautical miles(air), 10 nautical miles(Marine)
TARGETS: Light Aircraft and Small Boats
Mean Time Between Failure: 1-year
Design Life: 10-years
Mean Time Before Repair: 3-days
Proposal Submitted by:
SPAM United Associates
P.O. Box 722069
Anchorage, Alaska 99513
Proposal submitted, herein included, by SPAM United Associates - an Alaskan based company - consists of a modular transportable platform utilizing time tested building blocks, commonly referred to as “LEGOS”. Such a system requires a minimum erection and maintenance skills set(3rd grade level) at the same time provides modifications and updates to be economically feasible. Replacement or additional pieces - either for maintenance or future expansion - from simple to complex “block” components are readily available for purchase at Toys’R Us as well as on E-bay. Two versions of the blocks are available, American and Non-American. The blocks are interchangeable. Since bidder is proposing a modified version of the intended RFQ, the required range – both nautical air and nautical marine – can be achieved under any conditions as the transportability allows the X-Band module to be relocated with ease. The module can also be moved to places like Juneau, wherein the “Target” of interest there may be a “Small Politician” named Ben. This may assist the FBI in its current “Corrupt Bastards” sting operation – still ongoing. The module is based on the Lego 452 Mobile Tracking System developed in 1979. In efforts to achieve modularity that allows human occupancy, a multiplication index is utilized. That index varies from 259 to 444. Depending on the size of the operator – the obesity factor – the index becomes the bid price deciding factor. So it is too your advantage to hire healthy workers. The index will also define the X-Band frequency. With an index of 259(healthy human) the frequency to spy on small boats minding their business equals 7GHz. At an index of 444(obese), this equates to a frequency of 12GHz. As far as the Mean Time Between Failures, to date there exists over 109 satisfied customers with 452’s still in operation. The American version enjoys an 83% approval rating while the “Non-American” version enjoys a 90% service factor. The only difference is the uniforms supplied to the personnel. With the American version, red white and blue is the preferred colors. If the “Non-American” version is preferred – because of the 90% rating – the buyer picks the colors. Both ratings should suffice for AADC as only on rare occasions will the radar actually be required, as nobody with a brain fires rockets from the KLF. Regardless, the actual X-Band targeting system shall consist of the Lego “Mindstorms” RIS platform, a.k.a Robot Instruction Set. This time proven technology provides a MicroSoft Windows based platform and designed by National Instruments and utilizing “LabVIEW”. The system is programmed using Robolab GUI-based language. To date, successful projects of interest utilizing this code are Alpha Rex, Spike and RoboArm. As a matter of interest, an automatic toilet cleaning robot was demonstrated using this same technology. An added benefit of this proposal consists of the following: Official Lego magazine which includes “Cool Creations”, building tips and Event Central. Also, the creativity and block design allows the mobile tracker to be transformed into other useful items, such as a combine harvester, tractor or bulldozer. It allows putting your investment, in this case the citizens of Alaska assets, to good use above and beyond that set forth in the RFQ. Bidder’s deliverables meets or exceeds all stipulations as set forth in the RFQ. Additionally, free membership in the Lego Club is extended at no additional charge to AADC board of directors. The manufacturing site meeting - as spelled out in the RFQ - will be held at LegoLand, Florida. This is an amusement type theme park that should fit well with AADC’s “mission statement” of no accomplishments – except wasting money at the same time having fun ripping off the taxpayers. Also, there exists a wide network of Lego aficionados and on-line support resources that can be contacted via the Internet for technical advise and advice. Bidder also recognizes the following individuals as bonafide staff consultants: Mr. Phineas J. Whoopee along with his updated 3D Magical Drawing Board, Tennessee Tuxedo and of course Chumley. With this RFQ, bidder provides the following deliverables:
Blocks, pads, frames, chassis components as required.
1 U.S.G. Gorilla Glue(Earthquake Cement)
2 AA Batteries
Instruction Set
Building Plans
Firm Bid Price is as follows:
259 X-Band Module(Healthy Human) = $3750.00{Delivered}
444 X-Band Module(Obese Human) = $6660.00{Delivered}
Bidder’s proposal far exceeds the requirements of the RFQ and with that in mind, SPAM United Associates should be the recipient of this RFQ.
Respectfully Submitted on this 15th day of November, 2007
SPAM MaGee for SPAM United Associates
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Ok, so you may think I ate one too many pieces of fruit-cake while researching this X-Band Small Boat Targeting “crap” and that this type of wasted time and effort was just that – wasted! Wrong, as each bid must be taken seriously or an appeal allows holding the entire damn program hostage for a long, long time. That is the key to this type of shenanigans. Better yet, it is not shenanigans but a duty for individuals to uphold the rights of those citizens that have not the time or no longer the willpower to do so. Bottom line, this is way to attack the waste machine. In fact it is a way to target the military machine. If we cannot pay the young troops fighting in Iraq a decent wage – compared to BlackWater Jack militants – then it is time for the machine to get a tune-up. With the 1st and 2nd Amendments so secure, I don’t need Rumsfeld like mentality protecting my interests. That interest is my wallet! Now for the most part, the military machine - along with all of the waste that exists just to make a few CEOs more rich and powerful - it must be procured through the “bidding” process. So that is the key to getting a crappy state of affairs turned around. They feed us crap, crap we feed them back! So if it requires a bid, then Americans should be paper storming the bidding offices from coast to coast with bogus “SPAM” bids, so we can be heard. A bid just cannot be ignored. So get on the internet and see what kinds of bids are presently on the solicit list. Then with a little ingenuity, send in a bid and be prepared to appeal the process. In fact send in bids in every language possible, as most do not specify a language. So it cannot just be ignored because it is in Arabic! Or Pig Latin! This “Spamming” is intended to bog down the system. Now my bid – using Toy Technology – has merit. When we were kids and played out our war fantasies with toy cowboys and Indians, it allowed a trial and error setting, so the outcome could be calculated, which meant screw this battlefield stuff as the Playboy magazines were more interesting – especially with stories about Vietnam and how the administration lied to my mom and dad. Deja vu what? Maybe that is what this present day administration – congress included – should play with, TOYS, before sending real live young kids over to patrol the streets of an unfriendly country. Yes indeed, it is time to get even. So while “Spamming” the military bidding system, send the president some toy soldiers, maybe a few with splattered red paint. While you are at it, send some baby pacifiers. Of course, George may enjoy the Legos, as he seems not to have had the opportunity to enjoy playing out cowboys and Indians and toy soldier. And you know what? His war bid was just that, bogus as my bid!
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Ok, so you may think I ate one too many pieces of fruit-cake while researching this X-Band Small Boat Targeting “crap” and that this type of wasted time and effort was just that – wasted! Wrong, as each bid must be taken seriously or an appeal allows holding the entire damn program hostage for a long, long time. That is the key to this type of shenanigans. Better yet, it is not shenanigans but a duty for individuals to uphold the rights of those citizens that have not the time or no longer the willpower to do so. Bottom line, this is way to attack the waste machine. In fact it is a way to target the military machine. If we cannot pay the young troops fighting in Iraq a decent wage – compared to BlackWater Jack militants – then it is time for the machine to get a tune-up. With the 1st and 2nd Amendments so secure, I don’t need Rumsfeld like mentality protecting my interests. That interest is my wallet! Now for the most part, the military machine - along with all of the waste that exists just to make a few CEOs more rich and powerful - it must be procured through the “bidding” process. So that is the key to getting a crappy state of affairs turned around. They feed us crap, crap we feed them back! So if it requires a bid, then Americans should be paper storming the bidding offices from coast to coast with bogus “SPAM” bids, so we can be heard. A bid just cannot be ignored. So get on the internet and see what kinds of bids are presently on the solicit list. Then with a little ingenuity, send in a bid and be prepared to appeal the process. In fact send in bids in every language possible, as most do not specify a language. So it cannot just be ignored because it is in Arabic! Or Pig Latin! This “Spamming” is intended to bog down the system. Now my bid – using Toy Technology – has merit. When we were kids and played out our war fantasies with toy cowboys and Indians, it allowed a trial and error setting, so the outcome could be calculated, which meant screw this battlefield stuff as the Playboy magazines were more interesting – especially with stories about Vietnam and how the administration lied to my mom and dad. Deja vu what? Maybe that is what this present day administration – congress included – should play with, TOYS, before sending real live young kids over to patrol the streets of an unfriendly country. Yes indeed, it is time to get even. So while “Spamming” the military bidding system, send the president some toy soldiers, maybe a few with splattered red paint. While you are at it, send some baby pacifiers. Of course, George may enjoy the Legos, as he seems not to have had the opportunity to enjoy playing out cowboys and Indians and toy soldier. And you know what? His war bid was just that, bogus as my bid!
CopyRight 2007 – Dixie Productions/MSK Media/Eagle Rock Press
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